I am an honest tradesman, who never meant harm to anybody. My affairs went on smoothly while a bachelor; but of late I have met with some difficulties, of which I take the freedom to give you an account.
About the time I first addressed my present spouse, her father gave out in speeches that, if she married a man he liked, he would give with her two hundred pounds in cash on the day of marriage. He never said so much to me, it is true; but he always received me very kindly at his house, and openly countenanced my courtship. I formed several fine schemes what to do with this same two hundred pounds, and in some measure neglected my business on that account; but, unluckily, it came to pa.s.s, that, when the old gentleman saw I was pretty well engaged, and that the match was too far gone to be easily broke off, he, without any reason given, grew very angry, forbid me the house, and told his daughter that if she married me he would not give her a farthing. However (as he thought), we were not to be disappointed in that manner, but, having stole a wedding, I took her home to my house, where we were not quite in so poor a condition as the couple described in the Scotch song, who had
"Neither pot nor pan, But four bare legs together,"
for I had a house tolerably well furnished for a poor man before. No thanks to Dad, who, I understand, was very much pleased with his politic management; and I have since learned that there are other old curmudgeons (so called) besides him, who have this trick to marry their daughters, and yet keep what they might well spare till they can keep it no longer. But this by way of digression; a word to the wise is enough.
I soon saw that with care and industry we might live tolerably easy and in credit with our neighbours; but my wife had a strong inclination to be a gentlewoman. In consequence of this, my oldfashioned looking-gla.s.s was one day broke, as she said, _no one could tell which way_. However, since we could not be without a gla.s.s in the room, "My dear," saith she, "we may as well buy a large fashionable one, that Mr. Such-a-one has to sell. It will cost but little more than a common gla.s.s, and will look much handsomer and more creditable." Accordingly, the gla.s.s was bought and hung against the wall; but in a week"s time I was made sensible, by little and little, that _the table was by no means suitable to such a gla.s.s_; and, a more proper table being procured, some time after, my spouse, who was an excellent contriver, informed me where we might have very handsome chairs _in the way_; and thus, by degrees, I found all my old furniture stowed up in the garret, and everything below altered for the better.
Had we stopped here, it might have done well enough. But my wife being entertained with tea by the good woman she visited, we could do no less than the like when they visited us; so we got a teatable, with all its appurtenances of China and silver. Then my spouse unfortunately overworked herself in washing the house, so that we could do no longer without a maid. Besides this, it happened frequently that when I came home at one, the dinner was but just put in the pot, and _my dear thought really it had been but eleven_. At other times, when I came at the same hour, _she wondered I would stay so long, for dinner was ready about one, and had waited for me these two hours_. These irregularities, occasioned by mistaking the time, convinced me that it was absolutely necessary _to buy a clock_, which my spouse observed was _a great ornament to the room_. And lastly, to my grief, she was troubled with some ailment or other, and _nothing did her so much good as riding, and these hackney-horses were such wretched ugly creatures that_--I bought a very fine pacing mare, which cost twenty pounds; and hereabouts affairs have stood for about a twelvemonth past.
