"What else?" the spirit jibed. "Humans seek to build, when "tis the way of Nature to fall apart."
"Only in its season," Father Vidicon admonished, "when the time of growth is behind."
"Not so," the Gremlin answered, "if the flaw"s inherent in the newborn creature. Thus only when it doth
come to maturity doth its undoing become manifest."
"And what of those whose flaws emerge before they"re grown?"
The Gremlin shrugged. "Then they never come to the age at which they can build, and only looking
backward can they see a life worth living."
"Thou dost lie, thou rogue," Father Vidicon said sternly, "for that cannot be behind which is before!"
"Oh, so? Hast thou, then, heard never of the Mule?" The Gremlin"s hand did beat upon the keyboard, and
letters of a glowing green did glimmer in the gloaming "fore his face: "boot mule." Father Vidicon did step back with a presentiment of foreboding; then the words did vanish, and beside the Gremlin stood a stocky quadruped, with longish ears laid back, teeth parting in a bray.
"I should have thought," the priest did breathe. "This is the beast most susceptible to thee, for "tis also the
most contrary; when we most wish it to work, it will not."
"All who will not work are with me," the Gremlin answered, "as are those who, in the name of standing firm, give way to stubbornness." He reached out to stroke the beast, and chanted,
"The mule, we find, Hath two legs behind, And two we find before.
We stand behind before we find What the two behind be for."
* * * And the Saint did find the mule"s tail confronting him, and the hooves kicked up and lashed out at his head. But St. Vidicon did bow, and the feet flashed by above. "Affront me not," quoth he, "for I do know this beast hath fallibility."
"Then make use of it," the Gremlin counseled, "for he doth set himself again."
"Twas true, the mule did once again draw up his hooves to kick. Father Vidicon did therefore run around the beast up toward his head.
But, "What"s before, and what"s behind?" the Gremlin cried. "Behold, I give the beast his head, and he
doth lose it! For if we know what that behind be for, then a.s.suredly, what"s behind"s before!"
Father Vidicon did straighten up before the mule"s head-and found it was a tail, with hooves beneath that did lash out.
"Surely in his stubbornness," the Gremlin said, "the mule has lost his head!"
The good priest did shout as he did leap aside, quickly, but not quite quickly enough, and a hoof did
crack upon his shoulder, and pain shot through his whole side. He cried out, but his cry was lost in the
Gremlin"s laughter, which did echo all about.
"Thou canst not escape," the spirit cried with gloating glee, "for if thou dost run around the beast, thou wilt but find what thou hast lost!"
Hooves slashed out again, and the priest did throw himself upon the ground. The mule"s feet whistled through the air above him, then drew back to stand, and began to hobble toward him.
"Come, come!" the Gremlin cried. "Thine heart was ever in thy work! Wouldst thou now lie about and
trouble others? Wouldst thou be underfoot?"
But the priest had scrambled to his feet, a-running, and heard the thunderous echo of galloping hooves behind. At a thought, however, he turned back. "Two backward sets both running must go against each other; they thereby must stand in place!"
a.s.suredly, the poor beast did; for each pair of legs, in leaping forward, did naught but counter the other"s
thrust.
"Let it not trouble thee," the Gremlin counseled, "for I"ve held him close thus far-yet now I"ll give the beast his head!"
Father Vidicon knew then that he had but a moment to draw upon the strength of Him to Whom he was in all ways dedicated; and holding up his hands to Heaven, he did pray, "Good Father, now forgive! That in my pride I did think myself equipped to defeat the Finder of Flaws. Lend me, I pray Thee, some tool that will find and hinder all bugs that this creature doth engender!"
Of a sudden, his hands weighed heavy. Looking there, he found a halter.
A bray recalled him to his conflict, and he saw the mule"s tail grow dim, then harden again to show forequarters topped by a head that did reach out, teeth sharp to bite, as the mule leaped forward.
Father Vidicon shouted and spun aside, flailing at the mule with the halter-and sure enough it caught.
The mule swerved and reared, braying protest, but Father Vidicon did hold fast to reins and turn the mule toward its master, then leaping to its back. Still under the Gremlin"s mandate to attack, it galloped ahead, teeth reaching for its master.
"How now!" the creature screeched, drumming at its keyboard. "How canst thou turn my own artifact
against me?"
The mule disappeared, leaving the saint to plummet toward the floor, the halter still in his hand-but he landed lightly.
"Thou didst expect that fall!" the Gremlin accused. "How couldst thou have known?"
"Why, by preparing "gainst every eventuality," the Saint replied, "then expecting some other malfunction that I could not name, because I had not thought of it."
"Thou dost not mean thou didst expect the unexpected!"
"Surely, for I have always expected thee, since first I learned to program Cobol." The Saint advanced,
holding out the halter. "Know that with my Master"s power, these straps can harness any who their energy expend." Then he advanced, the halter outheld.
"Thou dost speak of those who embody Entropy," the Gremlin protested, and did back away.
" "Tis even so," the Saint replied, "for to live is to expend energy, but to grow is to gain structure."
"You are not fool enough to think to reverse entropy!" the Gremlin cried, still backing.
"Only for some little while," the Saint replied, "but each little while added to another can const.i.tute a lifetime entire."
"Yet in the end your race shall die! In mere billions of years, your sun shall explode, and all will end in
fire! Thus all is futile, all is done in vain, all"s absurd!"
"Yet while life endures, it contradicts absurdity-if it has structure." Father Vidicon relaxed the halter, then swung it at the Gremlin to ensnare.
The Gremlin wailed and winked out as though he"d never been.
Father Vidicon stared at the place where he had been and bethought him somberly, "He is not truly gone, but will recur wheresoever people try to build-for against such as him we struggle to find meaning."
Then he looked down at the halter, contemplating it a moment before he held it high in offering. "O Father, I thank Thee for giving Thine overweening servant the means to banish this Foe of Humankind, no matter how briefly. I return unto Thee the Halter Thou hast lent me to rein in our impulses of self defeat, for the use of which I thank Thee deeply."
For half a minute, then, the halter began to glow, then scintillated as it vanished.
The Blessed One stood alone, reflecting that once again he was unarmed; but he recalled the words of
the psalm and murmured them aloud: " "For Thou, O G.o.d, art my wisdom and my strength." Nay, I shall never lack for defense within this realm, so long as Thou art with me."
So saying, he strode forth once more, further downward in that tunnel, wondering what other foe the
Lord might send him to confront.
As Father Vidicon strode onward down the throat of h.e.l.l, he was resolved to confront whatsoever the Good Lord did oppose to him. Even as he went, the maroon of the walls did darken to purple and farther, till he did pace a corridor of indigo. Then the light itself began to dwindle and to darken, until he groped within a lightless place. Terror did well up within him, turning all his joints to water and sapping strength from every limb, yet he did resolve upon the onward march, rebuked his heart most sternly, and held the fear within its place. He did reach out to brace himself against the wall-yet it was damp and soft and yielding, and did seem to move beneath his palm. He did pull his hand away right quickly and did shudder, and was nigh to losing heart then; yet he did haul his courage up from the depths to which it
had plummeted, and did force his right foot forward, and his left foot then to follow; and thus he onward moved within that h.e.l.lish tunnel.
Then as he went, the floor beneath him did soften, till he did walk upon a yielding surface; and he