But he was very nice and kind and told me not to worry about the music--that he didn"t mind it at all. He"d been in several times and heard it. And I thought almost, by the way he spoke, that he"d come in on purpose to hear it; but I guess that was a mistake. He just put it that way so I wouldn"t worry over it--about its bothering him, I mean.
He was going to say more, maybe; but I don"t know, I had to run. I heard Aunt Jane"s voice on the piazza saying good-bye to the lady that had brought her home; so, of course, I had to run and hang Marie in the closet and get out Mary from the corner before she saw me. And I did.
By dinner-time I had on the gingham dress and the hot clumpy shoes again; and I had washed my face in cold water so I had got most of the tear spots off. I didn"t want Aunt Jane to see them and ask questions, of course. And I guess she didn"t. Anyway, she didn"t say anything.
Father didn"t say anything either, but he acted queer. Aunt Jane tried to tell him something about the missionary meeting and the heathen, and a great famine that was raging. At first he didn"t say anything; then he said, oh, yes, to be sure, how very interesting, and he was glad, very glad. And Aunt Jane was so disgusted, and accused him of being even more absent-minded than usual, which was entirely unnecessary, she said.
But even that didn"t move Father a mite. He just said, yes, yes, very likely; and went on scowling to himself and stirring his coffee after he"d drank it all up--I mean, stirring where it had been in the cup.
I didn"t know but after supper he"d speak to me and ask me to come to the library. I _hoped_ he would. There were lots more things I"d like to have said to him. But he didn"t. He never said a word. He just kept scowling, and got up from the table and went off by himself. But he didn"t go out to the observatory, as he most generally does. He went into the library and shut the door.
He was there when the telephone message came at eight o"clock. And what do you think? He"d _forgotten_ he was going to speak before the College Astronomy Club that evening! Forgotten his old stars for once.
I don"t know why. I did think, for a minute, "twas "cause of me--what I"d told him. But I knew, of course, right away that it couldn"t be that. He"d never forget his stars for _me_! Probably he was just reading up about some other stars, or had forgotten how late it was, or something. (Father"s always forgetting things.) But, anyway, when Aunt Jane called him he got his hat and hurried off without so much as one word to me, who was standing near, or to Aunt Jane, who was following him all through the hall, and telling him in her most I"m-amazed-at-you voice how shockingly absent-minded he was getting to be.
_One week later._
Father"s been awfully queer this whole week through. I can"t make him out at all. Sometimes I think he"s glad I told him all those things in the parlor that day I dressed up in Marie"s things, and sometimes I think he"s sorry and wished I hadn"t.
The very next morning he came down to breakfast with such a funny look on his face. He said good-morning to me three times, and all through breakfast he kept looking over at me with a kind of scowl that was not cross at all--just puzzled.
After breakfast he didn"t go out to the observatory, not even into the library. He fidgeted around the dining-room till Aunt Jane went out into the kitchen to give her orders to Susie; then he burst out, all of a sudden:
"Well, Mary, what shall we do to-day?" Just like that he said it, as if we"d been doing things together every day of our lives.
"D-do?" I asked; and I know I showed how surprised I was by the way I stammered and flushed up.
"Certainly, do," he answered, impatient and scowling. "What shall we do?"
"Why, Father, I--I don"t know," I stammered again.
"Come, come, of course you know!" he cried. "You know what you want to do, don"t you?"
I shook my head. I was so astonished I couldn"t even think. And when you can"t think you certainly can"t talk.
"Nonsense, Mary," scowled Father again. "Of course you know what you want to do! What are you in the habit of doing with your young friends--your Carries and Charlies, and all the rest?"
I guess I just stood and stared and didn"t say anything; for after a minute he cried: "Well--well--well? I"m waiting."
"Why, we--we walk--and talk--and play games," I began; but right away he interrupted.
"Good! Very well, then, we"ll walk. I"m not Carrie or Charlie, but I believe I can walk and talk--perhaps even play games. Who knows? Come, get your hat."
And I got my hat, and we went.
But what a funny, funny walk that was! He meant to make it a good one; I know he did. And he tried. He tried real hard. But he walked so fast I couldn"t half keep up with him; then, when he saw how I was hurrying, he"d slow down, "way down, and look so worried--till he"d forget and go striding off again, way ahead of me.
We went up on the hill through the Benton woods, and it was perfectly lovely up there. He didn"t say much at first. Then, all of a sudden, he began to talk, about anything and everything. And I knew, by the way he did it, that he"d just happened to think he"d got to talk.
And how he talked! He asked me was I warmly clad (and here it is August!), and did I have a good breakfast, and how old was I, and did I enjoy my studies--which shows how little he was really thinking what he was saying. He knows school closed ages ago. Wasn"t he teaching me himself the last of it, too? All around us were flowers and birds, and oh, so many, many lovely things. But he never said a word about them.
