They had never said they liked each other and had never talked about their feelings. They were just people taking the same path, linked in their hearts in mutual agreement. This was all.
For Ding Ning, perhaps she was the only calm bay in this restless society filled with material desire that gave him some spiritual comfort.
He admired her stubbornness, admired her self-love, and admired her ability to rise unstained from the mud and to dance above the waves without being drowned in it.
A person was like their name. Her name was Bai Qinglian.
It was not a kitschy name at all because her character and lofty air made it even less so.
The only people who knew of the relationship between him and Bai Qinglian were friends of the same dorm. For a while, they had thought they were a couple and had occasionally teased them.
They never admitted to it but they never refuted it either. The girl only bowed her head and smiled with her lips pressed together, an unfathomable depth in her monochrome eyes.
He had thought that even if they could not be lovers, they would become friends on each other"s path going forward.
But one night during Ding Ning"s fourth year, the night before Bai Qinglian graduated, everything changed. He had excitedly bought her a graduation gift, wanting to wish her good luck in her job following graduation and to realize her dreams to change the fortune of her life.
At the front gate of the school, he saw with his own eyes, Bai Qinglian, stepping out from a car and looking like a G.o.ddess in a luxurious outfit, with an Armani bag, and her hair out of its usual pony-tail. He even saw her plant a kiss on the cheek of a man old enough to be her father.
Ding Ning had never been so angry before. He had not thought of Bai Qinglian as his girlfriend, instead, he had thought of her as mental support and faith struggling against the unfairness of fate.
But in that instant, his faith completely collapsed, upturning all that he knew concerning Bai Qinglian"s positive characteristics. He lost his reasoning and rushed forward excitedly to question her about something.
She had already endured four terrible years, why had she given up at the last moment? Why did she destroy her dream and life right before graduation?
At that time, Bai Qinglian"s fl.u.s.tered appearance made Ding Ning"s heart sink to the bottom of an icy valley. Angrily, he ruthlessly screamed the worse obscenities at her, calling her a s.l.u.t and a wh.o.r.e, and accused her of selling her body just for some money.
At the time, he was as crazy as a cuckold husband who caught his cheating wife and her lover in bed.
The old man"s manner was not that of a common man. Very severely, he asked who he was and what right did he have to scold Qinglian?
Angry and fl.u.s.tered, Ding Ning raised his hand high and struck the old man to the ground, raining a flurry of punches and kicks on his body.
Bai Qinglian gave a sharp cry and threw herself over the old man"s body to protect him. Like a crazed woman, she shouted that Ding Ning did not understand, and questioned him as to who he was to her and what right did he have to hit others.
Even to today, Ding Ning had still not forgotten the completely unmasked disdain and disgust in the old man"s eyes after he climbed up. "A poor student, what right do you have to stand here in a temper? Can you give Qinglian happiness? Can you support her? Can you give her a beautiful future?"
Without waiting for him to reply, the old man pointed at Bai Qinglian"s bag, watch, and clothes and continued to berate him.
"Do you know how much this bag costs? Do you know how much this watch costs? Do you know much all her clothing is worth? Let me tell you, you wouldn"t be able to afford it even if you sold yourself. Did you, a mere child, really think that some bold words can make your dreams come true? This society is far crueler than you think. Once you have the right to speak on equal footing with me, then stand before me and tell me about your ideals."
However, what chilled Ding Ning"s heart was that Bai Qinglian stood there pale-faced and biting her lip. Her eyes, once the purest in the world, revealed an unspeakably complicated emotions and were locked onto him but she said nothing and allowed him to be scolded by the old man.
Discouraged, Ding Ning completely lost hope. He turned around bleakly and left, as pathetic as a homeless dog.
After he calmed down, he did not understand why he had lost control like that. He simply believed that Bai Qinglian should not be a girl who worshipped money.
The collapse of faith, the degeneration of virtue, and the blaspheme of G.o.d. The righteousness, ritual, wisdom, and trust the Great Master spoke of did not appear at all in this ivory tower of a school. On the contrary, it became the hunting ground of those sons of rich families who drove luxurious cars, wore name brands, and played among the flowers.
This made him question life, himself, and this illness-stricken society.
He was prepared for a storm-like retribution but in the end, that old man did not appear and Bai Qinglian completely disappeared from his world.
Perhaps Bai Qinglian was using this way to repay the help he had once given him and used this decisive method to sever the last strand of friendship between them.
Ding Ning was depressed for a very long time and Bai Qinglian"s complicated gaze rose often in his mind.
But he still could not understand it, was it regret? Guilt? Self-blame? Or was is disdain for his childishness and ignorance at the time?
Time pa.s.sed and things changed. He no longer blamed her for not holding and losing to this G.o.dd.a.m.n society, for surrendering to bullsh*t fate!
After all, her life was too bitter and tiring. For a girl from a poor mountain valley, survival in such an international and material driven city was very difficult.
Living frugally, she had endured four years but what about it? Could that degree promise a job? Even if a job could be found, would it lead to meteoric success?
How many talented university students graduate with lofty ambitions to make a mark on society and be a step above but in the end, have their sharp edges ground away by the cruel reality and disappear among the people.
Bai Qinglian was no more than that. Her choice was not wrong but what Ding Ning could not understand was that, in the end, the beauty in his heart was just an illusion and it disappeared in a flash.
