Life"s Progress Through The Pa.s.sions.
by Eliza Fowler Haywood.
INTRODUCTION.
I have often heard it observed by the readers of biography, that the characters are generally too high painted; and that the _good_ or _bad_ qualities of the person pretended to be faithfully represented, are displayed in stronger colours than are to be found in nature. To this the lovers of hyperbole reply, that _virtue_ cannot be drawn too beautiful, nor _vice_ too deformed, in order to excite in us an ambition of imitating the _one_, and a horror at the thoughts of becoming any way like the _other_.--The argument at first, indeed, seems to have some weight, as there is nothing, not even precept itself, which so greatly contributes whether to rectify or improve the mind, as the prevalence of example: but then it ought to be considered, that if the pattern laid down before us, is so altogether angelic, as to render it impossible to be copied, emulation will be in danger of being swallowed up in an unprofitable admiration; and, on the other hand, if it appears so monstrously hideous as to take away all apprehensions of ever resembling it, we might be too apt to indulge ourselves in errors which would seem small in comparison with those presented to us.--There never yet was any one man, in whom all the _virtues_, or all the _vices_, were summed up; for, though reason and education may go a great way toward curbing the pa.s.sions, yet I believe experience will inform, even the _best_ of men, that they will sometimes launch out beyond their due bounds, in spite of all the care can be taken to restrain them; nor do I think the very _worst_, and most wicked, does not feel in himself, at some moments, a propensity to good, though it may be possible he never brings it into practice; at least, this was the opinion of the antients, as witness the poet"s words:
All men are born with seeds of _good_ and _ill_; And each shoot forth, in more or less degree: _One_ you may cultivate with care and skill, But from the _other_ ne"er be wholly free.
The human mind may, I think, be compared to a chequer-work, where light and shade appear by turns; and in proportion as either of these is most conspicuous, the man is alone worthy of praise or censure; for none there are can boast of being wholly bright.
I believe by this the reader will be convinced he must not expect to see a faultless figure in the hero of the following pages; but to remove all possibility of a disappointment on that score, I shall farther declare, that I am an enemy to all _romances_, _novels_, and whatever carries the air of them, tho" disguised under different appellations; and as it is a _real_, not _fict.i.tious_ character I am about to present, I think myself obliged, for the reasons I have already given, as well as to gratify my own inclinations, to draw him such as he was, not such as some sanguine imaginations might with him to have been.
I flatter myself, however, that _truth_ will appear not altogether void of charms, and the adventures I take upon me to relate, not be less pleasing for being within the reach of probability, and such as might have happened to any other as well as the person they did.--Few there are, I am pretty certain, who will not find some resemblance of himself in one part or other of his life, among the many various and surprizing turns of fortune, which the subject of this little history experienced, as also be reminded in what manner the pa.s.sions operate in every stage of life, and how far the const.i.tution of the _outward frame_ is concerned in the emotions of the _internal faculties_.
These are things surely very necessary to be considered, and when they are so, will, in a great measure, abate that unbecoming vehemence, with which people are apt to testify their admiration, or abhorrence of actions, which it very often happens would lose much of their _eclat_ either way, were the secret springs that give them motion, seen into with the eyes of philosophy and reflection.
But this will be more clearly understood by a perusal of the facts herein contained, from which I will no longer detain in the attention of my reader.
BOOK the First.
CHAP. I.
Shews, in the example of Natura, how from our very birth, the pa.s.sions, to which the human soul is incident, are discoverable in us; and how far the organs of sense, or what is called the const.i.tution, has an effect over us.
The origin of Natura would perhaps require more time to trace than the benefit of the discovery would attone for: it shall therefore suffice to say, that his ancestors were neither of the highest rank:--that if no extraordinary action had signalized the names of any of them, so none of them had been guilty of crimes to entail infamy on their posterity: and that a moderate estate in the family had descended from father to son for many generations, without being either remarkably improved or embezzled.--His immediate parents were in very easy circ.u.mstances, and he being their first son, was welcomed into the world with a joy usual on such occasions.--I never heard that any prodigies preceded or accompanied his nativity; or that the planets, or his mother"s cravings during her pregnancy, had sealed him with any particular mark or badge of distinction: but have been well a.s.sured he was a fine boy, sucked heartily of his mother"s milk, and what they call a thriving child. His weaning, I am told, was attended by some little ailments, occasioned by his pining after the food to which he had been accustomed; but proper means being found to make him lose the memory of the breast, he soon recovered his flesh, increased in strength, and could go about the room at a year and some few months old, without the help of a leading-string.
