"Oh, I"m sorry!" She cried into her hands. "I"m sorry!" She wrapped her hands around his neck. She forced him closer. "I"m so sorry, Lucas!"
He rubbed her back. "It"s okay, Melody. I don"t have a clue what you"re talking about, but it"s okay. I"m not hurt. I shouldn"t have sneaked up on you like that, anyway, baby. I"m the one who"s sorry. What was I thinking? Did you know your front door was unlocked? You gotta be more careful."
"Oh, Lucas." She lay against his chest.
"I missed you at work today. I wanted to see what was going on. I started to call first but I thought surprising you would be better." He chuckled. "Guess that idea stunk, huh? Well, this is certainly one time when you can"t accuse me of being perfect." He smiled.
She touched his soft skin. She looked into his charming eyes. "Lucas, I love you so much. I don"t want to lose you."
"You"re not gonna lose me, but I do want to know what"s going on. I know I scared you but you d.a.m.n near killed me just now." He chuckled. "And you"re shaking, Mel." He touched her hands. "You"re breathing hard. I know something"s wrong. You can tell me anything."
She wanted so much to tell him. Lucas made everything all right when no one else could. She just didn"t know how he"d react. He"d always understood things, yet this would change their entire relationship. Once he found out she"d been raped, he"d never look at her the same way again. He"d never smile at her the same way. He"d always be too cautious. Always treat her like a helpless victim. He"d want to protect her first thing.
Melody didn"t want his protection. She just wanted someone, anyone to make what happened go away. If Lucas could do that, then he"d have her heart for life.
"Mel, talk to me. We"re all alone now. When I said you could come to me with anything, I meant it." He touched her face. "I mean it, baby."
"Not with this." She sniffed.
"Anything." He nodded. "I love you, Melody. That"s not gonna change."
"Lucas, it"s not easy at all." She stood from the bed. "We were doing so well. We were getting so close. Now all of that"s gonna change. You won"t look at me the same. You"ll be guarded around me all the time. I don"t want that!"
"Melody, I don"t know what"s happened to you, but I promise it won"t change us."
She looked at her fingers. "It"s gonna definitely change some things, Lucas. You will start to resent me, even if you don"t want to. It"s only natural!"
He grabbed her. "No, I won"t." He stared into her eyes. "Melody, I love you like I never loved any woman. I always have. You"re always pushing me away and I want that to end tonight. I"ll be there for you. No matter what you say, baby, I"ll be there for you no matter what. I love you and I"ll do all I can to be with you."
"You can"t mean that."
"I do." He touched her chin. He wiped her tears with his fingertip. "You can tell me anything, Melody. We"ll just get through it together. Nothing could be that bad, okay?" He guided her to sit beside him again. "Now tell me what"s going on with you."
She exhaled. She looked at the dresser. She looked at the carpet. She looked at her Jennifer Lopez poster on the wall. Anything to ignore looking into his eyes. She finally gave in. "Lucas." He nodded. "I was raped."
Melody pa.s.sed Lucas a bowl of ice cream twenty minutes later. They sat at the kitchen table. She couldn"t believe how easy it had been to explain things to him. She found it hard to even talk to Sarah about it. She wanted to go one step further and tell Lucas who had raped her. She wasn"t ready for that yet. She stared into his eyes. He didn"t smile. She didn"t expect him to. Anyone would be shocked right now. What guy expects his girlfriend to tell him something like this?
He stirred the large spoon through the clumps of vanilla ice cream. Melody understood when he pushed the bowl away. She hadn"t eaten much today herself. It seemed like everything died when Keith raped her. She had no real emotions, appet.i.te, drive or interests. She just kept thinking of the rape hour on the hour. She wondered if that would ever end.
"Do you, uh, want to say something?" she whispered.
He rubbed his chin. "Did you go to the police?"
"No. I, uh, I don"t know if I wanna even go that route."
"Melody, you can"t let this guy get away with what he"s done. I tell you, if I ever meet up with him, I"ll kill him." He pounded his fist to the table. "I will absolutely kill him!" That alone made her want to reveal Keith. "I just can"t believe this. Aileen was raped, now you?"
"I"m sorry I didn"t tell you earlier."
"You don"t have a d.a.m.n thing to apologize for, Melody. G.o.d, this is...it"s just a shock. I can"t even grasp it yet."
"Me, either." She played with her fingers. "Lucas, I don"t know if I will be able to come back to work." He stared at her. "I don"t think it"s right for me."
"Melody, you belong at Caper. You"re doing so well. Don"t let this stop you from living your life."
She scoffed. "It already has."
