"I didn"t think you were going to come," he said in a low voice.
"I said I would." Okay, her voice shook just a bit, but overall she had to give herself brownie points for sounding relatively calm.
"Let"s go talk." He placed a hand on her back and guided her past the shuffle board to the stairs that led to the lounge.
As usual the lounge was quieter, less crowded, with a smaller bar. With a nod, Adam acknowledged the pretty bartender she knew as Maxie. He led her to the opposite end of the room, away from everyone to an empty table.
"What"s on your mind?" he asked once they were sitting and facing each other.
She blinked. Loneliness, fear, the fact that she was about to walk away from the man she loved, all plagued her mind. He reached and grasped her hand, automatically their fingers entwined.
"You said things have changed." His voice was low and raw.
She nodded.
A painful silence settled between them.
"What do you want from me? From us?"
She met his gaze briefly and then looked away. "You race cars." The words were spoken so softly, so out of the blue. She turned her attention to Adam. He sat, watching her, waiting. "It scares me." She gave him a small smile, as surprised by this revelation as his expression said he was. "It"s dangerous."
In the dimly lit room, she saw something flicker in his eyes. Annoyance. Anger. She wasn"t sure.
"Life is dangerous," he responded. "You either live it or let the unknown cripple you. I chose to live."
"But you could die. Look what happened to Sean Edwards, Allan Simonsen." She named a few race car drivers who"d died recently.
He leaned forward, his elbows on the table. "Everyone dies, Lily." There was emptiness in his voice she"d never noticed before. As if he were numb. "I live for now."
She shook her head. "I need more, Adam. I need stability and tame."
He sat back. "Tame," he repeated.
"You"re not tame," she said sadly. "You can never be tamed."
He brushed a hand over his jaw and let out a breath. "You want boring."
Silence.
He pushed his chair back, came to his full height and extended his hand to her. Puzzled, she looked at him. "I"ll walk you out."
With a slight lip press, she absorbed the unexpected shock of disappointment and lowered her head to keep it from reflecting on her face. What did she expect? For him to fight for them, or even worse, try to convince her to stay.
"I want you, Liliana," Adam admitted, his voice very quiet. "When I touch you, I melt. When I think of you touching me, I lose myself."
Life needed to go easy on her. It just wasn"t right for him to tell her things like that. To whisper it as if she were the love of his life while he was breaking her heart.
"But I don"t fit the mold of your ideal guy. I can never be that person."
There was a hint of regret in his voice that pulled at her heart. Lily glanced at him, his expression clouded. When she didn"t place her hand in his, he dropped his extended hand to his side and waited for her to join him.
This is it, she thought and stood. The end. No more Adam. No more secret smiles or early morning phone calls. She walked ahead of him, heading for the exit. Her heart beat a slow ache in her chest. She stumbled, almost tripping down the stairs. She quickly reached for the wall to catch her balance but he was already by her side, strong arms around her waist. Their faces inches away.
"Don"t fall," he whispered. His gaze on her mouth.
The warning came too late. She already had.
Then he was kissing her, deep and hard. Lily"s arms instantly moved to his neck. Warm, soft lips matched hers. Her body ached all over, her head spun, and she forgot all about why Adam wasn"t the one. When he pulled back, he lingered, clearly not wanting to stop. The band had arrived and was singing a great cover of Ain"t No Sunshine by Bill Withers. Dazed, she remained still.
He released her. With clenched jaw, he ran a hand through his hair. "I"ll see you around." He walked past her and opened the door for her to leave.
Chapter Eleven.
"If you"ve deeply resonated with another person, the connection remains despite distance, time, situation, lack of presence or circ.u.mstance."
Victoria Erickson Two days later, Lily sat in the pa.s.senger seat next to Minka, fiddling with her phone. There had been no word from Adam. Not one single attempt. Her fingers scrolled to his name, too chicken to press SEND, she chose the text option and stared at the empty s.p.a.ce.
What exactly was she going to say?
I miss you.
I love you.
I"m carrying your baby.
She typed the words and stared at them on the screen.
And now what?
Press SEND?
She pondered over the message. It was a lot to communicate via text. Besides, hadn"t she been the one who chose to walk away? In the end, she didn"t even have the strength to let her fingers do the talking and discarded the phone in her purse.
"You miss him," Minka said gently. "I don"t understand why you broke up with him."
"There was nothing to break up from."
That was a lie. She knew it and so did her friend. Minka pulled the car into the entrance of Martha"s Way and parked in the reserved spot. The stylish yet chic inn owned by Jason was hidden in the pastoral town of West Tisbury on seven acres of s.p.a.cious immaculate lawns, surrounded by a whirlwind of colors. Dark reds, bright oranges, and traces of crisp yellow leaves drifting down from the thick branches of the surrounding trees lent a perfect combination of autumn to the scene. Around each bend on its grounds were benches where one could relax amongst the flowers and fountains and take in the afternoon sun or the night sky.
"Looks like Keely and Claire are already here," Minka informed her, pointing to the parked orange Jeep. "Adam will be here later. Will you be okay?"
The answer was a resounding no, but she couldn"t ask them to exclude him. They were a tight knit circle that she"d somehow managed to weave herself into. Besides, she knew going in this day would eventually come. "I"ll be fine," she replied.
"He needs to know."
They stepped out of the car. A light breeze pa.s.sed, making the falling leaves twirl in the air and evoking fond memories of jumping into piles of leaves with Adam last autumn. A soft smile touched the corners of her lips. "I will tell him. I just need the right moment."
Minka took her hand and squeezed it. "I"m worried about you."
