Mattie:--A Stray.
Vol 3.
by Frederick William Robinson.
BOOK VI.
SIDNEY"S FRIENDS.
CHAPTER I.
MATTIE"S CHOICE.
There are epochs in some lives when the heart cracks or hardens. When humanity, wrung to its utmost, gives way, or ossifies. Both are dangerous crises, and require more than ordinary care; the physician must be skilful and understand human nature, or his efforts at cure will only kill the patient who submits to his remedies.
Man--we speak literally of the masculine gender at this point--though born unto trouble, finds it hard to support in a philosophical way. A great trouble that in nine cases out of ten shows woman at her best, transforms man to his worst; if he be a man of the world, worldly, he is dumbfounded by the calamity which has fallen upon him. It is incomprehensible why _he_ should suffer--he of all men--and he wraps himself in his egotism--his wounded self-love--and thinks of the injustice and hardness that have shut him out from his labours.
Such men, heavily oppressed, do not give in to the axiom, that it is well for them to be afflicted; they will not bow to G.o.d"s will, or resign themselves to it--their outward calmness is a.s.sumed, and they chafe at the Great Hand which has arrested them midway. Such men will turn misanthropes and atheists, at times.
Sidney Hinchford after all was a man of the world. In the world he had lived and fought upwards. There had been a charm in making his way in it, and the obstacles ahead had but nerved his arm to resist, and his heart to endure. He had talents for success in the commercial world--even a genius for making money. With time before him, possibly Sidney Hinchford would have risen to greatness.
To make money--and to keep it when made--requires as much genius as to make poetry, rather more, perhaps. A genius of a different order, but a very fine one notwithstanding, and one which we can admire at a distance--on the kerb stones with our ma.n.u.scripts under our arms, waiting for the genius"s carriage to pa.s.s, before we cross to our publishers". Is not that man a genius who in these latter days rises to wealth by his own exertions, in lieu of having wealth thrust upon him? A genius, with wondrous powers of discrimination, not to be led into a bad thing, but seeing before other people the advantages to accrue from a good one, and making his investments accordingly. A man who peers into the future and beholds his own advancement, not the step before him, but the apex in the clouds, lost to less keen-sighted folk fighting away at the base--therefore, a wonderful man.
We believe that Sidney Hinchford, like his uncle before him, would have risen in the world; he believed it also, and throughout his past career--though we have seen him anxious--he never lost his hope of ultimate success. When he knew that there must come a period of tribulation and darkness for him, he had trusted to have time left him for position; and not till time was denied him, and the darkness set in suddenly, did he give up the battle. And then he did not give way; he hardened.
Sidney had never been a religious man, therefore he sought no consolation in his affliction, and believed not in the power of religion to console. He had been pure-minded, honourable, earnest, everything that makes the good worldly man, but he had never been grateful to G.o.d for his endowments, and he bore G.o.d"s affliction badly in consequence.
He felt balked in his endeavour to prosper, therefore, aggrieved, and the darkness that had stolen over his senses seemed to find its way to his heart and transform him.
The clergyman, who had attended his father, attempted consolation with him, but he would have "none of it." He did not complain, he said; he had faced the worst--it was with him, and there was an end of it. Do not weary him with trite bible-texts, but leave him to himself.
And by himself he sat down to brood over the inevitable wrong that had been done him; he, in the vigour of life and thought, shut apart from action! Once he had looked forward to a consolation even in distress, but that was to have been a long day hence. Now his day had been shortened, and the consolation was denied him. He knew that _that_ was lost, and he had thought of a fight with the world to benumb the thoughts of the future; and then the world was shut away from him also, and he was broken down, inactive and lost.
He and his uncle were the only attendants at the funeral; he was informed afterwards that Mattie had stood at the grave"s edge, and seen the last of her old friend and first patron; then his uncle had left him, failing in all efforts to console him. Geoffry Hinchford offered his nephew money, all the influence at his disposal in any way or shape, but Sidney declined all coldly. He did not require help yet awhile, he had saved money; he preferred being left to himself in that desolate home; presently, when he had grown reconciled to these changes, he should find courage to think what was best; meanwhile, those who loved him--he even told Mattie that--would leave him to himself.
Mattie made no effort to intrude upon him in the early days following the double loss; she was perplexed as to her future course, her method of fulfilling that promise made to Sidney"s father on his death-bed. Her common sense a.s.sured her that in the first moments of sorrow, intrusion would be not only unavailing, but irritating--and her belief in becoming of service to Sidney was but a small one at the best. In the good, far-away time she might be a humble agent in bringing Harriet Wesden and him together; Harriet who must love him out of very pity now, and forget that wounded pride which had followed the annulment of engagement.