"Not as long as I"m still here." He took her hand. "We"ll get through it. It"s not just your problem, but it"s mine, too. I really want you to reconsider going to the police. You may be able to help other women from being raped."
"Rape, rape, rape." She sighed. "Is that all that ever happens in this city anymore? When will it all end?"
"When victims like you make a stand." He sighed. "d.a.m.n it, Mel. I wish so much that I could change what happened."
"Shh, you can"t, believe me."
"I tell you, if I ever get lucky enough to see this motherf.u.c.ker, I"ll kill him." He stared at the wall. "As sure as the sun shines, I"ll kill him without looking back."
"I think I need to be alone now, Lucas." She stood.
"I wish you would reconsider coming back to work. You don"t have to make up your mind now. I"ll talk to my father, okay?"
"Don"t tell him I was raped."
"No, I won"t." He took her hand. "I"ll just tell him you"ll need some time to deal with some personal issues."
"And if he asks for details?"
He sighed. "I"ll just have to make something up." He kissed her.
Chapter Sixteen.
Brianna opened her front door to Steven around one a.m. She never could sleep during rain. The storm had faded into drizzling. She noticed the tiny droplets of water that clung to her porch light. Steven looked different somehow. He seemed relax. Lately he"d been so tense. She had hoped he"d come back to explain things. She had so many questions.
She hated thinking negatively about him. She was only human. You can only take so many unanswered questions.
No one could hold a candle to Steven"s good looks in her eyes. He reminded her of the tanned, blond guys on the cover of romance novels. She hadn"t really been attracted to a white man until Steven. He soon became someone she"d always love. No one, black or white, would ever take his place. She couldn"t help hating herself for what she thought.
She kept telling herself she had an excuse. That he wasn"t being completely honest, so it wasn"t her fault if she doubted him. Somehow that didn"t wash with her. She felt the sides of her flimsy blue nightgown. Steven"s eyes drifted from her face to her b.r.e.a.s.t.s. He swatted raindrops from his forehead. He wasn"t wearing those baggy sweats. He wore a fitted black shirt that hugged his muscular chest. Those black slacks reminded Brianna of his fantastic body. She looked down at the soaking black, leather combat boots he wore. She"d never seen him in all black before. He"d obviously had time to go shopping on the run. She wouldn"t waste any time. She wanted answers. She intended to get them.
"h.e.l.lo." His voice sounded hoa.r.s.e, yet still held its usual charm.
"h.e.l.lo, Steve. Uh, I"m glad you came back."
"Oh, you are?"
"Yes, we have some things to talk about. Come on in."
He smirked. He eagerly followed the command. He accidentally brushed up against her when she shut the door. She never remembered Steven looking at her this way before. She figured him seeing her in a nightgown might have been too much to handle. She felt her nipples tighten against her gown. Her thighs quaked. Her mound ached with the thought of giving in and ravishing him. She"d always been attracted to Steven. She just couldn"t be with him. Or so she thought.
"Steve, come on into the living room." He followed. She turned on the lamps. They sat on the couch. Steven hadn"t broken his stare once. "Steve, uh..." She caught the stare again. "What is it?" She chuckled.
He c.o.c.ked his head to the side. "G.o.d, you"re so beautiful." He brushed his warm hand against her left cheek. She shut her eyes. She couldn"t afford to get lost in what they used to have. Not with so much at stake. She moved his hand. "Brianna?" He laid his hand on her naked knee.
"Steven, we have to talk, okay?"
He grinned. "We are talking." He caressed her knee.
She moved his hand. "I"m serious, Steven." He nodded. "Why did you leave my place last night?"
"Uh..." He scratched his head. "I just needed time to think. I...I didn"t want to further involve you in this. I saw that my escape was in the papers this morning." He grinned. "Guess I"m getting a lot of attention."
"Steven, I"m serious. Why did you leave?"
He turned toward her. "Brianna, I"ve never cared for anyone the way I care for you. I didn"t want to put you through this. I came back because I was fooling myself. I miss so much what we had."
"Steven, I want to believe in you. But there was another rape. A woman named Candace Bridges and she lives close to your neighborhood."
"Brianna, I swear I had no idea." He sneezed.
"Are you all right?"
He sneezed again. "Yeah, uh, just allergies, I suppose." He sneezed again. "G.o.d, excuse me."
"Oh, let me get you something." She pa.s.sed him a tiny box of tissue from the drawer in the table. He sneezed again. After three more he finally relaxed. "You all right?"
"Yes, uh, I must be allergic to something in this room." His eyes turned red.