I could see all along that this did not at all suit with my circ.u.mstances, but had not resolution enough to help it, till lately, receiving a very severe dun, which mentioned the next court, I began in earnest to project relief. Last Monday, my dear went over the river to see a relation and stay a fortnight, because she could not bear the heat of the town air. In the interim I have taken my turn to make alterations; namely, I have turned away the maid, bag and baggage (for what should we do with a maid, who, besides our boy, have none but ourselves?) I have sold the pacing mare, and bought a good milch-cow with three pounds of the money. I have disposed of the table, and put a good spinning-wheel in its place, which, methinks, looks very pretty; nine empty canisters I have stuffed with flax, and with some of the money of the tea-furniture I have bought a set of knitting-needles, for, to tell you the truth, _I begin to want stockings_. The fine clock I have transformed into an hourgla.s.s, by which I have gained a good round sum; and one of the pieces of the old looking-gla.s.s, squared and framed, supplies the place of the great one, which I have conveyed into a closet, where it may possibly remain some years. In short, the face of things is quite changed, and methinks you would smile to see my hourgla.s.s hanging in the place of the clock. What a great ornament it is to the room! I have paid my debts, and find money in my pocket. I expect my dear home next Friday, and, as your paper is taken at the house where she is, I hope the reading of this will prepare her mind for the above surprising revolutions. If she can conform herself to this new manner of living, we shall be the happiest couple, perhaps, in the province, and, by the blessing of G.o.d, may soon be in thriving circ.u.mstances. I have reserved the great gla.s.s, because I know her heart is set upon it; I will allow her, when she comes in, to be taken suddenly ill with _the headache_, _the stomach-ache_, _fainting-fits_, or whatever other disorder she may think more proper, and she may retire to bed as soon as she pleases. But if I should not find her in perfect health, both of body and mind, the next morning, away goes the aforesaid great gla.s.s, with several other trinkets I have no occasion for, to the vendue, that very day; which is the irrevocable resolution
Of, sir, her loving husband and Your very humble servant, ANTHONY AFTERWIT.
P.S.--I would be glad to know how you approve my conduct.
_Answer._--I don"t love to concern myself in affairs between man and wife.
LETTERS.
"_Mrs. Abiah Franklin._
"Philadelphia, April (date uncertain).
"HONOURED MOTHER,
"We received your kind letter of the 2d instant, by which we are glad to hear you still enjoy such a measure of health, notwithstanding your great age. We read your writings very easily. I never met with a word in your letter but what I could easily understand, for, though the hand is not always the best, the sense makes everything plain. My leg, which you inquire after, is now quite well. I shall keep these servants: but the man not in my own house. I have hired him out to the man that takes care of my Dutch printing-office, who agrees to keep him in victuals and clothes, and to pay me a dollar a week for his work. The wife, since that affair, behaves exceeding well: but we conclude to sell them both the first good opportunity, for we do not like negro servants. We got again about half what we lost.
"As to your grandchildren, Will is now 19 years of age, a tall, proper youth, and much of a beau. He acquired a habit of idleness on the expedition, but begins, of late, to apply himself to business, and, I hope, will become an industrious man. He imagined his father had got enough for him; but I have a.s.sured him that I intend to spend what little I have myself, if it please G.o.d that I live long enough, and he can see, by my going on, that I mean to be as good as my word.
"Sally grows a fine girl, and is extremely industrious with her needle, and delights in her work. She is of a most affectionate temper, and perfectly dutiful and obliging to her parents and to all. Perhaps I flatter myself too much, but I have hope that she will prove an ingenious, sensible, notable, and worthy woman, like her aunt Jenny; she goes now to the dancing school.
"For my own part, at present, I pa.s.s my time agreeably enough; I enjoy (through mercy) a tolerable share of health. I read a great deal, ride a little, do a little business for myself (now and then for others), retire when I can, and go into company when I please so; the years roll round, and the last will come, when I would rather have it said _he lived usefully_ than _he died rich_.
"Cousins Josiah and Sally are well, and I believe will do well, for they are an industrious, loving young couple; but they want a little more stock to go on smoothly with their business.
"My love to brother and sister Mecom and their children, and to all my relations in general. I am your dutiful son,
"B. FRANKLIN."
"_Miss Jane Franklin._[12]
[12] His sister married Mr. Edward Mecom, July 27, 1727.
"Philadelphia, January 6, 1726-7.
"DEAR SISTER,
"I am highly pleased with the account Captain Freeman gives me of you. I always judged by your behaviour when a child, that you would make a good, agreeable woman, and you know you were ever my peculiar favourite.
I have been thinking what would be a suitable present for me to make, and for you to receive, as I hear you are grown a celebrated beauty. I had almost determined on a teatable; but when I considered that the character of a good housewife was far preferable to that of being only a pretty gentlewoman, I concluded to send you a _spinning-wheel_, which I hope you will accept as a small token of my sincere love and affection.