Hitherto the pa.s.sions, those powerful abettors, I had almost said sole authors of all human actions, operated but faintly, and could shew themselves only in proportion to the vigour of the animal frame. Yet latent as they are, an observing eye may easily discover them in each of their different propensities, even from the most early infancy. The eyes of Natura on any new and pleasing object, would denote by their sparkling a sensation of joy:--_Fear_ was visible in him by clinging to his nurse, and endeavouring to bury himself as it were in her bosom, at the sound of menaces he was not capable of understanding:--That _sorrow_ has a place among the first emotions of the soul, was demonstrable by the sighs which frequently would heave his little heart, long before it was possible for him either to know or to imagine any motives for them:--That the seeds of _avarice_ are born with us, by the eagerness with which he catched at money when presented to him, his clinching it fast in his hand, and the reluctance he expressed on being deprived of it:--That _anger_, and impatience of controul, are inherent to our nature, might be seen in his throwing down with vehemence any favourite toy, rather than yield to resign it; and that spite and revenge are also but too much so, by his putting in practice all such tricks as his young invention could furnish, to vex any of the family who had happened to cross him:--Even those tender inclinations, which afterwards bear the name of _amorous_, begin to peep out long before the difference of s.e.x is thought on; as Natura proved by the preference he gave the girls over the boys who came to play with him, and his readiness to part with any thing to them.
In a word, there is not one of all the various emotions which agitate the breast in maturity, that may not be discerned almost from the birth, _hope_, _jealousy_, and _despair_ excepted, which, tho" they bear the name in common with those other more natural dispositions of the mind, I look upon rather as consequentials of the pa.s.sions, and arising from them, than properly pa.s.sions themselves: but however that be, it is certain, that they are altogether dependant on a fixation of ideas, reflection, and comparison, and therefore can have no entrance in the soul, or at least cannot be awakened in it, till some degree of knowledge is attained.
Thus do the dispositions of the _infant_ indicate the future _man_; and though we see, in the behaviour of persons when grown up, so vast a difference, yet as all children at first act alike, I think it may be reasonably supposed, that were it not for some change in the const.i.tution, an equal similitude of will, desires, and sentiments, would continue among us through maturity and old age; at least I am perfectly perswaded it would do so, among all those who are born in the same climate, and educated in the same principles: for whatever may be said of a great genius, and natural endowments, there is certainly no real distinction between the _soul_ of the man of _wit_ and the _ideot_; and that disproportion, which we are apt to behold with so much wonder, is only in fact occasioned by some or other of those innumerable and hidden accidents, which from our first coming into the world, in a more or less degree, have, an effect upon the organs of sense; and they being the sole ca.n.a.ls through which the spirit shews itself, according as they happen to be extended, contracted, or obstructed, the man must infallibly appear.
CHAP. II.
Contains some proofs by what swift degrees the pa.s.sions gain an ascendant over the mind, and grow up in proportion with our reason.
Natura had no sooner quitted the nursery, than he was put under the direction of the school, to which at first he was every day conducted either by a man or maid-servant; but when thought big enough to be trusted alone, would frequently play the truant, for which he generally received the discipline necessary on such occasions.--He took his learning notwithstanding as well as could be expected;--he had read the testament through at five years old, about seven was put into Latin, and began the rudiments of Greek before he had attained the age of nine.
