Robbie"s POVI looked at the letter that Tony placed on the table. He was standing quietly, looking at me with those firm beautiful eyes. Though, he looked non chalant I could see that he was nervous. Tony easily gets scared so many used to call him coward or gutless but I knew that it was not true.
The true coward was me. I was scared of taking responsibility of a kid. I kept thinking that will ruin my future and about the bad reputation. I feared my father"s reaction. He despised Omegas and found them to be cheap gold diggers. I was scared that he will be furious with me and disown me. I was so scared that I didn"t think twice what my rejection would do to Tony. I was being pure selfish.
After the kind of treatment I gave him, many Omegas would have fallen into depression, commit suicide, abort the child or beg to be accepted or at least support them financially but he did none of the above. He actually went ahead and gave birth to the kid. He boldly faced the society which was extremely biased to him. He went through thousands of hardships raising him alone but never bowed down.
Coward???
Huh, he was the true definition of Strength.
But what has been done can"t be undone. I have hurt him so deep that he could never forgive me. I know I don"t deserve to be forgiven or given another chance. But I still want to try. I had never felt more guilty than when I saw the despair and pain on his face, when I rejected him. I could never forget that even after so many years. I could see on his face the depth of sorrow I caused him and the betrayal he felt.
I picked up the letter from the table and dropped it in the dustbin. I saw Tony"s eyes widen in shock. He glared at me
"What do you think your doing?" he asked fuming
"Trashing your resignation. I told you I won"t accept it" I told him
"What do you want? I told you several times that I dont want you in my life" he said gritting his teeth
Those words were hard for me to hear. I know that he doesn"t want me, but I want nothing more than him. I regretted ever letting go of him. I was perhaps very selfish to want him back in my life but I can"t stop myself. It was only after I lost him, I realized how deeply I had fallen for him. No matter how much I tried dating other woman or men, I just couldn"t. I can"t bring myself to feel anything. Infact, I had to think of him to even get aroused. I secretly contacted private detectives to search around for him, but I didn"t know that he had left the city so I never got any result. Now that I have finally gotten him, I won"t let him go so easily.
"But I want you in my life" I blurted out without thinking
Tony looked surprised then he looked down at his feet, mumbling, "Stop already. How many times will you lie to me? Was it not enough to hurt me back then that you are doing it again"
"Back then I was 17. I didn"t even know what love was. I didn"t even approached you thinking about love, I just wanted an escapade from my mundane life. But before I even realized it, I fell for you. I understood that only after you left. I know you won"t believe me but this is the truth" I told him earnestly
"You have given me no reason to believe in you" he said clutching his fist so tight, that he drew blood.
I was shocked. Why was he hurting himself, if he was mad at me? I got up from the chair and quickly got to him. He took few steps back looking fearful. I hate that look on his face. It painfully reminds me of my past deeds. I held his wrist and pulled him towards the side shelf. I felt him resisting and heard him say,
"You - you - what do you think your doing? Stop it. Let go"
I turned to him and held his shoulder, he looked terrified as if I am going to kill him. I gritted my teeth. Why was he so scared of me? Do I look like some demon?
"I am not gonna hurt you" This was not what I wanted to say, but it came out of my mouth anyway.
I felt his shoulder relax slightly though his eyes still looked shaken. I took his hand, opened his palm and saw the nail marks and a little blood he drew clutching so hard. I took out the first aid box and some cotton. I disinfected the wound and put some pain reliever on it. I put a cotton over it and started bandaging it. He was looking at me in disbelief. I let go of his his hand once I was done and said to him while keeping back the first aid box.
"You are a chef. You should take care of your hands more. This is what earns you your living"