To different distances, they said. Some pilots would go as far as Holyhead for the chance of the homeward-bound vessels; others only took the ships over the Banks. Some captains were more cautious than others, and the pilots had different ways. The wind was against the homeward-bound vessels, so perhaps the pilot aboard the John Cropper would not care to go far out.
"How soon would he come back?"
There were three boatmen, and three opinions, varying from twelve hours to two days. Nay, the man who gave his vote for the longest time, on having his judgment disputed, grew stubborn, and doubled the time, and thought it might be the end of the week before the pilot-boat came home.
They began disputing and urging reasons; and Mary tried to understand them; but independently of their nautical language, a veil seemed drawn over her mind, and she had no clear perception of anything that pa.s.sed. Her very words seemed not her own, and beyond her power of control, for she found herself speaking quite differently to what she meant.
One by one her hopes had fallen away, and left her desolate; and though a chance yet remained, she could no longer hope. She felt certain it, too, would fade and vanish. She sank into a kind of stupor. All outward objects harmonised with her despair--the gloomy leaden sky--the deep dark waters below, of a still heavier shade of colour--the cold, flat yellow sh.o.r.e in the distance, which no ray lightened up--the nipping, cutting wind.
She shivered with her depression of mind and body.
The sails were taken down, of course, on the return to Liverpool, and the progress they made, rowing and tacking, was very slow. The men talked together, disputing about the pilots at first, and then about matters of local importance, in which Mary would have taken no interest at any time, and she gradually became drowsy; irrepressibly so, indeed, for in spite of her jerking efforts to keep awake, she sank away to the bottom of the boat, and there lay crouched on a rough heap of sails, rope, and tackles of various kinds.
The measured beat of the waters against the sides of the boat, and the musical boom of the more distant waves, were more lulling than silence, and she slept sound.
Once she opened her eyes heavily, and dimly saw the old grey, rough boatman (who had stood out the most obstinately for the full fare) covering her with his thick pea-jacket. He had taken it off on purpose, and was doing it tenderly in his way, but before she could rouse herself up to thank him she had dropped off to sleep again.
At last, in the dusk of evening, they arrived at the landing-place from which they had started some hours before. The men spoke to Mary, but though she mechanically replied, she did not stir; so, at length, they were obliged to shake her. She stood up, shivering and puzzled as to her whereabouts.
"Now tell me where you are bound to, missus," said the grey old man, "and maybe I can put you in the way."
She slowly comprehended what he said, and went through the process of recollection; but very dimly, and with much labour. She put her hand into her pocket and pulled out her purse, and shook its contents into the man"s hand; and then began meekly to unpin her shawl, although they had turned away without asking for it.
"No! no!" said the old man, who lingered on the step before springing into the boat, and to whom she mutely offered the shawl.
"Keep it! we donnot want it. It were only for to try you,--some folks say they"ve no more blunt, when all the while they"ve getten a mint."
"Thank you," said she, in a dull, low tone.
"Where are you bound to? I axed that question afore," said the gruff old fellow.
"I don"t know. I"m a stranger," replied she quietly, with a strange absence of anxiety under the circ.u.mstances.
"But you mun find out then," said he sharply: "pier-head"s no place for a young woman to be standing on, gapeseying."
"I"ve a card somewhere as will tell me," she answered, and the man, partly relieved, jumped into the boat, which was now pushing off to make way for the arrivals from some steamer.
Mary felt in her pocket for the card, on which was written the name of the street where she was to have met Mr. Bridgnorth at two o"clock; where Job and Mrs. Wilson were to have been, and where she was to have learnt from the former the particulars of some respectable lodging. It was not to be found.
She tried to brighten her perceptions, and felt again, and took out the little articles her pocket contained, her empty purse, her pocket-handkerchief, and such little things, but it was not there.
In fact, she had dropped it when, so eager to embark, she had pulled out her purse to reckon up her money.
She did not know this, of course. She only knew it was gone.
It added but little to the despair that was creeping over her. But she tried a little more to help herself, though every minute her mind became more cloudy. She strove to remember where Will had lodged, but she could not; name, street, everything had pa.s.sed away, and it did not signify; better she were lost than found.
She sat down quietly on the top step of the landing, and gazed down into the dark, dank water below. Once or twice a spectral thought loomed among the shadows of her brain; a wonder whether beneath that cold dismal surface there would not be rest from the troubles of earth. But she could not hold an idea before her for two consecutive moments; and she forgot what she thought about before she could act upon it.
So she continued sitting motionless, without looking up, or regarding in any way the insults to which she was subjected.
Through the darkening light the old boatman had watched her: interested in her in spite of himself, and his scoldings of himself.
When the landing-place was once more comparatively clear, he made his way towards it, across boats, and along planks, swearing at himself while he did so for an old fool.
He shook Mary"s shoulder violently.
"D--- you, I ask you again where you"re bound to? Don"t sit there, stupid. Where are going to?"
"I don"t know," sighed Mary.
"Come, come; avast with that story. You said a bit ago you"d a card, which was to tell you where to go."
"I had, but I"ve lost it. Never mind."
She looked again down upon the black mirror below.
He stood by her, striving to put down his better self; but he could not. He shook her again. She looked up, as if she had forgotten him.
"What do you want?" asked she wearily.
"Come with me and be d--d to you!" replied he, clutching her arm to pull her up.
She arose and followed him, with the unquestioning docility of a little child.
XXIX. A TRUE BILL AGAINST JEM.
"There are who, living by the legal pen, Are held in honour--honourable men."
--CRABBE.
At five minutes before two, Job Legh stood upon the doorstep of the house where Mr. Bridgnorth lodged at a.s.size time. He had left Mrs.
Wilson at the dwelling of a friend of his, who had offered him a room for the old woman and Mary: a room which had frequently been his, on his occasional visits to Liverpool, but which he was thankful now to have obtained for them, as his own sleeping place was a matter of indifference to him, and the town appeared crowded and disorderly on the eve of the a.s.sizes.
He was shown in to Mr. Bridgnorth, who was writing; Mary and Will Wilson had not yet arrived, being, as you know, far away on the broad sea; but of this Job of course knew nothing, and he did not as yet feel much anxiety about their non-appearance; he was more curious to know the result of Mr. Bridgnorth"s interview that morning with Jem.
"Why, yes," said Mr. Bridgnorth, putting down his pen, "I have seen him, but to little purpose, I"m afraid. He"s very impracticable-- very. I told him, of course, that he must be perfectly open with me, or else I could not be prepared for the weak points. I named your name with the view of unlocking his confidence, but"--
"What did he say?" asked Job breathlessly.
"Why, very little. He barely answered me. Indeed, he refused to answer some questions--positively refused. I don"t know what I can do for him."
"Then you think him guilty, sir?" said Job despondingly.
"No, I don"t," replied Mr. Bridgnorth, quickly and decisively.
"Much less than I did before I saw him. The impression (mind, "t is only impression; I rely upon your caution, not to take it for fact)-- the impression," with an emphasis on the word, "he gave me is, that he knows something about the affair, but what, he will not say; and so the chances are, if he persists in his obstinacy, he"ll be hung.
That"s all."