Slowly, Ding Ning even forgot what she looked like. Only that pair of eyes filled with complicated emotions remained in his memory and it also became a preoccupation that he will never be able to resolve.
Ding Ning didn"t know why he suddenly thought of Bai Qinglian at this time. Perhaps it was because he also needed to face a choice and that"s why he remembered her.
There was nothing more difficult in life than choice. Ding Ning was avoiding, avoiding making a choice.
Remembering the past, even though he did not approve, he was still very admiring of Bai Qinglian"s decisiveness. At least she dared to make a choice. Regardless of what the result was, it was a path chosen by her.
Thinking about life, Ding Ning suddenly felt that he was a useless being who went where he was directed and lacked any kind of ambition. There was little that separated him from salted fish.
Faced with that old man"s disdainful face and such humiliation, he still had no desire to improve. Muddling through was enough.
He had clearly mastered all of the curricula in second-year yet he had never thought to apply to skip ahead and graduate early.
He could have made something of himself while he studied and earned his first barrel of gold, laying down a foundation for the goal his father had laid out. But he would rather work odd jobs to live than to actually think of something to do.
When he graduated, he could have continued with his master"s but because of Li Wensheng"s revenge, he felt embittered and had sulkily left after getting his degree, disappointing Professor Song who had always been very good to him.
He clearly had a superpower and was highly talented, earning money would not be a difficult matter yet he did nothing all day and did not even have an idea to make money. All he knew how to do was to be caught up in the romantic emotions and endlessly running away, escaping, and shirking...
Ding Ning, you are a man, put away your aloof and pointless dignity. If you want others to respect you, you must respect yourself first.
Don"t disappoint your father, don"t disappoint your master, and don"t disappoint those you love and those that love you.
The matter with Ling Yun had already run the warning bell for him. Thinking of that other guy, all he had was a luxury car, a mansion, and a company, right?
Were problems that could be resolved with money even problems? Ding Ning"s mind was filled with thoughts. Suddenly, he felt he had missed out on a lot of decisions.
Although he had always felt that money was a scoundrel and had never thought much of it, this was an opinion formed by him being subtly influenced by the Great Master, a poor and shabby man.
In reality, it was almost impossible to do as one wished in this cruel society without a material foundation.
There was little difference between pure and poor but their difference in meaning was immense yet an equal sign could be drawn between them.
Perhaps, the Second Master, this cunning merchant"s, dark ideology was more suitable for surviving in this society.
If he had millions, tens of millions, or hundreds of millions of dollars, or a powerful supporter, would Li Wensheng still have dared to manipulate him like that?
Would Chu Yunxiu still be so sn.o.bbish? Would Ling Yun have fallen for someone else? Could that Junwei person be so smug?
A problem that could be resolved with money was not even a problem. Furthermore, earning money was also a grand dream.
As long as one had money, one could do whatever one wanted. Even if he became a famous doctor, if he did not have money, he could not achieve the goal of having success and recognition that his father had spoken of.
Only by having fame and fortune could one have a position in society that could not be ignored. Only in this way could one be said to have success and recognition.
As Ding Ning pondered his painful experiences, he suddenly had a feeling of enlightenment and understanding.
A smile appeared at the corners of his mouth and he quietly muttered, "Sorry, Bai Qinglian, I was wrong. Thank you for making me realize. If I could do things again, I would not let you become that old man"s show bird. I"ll look after you."
Once a person stopped being so focused on an insoluble problem, many things that appeared tangled together could be split like Gordian"s Knot.
Whether it was Ling Yun, Xiao Nuo, Shen Muqing, or the devil, none of it was a problem. As long as he wanted to, he could date any one of them. Before he got married, he had absolute freedom.
This made him very regretful of stupidly getting angry and leaving Xiao Nuo behind. If he had thought of this earlier, he would have put in a burst of energy and slept with her. After all, sleeping together does not mean marriage. Since she liked him and he liked her, then they could date for a while. Marriage was still a very distant matter.
If Shen Muqing also liked him, it would not hurt to date her first. However, given the condition of her body, such intensive action as rolling around in the bedsheets would have to be forgone.
But for such a beautiful cabbage to be nosed by other pigs was too much of a waste. Even if he couldn"t have a bite, he had to take some advantage first.
The Ding Ning in this moment seemed to undergo some degenerate change from his soul to his thinking. He seemed to change in an instant and his smile carried a sliver of vulgarity.
Who knew that his excitable personality made him jump from one extreme to another, from great elegance to great vulgarity, from the Great Master"s poor and conservative pit into the Second Master"s carefree and unruly pit?
He reached the villa on the half-bay. This time, the security guard let him in without a problem. As expected, he was a sn.o.b.
Ding Ning"s emotions were stirred up and he grew firmer in his convictions to a lot of money, have beautiful women, drive luxurious cars, live in mansions, be a famous doctor, have success and recognition, and marry a wife. Wahaha!
Parked outside villa number 16, the melodious sound of a guqin drifted out and Ding Ning"s mind instantly grew blank.
The Great Master loved to play the guqin but he had not thought that Shen Muqing would also know how to play. Well-learned and multi-talented, she was truly both a talented woman in name and in reality.
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