"If you don"t make your change, make your choice, then you"ll s.n.a.t.c.h anyone around you and force them through too. You know how to open the window, but not how to close it. If you"re not careful, you"ll get tangled in living energy."
"I"ll kill anyone around me?"
"Not directly, dear." Auntie dished up pasta like she"d just told me it would rain tomorrow.
"You"ll be fine. I know these things. Now, have some of the world"s best mac and cheese."
I wasn"t sure I believed her, but she wanted so badly for me to not worry, to not pace and panic, that I fried. And when I put the first bite in my mouth I was lost in a world of cream and custard and cheese. "Oh my G.o.d, that"s good," I hummed.
"I know." Auntie giggled like a child.
We finished eating. The cake cooled, and we iced it. Tens still hadn"t returned. Finally, I broke down and had a piece of cake with a tall gla.s.s of cold milk.
"Did my mum know how to cook or what? These recipes are from before I was six. Can you imagine? She wrote these down in pencil on the backs of catalog pages. My daddy saved them, made every cook we ever had make them every month or so.
Grandmother made sure I memorized them."
"It"s all so good," I said. I tried to peek at the window without drawing her notice.
"He"ll be back shortly. I promise." Auntie patted my hand. "Come keep me company while I finish this quilt."
"Whose quilt is it?" I asked, sitting down in a chair across from her perch by the fire in the library. We couldn"t keep the heat going in the living room because of the broken window.
Auntie lovingly unfolded a lap-sized quilt as if unwrapping the richest of presents.
She smiled, a small sad tilt of her lips. "Mine."
My stomach dropped. "But you said ... These are all ... You said -"
"I said that I made quilts of each life that pa.s.sed through me."
"Right?" Tears burned at the back of my throat. I wanted to plug my ears and hum at the top of my lungs.
"This one reflects everything I"ve learned, ingested. It"s an indelible reflection of each face and story that touched my soul."
133ani *"I love you. Why do I ..." I whispered past the waterworks lump in my throat. Why do I have to be the one?
"I know, child. Only a Fenestra can transition another. If we die without help, the Fenestra energy changes form. We lose our numbers. It"s why we"re so few in this millennium. It"s why the Aternocti try to murder us or change us into one of them. It"s almost time for you to take your place. It"s nearly time for me to rise again. I want to see Charles in my next life."
I began pacing the floor. "But I don"t know everything yet. I can"t possibly -"
"You can and you will." The steel in her voice demanded that I simmer down. "You must go find more of us before they steal the last of us. We"re dying out, Meridian, and more souls will be trapped between, more life energy sucked into the dark forever by the Aternocti"
"How am I supposed to ..." I choked, barely able to catch my breath. Me. Out there. Hunted and hunting.
"If the Aternocti succeed in weeding out Fenestras, then they will have direct access to millions of innocent souls. Think of the energy. The destruction this could wreak. You must find us first. Help us. Teach us. Keep the lore, the history. Use your instincts and the help the Creators will send to guide you."
"But where are they? These other Fenestras? Why don"t they come here? To you?"
"Not everyone is as blessed as you are to have a family together, faithful to traditions and the old ways. People in this century prefer things they can see and touch. They don"t believe; they lose the stories, the magic. They don"t know what they are."
Heavy boots stamped on the porch. Tens shouted. "Just me," before he opened the door and marched in without his pack. "I"m sorry, it took longer than I thought." He didn"t bother to remove his boots, tracking bits of snow and mud along the hallway.
Auntie shooed me back to the kitchen. "Go feed him some of that cake. I"ll be right here by the fire."
The scent of pipe smoke and roses filled the hallway. "Tens, do you smoke?"
"Never. Why?"
"Does Auntie?"
"Not in front of me."
"Do you smell that?"
"Nope."
"Someone"s here. I"d swear someone smokes a pipe here all the time." A clatter above our 134 heads had us glancing up at the ceiling.
ani *"Stay down here." Ten said.
"No. I"m coming with you."
Even his sternest expression wouldn"t have allowed me to let him go up there alone. We got to the top of the stairs and everything seemed normal. The door to the room where I"d found the scissors was wide open.
I pointed, inching toward the doorway. Tens marched into the room. At first we didn"t see anything. Then Custos whined and dropped a pipe at my feet.
135ani *
Chapter 26.
That"s it." Excitement flooded through me.
"What?"
"Charles. He"s here. He stayed. He"s waiting for Auntie."
"What are you talking about? He"s gone."
"No, I don"t think he is. I think he"s been trying to tell me he"s still here. But why didn"t he use Auntie? That doesn"t make any sense."
