"Teddy, dear, didn"t Mother tell you that old Santa Claus is poor this year? He has so many, many little boys to go to! Wouldn"t my boy rather that they should all have something, than that some poor little fellows should have nothing at all?" She stopped, sick at heart, for the child"s lip was trembling, and a hot tear fell on her hand.
"But--but I"ve been good, Mother!" he stammered with a desperate effort at self-control.
Well, if he could not be brave, she must be. She began to tell him about going to California, to Grandfather"s house. Later she put the orange, the apple, the gun, with a triangle puzzle given away at the drug store, a paper cow from the dairy, and five cents" worth of pressed figs, into the little dangling stocking, placed the book beside it, and hung the candy cane over all. Mrs. Converse, the doctor"s wife, had sent a big flannel duck, obviously second-hand, but none the less wonderful for that, for Margar; Teddy had not seen it, so it would be one more Christmas touch!
And at eight o"clock, as she was putting her kitchen in order, a tired driver appeared, clumsily engineering something through the narrow hall; a great coaster, its brave red and gold showing through the flimsy, snow-wet wrappings.
"Teddy from Dad," Martie, bewildered, read on the card. Not to the excited child himself would it bring the joy it gave his mother. Poor Wallace--always generous! He had gone straight from her plea for the boy"s Christmas to spend his money for this. She hoped he would come home to-morrow; that they might spend the day together. Some of the shops would be open for a few hours; if he brought home money, she could manage a chicken, and one of the puddings from the French confectioner"s--
Another ring at the bell? Martie wiped her hands, and went again to the door. A telegram--
She tore and crumpled the wet yellow paper. The wonderful words danced before her eyes:
Pa says come at once told Lydia he would give you and children home as long as he lives sends his love merry Christmas darling
SALLY.
Martie went back to the kitchen, and put her head down on the little table and cried.
Wallace did not come home for Christmas Day, nor for many days. Teddy rejoiced in his coaster while his mother went soberly and swiftly about her plans. Perhaps Pa had realized that she did not actually have a cent, and was sending a check by mail. The perfect telegram would have been just a little more than perfect, if he had said so. But if he were not sending money, she must go nevertheless. She must give up this house on January tenth, landlord and grocer must trust her for the overdue rent and bill. If they would not, well, then they must have her arrested; that was all.
The fare to California would be less than two hundred dollars. She was going to borrow that from John.
Martie herself was surprised at the calm with which she came to this decision. It had all the force of finality to her. She cared for the hurt to her pride as little as she cared for what Rose Parker would think of her ignominious return, as little as she cared for what the world thought of a wife who deliberately left the father of her children to his fate.
Early in January she planned to take the children with her, and find John in his office. That very day the tickets should be bought. If Wallace cared enough for his family to come home in the meantime, she would tell him what she was doing. But Martie hoped that he would not.
The one possible stumbling-block in her path would be Wallace"s objection; the one thing of which she would not allow herself to think was that he MIGHT, by some hideous whim, decide to accompany them.
Thinking of these things, she went about the process of house-cleaning and packing. The beds, the chairs, the china and linen and blankets must bring what they could. On the third day of the year, in his room, Martie, broom in hand, paused to study Wallace"s "chestard." That must go, too. It had always been a cheaply constructed article, with one missing caster that had to be supplied by a folded wedge of paper.
Still, in a consignment with other things, it would add something to the total. Martie put her hand upon it, and rocked it. As usual, the steadying wedge of paper was misplaced.
She stooped to push the prop into position again; noticed that it was a piece of notepaper, doubly folded; recognized John Dryden"s handwriting--
The room whirled about her as she straightened the crumpled and discoloured sheet, and smoothed it, and grasped at one glance its contents:
DEAR MR. BANNISTER:
I am distressed to hear of Mrs. Bannister"s illness, and can readily understand that she must not be burdened or troubled now. Please let me know how she progresses, and let me be your banker again, if the need arises. I am afraid she does not know how to save herself.
Faithfully yours,
JOHN DRYDEN.
The date was mid-December.
Martie read it once, read it again, crushed it in her hand in a spasm of shame and pain. She brought the clenched hand that held it against her heart, and shut her eyes. Oh, how could he--how could he! To John, the last refuge of her wrecked life, he had closed the way in the very hour of escape!
For a long time she stood, leaning against the tipped chest, blind and deaf to everything but her whirling thoughts. After a while she looked apathetically at the clock; time for Margar"s toast and boiled egg. She must finish in here; the baby would be waking.
Somehow she got through the cold, silent afternoon. She felt as if she were bleeding internally; as if the crimson stain from her shaken heart might ooze through her faded gingham. She must get the children into the fresh air before the snow fell.
