Gouri was the beautiful, delicately nurtured child of an old and wealthy family. Her husband, Paresh, had recently by his own efforts improved his straitened circ.u.mstances. So long as he was poor, Gouri"s parents had kept their daughter at home, unwilling to surrender her to privation; so she was no longer young when at last she went to her husband"s house. And Paresh never felt quite that she belonged to him. He was an advocate in a small western town, and had no close kinsman with him. All his thought was about his wife, so much so that sometimes he would come home before the rising of the Court. At first Gouri was at a loss to understand why he came back suddenly.
Sometimes, too, he would dismiss one of the servants without reason; none of them ever suited him long. Especially if Gouri desired to keep any particular servant because he was useful, that man was sure to be got rid of forthwith. The high-spirited Gouri greatly resented this, but her resentment only made her husband"s behaviour still stranger.
At last when Paresh, unable to contain himself any longer, began in secret to cross-question the maid about her, the whole thing reached his wife"s ears. She was a woman of few words; but her pride raged within like a wounded lioness at these insults, and this mad suspicion swept like a destroyer"s sword between them. Paresh, as soon as he saw that his wife understood his motive, felt no more delicacy about taxing Gouri to her face; and the more his wife treated it with silent contempt, the more did the fire of his jealousy consume him.
Deprived of wedded happiness, the childless Gouri betook herself to the consolations of religion. She sent for Paramananda Swami, the young preacher of the Prayer-House hard by, and, formally acknowledging him as her spiritual preceptor, asked him to expound the _Gita_ to her. All the wasted love and affection of her woman"s heart was poured out in reverence at the feet of her Guru.
No one had any doubts about the purity of Paramananda"s character.
All worshipped him. And because Paresh did not dare to hint at any suspicion against him, his jealousy ate its way into his heart like a hidden cancer.
One day some trifling circ.u.mstance made the poison overflow. Paresh reviled Paramananda to his wife as a hypocrite, and said: "Can you swear that you are not in love with this crane that plays the ascetic?"
Gouri sprang up like a snake that has been trodden on, and, maddened by his suspicion, said with bitter irony: "And what if I am?" At this Paresh forthwith went off to the Court-house, and locked the door on her.
In a white heat of pa.s.sion at this last outrage, Gouri got the door open somehow, and left the house.
Paramananda was poring over the scriptures in his lonely room in the silence of noon. All at once, like a flash of lightning out of a cloudless sky, Gouri broke in upon his reading.
"You here?" questioned her Guru in surprise.
"Rescue me, O my lord Guru," said she, "from the insults of my home life, and allow me to dedicate myself to the service of your feet."
With a stern rebuke, Paramananda sent Gouri back home. But I wonder whether he ever again took up the snapped thread of his reading.
Paresh, finding the door open, on his return home, asked: "Who has been here?"
"No one!" his wife replied. "_I_ have been to the house of my Guru."
"Why?" asked Paresh, pale and red by turns.
"Because I wanted to."
From that day Paresh had a guard kept over the house, and behaved so absurdly that the tale of his jealousy was told all over the town.
The news of the shameful insults that were daily heaped on his disciple disturbed the religious meditations of Paramananda. He felt he ought to leave the place at once; at the same time he could not make up his mind to forsake the tortured woman. Who can say how the poor ascetic got through those terrible days and nights?
At last one day the imprisoned Gouri got a letter. "My child," it ran, "it is true that many holy women have left the world to devote themselves to G.o.d. Should it happen that the trials of this world are driving your thoughts away from G.o.d, I will with G.o.d"s help rescue his handmaid for the holy service of his feet. If you desire, you may meet me by the tank in your garden at two o"clock to-morrow afternoon."
Gouri hid the letter in the loops of her hair. At noon next day when she was undoing her hair before her bath she found that the letter was not there. Could it have fallen on to the bed and got into her husband"s hands, she wondered. At first, she felt a kind of fierce pleasure in thinking that it would enrage him; and then she could not bear to think that this letter, worn as a halo of deliverance on her head, might be defiled by the touch of insolent hands.
With swift steps she hurried to her husband"s room. He lay groaning on the floor, with eyes rolled back and foaming mouth. She detached the letter from his clenched fist, and sent quickly for a doctor.
The doctor said it was a case of apoplexy. The patient had died before his arrival.
