stumbled and did fall, and caught himself upon his hands. He did cry aloud, and backward thrust himself with a broken prayer for strength, for that floor had felt as moist and yielding as tissue living. "In truth,"
he muttered, "I walk indeed within the throat of h.e.l.l."
He plucked himself up and pushed himself onward, bowed against the weight of his fear, yet going.
Sudden light did glare, and did sear his eyes, so that he did clench them shut, then did slowly ope, allowing them to accustom themselves to such brightness, whereupon the glare was gone, and Father Vidicon did see a grinning death"s head that did glow there-yet not if its own light, for it was of a pale and sickly green that did shine too brightly for the light to be within. Yet naught else could Father Vidicon see there about him. He did frown, and held his hand before his face; yet he could see it not. "In
sooth," he breathed, "what light is this, that is itself a darkness-what light is this, that doth not thus illuminate? How can light cast darkness?"
The answer came at once within his mind, and he did pull his Roman collar from out its place and did
hold it out before him, to behold it as a strip of glaring bluish-white. "It doth fluoresce!" he cried in triumph, and he knew thereby that light did truly fill the hall, but was of a color that human eyes see not.
Yet his collar, in consequence of the detergent held within it, did transform that color, and did reflect it as a one that human eyes see as glowing.
Father Vidicon replaced his collar then within his shirt with hands that trembled only slightly, and he murmured, "I have, then, come within the land of the Spirit of Paradox." His heart did quail within him, for he knew that the perversities he"d faced ere now were naught indeed when set against the reversals
and inverted convolutions of the Spirit that he soon would face. Yet he bowed his head in prayer and felt his heart did lighten. With a silent thought of thanks, he lifted up his head and set forth again down that gigantic throat. The death"s head pa.s.sed upon his left, and on his right he did behold a skeleton frozen at odd angles, as though it were running and was small, or as though the person were now distant. And onward he did pace, past skulls and crossed bones on his left, and on his right, skeletons in postures that might have been provocative, had they worn flesh-and as they must have been to the Spirit of Paradox. Father Vidicon did pray that he would not behold a being fully-fleshed, for he felt sure that it would lie as one who"s dead.
The pa.s.sage then did curve downward toward his left, past bones and left-hand helices inverted widdershins. A galaxy did reel upon his left; yet the spiral arms were on the rim, and darkness dwelt within its heart, a disc of emptiness. Stars did coalesce upon his right to form a globe elongate, and it did seem as though the universe entire did move backward, and invert.
The throat he paced did upward curve, still bending leftward, and he did hear above him footsteps, that did approach in front, then did recede behind. He frowned up at them, yet still did march ahead, past glowing signs of death in birth, on and on through hallways that did ever curve unto his left. Yet it did begin to once again curve downward also, down and down, a mile or more, till at least, he did behold, upon his left - A grinning death"s head. Father Vidicon stopped and stood stock still. A chill enveloped him, beginning at the hollow of his back and spreading upward to embrace his scalp, for he was certain that this death"s head was the first he had beheld within this sightless tunnel. Then did he bethink him of the footsteps he had heard above his head, and knew with certainty (though he knew not how he knew) that those had been his own footsteps going past this place. They"d seemed inverted for, at the time, he had walked upon the outside of the throat he was now within; yea, now he walked within it once again. "In truth," he whispered, "I do wander a Klein flask." And so it was-a tube that did curve back upon itself, then curved within itself once again, so that he pa.s.sed from inside to outside, then back to inside, all unawares. Aye, forever might he wander this dark hall and never win to any goal except his own point of origin. He might well press onward ageing more and more, till at last he wold stumble through this hall, a weak, enfeebled, ancient spirit. Yet, "Nay," he cried, "for here"s the place of paradox-and as time goes forward, I shall grow younger!" And hard upon the heels of that realization came another: that he might wander where he would yet never find that Spirit within whose throat he wandered-the Spirit that did invest this place.
Or did the place invest the Spirit? "Aye!" he cried in triumph. " "Tis not h.e.l.l"s mouth that I did enter, but Finagle"s!" and his throat was like unto a Klein flask. Therefore, Father Vidicon did set forth again, with heart renewed and fear held in abeyance, to pace onward and onward, downward to his left, then upward left gain, until the wall did fall away beneath his hand and the floor did curve away beneath him. Then he cried in triumph, "I have come without! Nay, Spirit, look upon me-for I have come from out to stand upon thy skin! Nay, behold me!"
