The spoon descended agonisingly slow in Elya"s eyes, small vibrations running through the utensil and splattering drops of mashed potato on the tray. A gust of air entered through the open window, bringing the chill of night and cries of hawkers winding up their sales, making her shiver. Her mother had once told her the "silence was deafening", when her grandparents were fighting. She"d never understood the phrase until today. Normally vibrant and loquacious to a fault, Nikolai"s quiet stare was even more ominous, deep eyes flickering with something horrifying in their depths. The sort of eyes you"d expect to see in an executioner, indifferent to life and death.Indifferent to people.
Words caught in her throat under that gaze.
"It"s not like I try to hide it." He said suddenly, voice flat, without the slightest hint of emotion.
She squeezed his hand, regretting the question. But there was no way to take it back. She could only continue forwards now. "Alexis told me you had some… troubles… after I was incapacitated."
"You mean I almost called down a storm on the warehouses." Weariness laced his tone, face drawing down in agony. "It"s one thing to look back and realise what you almost did Elya but in the moment nothing matters and you fight with your own Blood for control."
"My grandfather is one as well." She explained and his lips twitched in a sad smile, commiseration in his eyes.
"I don"t know how much he talks about the… Blood." He spat the last word out, nose twitching like he smelled the sewers.
"He doesn"t."
"Foolish question, I guess he wouldn"t. And if I wasn"t clear, yes I am a "True Imperial."" He chuckled, some life coming back to his expression.
"It"s alright Nikolai, I understand." She stroked his hand, staring deep into his eyes to show she wasn"t afraid.
"No Elya, you can"t understand." Frustrated, he pulled his hand loose and strode to the window, slamming it shut so hard the gla.s.s rattled dangerously. "No one can."
Sighing at the sudden shift in mood, Elya curled up within her blankets and stared at his profile. The flickering candle light cast shadows around him, almost alive, seeking to consume all light. His dark hair flowed loosely, ragged and carelessly brushed into place by hand. His chest heaved, and he murmured, lost in memories. Elya sat in silence, not wishing to draw his ire. The fragile Mage was strangely terrifying right now.
"How much do you know about it?" he asked, returning to her side, the darkness suppressed deep within.
"Only what I"ve read in the histories and common stories."
"So the parts about it being a curse because we betrayed the G.o.ds during the Reclamation?"
"Yes."
Tearing some bread with his hands, Nikolai rubbed some sauce on the inside and pa.s.sed it to her, forcing her to take it and eat.
"You need to take more to recover faster." He said, and she agreed, her stomach rumbling shamefully at that moment. Smiling at the sound but making no comment Nikolai continued. Even though it was embarra.s.sing, seeing his relaxed expression returning gave her relief. "The battles of the Reclamation were terrible by all accounts. Magical tools and spells of incomprehensible power capable of threatening even the G.o.ds were common place. Honestly, it doesn"t really matter that we were bound in servitude to the G.o.ds or that they used us as expendable shock troops in their invasions but for whatever reason the First Emperor struck a deal with the last few Illyri Sages that remained." He took a sip of water and Elya chimed in.
"The First Compact. It"s alluded to in many historical texts, although the details are always vague."
"Exactly. There"s a copy that still exists deep within the Son of Heaven"s personal archives which I"ve had the misfortune to glimpse. Leaving out the details, it was a contract which bound the Blood of our Ancestors to renounce our G.o.ds in return for the Illyri spirits aid to break the bonds of servitude."
"The Cleaving." She whispered, listening in rapt fascination as he explained the deepest secrets of their Empire"s founding.
"Yes. The Cleaving." He snickered suddenly and Elya jerked, staring at him wide eyed. "Sorry, just thinking how Historians love giving portentous names to all these events. Seems sort of sn.o.bbish actually."
"They were turning points in History Nikolai." She chided, defending her fellow Historians. The same Historians she"d never spoken to before but it was important to protect their honour as a colleague and Knight.
"Yes Yes. Leaving out the crazy exaggerations and unimportant details, we renounced the G.o.ds and created the schism with the Theocracy. But it"s easier said than done to deal with the Divine. As far as I or others can tell, their counterstroke warped the Compact in some way, turning what was supposed to be a severing of bonds into a compulsion to break forced servitude. At least that"s the most significant aspect of the "curse"."
"So we never renounced our G.o.ds?"
"Oh no, that part worked. Everything seemed to be working fine as our ancestors forced the G.o.ds off this land saving us and the Illyri."
"Imperials are the reason the Illyri are almost extinct. Imperials are the reason the Illyri exist." She quoted in agreement.
"Fallani"s Reflections. Excellent book. The woman had a breadth of vision unmatched in the present day. Nonetheless, those bound by the Compact retain traits of the ancestors, it"s why we"re referred to as True Imperials, but only fragments, not the full suite of abilities."