"Don"t be. I"ll be fine." She smiled. "And I will tell him."
Minka nodded, tucked her curls back behind her ears. "Jason hasn"t asked me what"s going on, so don"t worry about that. You can stay with us as long as you want."
Lily nodded. Jason hadn"t asked her any questions either, but during dinner, he no longer offered her wine. He had to know. He was a perceptive man. Jason and Minka, as expected were perfect hosts, but she couldn"t help but feel she"d be in the way for two weeks. The wine and food festival was over, the remaining crowd was dwindling, and soon the island would consist only of locals. She made a mental note to speak to Nora, Martha"s Way manager, to book a room for this week and next.
Lily stopped her strides, bent down and picked up a leaf from the ground. "Autumn is such a perfect time for a wedding." She brushed the dry, brittle foliage against her fingers. "It"s going to be absolutely beautiful. You"re going to look amazing."
"You think so?" Minka asked without a hint of the insecurity she"d worked so hard to overcome.
"h.e.l.l, yeah. I can"t wait to see the dress. Come on, let"s go try on some wedding dresses, my friend." She hooked Minka"s arm in hers and the two women chuckled together.
They found Keely and Claire in the front living room sitting by the crackling fire, leisurely drinking a gla.s.s of wine. As Minka"s longtime friend, Lily had met Keely before. But it wasn"t until last year, during Lily"s visit to the island, that she"d really gotten the chance to know Minka"s sister and develop a friendship with her. "Here comes the soon to be bride." Keely hugged her sister, then Lily. "And Adam"s kryptonite."
The women chuckled. Lily had become accustomed to them teasing her about Adam. "I"m not his kryptonite," she said for probably the hundredth time.
Claire chuckled. "He talks about you all the time, you know."
No, she didn"t know that. "Adam and I are not together." She might as well put it out there. Their relationship had never been a secret.
"Right. Just sleeping together."
"No, I mean." Lily paused. "We broke up."
Claire"s pretty face turned into a serious expression. "Oh. I"m sorry to hear that. I was looking forward to the two of you making beautiful babies."
All the air left Lily"s lungs. She tucked one side of her hair behind her ear.
Keely brows knotted. "You were good for him. He"s a fool. We"ll be sure to give him the stare down later.
Lily felt Minka watching her. She walked over to the vintage leather chair by the fire and sat down. "Adam didn"t do anything." Technically he hadn"t.
Claire and Keely"s eyes bulged in shock.
"You dumped Adam." Keely"s voice went up on the last word.
"Wow, that"s a first," Claire added. "Let"s drink to that." She picked up the open wine bottle.
"Um, no wine," Lily stammered, causing the two women to give her a strange look. Lily twisted her neck as if sore and rubbed the back of it. She knew they picked up on her hesitation.
"Oh," Claire and Keely said in harmony.
She offered a tight smile. "I"m pregnant."
"And she hasn"t told him," Minka added.
Lily shot her BFF a look. Minka smiled.
"He should know," Keely said gently.
Claire nodded in agreement. "We are here for you, Lily, whatever you need. But he needs to know."
Friends were like that. They were loyal, priceless; they shared your happiness and sorrows with you and call you on your s.h.i.t when you were being a coward.
"I am going to tell him."
They exchanged another round of hugs. When the tears fell down her cheek, she chuckled and tried to bring the attention back to the reason why they were there on the first place. She glanced at Minka. "Let"s go try on that dress of yours."
As Claire placed her wine gla.s.s down on the antique coffee table, the bohemian bracelets on her left arm drew Lily"s eyes to the black ink inside her wrist.
"You have a tattoo," Lily remarked. "Can I see it? I"ve always wanted one."
Claire hesitated then pulled the bracelets back, revealing the delicate black loops of the infinity sign.
"It"s beautiful. Why do you hide it?"
Something crossed Claire"s face but it disappeared quickly. "I"ve had it for a while. Most of the time I forget it"s there." She exhaled, smiled brightly. "Let"s go try on your wedding gown, Minka."
Lily picked up on the tightness in Claire"s voice. Whatever story was behind the tattoo, the other woman wasn"t ready to get into it. She understood that and didn"t press on. They all had their secrets. They walked up the stairs to the main suite where the gown Claire and Keely designed was carefully displayed on the bed. A gasp escaped Lily and Minka"s lips as they rushed forward.
A hopelessly romantic creation, the ethereal gown was covered from head-to-toe in intricate Chantilly lace carefully placed to create an ultra-flattering silhouette.
"Wow," Minka"s voice trembled. The emotions clear in her voice.
Keely batted her eyelashes, fighting back tears. "Come on, try it on," she urged her sister.
Seconds later, Minka stood circled between her twin sister, her friends and her new BFF-the wedding gown.
"Wow, check out the back," Lily exclaimed.
Minka spun around revealing a deep V leading to a modest train.
Keely walked over to her sister. "You look so beautiful, Minka," she said softly, her voice choked with emotion.
Minka brushed her eyelashes as if something was caught in them. The two women chuckled, looked at each other and hugged. Tears rolled down their faces. Lily stepped back and took in the moment. The tension that once existed between the two sisters now seemed like a figment of her imagination.
"It"s perfect," Minka said with a beaming smile once Keely stepped back. "Thank you." She tipped her head to Keely, Lily, and Claire. "To all of you. I love it. I love you."
Another round of hugs and sniffles were exchanged. No problem for Lily, tears came easy nowadays. Her phone chirped, she walked over to the bed and picked it up.
Adam.
Her heart somersaulted.