Pounding on the front door had us scrambling out of the room and clambering down the stairs.
Tens swore. "It"s Perimo! What"s he doing here?"
"You"ll protect me?" I asked, and opened the door when he nodded.
"Good evening. I heard there was a bit of trouble up here. I thought I"d offer my services.
How is the elder Meridian handling things?"
Tens stood stiffly behind me. My instincts were screaming, but I couldn"t tell what they were saying. "She"s fine," I answered.
"Are you sure? I heard she was feeling poorly. Perhaps I could pray with her? There"s time yet to save her soul." Perimo stepped forward as if to enter the house.
I stood my ground and didn"t let him enter. "Time before what?"
"She"s not young. Miss Sozu. Time is running out for her."
I heard Auntie call out to us. Tens hesitated until I nudged him to go check on her. "What do you mean, time is running out?"
"It"s almost a new year, isn"t it? The dawn of a new day. I came to minister to her. As I minister to all my brethren."
I knew when Tens turned the corner behind me because the Reverend"s eyes darkened immediately. He drew himself up to tower over me. Fear struck me dumb.
Perimo"s voice grew low and scratchy. "The time is coming. The end is near. You don"t want to be rude to me."
"I don"t?" I asked 136a "Little children, it is the last time: And as ye have heard that antichrist shall come, even ni now are there many antichrists; whereby we know that it is the last time.""
*I slammed the door in his face. "Don"t come back!" Once I heard him finally walk down the porch steps, all I could do was rest my forehead against the door and wonder if he had the power to make me regret what I"d just done.
I found Tens in Auntie"s bedroom having a murmured conversation with her, the gist of which seemed to be about Auntie leaving us unprepared to defend ourselves. Tens couldn"t convince her she wasn"t, so I interrupted. "Can I do anything for you?"
Tens wouldn"t meet my eyes.
Auntie shook her head slightly and seemed to settle back into a half-sleep.
Ask her. Ask her. Ask her, "Auntie." I dragged a chair close and leaned toward her. "I need to ask you something."
She didn"t open her eyes. "What is it?"
"I think Charles is a ghost. I think he"s here."
"My Charles is gone, little one." She sighed.
"Let just say I"m right. Why hasn"t he gone through you?"
"He couldn"t ... in book ... energy changes ... invitation ..." With each word her voice became quieter, the effort greater.
"Auntie?" I asked.
Tens sidled closer. "She"s sleeping, Meridian. I don"t think she can answer you."
"What if I"m right?"
"Is there anything in the journal?" Tens asked.
"Let"s hope so." I raced out of the room to grab the book. I"d only read about a thumb"s width of pages. A lot of the handwriting was microscopic quill-and-ink script. It was like deciphering code.
I lugged the tome into the study and turned on a lamp, flipping through pages until my eyes crossed. Hours pa.s.sed. Custos wandered in and sat at my feet.
Tens brought in a pot of tea and more chocolate cake. "Can I help?"
"If I could divide the book up, sure." Of course, that wasn"t possible. "Just keep me company?"
"Sure," Tens settled next to me and extracted his whittling. Every few minutes he crept out 137a to check on Auntie.
ni *We drank the teapot dry. I tried not to watch the hands on the clock spin.
Finally. I heaved a frustrated sigh, ready to give up for the night.
"For what it"s worth. I think you"re on to something."
"Really?" I glanced at him.
"You have good instincts when you listen to them," He appeared sheepish. "And I had a dream about this. It"s a little deja vu. I didn"t know what we were searching for."
"Why didn"t you tell me?"
"I"m still figuring out how to tell dreams from visions. I thought maybe we were just sitting together. You know, cuddling." He blushed.
I giggled at his expression.
Hurt filled his eyes, and he started to draw away.
"Wait, no! I didn"t mean to laugh. I wasn"t laughing at you. I - you looked so cute saying the word "cuddling." I just didn"t-I didn"t expect it."
He nodded, but still stared down at his hands.
I opened to a random page in the journal. He needed to hear how I felt about him. "Tens. I like -" I gasped as the words under my fingers grabbed my attention. "Oh my G.o.d, that"s it. He needs an invitation."
"Show me." Tens leaned over the book with me.
"The energy of a dead soul weakens," I read aloud. "It needs to be asked to pa.s.s through the window. It needs to be coerced over, but it can rip the life energy out of the one transporting it. Fenestras must focus on the soul and -"
"It also says it"s dangerous and should only be attempted by Fenestras in their prime -"
Am I risking too much? "But -"
"Just consider it, okay? Stop and think about it. I can"t lose -"