Meanwhile, she remained quiet and watchful; busy at her dress-making, busy in her father"s home, attentive to that new father whom she had found, and who was very kind to her, though he scarcely seemed to understand her. Still, they agreed well together, for Mattie was submissive, and Mr. Gray had more than a fair share of his own way; and he was a man who liked his own way, and with whom it agreed vastly. But we have seen that he was a jealous man, and that Mattie"s interest in Mr. Wesden had discomfited him. He was a good man we know, but jealousy got the upper hand of him at times, when he was scarcely aware of it himself, for he attributed his excitement, perhaps his envy, to very different feelings. He was even jealous of a local preacher of his own denomination, a man who had made a convert of a most vicious article--an article that he had been seeking all his life, and had never found in full perfection.
Mr. Gray over his work said little concerning Ann Packet"s occasional visits to his domicile, but he objected to them notwithstanding, for they drew his daughter"s attention away from himself. He liked still less Mattie"s visits to Chesterfield Terrace--flying visits, when she saw Ann Packet for an hour and Sidney Hinchford for a minute, looking in at the last moment, and heralded by Ann exclaiming,
"Here"s Mattie come to see you, sir."
"Ah, Mattie!" Sid would answer, turning his face towards the door whence the voice issued, and attempting the feeblest of smiles.
"Is there anything that I can do, sir, for you?"
"No, girl, thank you."
He would quickly relapse into that thought again, from which her presence had aroused him--and it was a depth of thought upon which the fugitive efforts of Mattie had no effect. Standing in the shadowy doorway she would watch him for awhile, then draw the door to after her and go away grieving at the change in him.
The thought occurred to her that Harriet Wesden might even at that early stage work some amount of good until she heard from Ann Packet that Harriet and her father had called one day, and that Sidney had refused an interview. He was unwell; some other day when he was better; it was kind to call, but he could not be seen then, had been his excuses sent out by the servant maid. Mattie, who had always found time do good, and work many changes, left the result to time, until honest Ann one evening, when Mr. Gray was at work at his old post, a.s.serted her fears that Sidney was getting worse instead of better.
"I think he"ll go melancholic mad like, poor dear," she said; "and it"s no good my trying to brighten him a bit--he"s wus at that, which is nat"ral, not being in my line, and wanting brightening up myself. He does nothing but brood, brood, brood, sitting of a heap all day in that chair!"
"A month since his father died now," said Mattie, musing.
"To the very day, Mattie."
"He goes to church--you read the Bible to him?" asked Mr. Gray, suddenly.
"He can"t go by hisself--he"s not very handy with his blindness, like those who have been brought up to it with a dog and a tin mug," said Ann in reply; "but let"s hope he"ll get used to it, and find it a comfort to him, sir."
"I asked you also, young woman, if you ever read the Bible to him?"
"Lor bless you, sir! I can"t read fit enough for him--I take a blessed lot of spelling with it, and it aggravates him. All the larning I"ve ever had, has come from this dear gal of ours, and _he_ taught her first of all!"
"I think that I could do this young man good," said Mr. Gray, suddenly; "I might impress him with the force of the truth--_convert him_."
"I would not attempt to preach to him yet," suggested Mattie; "besides, his is a strange character--you will never understand it."
"You cannot tell what I may be able to understand," he replied, "and I see that my duty lies in that direction. I have been seeking amongst the poor and wretched for a convert, and perhaps it is nearer home--your friend!"
"I would not worry him in his distress," suggested Mattie anew.
"Worry him!--Mattie, you shock me! Where"s my Bible?--I"ll go at once!"
"We"ve got Bibles in the house, sir--we"re not cannibals," snapped Ann.
Cannibals and heathens were of the same species to Ann Packet.
"Come on, then!"
Mattie half rose, as if with the intention of accompanying her father, but he checked the movement.
"I hope you will remain at home to-night, Mattie," he said; "I never like the house entirely left. It"s not business."
Mattie sat down again. She was fidgety at the result of this impromptu movement on her father"s part, but saw no way to hinder it. Her father was a man who meant well, but well-meaning men would not do for Sidney Hinchford. Sidney had been well educated; his father was self-taught, and brusque, and Sidney had grown very irritable. In her own little conceited heart she believed that no one could manage Sidney Hinchford save herself. Late in the evening, Mr. Gray returned in excellent spirits, rubbing one hand over the other complacently. He had found a new specimen worthy of his powers of conversion.
"Have you seen him?" asked Mattie.
"To be sure--I went to see him, and he could not keep me out of the room, if I chose to enter. An obstinate young man--as obstinate a young man as I ever remember to have met with in all my life!"
"Did he speak to you?"
"Only twice, once to ask how you were. The second time to tell me that he did not require any preaching to. After that, I read the Bible to him for an hour, locking the door first, to make sure that he did not run for it, blind as he was. Then I gave him the best advice in my power, bade him good night, and came away. He is as hard as the nether millstone; it will be a glorious victory over the devil to touch his heart and soften it!"