A door thundered up scant feet away, nearly knocking him backward with the wind of its pa.s.sage. He did fall back, plunging downward and crying out in fear, flailing about him, near to panic-and his hand caught upon a spoke which did grow from that surface there below. More such spikes caught him, pressing most painfully against him, for their points were sharp; yet he heeded not the pain, but did gaze upward, and did behold a great and glowing baleful eye that did fill all his field of vision.
"Indeed, I see thee now," a great voice rumbled. "May there be praise in censure! I had begun to think I would never have thee out from my system!"
"Nor wilt thou," Father Vidicon did cry in triumph, "for the outside of thy system is the inside! Indeed,
thine inside is thine outside, and thine outside"s inside! They are all one, conjoined in endlessness!"
"Do not carol victory yet," the huge voice rumbled, "for thou dost address Finagle, author of all that doth
twist back upon itself. I am the fearsome spirit that doth invest all paradox, and doth make two aspects of any ent.i.ty separate and opposed as thesis and ant.i.thesis, in Hegelian duality."
"Ah, is it Hegel"s, then?" Father Vidicon did cry; but, "Nay," Finagle rumbled, "for Hegel thus was mine."
"Thou dost afright me not," Father Vidicon did cry. "I know thee well at last! Thou art the bridge from
Tomorrow to Yesterday, for Positive to Negative, from nucleus"s strong force thus to weak! Thou art the
bridge that doth conjoin all those that do appear opposed!"
"Thou hast said it." Finagle"s voice did echo all about him. "And I am thus the Beginning and the End of all. Bow down and adore me, for I am He whom thou dost call thy Lord!"
"Thou art not!" the Saint did cry, and righteous wrath arose within him. "Nay, thou art a part of Him, as
are we all-yet but a part! Thou must needs therefore be within His limit and control."
"Art thou so certain, then?" The great eye did narrow in anger. "For an I were the Beginning and the Ending joined, how could I lie?"
"Why, for that," Father Vidicon replied, "thou art the Spirit of all Paradox, and canst speak true words in
such a way that they express mistruth! Thus thou dost lie by speaking sooth!""
"Thou hast too much of comprehension for my liking," Finagle then did rumble. "Ward thee, priest! For I must annihilate thy soul!"
Light seared, and did shock the darkness, turning all to fire, lancing the good Saint"s...o...b.. sightless with light. He did clap his palms over them, and closed them tightly-yet the light remained. Recalling then that he was within the Paradox of Lands, he did ope his eyes to slits, and the little light admitted did darken dazzle, till the Saint could once again distinguish form and detail.
He beheld a gigantic, fiery bird that did drift up from ashes, its wings widespread and cupped for hovering, beak reaching out to slash at him. Then terror struck the priest"s stout heart, and he grasped the spikes that held him kneeling on Finagle"s flesh and, throwing back his head, did cry, "Oh Father! Hear me now, or I must perish! Behold thy servant, kneeling here in helplessness, beset by that dread raptor called the Phoenix, in whom resides vast power, for in its end doth it begin! Give me now, I pray thee, some shield, some weapon here for my defense, or I must perish quite! Even the last shreds of my soul must be transformed and subsumed into pure, unmodulated energy devoid of structure, and that fearsome predator doth smite me!"
He held up hands in supplication-and light did glare within his palm, pulling back and pulling in,
imploding, gathering together, coalescing-and the Saint did hold an Egg of Light!
Then did the Spirit"s vasty laugh fill all the Universe, bellowing in triumphant joy, "Nay, foolish priest!
For all thy pleas to thy Creator, nothing more than this hath he to give thee! An egg-and thou wouldst oppose it "gainst the bird full-flown! Now yield thee up, for thou must perish!"
But, "Not so," the Saint did cry, "for I know thee well, and know that when thou most doth laugh, thou
art most in dread-and when thou dost most gloat on victory, thou art most in terror of defeat. Thou must needs be, for to thy Phoenix grown out of an ending, I do bring a beginning that must needs bear its death!"
Then he did rise, that he might face the greatest peril of his existence upright and courageous; and he
held the Egg out in his two hands cupped, as though it were an offering.
The Phoenix screamed, and fiery wings beat downward to surround him. The beak of flame seared toward him, like unto a laser; and he bore himself bravely, but felt his spirit quail within him. Fire did surround him on every side, closer then and closer-and the Spirit of pure energy did envelop him and did sink in upon him . . .
