"Neither can I, dear," Elizabeth said, ma.s.saging his back, sympathetically.

When he finally got to Taiwan, Michael simply refused to see his visiting family members. Bob Jones, his long-time publicist, was even a.s.signed the task of keeping them from him. Katherine was hurt. "Why does Elizabeth Taylor get to see him any time she wants," she complained, "but I have to make an appointment to see him for five minutes?"

Dealing with the allegations against Michael was hard on Katherine. It affected her blood pressure, and the family was worried about her. It was even tougher on her when she realized that she couldn"t see him, couldn"t comfort him. She and the family members felt isolated in the hotel, wondering when they would ever have a private audience with the King of Pop. Later, Jermaine would complain bitterly about it on The Larry King Show The Larry King Show. "Michael"s handlers don"t want us to get to him," he said.

As his family waited to see him, Michael had lunch with Elizabeth Taylor. Holding a messy slice of carrot cake with frosting in her hand, she urged him to eat it. He had lost six pounds since the second-leg of the tour began, just a short while ago in Bangkok. "Take this," she insisted. Michael sneered at the cake, seeming repulsed by the sight of it. "No, take it away," he said, begging her.

"Michael, if you don"t eat this cake, I swear to G.o.d, I will call your family in here and let them have a go at you," she warned. "And you know I"ll do it, too."



Michael laughed. "Give me that G.o.dd.a.m.n cake," he said, scooping it out of her hands. He wolfed it down.

"Good boy," she exclaimed with delight. "Good boy!"

The next day, Michael gave in and hosted a luncheon for Katherine, Joseph and the rest of his visiting family. Mostly, he sat in a corner quietly. Before the luncheon was over, though, Jermaine approached him about partic.i.p.ating in the upcoming Jackson Family television programme. No longer in a position to avoid the question, he agreed.

By the fall of 1993, as the legal manoeuvrings continued, Michael was in worse shape than ever, physically and emotionally. He was devastated by an interview with Evan and Jordie although neither was identified by name. "I imagine Michael Jackson is pretty scared right now, really scared," the kid was quoted as having said. "And he should be, because what he did to me is a really bad thing. Michael hasn"t called me or anything..."

June and Dave Schwartz decided to align with Evan against Michael. It was said by her friends that June feared reprisals from Evan if she continued to oppose him. She thought it possible that if Michael was found guilty, Evan might then accuse her of neglect. Meanwhile, her lawyer, Michael Freeman, quit saying that he was "uncomfortable" with her decision and had a bad feeling about Evan, whom he later described as "not a genuine person".

Then surprisingly, Evan"s lawyer Barry Rothman resigned from the case too and was replaced by civil attorney, Larry Feldman. So it was on 14 September 1993, Evan Chandler filed a civil suit against Michael for the s.e.xual molestation of his son. It was effectively an insurance policy should the criminal system not work for him. Plus, it was a sure way to see that Michael paid in financial terms for what Evan said he had done to Jordie. Jordie would be represented in the legal action by attorney Feldman, who said at the time, "Michael was in love with the boy. It was a gentle, soft, caring, warm, sweet relationship." Larry also believed his client when told that the relationship was s.e.xual, thus the lawsuit.

Though the lawsuit seemed to double the trouble for Michael, some of his advisers hoped it might actually provide a catalyst to end the matter. If the lawsuit could be settled with money, they reasoned, the police investigation might go away, as well. Though a trial for the civil case was set for 21 March 1994, there was still hope that a deal could be brokered before that time. There was a sense that Evan Chandler would accept money from Michael, and with good reason. They had already tried to negotiate a deal with him, albeit unsuccessfully, when he originally asked for twenty million dollars, before he went to the authorities. The problem, though, was that it was well-known within Michael"s camp that he would never pay Evan a dime. Michael still maintained his innocence in the matter and was certain that any cash settlement would suggest otherwise; he wasn"t going to do it, not without a fight. However, it was decided, as one adviser put it, "to cross that bridge when we come to it."

Though some secretly felt the matter might actually be settled given a little time and a lot of cash, others in the: Jackson camp weren"t as optimistic. According to a person familiar with the case, Elizabeth telephoned Michael to tell him that "things do not look good back here." She said, "You"ve got to take action." Michael asked for details, telling her not to "hold anything back". She said, "All h.e.l.l is breaking loose."

Recalled one of Michael"s representatives, "Miss Taylor and I were on speaker phone with Michael. Michael was crying, asking, "What should I do? What can I do?" She became impatient. "Michael, you mustn"t subst.i.tute my judgement for your own," she said. "You need to stop freaking out. You need to take charge of your life.""