"What abilities?"
"Our Ancestors were stronger, faster, smarter and held a host of innate magical skills. If you search carefully, you"ll see most Imperial Mages are True Imperials."
"If it was a curse on our Blood why isn"t everyone afflicted? And why are the skills fragmented among people?"
Nikolai looked proud at the questions and held her hand again, lost in the fragments of History.
"Have you seen Heaven"s Spire?"
"The crystal monument rising from the centre of the Imperial Palace? I"ve never been allowed close enough." The thing was so tall the top half could be seen even miles away from the Capital, purple crystal twisting into the sky, like a hand clawing at the Heavens.
"It is said, as the First Emperor lay dying, he cursed the G.o.ds." Nikolai whispered, eyes glittering mysteriously, flashes of purple lightning deep within his pupils taking her breath away. "Their gifts were warped, his greatest descendants falling in crusades to break all bonds, his people dying by the thousands as they clashed against the Theocracy in madness. With his last breath he summoned the Illyri and crafted a great spell, giving his soul to protect the Empire, purging the Compact from his people with a crystal spire to drive away the G.o.ds. He gave his people reason in place of strength, wisdom in place of intelligence, character instead of magic. His soul flickered, and he cried at what he had wrought, taking away our gifts but he could sense the hunger of the G.o.ds, their eyes locked on a vulnerable people. Fearing the worst, he cracked his own great magic, letting some of our gifts remain, fragments of the ancestors divided among the ma.s.ses." His voice trailed off and the power in his eyes slowly faded. "At least, that"s what they say."
Drawing a shuddering breath she tried to shake the images which formed in her mind during the story. His hypnotic recitation made her feel like she"d actually been there and she asked "Is it true?"
"Who knows Elya? I haven"t found any proof either for or against but it fits with the effects I experience and in the end it doesn"t really matter. The G.o.ds lost interest in us long ago, even the Theocracy has trouble contacting them these days and I can"t even tell what boons if any I"m meant to have alongside the curse."
"It doesn"t matter to me Nikolai."
He searched her face looking for something, maybe sincerity or maybe deception. Whatever it was, he smiled and reached out to pat her cheek. "I hope so. I try not to think about it much but my parents are always on edge. Especially after Galicia." Both their faces twisted at the mention of that horrible city.
"You lost control there?"
"I wish. Would that I have such a simple excuse to unburden myself." He refused to comment further, returning to their dinner but neither of them had much appet.i.te now.
"I could really go for an egg right now." Elya mumbled under her breath, picking at the food which seemed so dull in comparison. It was one thing when hunger gnawed at you, but knowing something so tasty existed dampened your mood for anything else. Startled, Nikolai sighed and reached into his shirt, taking out a single hard boiled egg which he placed into her stunned hands.
"You keep boiled eggs on you all the time?" eyebrows twitching, she caressed the egg lovingly.
"A few for snacks." He shrugged.
"How many do you have?"
"Just the one. I gave the rest to Jarek earlier in the day."
Elya"s shoulders slumped but carefully tried to crack the egg. Unfortunately a wave of exhaustion pa.s.sed through her and the egg almost fell from her hands. Seeing her predicament, Nikolai cracked the it open and fed it to her. She closed her eyes and devoured the morsel in quick bites. Lost in the flavour she stuck her tongue out to lick the juices from his fingers and froze, realising what she"d done.
Her eyes fluttered, taking in Nikolai"s red face and shocked expression. His finger reached towards her, gently brushing across her lips, a flush of excitement rushing through her at the touch. She leaned into his hand, letting him run his fingertips gently down her cheek.
He leaned in, breathing raggedly, eyes lit with a deep desire. She grabbed his collar and pulled him closer, almost out of control. A part of her mind reflected how strange this sudden flush of desire was, but all she could feel was the heat of his breath and the flames burning within.
She licked her lips, leaning in and closing her eyes when the door burst open, making them both jerk back in surprise as Natalia wheeled herself in.
"What in the name of the Fates is taking you so long?" she roared, waving her cane dangerously and sending Alexis who"d followed her in scurrying in retreat.
Nikolai cursed under his breath and glared at the woman. Elya"s heart still raced, the touch of his fingers on her lips still burning.
They"d almost… kissed.
Even she wanted to curse her great aunt. The old woman seemed to sense the mood and squinted in their direction.
"You still haven"t done it?" incredulous, Natalia launched into a tirade on taking too long, which turned into a shouting match with Nikolai, who looked like someone had punched him in the gut. Staring at parts of her new family acting like children had Elya struggling for self control. When Natalia managed to clip Nikolai in the leg with her cane, she lost it, exploding in huge bursts of laughter.