Adam released a deep breath. And she let out a soft chuckle.
"I can"t, Adam. As much as I want you and me, I can"t."
Pain poured out in her voice like a river. And it hurt because he didn"t want to be the reason for her heartache. He took a step closer. She took a step back. An overwhelming silence dominated the s.p.a.ce between them. She was a woman who needed to hear those words. She believed in them. Everything in her life was about love. Her family, her friends, Even her d.a.m.n brothers.
"I see it in your eyes," she repeated. "I feel it when you hold me."
"Isn"t that enough?"
She smiled, a sad smile. "I wish it was, but you see I never want to have doubts. I have no problem telling the world how I feel about you." She held his gaze. "I need the same from you." She shook her head. "And you"re not there, Adam. I want it all. I"m greedy like that."
Another long awkward silence fell between them. The autumn breeze filled the trees with a rustling murmur and swept the dried, crispy leaves across his path. Lily shivered, let out a deep breath, then walked past him into the warmth of the inn.
Hours later, well after the speech, toast, and all the things that newlyweds did to celebrate their love, Adam loosened his tie, sat back and watched Lily dance her a.s.s off on the floor doing the conga line. She moved as if she was connecting to the song, swaying her s.e.xy curves left and right, as the rhythm carried her feet across the dance floor. One of Jason"s friends Adam had met and actually liked until now, jumped behind her and held on to her waist like it was his lifeline. Lily turned, made eye contact with the b.a.s.t.a.r.d and laughed. Adam winced. This was going to be a long f.u.c.king night.
Since their conversation in the garden, she had gone out of her way to avoid him, and it was driving him nuts. He downed the last drop of the scotch in front of him, and pushed his chair back. What was that, his third now? He couldn"t remember. The alcohol wasn"t doing its job, he wasn"t numb.
He glanced at the dance floor again, the music switched to Moves like Jagger by Christina Aguilera and Adam Levine. Lily kept on dancing. That same a.s.shole wrapped his hand around her waist and pulled her against him close enough to feel his junk. She turned to face the a.s.shole, placed a gentle but firm hand on his shoulder and put some distance between them, setting some boundary.
Too f.u.c.king late. Adam removed his jacket and slung it over the back of the chair. He rolled up his sleeves. The f.u.c.ker now had his hand on her lower back. That same spot he"d kissed many times in the last year. The b.a.s.t.a.r.d said something to her and she laughed again. Yeah, someone needed to wipe that smirk off this guy"s pretty face. As for Lily, evidently she"d forgotten they were still engaged. She was still wearing the d.a.m.n ring, for Christ"s sake. Total disrespect.
Adam paddled through the crowd and headed straight toward Miss Happy Feet and Sir Touch-A-Lot. Halfway there, he pa.s.sed his parents and Lily"s parents dancing and laughing. Lily"s father was doing some fancy dance move with his mother while his father and her mother applauded. One big, f.u.c.king happy family.
"Adam, darling," his mother called after him, breathless.
He stopped, gaze on Lily. The dude was still trying to cop a feel.
"Lily"s parents are wonderful." His mother continued smiling. "We are going to have dinner with them next time we"re in New York."
"Great," he said, not really caring his voice showed he had no desire to hold a conversation with his parents and in-laws at this time. As the music switched to Cupid Shuffle by CUPID, the a.s.shole spun Lily so she ended right in front of him. Adam swore under his breath. He spotted her brothers, dancing away like major goofb.a.l.l.s. Neither one tried to step in and stopped this a.s.shole from manhandling their sister.
"What"s wrong, son?" His father followed his gaze and chuckled. He was already moving to the right, to the left. Adam stepped away to avoid being kicked.
"I have to go." He kept moving.
The "Cupid Shuffle" was in full swing. Adam dipped, leaned back once or twice to avoid crashing into a dancer or two as he crossed the dance floor. Jason, Blake, and their wives were leading the whole mess. He shook his head in dismay. Some songs paired with a specific wedding dance should be prohibited at weddings. The "Cupid Shuffle" topped the list.
He reached Lily just as she took two steps to the left and crashed right into the wall of his chest. Her eyes widened and her lips formed into an O. He caught her wrist and started to drag her off the dance floor. Adam secretly admitted that was very caveman-like, but he didn"t care.
"What are you doing?" She planted her feet firm on the floor, her lips pressed into a thin, angry line.
"I"m taking you away from sticky fingers."