"Sister, farewell, and remember that modesty as it makes the most homely virgin amiable and charming, so the want of it infallibly renders the most perfect beauty disagreeable and odious. But when that brightest of female virtues shines among other perfections of body and mind in the same person, it makes the woman more lovely than an angel. Excuse this freedom, and use the same with me. I am, dear Jenny, your loving brother,
"B. FRANKLIN."
_To the same._
Philadelphia, July 28, 1743.
"DEAREST SISTER JENNY,
"I took your admonition very kindly, and was far from being offended at you for it. If I say anything about it to you, "tis only to rectify some wrong opinions you seem to have entertained of me; and this I do only because they give you some uneasiness, which I am unwilling to be the cause of. You express yourself as if you thought I was against worshipping of G.o.d, and doubt that good works would merit heaven; which are both fancies of your own, I think, without foundation. I am so far from thinking that G.o.d is not to be worshipped, that I have composed and wrote a whole book of devotions for my own use, and I imagine there are few, if any, in the world so weak as to imagine that the little good we can do here can merit so vast a reward hereafter.
"There are some things in your New-England doctrine and worship which I do not agree with: but I do not therefore condemn them, or desire to shake your belief or practice of them. We may dislike things that are nevertheless right in themselves: I would only have you make me the same allowance, and have a better opinion both of morality and your brother.
Read the pages of Mr. Edwards"s late book, ent.i.tled, "Some Thoughts concerning the present Revival of Religion in New-England," from 367 to 375; and when you judge of others, if you can perceive the fruit to be good, don"t terrify yourself that the tree may be evil; but be a.s.sured it is not so, for you know who has said, "Men do not gather grapes off thorns, and figs off thistles." I have not time to add, but that I shall always be your affectionate brother,
"B. FRANKLIN.
"P.S.--It was not kind in you, when your sister commenced good works, to suppose she intended it a reproach to you. "Twas very far from her thoughts."
"_To Mr. George Whitefield._
"Philadelphia, June 6, 1753.
"SIR,
"I received your kind letter of the 2d instant, and am glad to hear that you increase in strength; I hope you will continue mending till you recover your former health and firmness. Let me know whether you still use the cold bath, and what effect it has.
"As to the kindness you mention, I wish it could have been of more service to you. But if it had, the only thanks I should desire is, that you would always be equally ready to serve any other person that may need your a.s.sistance, and so let good offices go round; for mankind are all of a family.
"For my own part, when I am employed in serving others, I do not look upon myself as conferring favours, but as paying debts. In my travels and since my settlement, I have received much kindness from men to whom I shall never have an opportunity of making the least direct return, and numberless mercies from G.o.d, who is infinitely above being benefited by our services. Those kindnesses from men I can therefore only return on their fellow-men, and I can only show my grat.i.tude for these mercies from G.o.d by a readiness to help his other children and my brethren. For I do not think that thanks and compliments, though repeated weekly, can discharge our real obligations to each other, and much less those to our Creator. You will see in this my notion of good works, that I am far from expecting to merit heaven by them. By heaven we understand a state of happiness infinite in degree and eternal in duration: I can do nothing to deserve such rewards. He that, for giving a draught of water to a thirsty person, should expect to be paid with a good plantation, would be modest in his demands compared with those who think they deserve heaven for the little good they do on earth. Even the mixed, imperfect pleasures we enjoy in this world are rather from G.o.d"s goodness than our merit: how much more such happiness of heaven! For my part, I have not the vanity to think I deserve it, the folly to expect it, nor the ambition to desire it; but content myself in submitting to the will and disposal of that G.o.d who made me, who has. .h.i.therto preserved and blessed me, and in whose fatherly goodness I may well confide, that he will never make me miserable, and that even the afflictions I may at any time suffer shall tend to my benefit. * * * *
"I wish you health and happiness.
"B. FRANKLIN."