"I haven"t done anything different. You didn"t sneeze last night. Maybe it"s the weather." He nodded. "Steven, you can"t just run forever. Do you have some kind of theory other than the lookalike story?"
"What"s wrong with that theory? You already know the rapist looks exactly like me." He gawked. "Oh, I get it. You"re having doubts?"
"Steve, I care about you very much. But it"s not easy to stay objective with what"s been going on."
"I didn"t rape anyone, Brianna." She grimaced. "Please believe that." He kissed her hand. He rubbed his other hand down her caramel thigh. He brought his mouth to her neck. He sucked gently, yet hungrily. "Now tell me...you don"t want this."
"I..." She did want it. She still wanted him. She couldn"t deny that forever. His touch awakened the past. She thought of how good it felt to lie naked in his arms. How handsome he looked when he came after making love. How he could bring her to slopes of ecstasy untouched by any man. She had forgotten that soothing tongue. Those commanding fingers. Those satisfying lips.
"G.o.d, I want you so bad, Brianna," he whispered in her ear. "You gotta know that. How could I get over a woman like you?" He slipped his hand inside her gown. She moaned while he took her nipple between two fingers. "You like that?" he whispered. She moaned desperately. "Want me to suck it? Huh?" He flipped her nipple with his thumb.
He slipped the gown from one shoulder. She put her hand on his chest to stop him. "Steven, wait. Uh, this doesn"t feel right."
He grinned. "What the h.e.l.l you talking about, Brianna? It feels right to me." He brought his mouth toward her hard black nipple. She gently held him back. "Brianna, we"ve already done it before. What"s the big deal now?"
"No, Steven," she sighed. "I"ll be right back. I gotta go to the bathroom."
She ran to her bathroom. She dabbed her face with warm water. She couldn"t let him get to her now. She needed answers. She couldn"t afford to be reminded of how great it had been to love him. The bathroom door opened behind her. She felt his breath on the back of her neck. He grabbed her hips. He roughly shoved himself against her.
"Come on now." He sucked the back of her neck. "Brianna, I love you so much."
"Steven, don"t." She tried to move his hand from her sides. "Steven." He turned her around. He kissed her hungrily, to the point where she almost couldn"t breathe. He lifted her gown to the level of her panties. She kept her hands on his to stop the action. All the while Steven continued kissing her. "Steven...we can"t do this," she mumbled with her lips to his.
"Yes, we can. We both want it. It"s natural. I know how you feel about me. You don"t have to be afraid, Brianna." He pressed her against the sink. "Just tonight, Brianna. You can go back to your regular life. Just let me remember how it was for tonight." He kissed her. She pushed him away.
"I can"t, Steven." She wiped her mouth. "Please just go."
"I want to make love to you, now." He went for a kiss. She moved away. "Brianna, you honestly can say you don"t want me?" He chuckled.
His blue eyes didn"t hold their usual compa.s.sionate flicker. Had being accused of rape changed him? Could Steven really be the rapist? She held her mouth. "Please go, Steven. You can come back another time."
"Yeah." He stood up straight. He wiped his mouth. "Yeah, I can come back, Brianna."
She stared at him. "Steven, are you all right? You seem different."
He winked. "I"m always all right." He kissed her. "I can"t wait to make love to you again. The next time we meet, I will. I won"t leave here until I do." He went downstairs. She slowly followed, gripping her gown along the way. He definitely knew how to twist a girl"s emotions.
"Steven, where will you go? And you gotta be more careful coming around here."
"You"ll be hearing from me again."
"Steven, you can"t run forever."
"From them or from you?" He wrapped his arms around her waist. He pushed his lips to hers. His tongue forced her mouth open. He nearly sucked the breath from her. Suddenly he began gagging. Brianna moved away.
"Steven, are you all right?"
"I...I can"t breathe!" He coughed and sneezed. "Oh G.o.d, you must have something in here I"m allergic to!"
"No, I don"t."
"You must!" He coughed. Davis scampered from the living room. "The cat," he sighed. "Can"t go two feet near one." He ran out the door.
Brianna glared. A brick on the head couldn"t have shocked her more than this moment. She laid a finger to her trembling lips. She thought of the man she"d just made out with in the bathroom. The air tightened around her. Perspiration popped from her forehead. She ripped the door open. "s.h.i.t!" She slammed it shut. She ran to the phone. She dialed Jersey"s number.
"Captain, this is Brianna!" She leaned against the living room wall.
"Morris?" Jersey exhaled. "Are you all right? You sound like you"re struggling to breathe."
"I am. Oh Captain, Steven"s not the rapist. I know that for sure now."
"Well, I do, too. I always did."