He just talked--because he"d got to talk. I knew it, and it made me laugh inside, though all the while it made me sort of want to cry, too. Funny, wasn"t it?
After a time he didn"t talk any more, but just walked on and on; and by and by we came home.
Of course, it wasn"t awfully jolly--that walk wasn"t; and I guess Father didn"t think it was either. Anyhow, he hasn"t asked me to go again this week, and he looked tired and worried and sort of discouraged when he got back from that one.
But he"s asked me to do other things. The next day after the walk he asked me to play to him. Yes, he _asked_ me to; and he went into the parlor and sat down on one of the chairs and listened while I played three pieces. Of course, I didn"t play loud ones, nor very fast ones, and I was so scared I"m afraid I didn"t play them very well. But he was very polite and said, "Thank you, Mary," and, "That that was very nice"; then he stood up and said, "Thank you" again and went away into the library, very polite, but stiff, like company.
The next evening he took me out to the observatory to see the stars.
That was lovely. Honestly I had a perfectly beautiful time, and I think Father did, too. He wasn"t stiff and polite one bit. Oh, I don"t mean that he was _impolite_ or rude. It"s just that he wasn"t stiff as if I was company. And he was so happy with his stars and his telescope, and so glad to show them to me--oh, I had a beautiful time, and I told him so; and he looked real pleased. But Aunt Jane came for me before I"d had half enough, and I had to go to bed.
The next morning I thought he"d be different, somehow, because we"d had such a lovely time together the night before. But he wasn"t. He just said, "Good-morning, Mary," and began to read his paper. And he read his paper all through breakfast without saying another word to me. Then he got up and went into the library, and I never saw him again all day except at dinner-time and supper-time, and _then_ he didn"t talk to me.
But after supper he took me out again to see the stars, and he was just as nice and friendly as could be. Not a bit like a man that"s only a father by order of the court. But the next day--!
Well--and that"s the way it"s been all the week. And that"s why I say he"s been so queer. One minute he"ll be just as nice and folksy as you could ask anybody to be, and the very next he"s looking right through you as if he didn"t see you at all, and you wonder and wonder what"s the matter, and if you"ve done anything to displease him.
Sometimes he seems almost glad and happy, and then he"ll look so sorry and sad!
I just can"t understand my father at all.
_Another week later_.
I"m so excited I don"t know what to do. The most wonderful thing has happened. I can"t hardly believe it yet myself. Yet it"s so. My trunk is all packed, and I"m to go home to-morrow. _To-morrow!_
This is the way it happened.
Mother wrote Aunt Jane and asked if I might not be allowed to come home for the opening of school in September. She said she understood quite well that she had no _right_ to ask this, and, of course, if they saw fit, they were entirely within their rights to refuse to allow me to go until the allotted time. But that she could not help asking it for my sake, on account of the benefit to be derived from being there at the opening of the school year.
Of course, I didn"t know Mother was going to write this. But she knew all about the school here, and how I came out, and everything. I"ve always told Mother everything that has happened. Oh, of course, I haven"t written "every few minutes," as she asked me to. (That was a joke, anyway, of course.) But I have written every few days, and, as I said before, I told her everything.
Well, when the letter came I took it to Aunt Jane myself; and I was _crazy_ to know what was in it, for I recognized the writing, of course. But Aunt Jane didn"t tell me. She opened it, read it, kind of flushed up, and said, "Humph! The idea!" under her breath, and put the letter in her pocket.
Marie wanted to make a scene and insist on knowing what was in her own mother"s letter; but Mary contented herself with looking superb and haughty and disdainful, and marching out of the room without giving Aunt Jane the satisfaction of even being asked what was in that letter.
But at the table that noon Aunt Jane read it to Father out loud. So that"s how I came to know just what was in it. She started first to hand it over to him to read; but as he put out his hand to take it I guess he saw the handwriting, for he drew back quickly, looking red and queer.
"From Mrs. Anderson to you?" he asked. And when Aunt Jane nodded her head he sat still farther back in his chair and said, with a little wave of his hand, "I never care to read--other people"s letters."
Aunt Jane said, "Stuff and nonsense, Charles, don"t be silly!" But she pulled back the letter and read it--after giving a kind of an uneasy glance in my direction.
Father never looked up once while she was reading it. He kept his eyes on his plate and the baked beans he was eating. I watched him. You see, I knew, by Aunt Jane"s reading the letter to him, that it was something he had got to decide; and when I found out what it was, of course, I was just crazy. I wanted to go so. So I watched Father"s face to see if he was going to let me go. But I couldn"t make out. I couldn"t make out at all. It changed--oh, yes, it changed a great deal as she read; but I couldn"t make out what kind of a change it was at all.
Aunt Jane finished the letter and began to fold it up. I could see she was waiting for Father to speak; but he never said a word. He kept right on--eating beans.
Then Aunt Jane cleared her throat and spoke.