"That doesn"t give you the right to take a life," Rafa said thickly.
"Rafa," Lily interrupted. "Adam is not responsible for Lea"s death."
Another heavy silence filled the room. The air grew thicker with tension. Adam looked at Lily then Rafa. Her brother"s face was a dark mask of anger.
"We can"t bring her back," Lily said, sadness heavy in her voice. She knew the words hurt Rafa. Lea was a fragile topic that hadn"t been touched or discussed since her unexpected death. She was all too familiar with her brother"s pain of losing his wife. But as much as she wished she could take away the guilt, agony, it wouldn"t bring Lea back.
"Your brother is right, Liliana." Adam"s spectral voice interrupted her thoughts. "I was eight, and I made a mistake."
Rafa sneered. "It"s bigger than a mistake."
"I can"t edit or erase my past. I can only accept it. Liliana has helped me a great deal with that." He paused. Another wave of silence filled the room. All of the Serrano eyes stayed on him, waiting to hear his side of the story. "I was born an addict."
"Dios mo," her mother whispered.
"For eight years, violence and drugs were my normal," Adam continued. His gaze swept over each one of her brothers. "You"re lucky to have never lived through that. You"ll never know what"s it"s like to not want to come home because you may catch your mother with a needle up her arm, or a client walking out of the dingy house with his fly still open."
"Why did you shoot him?" Max asked.
"You need more reasons," Zander spat.
"I came home one day and found my mother on the floor dead with a needle in her arm, gun by her side. It"s easy to give a reason or to hide behind the fact that I was eight, but..." he released Lily"s hands and shoved his own into his pockets. "I became a product of my environment for a while. I was angry, tired of being abused. It wasn"t until later did I find out that my father had held a gun to her head and tried to sell me off. As crazy and sick as she was, she refused to do it."
He walked over to where her parents sat. "I care a great deal for your daughter."
Lily watched her parents stand up. Her mother took his hand in hers. In her loving way, she touched his face. The gesture made Lily"s heart squeeze. "We know you do. We wish you and Lily had told us everything."
"Me too," Adam answered thickly.
"Do you love her?" good ole Rafa asked, his gaze intensely fixed on Adam.
Because she"d learned so much about Adam in the last two weeks, Lily was able to detect the muscles in his neck and shoulders tensed. Time seemed to have stopped, waiting for Adam to answer. Lily stood still, heart thundering.
Adam said nothing for a long moment. When he spoke, it was in a voice of breathtaking, ice-cold venom. "Love is a word used too much, too soon, and too carelessly."
Her heart jumped. But she dare not move. Rafa shook his head, gave Lily a long look, glanced at Adam, then back at his sister. "You asked why I"m so against your relationship and this is why. He doesn"t love you. He doesn"t know how to."
The words stabbed her in the gut. Pain as strong as one hundred daggers sank into her stomach. She met Adam"s gaze and searched, pleaded for some indication that the last two weeks were not a figment of her imagination. Adam"s jaw clenched. He stood rigid. Unwavering. And her heart dissolved to her toes.
"You"re an a.s.shole," she heard Max say to Rafa.
"f.u.c.k off," Rafa replied.
She stood still in the room; tears, large and profuse, flowed down her cheeks. All the faces around her blurred.
"Adam and Lily need time to talk. Let"s give them that." Her father extended his hand to Adam and the two shook hands. "Our hearts tell us you"re a good man. Thanks for coming to us today. It meant a lot." Reaching for her mother"s hand, the two stopped to give her a hug then walked out of the room. Her brothers followed.
Once alone, they stood in silence for what felt like hours. Her eyes fixed on Adam"s face.
"Let"s go home."
Adam reached for her, but she took two small steps backward.
"Liliana."
In her heart of hearts, she knew he loved her. She"d seen it in his eyes on many occasions. Yet, he stood there in front of her parents and acted so cold. "I love you so much that it hurts my heart," she said, her voice breaking as she did so.
A frown fell upon his lips and she let out a soft bitter laugh. Her gut wrenched in pain for him, for her, and their baby. "I thought you loved me. I thought," she paused, fighting back the cascade of tears she met his gaze and let out a low bitter laugh. "I saw it in your eyes." Adam walked over to the large bay window. Gray clouds blanketed the earth. He turned his back to her, shoved his hands into his pockets and focused his gaze into nothingness.
"You"re scared to love me, or at least to say it, because if you say it then it becomes real."
She waited for him to say something. Anything to prove her brother wrong and confirmed everything she thought she saw in him. He said nothing and the blow of defeat painfully clobbered her heart against the cage of her ribs.
"I can"t settle, Adam." She took a deep breath to stop herself from breaking down again. "I love you too much to ever give you just a portion of me. It"s all or nothing."
From the sheltered corner where he stood, Adam turned to meet her gaze. His expression told her once again he"d had shut down. With her emotions strangling her whole, she dragged herself away from the scene, with a broken heart and a battered soul.
Chapter Twenty-Eight.
"When you meet the one who changes the way your heart beats, dance with them to that rhythm for as long as the song last."