Sir Touch-A-Lot walked up a little too close to Lily. Adam"s shoulder accidentally checked him. He would have liked to pop him too, but this was one of his closest friends" wedding after all. So he played nice. Sort of.
"Hey man, we"re dancing," Sir Touch-A-Lot said.
Adam pinned him with a look. "That"s my fiancee you"ve been groping the whole night. She"s also very pregnant with our child." The a.s.shole looked at Lily for confirmation. She grinned. a.s.shole backed off. Adam gestured her to the empty table. "Come on."
"Why are we going there?"
"To talk."
"I"m not walking off this dance floor." She stood firm, hands on hips, challenging him. "Unless you"re ready to tell me you"re in love with me." She held his gaze. "Are you?"
Adam raked a hand through his hair.
"I thought so." She smiled at him.
He couldn"t read her. The vulnerability he caught earlier was now gone. A server approached them with one flute in the tray. Lily snagged it and gulped it down and thanked the server by using his first name. Bryan, the handsome waiter, beamed at her. Everything now made sense. She was drunk, and pregnant with his child. Adam silently counted to one hundred very quickly to stop his head from blowing off.
"Are you drunk?" He watched her frown and realized his voice sounded more accusatory than he intended.
"This was seltzer water. See?" She tip-toed close to his face and blew warm, minty breath on his face. No trace of alcohol and the move was erotic as h.e.l.l. "Geez, Adam, I tend to be on the responsible side, in case you haven"t noticed."
Oh man, she made him feel like an a.s.shole for doubting her. He shoved his hands in his pockets. "I"m sorry, Liliana. You just look like you"re having a good time."
"Actually, I am, and I don"t need to be drunk to have fun. Don"t you know me at all?"
Her honey eyes shot him a you"re-an-idiot kind of look. Since he had nothing of substance to say, he stayed quiet. To his surprise, she slung her arms around his neck and pressed against him.
"This is the only way you get to talk or touch me. So dance."
He put his hands on her hips. "You"re still my fiancee."
Something crossed her face but once again, it was quickly masked. The mood of the music changed to something slower. Adam wrapped his arms around her. Her chest rose against him. Sparks flying, emotions building.
"This is our first dance," she said. Her face buried in his neck so deep that her lips brushed against his skin.
He was sure they"ve danced before but at the moment with her so close, her scent filling his lungs with every breath he took, his mind became fuzzy. More and more of her became a part of him. He couldn"t think straight. "Is it?"
"It is," she breathed on his neck.
His gut tightened. How had he never danced with her before? Adam jerked her closer, and pressed his lips to her temple. "Then no more talk. We dance."
Lily could feel his hands touching her waist as the rhythm of the song played. Her mind in tune with his hot breath against her neck, he stepped forward and back, she followed. The tempo of their bodies was as trance inducing as the moist, intoxicating air their sensual bodies emitted toward one another.
"Do you feel that?" he asked, his voice deep and husky.
This was not merely a dance. His body firmly pressed against hers was communicating his deepest feelings, wordlessly telling her he loved her. She nodded, rested her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes, losing herself to the intense heat that radiated between them. At that moment, she became oblivious of the world around them and lost herself in Adam"s arms. They continued to move like that until Lily lost track of where her body stopped and where Adam"s began.
"Liliana."
"Hmm."
"The music stopped."
Still dazed, she slowly opened her eyes. They stood on the dance floor alone with Adam"s arms still wrapped around her. She caught the amused stares of Keely and Claire. Lily squeezed her eyes shut. Once again, she"d lost herself under the Adam spell. The man was addictive.
She sighed and stepped away from him in an attempt to minimize their body heat, but he jerked her back up to his chest. Before she could say anything, he tilted his head down and kissed her, sending a shiver down her spine.
"I need you home with me," he said, gravelly against her lips. "You belong there. You"re everywhere."
She looked up into his face, emotions on full display "I was only there for two weeks."
He smiled. "You"ve been there for over a year."
Lily"s heart kicked hard. The words were referencing to his heart as well. She read the need in his voice and as always it consumed her.
"Get a room and get off the dance floor," Jason grunted with Minka in his arms. "I want to dance with my wife."
Minka gave her an apologetic look, then wrapped her arms around Jason"s neck, and kissed her husband firm on the lips. Lily spotted her parents sharing a table with Adam"s. Both husbands had their arms casually slung on the back of their wives" chairs. Keely was in Blake"s arm against a corner wall, kissing. She looked at Adam. "I want what they have. I"m not jealous of their love, but I want a chance to have my own HEA."