In August 1994, Michael would tell me, "I swear to you, I didn"t know how bad things were. If I had known, maybe things would have been handled differently." It does seem, in retrospect, that he knew more than he said he did, and was actually just in a state of denial about it.

Elizabeth told him that, in her view, no one was handling matters for him in the States in a way that would benefit him. "I think they need to be kicking a.s.s, and they"re not," she said. "Thenyou be the one kicking a.s.s, Elizabeth," Michael said. At that, I cringed," recounted the adviser. "All we needed to make things worse was Elizabeth Taylor handling the defence. Much to my chagrin, and that of others on Michael"s team, Miss Taylor offered to hold strategy meetings at her home two or three times a week, and then report back to Michael what had been said, and by whom." be the one kicking a.s.s, Elizabeth," Michael said. At that, I cringed," recounted the adviser. "All we needed to make things worse was Elizabeth Taylor handling the defence. Much to my chagrin, and that of others on Michael"s team, Miss Taylor offered to hold strategy meetings at her home two or three times a week, and then report back to Michael what had been said, and by whom."

In the next few weeks, Elizabeth Taylor hosted many conferences at her house with about ten of Michael"s team and was often critical of those handling Michael"s public relations, though not so much his legal defence. Some on Michael"s team did not want to attend the Elizabeth Taylor summits, protesting that for a movie star to have such control over his career was ridiculous. They dubbed her "Queen of the Defence". In truth, she wasn"t spearheading any legal tactics, as much as providing a forum for attorneys, publicists and other strategists to brainstorm so she could then keep Michael apprised of their view points. Of course, some of Michael"s staff did not wish to attend Elizabeth"s meetings for fear of a negative report being sent back to the boss.

During one meeting, Elizabeth said, "I"m afraid he will never sell another record again if we can"t get this G.o.dd.a.m.ned ridiculousness straightened out. I think we have to make sure there"s something left for Michael after this is resolved."

"He just might be in jail after this G.o.dd.a.m.ned ridiculousness is resolved," muttered one of Michael"s advisers.

Elizabeth looked down and scribbled on her legal pad. She then looked back at the adviser. "I just made a note to remember to tell Michael you said that," she told him.

He lowered his head, duly chastised.

Anthony Pellicano simply refused to attend the Taylor meetings. "What are you, kidding me?" he asked when asked why he wasn"t present. "I"m f.u.c.king busy. I"m out here working for Michael. I don"t have time for tea with movie stars."

Elizabeth was unhappy with Anthony, anyway. "He"s not a team player," she said. "We can"t keep track of him. He does his own thing in his own way, and we don"t know what he"s thinking. I don"t like it. He makes me nervous."

During another of her home meetings, Elizabeth, Sandy Gallin (Michael"s manager at the time) and Howard Weitzman telephoned Michael overseas to discuss the matter of Anthony. According to a witness, all three were on "speaker phone", talking to Michael.

"Look, Mike, maybe he has to go," Howard said of Pellicano. "I like the guy, but I"m not sure about him, any more..."

"I think so, too," Elizabeth concurred. "Absolutely."

"Well, I"ve had my run-ins with him, too," Michael admitted. He sounded lethargic, drugged. He said that while he admired Anthony, he still felt that his idea to present Wade Robson and Brett Barnes to the public wasn"t a good one. He felt that the investigator should have checked with him first before exploiting the youngsters. "And it really p.i.s.ses me off that guy tries to tell me me what to do," Michael said, "like I work for him instead of the other way around. And, also," he concluded, "I think he scares the public, he"s that intimidating. John Branca, now what to do," Michael said, "like I work for him instead of the other way around. And, also," he concluded, "I think he scares the public, he"s that intimidating. John Branca, now he"s he"s a good spokesman." Indeed, after having let him go so unceremoniously, Michael had recently asked John to return to the fold. He knew he could always count on him and, of course, he was right: Branca was back and loyal as ever. a good spokesman." Indeed, after having let him go so unceremoniously, Michael had recently asked John to return to the fold. He knew he could always count on him and, of course, he was right: Branca was back and loyal as ever.

After that conversation, Michael wrote a detailed memo to Howard Weitzman explaining why he believed he and John should take over as his spokesmen. He told him that he trusted them, they were believable, and had the respect of the legal profession unlike Anthony Pellicano who he now felt was perceived as being a man on the edge, a rebel. "If Anthony worked for Motown," Michael observed, "he"d be someone Berry would keep behind the scenes. Having him out there speaking for me now is almost like having Joseph out there. He"s intimidating. Right now, we don"t need that."