And inward pa.s.sed him. The heat of that pa.s.sing did sear his face, and he closed his eyes against it. Cool breath then touched his cheek and, opening his eyes, he saw the bird, shrunken now unto a hand"s breadth, shrinking still, diminishing and growing smaller. Its despairing cry did pierce his ears and heart; for as it shrank, it sank. The Egg absorbed all flame and every erg of energy, until the phoenix"s head did shrink at last within the sh.e.l.l. There it sat, glowing within Father Vidicon"s cupped palms, brighter and more pure than e"er it had been.
The priest breathed a sigh and cried, "All praise be to Thee, my Lord, who hath saved me from the
mountain of the Light of Death."
Then the dazzle faded from his eyes, and again he saw that huge orb, still glinting balefully upon him.
"How now, then, priest," Finagle"s voice did rumble. "Thou hast defeated my most puissant servant.
What shalt thou, therefore, do with me?" His voice did sneer. "Shalt thou now annihilate me? Nay, do so-for then thy race shall be free of this urge to self-defeat that doth invest them!"
Fathomless tranquility enveloped the priest. "Nay," quoth he, "for I cannot make thee cease to exist, nor can any-for thou art part of G.o.d, as are we all, and thou art spirit-the Spirit of fell Paradox. Nay, tempt me not to hubris, arrogance-for I do know that, did I eliminate thee, thou wouldst turn even that about, and make of it Creation. Thus wouldst thou blaspheme-for none can create, save G.o.d. Thou wouldst not die, but wouldst simply change thy form-and "tis better to have thee as thou art, so that we know thine appearance. Go thy ways-thou art a necessary part of existence."
"So, then." And the huge voice ran with disappointment quite profound-nay, almost with despair.
"Thus thou wilt let me live."
But Father Vidicon knew that when the spirit of Paradox did seem desperate, it was in truth triumphant.
"Be not so proud," he did admonish it, "for thou art even now within the hand of G.o.d, and "tis that which he hath proven though me-that even thou canst be comprehended, and accepted within a person"s harmony of being. Thus thine urge to self-defeat can be transformed to growth. Thou wilt ever be with Adam"s breed, fell Spirit, and with Eve"s-but never again need any man or woman fear thee. For they will know thou art as much a part of the world about them as the rain and wind, and as much of the world within them as the urge to charity."
"So thou dost say," the spirit rumbled, "yet doth that not make a mockery of thy victory? Dost thou not see that I have triumphed finally? What shalt thou do, with that Phoenix thou hast at long last slain by bringing within the scope of Birth? Wilt thou then destroy it, and with it, all beginnings?"
The priest then shook his head. "Nay; for "tis not mine to do with any wise. I must surrender it unto its Source." Then he cried, "Oh, Father! I give thee now thine Egg of Rebirth, with all the thanks and praise that I do own-thanks that thou hast preserved me, but more-that thou hast deemed me worthy to
become Thine instrument for this restarting!" He thrust the Egg up high, an offering there within his hands, and it rose above his palms and arced upward, and farther upward and farther, and Father Vidicon did cry out, "See! This is the Egg of All, the Cosmic Egg, the Mon.o.bloc!"
Then at its zenith did the Egg explode, filling all that emptiness with light, searing all the Void with its seeding of Energy and Matter, fulfilling all with the Cosmic Dust and with it, the structure of Time and s.p.a.ce, thus bringing Order out from Chaos.
And Father Vidicon did rise within it, like to a flaring candle, for flame surrounded him transcendent and unburning; and thus did he ascend through s.p.a.ce and Time, unto the Mind of G.o.d.
The Elf House
An Isles Story David Drake Cashel didn"t need to carry his quarterstaff in the corridors of the Vicar"s palace-what"d been the Count of Haft"s place till Prince Garric arrived the week before-but he was more comfortable holding the smooth, familiar hickory than he"d be otherwise. He didn"t dislike big buildings, but he disliked being in them; and this palace had a nasty feel all its own.
Besides, the staff had been a friend in places where Cashel had no other friends. He wouldn"t feel right
about leaving it alone in the huge suite a.s.signed to him while he went off to dinner with Garric in the roof garden. If the servants, officials, and the amazing number of other people crowding the palace stared at him, well, a man as big as Cashel or-Kenset was used to being stared at whether he carried a quarterstaff or not.
For a wonder there wasn"t anybody around at the moment. Cashel sauntered down the hall looking at the cherub mural painted just above shoulder level. In the dim light through the transoms of the rooms to either side, there was something new to catch every time he pa.s.sed.
Cashel started to grin at the little fellow with his wings spread as he struggled to lead a goat who didn"t