Out of doors a silence reigned. A steady, cold wind, tasting already of snow, was blowing. The streets were almost deserted. Martie pushed the carriage briskly, and the sharp air brought colour to her cheeks, and a sort of desperate philosophy to her thoughts. Waiting for the prescription for Margar"s croup, with the baby in her lap, Martie saw herself in a long mirror. The blooming young mother, the rosy, lovely children, could not but make a heartening picture. Margar"s little gaitered legs, her bright face under the shabby, fur-rimmed cap; Teddy"s st.u.r.dy straight little shoulders and his dark blue, intelligent eyes; these were Martie"s riches. Were not comfort and surety well lost for them at twenty-seven? At thirty-seven, at forty-seven, there would be a different reckoning.
No woman"s life was affected, surely, by a trifle like the tourist fare to California, she told herself sensibly. If the money was not to come from John, it must be forthcoming in some other way, if not this month, then next month, or the next still. Perhaps she would still go to John, and tell him the whole story.
Pondering, planning, she went back to the house, her spirits sinking as the warm air smote her, the odour of close rooms, and of the soaking little garments in the kitchen tub. Wallace had come in, had flung himself across his bed, and was asleep.
Martie merely glanced at him before she set about the daily routine of undressing the baby, setting the table, getting a simple supper for Teddy and herself. No matter! It was only a question of a little time, now. In ten days, in two weeks, she would be on the train; the new fortune hazarded. The snoring sleeper little dreamed that some of her things were packed, some of the children"s things packed, that Margar"s best coat had been sent to the laundry, with the Western trip in view; that a furniture man had been interviewed as to the disposal of the chairs and tables.
At six o"clock Margar, with her bottle, was tucked away in the front room, and Martie and Teddy sat down to their meal. Roused perhaps by the clatter of dishes, Wallace came from the bedroom to the kitchen door, and stood looking in.
"Wallace," Martie said without preamble, "why did you never tell me that you borrowed money from Mr. Dryden?"
He stared at her stupidly, still sleepy, and taken unawares.
"He told you, huh?" he said heavily, after a pause.
"I found his note!" Martie said, beginning to breathe quickly.
Without glancing at Wallace, she put a b.u.t.tered slice of bread before Teddy.
"I didn"t want to distress you with it, Mart," Wallace said weakly.
"Distress me!" his wife echoed with a bitter laugh.
"Of course, some of it is paid back," Wallace added unconvincingly.
Martie shot him a quick, distrustful glance. Ah, if she could believe him! "I have his note acknowledging half of it, seventy-five," added Wallace more confidently. "I"ll show it to you!"
"I wish you would!" Martie said in cold incredulity. Teddy, deceived by his mother"s dispa.s.sionate tone, gave Wallace a warm little smile, embellished by bread and milk.
"I guess you"ve been wondering where I was?" ventured Wallace, rubbing one big bare foot with the other, and hunching his shoulders in his disreputable wrapper. Unshaven, unbrushed, he gave a luxurious yawn.
"No matter!" Martie said, shrugging. She poured her tea, noticed that her fingernails were neglected, and sighed.
"I don"t see why you take that att.i.tude, Mart," Wallace said mildly, sitting down. "In the first place, I sent you a letter day before yesterday, which Thompson didn"t mail--"
"Really!" said Martie, the seething bitterness within her making hand and voice tremble.
"I have the deuce of a cold!" Wallace suggested tentatively. His wife did not comment, or show in any way that she had heard him. "I know what you think I"ve been doing," he went on. "But for once, you"re wrong. A lot of us have just been down at Joe"s in the country. His wife"s away, and we just cooked and walked and played cards--and I sat in luck, too!" He opened the wallet he held in his hands, showing a little roll of dirty bills, and Martie was ashamed of the instant softening of her heart. She wanted money so badly! "I was coming home Monday," pursued Wallace, conscious that he was gaining ground, "but this d.a.m.n cold hit me, and the boys made me stay in bed."
"Will you have some tea?" Martie asked reluctantly. He responded instantly to her softened tone.
"I WOULD like some tea. I"ve been feeling rotten! And say, Mart," he had drawn up to the table now, and had one wrappered arm about Teddy, "say, Mart," he said eagerly, "listen! This"ll interest you. Thompson"s brother-in-law, Bill Buffington, was there; he"s an awfully nice fellow; he"s got coffee interests in Costa Rica. We talked a lot, we hit it off awfully well, and he thinks there"s a dandy chance for me down there! He says he could get me twenty jobs, and he wants me to go back when he goes--"
"But, Wallace--" Martie"s quick enthusiasm was firing. "But what about the children?"
"Why, they"d come along. Buff says piles of Americans down there have children, you just have to dress "em light--"