Let me ask a question.....How should heroes behave?
I honestly don"t know how should a hero should be behaving. No, really...I don"t know...
I have been at this job of being a Demon Lord for over two hundred years and even though I have had some pretty interesting challenges, one of them even manage to drive me back to a corner too. However it seem that with time, the qualities of heroes are deteriorating like the one that I am currently facing....or rather suppose to be facing. This fool that I am suppose to be facing is nothing short of a joke.
I Am the Overlord of Destruction and Despair, I am The Lord of the Dark Abyss, I am the Fiery King of h.e.l.l, and I have over a hundred thousand soldiers of demon at my beckoning, ready to die at single command. I Am The Almighty, THE ALL POWERFUL...EHTUHC!!!
And yet, despite all that I am, here I am. In my dark and dreary castle awaiting like stupid donkey awaiting to be fed by cowardly hero who couldn"t even defeat a slime.....a SLIME! I tell you, what kind of useless little p.r.i.c.k that couldn"t muster the courage to kill a d.a.m.n SLIME!
Ok....so maybe, just maybe, one can say that it"s reasonable to be afraid of Slime King, those can really hurt you. They just won"t die, their regenative power are frightening. However the type of slime we are talking about here is the common one, h.e.l.l....even the village children can one shot those little weakling with nothing but a stone.
Now.....should our wonderful hero were to muster some courage and go out an kill monster, I think he"d make for a decent fight. But.....nnnooooo.....the fool spend his day lazing around in the castle and banging maids days and nights like some deviant maniac. I envy my friend on the other continent, now that was Demon King, he was so notorious that countries and nations goes for an open warfare against him. He wiped out nearly six kingdoms and ma.s.sacred over three millions souls. In a desperate bid for victory, the remaining survivors band together to form a suicide team of heroes, who manage to seal my friend into the void, killing themselves in the process.
There"s a secret though...it"s that Demon Lords high vitality and regenerative power are top notch, sealing us in the void is nothing short of a simple vacation, we can easily break out anytime we want. Add on that, over the centuries of conquest, we do tend to acc.u.mulate a lot of s.h.i.ts in our dimensional pocket which is completely accessible in the void. So, if I were to be sealed, I would have all the things I have acc.u.mulated over the centuries, slaves frozen in time, foodstuff, booze of all kinds, furnitures and even houses. Using special spatial thaumaturgy techniques, we can connect our sealing void s.p.a.ce with other sealing void s.p.a.ce too. I think it"s practially a universe by itself where Demon Lords are G.o.ds of Creation, providing that we properly acc.u.mulated enough stuff for building. However no matter how top notch our magical power is, Demon Lord cannot access the sealing void by ourselves, that power for that stuff is entirely belong to the G.o.ddess faction. The human, the dwarves, and the elves race. Those guy can access the power to seal us Demon Lords in these void s.p.a.ce where we"re supposed to be trap and sealed for eternity. Hahahaha....what joke though.
I was trapped and sealed in the void three times, and each time....It Was BLISS!!! No annoying servants banging on my door all panickly like and giving me bad news, No More stupid kings and nations trespa.s.sing upon my front yard and calling me out on cold winter days. I can sleep however long I want without having some sneaky little ratty magicians coming in and blasting my face full of soots. Oh Man.....my void s.p.a.ce has Everything, it got a cool palace made entirely of diamonds looted from the Dwarven kingdom over fifty years.
I even got a poem of how cool and awesome my Void Palace is...
Let"s. .h.i.t IT!!
A Minotaur"s my butler, A dragonkin my valet
A Two headed Centaur draws my Chariot that take me down the lays
I got millions demons to walk me to my throne
In the land of the Void
h.e.l.l boy, ain"t it great?
I"m the overking of the shadow world
Cause I hold dominion of all
In the land of the Void
I"m demonside royalty
I"m far renowned in the overworld
And ya"ll can"t take that from me.
Demon Wolf my lap dog is loyal as can be
My bed is made of human skulls; I"m in the lap of luxuries
I"ve got a Dragon"s Blood jacuzzi; the Banshees think it"s cool
And a eight-headed Hydra livin" in my swimmin" pool
In the land of the Void
I"m demonside royalty
I hold dominion over all things
and I torment my slaves all days
In the land of the Void
h.e.l.l boy, ain"t it great?
I overking of the shadow world
cause I hold dominion of all
....ahem.....right, so there you have it. If I want to wake up in the morning with a b.l.o.w.j.o.b ready, h.e.l.l I get to have it from a succubus right off the moment I open my eyes. d.a.m.n....those girl can really suck a demon dry.
However....there are times of course, when Demon Lord such as myself find it a little boring just to live in debauchery and pleasure all the time. So, to have a little bit of both world, we tend to unseal ourselves and return to the world of the G.o.ddess. Now, that I am here, I find the world relatively boring and annoying. At least the sieging was fun, for the defending Demon that is.
The usual tactics of my armies was to frontal attack of the city and leave death and destruction in the wake, but after some time, we found that tactic can be a little overly costly. So, one of my tactic officer proposed a new plan. We entered human cities with our spies who are capable to devouring and access memories of key humans and demons with abilities to disguise themselves as other humans have them turn over the cities to the Demon side. Of course, once they did that, we would be under sieged from the human, dwarf, elves alliance and thing is, the thing is.....man, Human can be vicious. Especially the ladies.
Get a demon to seduce a lady and she"ll jump on top of the wall and help the demonkins to fight against the human that was supposed to "free" the city. Those ladies have a natural vindictiveness, who had no sense of fair play when it came to fighting soldiers. I supposed it"s because of all their young husband leaving for the army that these young women felt a little needs of love. Give a woman a spear and hole to jab it through, and the young men on the other side were in big troubles. Unluckily for the alliance of course, is that usually the city that is under sieged was being sieged by the young men whose origin was from that city. The area that we demon took was a natural recruiting ground for the regiments of human soldiers. It also an area of big families and matriarches whose word was family law.
Oh what fun, what mischief, it was almost like cheating, when we give those ladies a megaphone and have them on a parapet yelling over the wall at the enemy side; "I know you"re out there, Decken! This is your wife! You CLIMB UP one more time and you"ll feel the pain of my rolling pin! And YOU! Robert, your sister sends her love and want you to hurry home. Your grandfather"s feeling a lot better with his new ointment for male itch! Now stop being a silly boy!"
It was a dirty trick and so much fun. I was proud of it and my tactical officer was even prouder when I made him the Commander of 10,000 demons. Messages from people from your home city sapped fighting spirit way better than arrows.