As his understanding increased, the pa.s.sions became stronger in proportion: and here is to be observed the wonderful wisdom of nature, or rather of the Great Author of nature, in the formation of the human system, that the pa.s.sions given to us, especially those of the worst sort, are, for the most part, such opposites, that the one is a sufficient check upon the other.--The _pride_ of treating those beneath us with contempt, is restrained by the _fear_ of meeting the same usage from those above us.--A _sordid covetousness_ is controlled by _ostentation_.--_Sloth_ is roused by _ambition_, and so of the rest.--I have been told that when Natura, by the enticements of his companions, and his own eagerness to pursue the sports suitable to his years, had been drawn in to neglect his studies, he had often ran home on a sudden, and denied himself both food and sleep, till he had not only finished the task a.s.signed him by his school-master, but also exceeded what was expected from him, instigated by the ambition of praise, and hope of being removed to a higher form.--But at other times again his love of play has rendered him totally forgetful of every thing besides, and all emulation in him absorbed in pleasure.--Thus hurried, as the different propensities prevailed, from one extreme to the other;--never in a medium, but always doing either more or less than was required of him.
In like manner was his _avarice_ moderated by his _pity_;--an instance of which was this;--One morning having won at chuck-farthing, or some such game, all the money a poor boy was master of, and which he said had been given him to buy his breakfast, Natura was so much melted at his tears and complaints, that he generously returned to him the whole of what he had lost.--Greatly is it to be wished, the same sentiments of compa.s.sion would influence some of riper years, and make them scorn to take the advantage chance sometimes affords of ruining their fellow-creatures; but the misfortune is, that when we arrive at the state of perfect manhood, the _worst_ pa.s.sions are apt to get the better of the more _n.o.ble_, as the prospect they present is more alluring to the eye of sense: all men (as I said before) being born with the same propensities, it is _virtue_ alone, or in other words, a strict _morality_, which prevents them from actuating alike in all.--But to return to the young Natura.
He was scarce ten years old when his mother died; but was not sensible of the misfortune he sustained by the loss of her, though, as it afterwards proved, was the greatest could have happened to him: the remembrance of the tenderness with which she had used him, joined to the sight of all the family in tears, made him at first indeed utter some bitter lamentations; but the thoughts of a new suit of mourning, a dress he had never yet been in, soon dissipated his grief, and the sight of himself before the great gla.s.s, in a habit so altogether strange, and therefore pleasing to him, took off all anguish for the sad occasion.--So early do we begin to be sensible of a satisfaction in any thing that we imagine is an advantage to our persons, or will make us be taken notice of.--How it grows up with us, and how difficult it is to be eradicated, I appeal even to those of the most sour and cynical disposition.
Mr. Dryden admirably describes this propensity in human nature in these lines:
Men are but children of a larger growth, Our appet.i.tes as p.r.o.ne to change as theirs, And full as craving too, and full as vain.
A fondness for trifles is certainly no less conspicuous in age than youth; and we daily see it among persons of the best understanding, who wholly neglect every essential to real happiness in the pursuit of those very toys which children cry to be indulged in; even such as a bit of ribband, or the sound of a monosyllable tacked to the name; without considering that those badges of distinction, like bells about an ideot"s neck, frequently serve only to render their folly more remarkable, and expose them to the contempt of the lookers on, who perhaps too, as nature is the same in all, want but the same opportunity to catch no less eagerly at the tawdry gewgaw.
Natura felt not the loss of his dear mother, till he beheld another in her place. His father entered into a second marriage before much more than half his year of widowhood was expired, with a lady, who, though pretty near his equal in years, had yet remains enough of beauty to render her extremely vain and affected, and fortune enough to make her no less proud.--These two qualities occasioned Natura many rebuffs, to which he had not been acoustomed, and he felt them the more severely, as the name of mother had made him expect the same proofs of tenderness from this, who had the t.i.tle, as he had remembered to have received from her who had been really so.
He endeavoured at first to insinuate himself into her favour by all those little flattering artifices which are so becoming in persons of his tender years, and which never fail to make an impression on a gentle and affable disposition; but finding his services not only rejected, but also rejected with scorn and moroseness, his spirit was too great to continue them for any long time; and all the a.s.siduity he had shewn to gain her good-will, was on a sudden converted into a behaviour altogether the reverse: he was sure to turn the deaf ear to all the commands she laid upon him, and so far from doing any thing to please her, he seemed to take a delight in vexing her. This occasioning many complaints to his father, drew on him very severe chastis.e.m.e.nts both at home and abroad; but though while the smart remained, he made many promises of amendment in this point, the hatred he had now conceived against her, would not suffer him to keep them.