Kirk Diedrich Lily adjusted the shoulder of the haven blue dress. She studied her reflection in the mirror; the fluid cut fit her perfectly. She blew out a breath and strands of her bangs danced away from her eyes.
"Ready?" Minka whispered in her ear.
She smiled. "Yes."
The door to Martha"s Way that lead to the acres of land swung open and she stepped into the sunny afternoon. A hush settled over the crowd. With slow strides, she walked down the aisle. Her parents blew her a kiss, her brothers smiled. She caught sight of Adam"s parents sitting a few rows over and they smiled warmly at her.
It was early October. The leaves, having lost their green hue, seemed to be a mirror for the sun that day as both burned a delicious shade of orange. A sunny day with a few puffy, white clouds. A perfect day for Minka and Jason"s wedding.
Claire and Keely had already walked down the aisle and were now standing on the opposite side of Jason and his groomsmen. Blake blew a kiss across to Keely. Forrest and Claire made brief eye contact then eventually broke the connection. She peeked at Jason. He stood under the oak tree, strong and stunning in the navy shawl-collar Italian wool tuxedo with his three best friends at his side, patiently waiting for his bride. Then her eyes drifted to Adam. His face was carved in a granite expression. He returned her gaze, sending a startling jolt through her limbs. She hadn"t seen him since the whole ordeal with her parents; that was two days ago. He even skipped the rehearsal dinner. Her immediate reaction had been to go to him and made sure he was okay, but she sucked it up and stayed away.
She took her spot by Keely. Minka"s sister took her hand in hers and gave it a small squeeze. Lily smiled, appreciating the warm gesture. They all knew she and Adam were on the fence.
A pleasant breeze rustled in the surrounding shrubs. The smell of fresh cut flowers filled the air. Claire stepped forward to the microphone and her plangent voice drifted through the crowd as she sang the lyrics to I Feel That Too by Jesse Baylin. Guests and family members came to their feet, all heads turned to face the far end of the walk to greet the bride. Down the aisle, Minka stood in the beautiful embroidered gown. She held a bouquet mixed with rich reds, fiery oranges, and beautiful yellow fresh flowers. The combination captured the exquisite fall hues. Her father held her left arm and smiled at her as they reached the bottom step. The lighter-than-air floor length veil border of dainty crystals subtly flashed as the wind gently batted at the ends of her dress.
When Minka and her father reached the bottom step, her father leaned and placed a kiss on his daughter"s cheek then brushed his eyes. He shook Jason"s hand, let out a breath and placed Minka"s hand in Jason"s. Minka"s father was visibly shaken. Lily understood and shared the sentiment. Minka was her best friend, the sister she never had.
Claire"s voice faded, the clergyman stepped forward and so did Jason and Minka. Lily watched. Her eyes became moist; she didn"t care to brush them away. She caught the faint sound of Keely and Claire"s sniffles and knew they were all in the moment just as she was.
"Family and honored guests, thank you for coming to witness the beautiful union of Jason Montgomery and Minka Greene," the clergyman"s voice carried over the crowd.
Lily steadied her breath and tried to compose herself, but Adam"s intense gaze drew her back to him. His eyes lowered to her left hand and she realized his gaze was fixed on the engagement ring she was absently rolling with her thumb. When he looked at her again, a hint of a smile teased his lips.
Her body reacted to him as always, but it was more than that. Her mind was aching for him too. I need you to love me. Shaking her head, she looked away, but not fast enough to miss the way his brows creased.
Lily watched the couple exchange rings. "By the power vested unto me I now proclaim you husband and wife." Everyone came to their feet. A wave of applause echoed through the crowd. "You may now kiss-"
The word bride was never spoken. Jason wrapped one arm around Minka"s waist and pulled her to him. Their lips sought one another and they kissed pa.s.sionately to a thunderous standing ovation.
Arms linked, Jason and Minka, with identical smiles on their faces, walked down the aisle as husband and wife for the first time in their lives. Blake and Keely held hands. Claire slipped one arm in the crook of Forrest"s. They stopped near the end of the walk, forming the start of the receiving line.
Lily stood still for a beat, her body tensed and very aware of Adam as he came to stand next to her. He reached out with arm extended. She bit her lower lip with hesitation.
"Liliana."
"I can"t touch you..."
He stared at her, brow arched. "Why?" he asked in a husky voice.
"Because I"ll give in," she confessed. "But I need to be..."
"Stubborn," he finished.
She shook her head. "It"s more than that, Adam."
Adam leaned into her a little bit, his lips brushing her ear. "I miss you."
A whimper slipped through her lips. Her body would have collapsed had Adam not place his hand on her lower back for stability.
"Adam-" she started in a tortured tone.
"Sshh...later. Right now, it"s about Jason and Minka." He gave her a gentle shove ahead of him. His hand stayed on her lower back until they reached their friends.
Shortly after family and guests filed down, pausing for hugs and kisses and congratulating the married couple.
