We dream because we are awake.We seek because we are not alone.
We fall because we fly.
The words carried upon the ocean breeze
As I sank beneath the tide.
We make demands because we have nothing.
We pray because it won"t come true.
Why.....?
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Dearest Love
How are you, my dearest love? How about you, Neyugn Oaht? It"s has been so long since I last saw your face. It has been so long since I last catch a sniff at your lovely scent.
I"m sorry, my love, I am so very sorry for what I had done and I"m in deepest and most sorrowful of remorse in losing you. Perhaps one day this letter will reach you, and by that time, I would be gone. Slain by the heroes of time, dust to dust and ashes to ashes.
My love, once in while I slept and dreamt. I dreamt that your words were only lies and that you would have me again, and then I awoke in the dark of night only to realize it was all a dream.
I remember our first meeting, there you were, an etheral ephemeral beauty in the summer night. I fell in love at first sight, and your eyes, my love, your eyes were shining like jewels set against the endless continuing tedium of life. And so, in my delirium of love, my downfall begin. I asked you out for lunch the next week, and you accepted. Oh how happy I was, how joyful, I took you to a restaurant in the city but you would rather go for the street vendor and it was then that I found your favorite food. You love the taste of Fried Ockupu, a tasty treat of chewy texture and salty flavor. I thought those day would always last.
For years that went by, be it rain, wind, or sleet of snow, I endure all to fulfill your appet.i.tes for Fried Ockupu. I went to the stall on windy days, I went to their restaurant on heavy rain days, and even as the sun set on the coldest of days, I go and buy the ingredient raw to make you your lunches of Fried Ockupu. Oh how happy was I, how happy was I to make you food just to see your smile. Your lovely smile that just seem to brighten and lift away all my sorrow and troubles.
Perhaps that was the begin of my end.
My lovely, My beautiful, My eternal pain, My dearest Neyugn Oaht.
I was reborn the moment I met you.
Just once more, I want to feel your lovely hands grasping my own.
My heart yearns to gently caress your fingers, so soft and so delicate, one by one.
If I know not my place, if my wish is naught but a fantasy, allow me, at least to gaze upon your smile and eyes. Hidden by such an impossibly thin shroud, its modestly but a veil for its ever deeper pa.s.sions.
I can almost feel your soft flesh, ready to burst forth from the skintight nylon chains constricting it, like ribbon to the most luxurious, sensual and smooth Elven honey. My love, I love you so much, I love you deeply that even after so long. In this place, in this dark and dreadful land, awaiting for my demise to come, I still remember you. How I wish I could take back what I had done, how I deeply wish that I could have you in my arms again. How I wish to have the night to ourselves upon the balcony once upon a time, dancing and prancing among the glittering stars of diamonds embedded in shadowy silk.
My dearest love, if I could dance with you again. I would not mind for you to forget about me. I would not care if it is my last memory to be with you. Lock me in dark box and throw away the key, scoff at me, scorned at me, think of me as pitiful creature that surrender himself to love. I would not mind if I can have one last dance with you.
I will not forget, I will never forget the twinkling of your eyes, I will never forget the fire of pa.s.sions in your eyes like that of paper lanterns floating on the dark river of summer night. I will not forget the feeling I have when I was with you, like that of paper lanterns rising into the festival night sky. You will always be there in my mind"s treasure box with all those precious memories.
I have always dream about making a living with my studies, to grasp the power of the world and bend it to my will.
Every morning, I would walk to the academy. The morning were still dark in the winter, and the sun would only be rising on my way home. I always took a longer path so I could watch the sun rise over the ocean as I walked, even though it was freezing cold. Now that I think about it, even though it is already too late, I wonder if whether we might have look at the same sun dawning over the ocean once.
When I was with you, my dearest love, my lovely Neyugn Oaht, I feel myself wanting you. I feel myself wanting to worship you, to cherish you, to protect you, and perhaps. When the truth came, I was in disbelief, and I was face with the terrible reality that you thought nothing of me, nothing but a convenience, just a foolish chump who you don"t think much at all. My dearest cruel love, you have broken me. You have shattered my soul, my heart in all direction.
In my despair, in my anger, in my fury and sorrow, I furiously searched for the form of the thing I could call "myself."
In the absence of the Spirits, other voices whispered. I listened to the shadow and from them; I received my ascension; my awakening; for they had come to me to deliver a gift. In return I was to be their messenger of fury. I was reborn, a creature of born of hatred and despair. However, no matter how much suffering I wrought, no matter how many kingdoms I brought to their knees, I still could not fill the emptiness of my heart.
My love, you have broken me, and in that I thank you. Perhaps it was fate all along. We are naught but puppets on the strings of destiny.
For now as I wait upon my throne of black rocks, and countless skulls of men waiting for you. My dearest love, now you are on your way, a Hero admired by all, ready to slay me....
Come.....my dearest,
Come.....My greatest regret
Come.....my torturer, my despair.....
Come.....my lovely Neyugn Oaht
For our dance await!