His sister, who was five years older than himself, and a girl of great prudence, took a good deal of pains to convince him how much it was both his interest and his duty to pay all manner of respect to a lady whom their father had thought fit to set over them; but all she could say on that head was thrown away, and he still replied, that since he could not make her love him, he should always hate her.
This young lady had perhaps no less reason than her brother to be dissatisfied with the humour of their stepmother; and it was only the tender affection she had for him which made her feign a contentment at the treatment both of them received, in order to keep him within any manner of bounds.
It may be reckoned among the misfortunes of Natura, that he so soon lost the benefit of these kind remonstrances: his fair adviser having a considerable fortune, independent on her father, left her by a grandmother, who had also answered for her at the _font_, was courted by a gentleman, to whom neither herself nor family having any thing to object, she became a bride in a very few months, and went with her husband to a seat he had at a considerable distance in the country.
This poor youth was now without any one, either to prevent him from doing a fault, or to conceal it when committed; on the contrary, his mother-in-law, having new-modelled all the family, and retained only such servants as thought it their duty to study nothing but to humour her, every little error in him was exaggerated, and he was represented to his father as incorrigible, perverse, and all that is disagreeable in nature.
I will not take upon me to determine whether, or not, the old gentleman had altogether so ill an opinion of his son, as they endeavoured to inspire him with; but it is certain, that whatever his thoughts were on the matter, he found himself obliged for a quiet life to use him with a good deal of severity, which, either because he believed it unjust, or that it was disagreeable to his own disposition, he grew very weary of in a short time, and to put an end to it, resolved to send the child to a boarding-school, tho" he had always declared against that sort of education, and frequently said, that though these great schools might improve the learning, they were apt to corrupt the morals of youth.
Finding himself, however, under a kind of necessity for so doing, nothing remained but the choice of a convenient place. The wife proposed some part of Yorkshire, not only as the cheapest, but also that by reason of the distance, she should not have the trouble of him at home in the holidays; but to this it was not in her power to prevail on his father to consent, and after many disputes between them on it, Eton was at length pitched upon.
Natura heard of his intended removal with a perfect indifference:--if the thoughts of parting from his father gave him any pain, it was balanced by those of being eased of the persecuting of his stepmother; but when all things were prepared for his journey, in which he was to be accompanied by an old relation, who was to give the necessary charge with him to those into whose care he should be committed, he was taken suddenly ill on the very day he had been to take leave of his kindred, and other friends in town.
His distemper proved to be the small-pox, but being of a very favourable sort, he recovered in a short time, and lost nothing of his handsomeness by that so-much-dreaded enemy to the face: there remained, however, a little redness, which, till intirely worn off, it was judged improper he should be sent where it was likely there might be many young gentlemen, who having never experienced the same, would take umbrage at the sight.
During the time of his indisposition he had been attended by an old nurse, who had served in the same quality to his mother, and several others of her family.--The tenderness this good creature shewed to him, and the care she took to humour him in every thing, not only while he continued in a condition, in which it might have been dangerous to have put his spirits into the least agitation, but after he was grown well enough to walk abroad, had made him become extremely pettish and self-willed; which shews, that an over-indulgence to youth, is no less prejudicial, than too much austerity.--Happy is it for those who are brought up in a due proportion between these two extremes; for as nature will be apt to fall into a dejection, if pressed down with a constant, and uninterrupted severity, so it will infallibly become arrogant and a.s.suming, if suffered always to pursue its own dictates.--Nothing is more evident, than that most of the irregularities we see practised in the world, are owing originally to a want of the medium I have been speaking of, in forming the mind while it is pliable to impression.
This was not, however, the case of Natura; and though he would doubtless have been what we call a spoiled child, had he been for any length of time permitted to do just what he pleased, yet the nurse being discharged, he fell again under the jurisdiction of his mother-in-law, who had now more excuse than ever for treating him with severity.