The slightest frown touched his face.
She smiled. "Happily ever after. And part of that is to be able to shout to the world your love for them."
"You already know how I feel."
The dance floor was almost filled now. Lily took a step closer to Adam to make room and not get trampled. He caught her wrist and hauled her away from the crowd. In silence, she followed him outside the room, down the hall. She peeked at her table and met Rafa"s gaze, disappointment in his eyes. Once alone, Adam gently pressed her against the wall, stepped into her, and cupped her face, tilting it up to his.
Lily felt her lips parted voluntarily, waiting. Their gazes met for a beat then Adam slanted his head and kissed her, rocking her world into total chaos. When he stepped back, her hand automatically went to her lips. "You are trying to break me down."
He smiled and took her hand in his. "Let"s go home."
She closed her eyes, fighting back the temptation to throw it all to h.e.l.l and go with Adam. "I can"t."
Lily waited for him to push a little more, just a little bit more and she might give in. But he didn"t.
"You know where I"ll be, Liliana. Come to me if you want." He ran the pad of his thumb over her cheek then he was gone.
She wasn"t sure how long she stayed with her back pinned against the wall, thoughts of everything she had with Adam racing through her head. Part of her wanted to go to him, that part was her heart. But common sense, the logical part, told her she"d never be happy if she settled.
Lily exhaled. She needed air; cool, crisp air to clear her mind. She peeled her body from the wall and opened the door to the garden and stopped. There in front of her, Claire walked up to Forrest and kissed him with so much pa.s.sion that it even took Lily"s breath away. Even in the coolness of the night, heat seared between them as Forrest enveloped Claire in his arms, deepening the kiss. The air between them filled with hunger and yearning.
Talk about pa.s.sion.
"I"m all grown up now. I"m no longer the snot-nosed girl who followed you everywhere," Claire said once they finally stopped for air.
"I"ve noticed, Claire. I"ve always noticed."
"Then what"s the problem?" Claire continued.
He released his hold of her and gently fingered a few strands of her hair. "You"re temporary," he said in a husky voice. "I don"t want temporary."
There was a long excruciating silence between them. Then Forrest stepped back and started toward the large door. He stopped when he spotted Lily and smiled at her. She smiled back, aching for him, for Claire.
"Are you all right?" he asked Lily, concern now replaced the dark mask of emotions on his face.
"Yes. I just needed some air."
"All right. I"ll be inside." Then he disappeared without looking back at Claire.
Lily walked over to her friend. Claire gave her a wry smile.
"You"re okay?"
Claire nodded, her gaze fixed ahead into the night. "You?"
"I"ll be fine."
"You"re still wearing his ring."
Lily glanced at the diamond around her finger, her heart burned with hurt. "I will return it."
"He loves you, you know."
In her heart of hearts she knew that. "Just not enough."
Chapter Twenty-Nine.
"Sometimes I"m terrified of my heart; of its constant hunger for whatever it is it wants. The way it stops and starts."
Edgar Allen Poe Heart pinched in her chest, Lily turned off the ignition of Rafa"s Range Rover and wondered what the h.e.l.l she was doing in the middle of the night in Adam"s driveway. Oh, yeah, to return the ring. She looked at the screen of her phone. During the drive, she played the scene over and over in her head. She"d call him, actually text him and let him know the ring, secure in its little black box, was at his doorstep.
The night stretched before her like an endless black hole. Now she sat in the car, examining all the cracks in her perfectly laid plan.
What if he failed to read her text?
Adam was due to leave for Russia first thing in the morning. Which meant the ring, the very expensive ring, might get stolen if left outside.
Riiight. This was Martha"s Vineyard and Adam lived in Chilmark for Pete"s sake, a town with a population of less than a thousand people. People were known to sleep with their doors unlocked, and windows wide open. Chances of anyone stealing the ring were almost zilch, but nothing was a hundred percent. Prudent was always best practice. She peeked at the ring again, still on her finger. Just to be safe, she"d better hand it to him herself and then walk away.
She stepped out of the car, phone in hand, ready to announce her arrival. The door opened, Adam appeared in another one of his lounging around the house sweats, bare chest with a drink in hand. She froze in her track.
"I wondered how long you were going to stay in there."
His voice sounded husky, laced with whatever concoction he was drinking. It warmed her body. "What"s in that gla.s.s?"
He lifted the gla.s.s to his mouth and took a sip. "Scotch."