Adam watched Lily take center stage with microphone in hand, ready to make the traditional Maid-of-Honor speech. Her bangs swept to the side, giving everyone full access to her face. Her eyes were bright. Her lips, the color of a red rose, smiled and lightened the room. She looked happy with no care in the world. This was the Lily he"d known for the last year, always ready to face the world head-on. She didn"t dwell on obstacles, even if the obstacle was him. His heart clenched at the sight of her, just as it had done earlier when he watched her walked down the aisle. She made him feel way too f.u.c.king much. He lowered his gaze to the aged scotch in front of him, brought the gla.s.s to his mouth and let alcohol burn his insides.
"Life is about risk. Love is risky. Often time it leaves us heartbroken and empty." Her voice flowed like a river in the room, grabbing everyone"s attention. "Common sense tells us not to expose so much of who we are to another person. Our insecurities, fear, wounds, and even what makes us happy. Because really then we become exposed, naked." She lets out a little chuckle. "But then love tends to happen. Usually we stumble upon it. And everyone knows falling in love is a crazy roller-coaster ride."
Heads nodded in agreement. Voices echoed her sentiment. Adam continued to look on.
"When we fall in love, our heads tell us we"re going to die." She paused, glanced at Jason and Minka and smiled. "But our hearts tell us that it"s okay to become less guarded and to trust because we can fly."
She absently touched her stomach and Adam"s heart b.u.mped against his ribs.
"I"ve watched this beautiful couple fall and learn to fly together. Neither was looking for love, but the best things in life tend to happen unexpectedly." She smiled. "I." She paused, waved a hand toward the crowded room. "We celebrate your love. Your trust in each other. Kiss often, and don"t ever stop showing or telling each other the love you carry in your heart. I love you both."
Applause exploded in the room. Adam"s blood rushed through his head. Once upon a time he used to not feel anything deep for the female gender. Lily had managed to change that. She got to him, big time.
As she walked back to her table, she looked in his direction and their gazes collided. She paused, studying him for an exceedingly long minute, then walked back to her table and joined her family. They sat distance away facing each other but her attention now belonged to everyone but him. Max placed an arm over her shoulder and pulled her to his side. The two exchange words, Lily smiled and reached for her purse. She pulled out her phone, frowned and excused herself from the table.
Adam counted to twenty, pushed his chair back and left the room.
"Stop texting or calling me."
Adam slowed his steps at the sound of Lily. The pitch of her voice rose slightly with anger and frustration. She stood in the garden of Martha"s Way, under the smeared autumn red sky, with her back to the door. He had followed her with the intention to talk and make her understand they didn"t need d.a.m.n words to express anything between them. Now he stood stiff, listening to her talking to whoever was on the other end. "You had your chance, Nate," she continued after a slight pause.
Nate. Her f.u.c.king ex-cheating fiance. Adam stepped closer and leaned against the doorway. She stood in the garden with her back to him, one hand holding the mobile phone to her ear, the other rubbing her bare arm. He fought the urge to go to her and warm her with his heat.
"No, I"m not angry at you. Not anymore. I haven"t been for a long time." She paused again, giving the jerk a chance to say whatever he needed to say. From what Adam gathered, the a.s.shole was trying to get her back. Well, too bad. She was unavailable.
"You"re my past, Nate, not my future." Another pause, this one a little longer. She gave her body a little shake under the cool breeze. "I"m pregnant." She exhaled. "And no, it"s not rebound s.e.x. I"m in love." Her voice trembled on the words, tearing Adam"s inside. Another pause. "Yes, that mad, crazy love I"ve always wanted." She paused again. Adam imagined the cheating b.a.s.t.a.r.d was probably measuring the love she once had for him. "I let you go, Nate, a long time ago. Now it"s your turn. Goodbye." She disconnected the call and stood there for a beat.
Adam remained by the doorway, fighting the urge to throw her over his shoulder and take her back home where she belonged.
"You can come out now," she said over her shoulder.
He closed the s.p.a.ce between them and pressed up against her back. "I wasn"t eavesdropping." His hands ran up and down her arms and she shook a little from his touch.
"What do you want, Adam?"
"You," he answered without a beat. He"d missed her terribly the last two days. Everywhere he turned, Lily"s face was there. Her smile, her laughter.
She whirled around to face him, their faces inches away. Her heart-baring eyes searched his. "For s.e.x."
The sharp-edged words cut him. He deserved her venom in a way. His hands fell to his side and he took a step back. "You know it"s more than that."
There was a beat of silence, as if she was processing the weight of his words. "Where were you last night? You didn"t come to rehearsal dinner."
"I flew to Italy Thursday after we talked to your family."
Another silence.
He shoved his hands into his pockets. "I had to do some damage control after Souza"s piece, so I gave an interview to a local station there. It will be aired in a couple of days."
"When did you come back?"
"Around two this morning."
"How do you feel? I mean, are you okay?"
The concern in her voice made his heart clench. He stroked a finger along her cheekbone, then tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear for the sheer pleasure of touching her. "I"m fine." He leaned in. "I want you home with me."
She stepped out of his grasp and walked in silence. She stopped next to various shades of Chrysanthemum plants. From the distance she studied him. "I saw it in your eyes that night. I will never forget that."
"Liliana."
She held up a hand. "You never want to say it, do you?"