Michael Proposes to Lisa Marie.

It was difficult to imagine how things could get much worse for Michael Jackson in the fall of 1993. In just a matter of months he had, without a doubt, experienced the "swift and sudden fall from grace", he would later write about in his self-revealing song, "Stranger in Moscow".

Certainly, no one had counted on Michael becoming addicted to drugs, thereby raising the stakes in terms of the precarious nature of his future and well-being. Yet, anxious, unable to sleep and, he said, in pain because of dental work and a recent surgery to his scalp (a consequence of the burn he suffered during that Pepsi commercial), Michael began taking more of the painkillers, Percodan, Demerol and codeine, as well as tranquillizers Valium, Xanax and Ativan. Such dependence was uncharted terrain for him. In the past, he had made an effort to not over-medicate during recovery from plastic surgeries, explaining to doctors that he wanted to remain "sharp" for the purpose of making sound business and career decisions. However, with all that was going on in his life at this time, Michael no longer cared to be quite so focused. In fact, he wanted to forget, escape. It didn"t take long before he was completely dependent on the drugs. It happened so quickly that his team in the United States didn"t even realize what was going on with Michael, until it was too late to do anything about it.

Everyone was stunned to learn that Michael had a problem with drugs. Of course, Elizabeth Taylor understood and had empathy for his plight. She"d been there, with her own, well-publicized battles. Lisa Marie Presley was also sympathetic; she, too, was a recovering addict.

"When I was a teenager, I was completely out of control," she told me. "I started doing drugs when I was fourteen. I had been spinning for quite some time, years, when I finally hit bottom. That was when I found myself on a seventy-two-hour bender of cocaine, sedatives, pot and drinking, all at the same time. I woke up and there were all of these people, friends of mine, pa.s.sed out on the floor. My c.o.ke dealer was in the room trying to sell me more stuff. I just said, "That"s it. Everybody get the f.u.c.k out." I don"t know why I got addicted, I just know that I was going to die if I didn"t get help. Finally, my mother and I decided I would go to the Scientology Center in Hollywood for detoxification. It saved my life."

When Michael telephoned Lisa from overseas in September 1993, he was high, incoherent and delusional. Alarmed, Lisa attempted to convince Michael to do as she had once done, enter a rehabilitation centre. For Lisa, the quest to pull a drug-addled superstar back from the edge had great significance. She had shared with friends earlier the guilt she had suffered as a child, seeing her father falling into his own bottomless pit of addiction. She was still married to Danny Keough, but unhappily. She was restless and felt that she had no real purpose; she wanted more than motherhood, she said. Michael"s dilemma seemed to provide an outlet for her. "Absolutely, I felt that I had a responsibility responsibility to save him," she said. "I don"t know the psychology of it and what it had to do with my father. I only know what I felt." to save him," she said. "I don"t know the psychology of it and what it had to do with my father. I only know what I felt."

There was one major obstacle that lay before Lisa if she was going to help quiet the demons haunting Michael: access. It was well known that Jackson had done a very thorough job of insulating himself from the outside world. Often, he would start casual relationships with people, many of whom were certain that their relationship would grow, only to find that Michael had left them behind. Calls would go unanswered, sometimes letters would be returned, unread. Lisa had heard of Michael"s reputation for tossing aside new-found "soul mates", and saw this pattern as a liability if she was going to complete her task of rebuilding his crumbling life. She would have to proceed with caution.

In her frequent telephone calls to him, Lisa maintained that Michael could not go on much longer with his personal life and career in such disarray. He was immobilized by uncertainty and a sense of hopelessness, which had contributed to his addiction. She suggested to him the idea others in his camp had begun to secretly discuss: that Michael end his misery with a cash settlement to Evan Chandler. Michael was, predictably, against the idea. A man who"d been building an image for himself since the time most children were building tree houses, Michael cared deeply about what people thought of him. Even if the image he had fostered over the years was, arguably, not the best one for him, it was was the result of a great deal of strategizing on his part, and on that of his handlers. "He felt that this thing of him being wacky and weird and crazy worked for him," Lisa recalled, "and maybe for a time, it did. I don"t know. I was always against it. I always thought he was bigger, better, than the image. I always thought the image did him an injustice." the result of a great deal of strategizing on his part, and on that of his handlers. "He felt that this thing of him being wacky and weird and crazy worked for him," Lisa recalled, "and maybe for a time, it did. I don"t know. I was always against it. I always thought he was bigger, better, than the image. I always thought the image did him an injustice."