His father did not want understanding, but was a good deal more indolent than befits a parent.--He had always been accustomed to live at ease, and his natural aversion to all kinds of trouble, made him not inspect into the manners or temperament of his son, with that care he ought to have done. Whenever any complaints were made concerning his behaviour, he would chide, and sometimes beat him, but seldom examined how far he really merited those effects rather of others resentment than his own. Sometimes he would ask him questions on his progress in learning, and praise or dispraise, as he found occasion; but he never discoursed with him on any other topics, nor took any pleasure in instructing him in such things as are not to be taught in schools, but which much more contribute to enlarge the mind; so that had not Natura"s own curiosity led him to examine into the sources, first causes, and motives of what he was obliged to read, he would have reaped no other benefit from his Greek and Latin authors, than meerly the knowledge of their language.
Here I cannot help taking notice, that whatever inconveniences it may occasion, curiosity is one of the greatest advantages we receive from nature; it is that indeed from which all our knowledge is derived.--Were it not for this propensity in ourselves, the sun, the moon, and all the darling constellations which adorn the hemisphere, would roll above our heads in vain: contented to behold their shine, and feel their warmth, but ignorant of their motion and influence on all beneath, half that admiration due to the Divine Architect, would lye dormant in us.--Did not curiosity excite us to examine into the nature of vegetables, their amazing rise, their progress, their deaths and resurrections in the seasons allotted for these alternatives, we should enjoy the fruits of the earth indeed, but enjoy them only in common with the animals that feed upon it, or perhaps with less relish than they do, as it is agreed their organs of sensation have a greater share of poignancy than ours.--What is it but _curiosity_ which renders study either pleasing or profitable to us?--The facts we read of would soon slip through the memory, or if they retained any place in it, could be of little advantage, without being acquainted with the motives which occasioned them. By _curiosity_ we _examine_, by _examining_ we _compare_, and by _comparing_ we are alone enabled to form a right _judgment_, whether of things or persons.
We are told indeed of many jealousies, discontents, and quarrels, which have been occasioned by this pa.s.sion, among those who might otherwise have lived in perfect harmony; and a man or woman, who has the character of being too inquisitive, is shunned as dangerous to society.--But what commendable quality is there that may not be perverted, or what _virtue_ whose extreme does not border on a _vice_?--Even _devotion_ itself should have its bounds, or it will launch into _bigotry_ and _enthusiasm_;--_love_, the most _generous_ and _gentle_ of all the pa.s.sions, when ill-placed, or unprescribed, degenerates into the very _worst_;--_justice_ may be pursued till it becomes _cruelty_;--_emulation_ indulged till it grows up to _envy_;--_frugality_ to the most sordid _avarice_; and _courage_ to a brutal _rashness_;--and so I am ready to allow that _curiosity_, from whence all the _good_ in us originally arises, may also be productive of the _greatest mischiefs_, when not, like every other emotion of the soul, kept within its due limits, and suffered to exert itself only on warrantable objects.
It should therefore be the first care of every one to regulate this propensity in himself, as well as of those under whose tuition he may happen to be, whether parents or governors.--Nature, and the writings of learned men, who from time to time have commented on all that has happened in nature, certainly afford sufficient matter to gratify the most enquiring mind, without descending to such mean trifling inquisitions, as can no way improve itself, and may be of prejudice to others.
I have dwelt the longer on this head, because it seems to me, that on the _well_, or _ill direction_ of that curiosity, which is inherent to us all, depends, in a great measure, the peace and happiness of society.
Natura, like all children, uncirc.u.mscribed by precept, had not only a desire of prying into those things which it was his advantage to know, but also into those which he had much better have been totally ignorant of, and which the discovery of his being too well skilled in, frequently occasioned him much ill will, especially when he was found to have too far dived into those little secrets which will ever be among servants in large families. But reason was not ripe enough in him to enable him to distinguish between what were proper subjects for the exercise of this pa.s.sion, and what were not so.
That impediment, however, which had hitherto r.e.t.a.r.ded his departure being removed, he now set out for Eton, under the conduct of the abovementioned kinsman, who placed him in a boarding-house very near the school, and took his leave, after having given him such admonitions as he thought necessary for a person of his years, when more intrusted to himself than he before had been.