That very day, as it happened, Paresh had an important appointment away from home. Paramananda had found this out, and accordingly had made his appointment with Gouri. To such a depth had he fallen!
When the widowed Gouri caught sight from the window of her Guru stealing like a thief to the side of the pool, she lowered her eyes as at a lightning flash. And in that flash she saw clearly what a fall his had been.
The Guru called: "Gouri."
"I am coming," she replied.
When Paresh"s friends heard of his death, and came to a.s.sist in the last rites, they found the dead body of Gouri lying beside that of her husband. She had poisoned herself. All were lost in admiration of the wifely loyalty she had shown in her _sati_, a loyalty rare indeed in these degenerate days.
MY FAIR NEIGHBOUR
My feelings towards the young widow who lived in the next house to mine were feelings of worship; at least, that is what I told to my friends and myself. Even my nearest intimate, Nabin, knew nothing of the real state of my mind. And I had a sort of pride that I could keep my pa.s.sion pure by thus concealing it in the inmost recesses of my heart. She was like a dew-drenched _sephali_-blossom, untimely fallen to earth. Too radiant and holy for the flower-decked marriage-bed, she had been dedicated to Heaven.
But pa.s.sion is like the mountain stream, and refuses to be enclosed in the place of its birth; it must seek an outlet. That is why I tried to give expression to my emotions in poems; but my unwilling pen refused to desecrate the object of my worship.
It happened curiously that just at this time my friend Nabin was afflicted with a madness of verse. It came upon him like an earthquake.
It was the poor fellow"s first attack, and he was equally unprepared for rhyme and rhythm. Nevertheless he could not refrain, for he succ.u.mbed to the fascination, as a widower to his second wife.
So Nabin sought help from me. The subject of his poems was the old, old one, which is ever new: his poems were all addressed to the beloved one. I slapped his back in jest, and asked him: "Well, old chap, who is she?"
Nabin laughed, as he replied: "That I have not yet discovered!"
I confess that I found considerable comfort in bringing help to my friend. Like a hen brooding on a duck"s egg, I lavished all the warmth of my pent-up pa.s.sion on Nabin"s effusions. So vigorously did I revise and improve his crude productions, that the larger part of each poem became my own.
Then Nabin would say in surprise: "That is just what I wanted to say, but could not. How on earth do you manage to get hold of all these fine sentiments?"
Poet-like, I would reply: "They come from my imagination; for, as you know, truth is silent, and it is imagination only which waxes eloquent. Reality represses the flow of feeling like a rock; imagination cuts out a path for itself."
And the poor puzzled Nabin would say: "Y-e-s, I see, yes, of course"; and then after some thought would murmur again: "Yes, yes, you are right!"
As I have already said, in my own love there was a feeling of reverential delicacy which prevented me from putting it into words.
But with Nabin as a screen, there was nothing to hinder the flow of my pen; and a true warmth of feeling gushed out into these vicarious poems.
Nabin in his lucid moments would say: "But these are yours! Let me publish them over your name."
"Nonsense!" I would reply. "They are yours, my dear fellow; I have only added a touch or two here and there."
And Nabin gradually came to believe it.
I will not deny that, with a feeling akin to that of the astronomer gazing into the starry heavens, I did sometimes turn my eyes towards the window of the house next door. It is also true that now and again my furtive glances would be rewarded with a vision. And the least glimpse of the pure light of that countenance would at once still and clarify all that was turbulent and unworthy in my emotions.
But one day I was startled. Could I believe my eyes? It was a hot summer afternoon. One of the fierce and fitful nor"-westers was threatening. Black clouds were ma.s.sed in the north-west corner of the sky; and against the strange and fearful light of that background my fair neighbour stood, gazing out into empty s.p.a.ce. And what a world of forlorn longing did I discover in the far-away look of those l.u.s.trous black eyes! Was there then, perchance, still some living volcano within the serene radiance of that moon of mine?
Alas! that look of limitless yearning, which was winging its way through the clouds like an eager bird, surely sought--not heaven--but the nest of some human heart!
At the sight of the unutterable pa.s.sion of that look I could hardly contain myself. I was no longer satisfied with correcting crude poems.
My whole being longed to express itself in some worthy action. At last I thought I would devote myself to making widow-remarriage popular in my country. I was prepared not only to speak and write on the subject, but also to spend money on its cause.