One thing was certain: by 1993 Michael was lonelier than he"d ever before been, and that was really saying something. He had to face the fact that his career, his most enduring pa.s.sion, was in jeopardy, a possible fatality either of an unlawful, immoral love affair with a minor or of poor judgement in having aligned himself so stubbornly with the wrong people and at the wrong time. If he wouldn"t settle with money, Lisa suggested rehab at the very least. She cared deeply about him, she told him, and she wanted to be sure he knew it.

One night, while abroad, Michael found himself, as he often would, feeling trapped in a plush hotel suite, alone with the constant drone of a chanting crowd below his room. After a string of phone calls from lawyers and publicists, Michael decided to calm himself by calling the one person who could somehow help him forget that his career hung in the balance: Lisa.

She had certainly been persistent in her pursuit of him. She left telephone numbers for a house she was renting in Canoga Park, California.

She also left the number of the new three-acre estate which she had just purchased and was getting ready to occupy on Long Valley Road in Hidden Hills (an exclusive gate-guarded equestrian community in Calabasas, California, where she still lives, today).

Then, just to be sure, she left the number where she could be reached in Clearwater, Florida, where she was planning to spend time at the Scientology retreat. She even sent him party balloons with messages attached. Somehow, she could always put a smile on his face, even if it was just her raspy voice proclaiming, "Oh, f.u.c.k them!" He found her in Canoga Park.

Michael valued Lisa"s settling effect on him, so much so that during his phone conversation, he posed a question that surprised both of them. "If I asked you to marry me, would you do it?" Was this a joke? A hypothetical? Or was it a dare for Lisa to take him seriously? If it was a dare, Lisa was just the woman to take it even though she was still married to Danny Keough. Without missing a beat, she replied, "I would do it." Michael didn"t say a word, at first. He then said, "Hold on, I have to use the bathroom."

When he finally did speak into the phone again, he was speaking to his new fiancee. "My love for you is real," Michael told Lisa. "Please believe me." Michael didn"t realize, however, that whether or not Michael loved her wasn"t the real real issue for Lisa. His proposal served a greater purpose. It would give her access, she hoped, to enter his secret world. Then, from the inside, she would begin to put the pieces of this broken man together, and this time she would not fail. issue for Lisa. His proposal served a greater purpose. It would give her access, she hoped, to enter his secret world. Then, from the inside, she would begin to put the pieces of this broken man together, and this time she would not fail.

"You"ll all be fired"

By the time Michael Jackson"s tour took him to Mexico City, on 24 October 1993, there was talk of a pending warrant for a police strip search of his body. This seemed odd, almost unthinkable. Making matters worse, the Los Angeles Police Department had seized medical records from the offices of two of Jackson"s physicians, Beverly Hills dermatologist, Arnie Kleins and Santa Monica plastic surgeon, Stephen Hoefflin. "What do they want my medical records for?" a bewildered Michael asked one of his team members in a longdistance telephone call. "They can"t do that, can they?"

"h.e.l.l, yeah, man, they can do that," confirmed the a.s.sociate. "They think they can do anything they want to do. When the rest of the troops get down there, you"d better whip them into shape. Things are bad here, Mike."

The records were needed to verify aspects of Jordie"s testimony. Did the authorities really think such doc.u.ments would still be in place? All of Michael"s medical records from both doctors were long gone by the time the police arrived to take them. * * Still, one can only imagine the stress for a person as pathologically private as Michael Jackson, to know that the police were trying to locate his confidential medical records. Still, one can only imagine the stress for a person as pathologically private as Michael Jackson, to know that the police were trying to locate his confidential medical records.

The heat was on. The investigation would not let up, that much was clear.

At this same time, the police raided Michael"s Hayvenhurst estate in Encino. When the Jacksons went to Phoenix for the funeral of Joseph"s father, the police used the opportunity to inspect the estate and look for evidence there. A locksmith helped them gain entrance.

The officers seized books, magazines, photos, tapes and anything else they thought might be interesting including Katherine"s high blood pressure pills. They also found a videotape called Chicks Chicks, which promised to be valuable evidence since the slang word "chicks" is sometimes used by paedophiles when referring to young boys. When the cops got back to the police station, the first thing they did was review the tape. Much to their frustration, what they saw was a video about... chicks, as in birds.

The "troops" to which Michael"s adviser had referred were those Jackson team members on their way to Mexico City: attorneys John Branca, Howard Weitzman, Bert Fields, as well as Dr Arnold Klein (to deal with a skin condition brought on by Jackson"s anxiety) and Elizabeth Taylor. They hoped to convince Michael to return to the States. The longer he stayed away the guiltier he looked to his fans. Lisa Marie Presley also hoped to go on the trip.

For the last few years, Elizabeth had been trying to convince Michael to open himself up to a romantic relationship. However, when it began to happen with Lisa, she suddenly felt left out. "She has a deep insecurity about other women, especially younger women," says a friend of Michael"s. "I spent a great deal of time in her company and saw for myself the compet.i.tive way she dealt with Lisa."

One of Jackson"s a.s.sociates was with Elizabeth and Lisa during a meeting. Both were sitting in the adviser"s office, discussing their concern about Michael. Elizabeth looked grand in a black, turtleneck sweater and matching skirt, her hair in a bouffant style. Her eyes, the world"s most famous violet pair, were concealed by large sungla.s.ses, which she even wore indoors. By contrast, Lisa looked like a punk rocker in torn denim slacks, a white T-shirt and a black leather jacket. ("I can understand if she doesn"t want to be a star like her father," Elizabeth said of Lisa, later. "However, one would think she would at least want to dress dress like one.") like one.") "I think we should get him into rehab," Lisa said, speaking of the beleaguered Michael. "Fly to be at his side. Do whatever it takes."

Liz gave Lisa an icy stare. "It"s taken care of, dear," she said. "I"ve been rescuing Michael for years."

"Well, maybe that"s the problem," Lisa countered. "Maybe he needs to grow up, do things on his own "

Elizabeth cut her off. "Or maybe not not, dear," she said. With her tone sickeningly sweet, she made her point: Lisa was an interloper. Perhaps she realized she"d acted rudely, because Elizabeth then apologized and blamed her att.i.tude on the stress of the times.

Still, Lisa was chagrined and felt that Elizabeth had treated her as if she was one of Michael"s groupies, rather than a trusted friend. She decided not to go to Mexico City because, as she later explained, she didn"t want to make things worse for Michael. However, from that point onward, Lisa considered Elizabeth to be, as she put it, "opposing counsel".

Shortly after the arrival of the Jackson contingent, a shouting match erupted between Bert Fields and Michael"s loyal head of security, Bill Bray (who had known and worked for Michael since the star was about twelve years old). The protective Bray accused Fields of mishandling the case. In front of witnesses, he screamed at the attorney, "You"re blowing the whole d.a.m.n thing! Mike is gonna end up in jail. What is going on?"

One witness said, "Elizabeth agreed with Bill that the attorneys weren"t being aggressive enough. It was as if they were waiting for time to pa.s.s to see what would happen next. "You need to get out there and start deposing these people," she said. "There are liars all over the place, and they need to be revealed for who they are... all these housekeepers and maids and butlers. I know good help is hard to find, Michael," she said turning to him, "but where did you find these these people? Look at how they turned on you." Michael sat staring at her with his mouth open. "My maid turned on me?" he said. "Not my sweet Blanca?" he asked, sounding pretty dumb. [He was referring to his maid, Blanca Francia.] people? Look at how they turned on you." Michael sat staring at her with his mouth open. "My maid turned on me?" he said. "Not my sweet Blanca?" he asked, sounding pretty dumb. [He was referring to his maid, Blanca Francia.]

"Where she once felt that Michael was capable of taking charge, she could see that he was now in bad shape. He was so drugged out, he couldn"t handle anything. "I think now that he can"t make important decisions," she said. "Look at him! What do you expect of him? I"ve been there," she said, referring to her own drug use, "and I know he can"t make any decisions right now. We have to help this boy. Enough is enough."

"She was angry at just about everyone in Michael"s camp. Michael was so affected by Elizabeth"s outburst, he collapsed into racking sobs. "What am I going do?" he asked. "If you people can"t figure this G.o.dd.a.m.n thing out, how can I?" Elizabeth went over and embraced him. "We"re fighting, Michael, but it"s because we love you," she said, almost as if she was talking to a child whose parents were divorcing. It was touching. "And I"ll be G.o.dd.a.m.ned if you have to suffer another second over this bulls.h.i.t. We will work it out. I promise you.""

Michael pulled away from Elizabeth. "I want you people to fix this thing, now," he said, addressing everyone in the room. "I"m serious," he added. "My life will not end this way. You"ll all be out fired fired before that happens." before that happens."

"Hear, hear," said Elizabeth, clapping her hands. "That"s telling "em, Michael. Right out on their a.s.ses!" Then, after a beat, she added, "Just to be clear, you don"t mean me too, now do you, dear?"

He couldn"t help himself; Michael burst into laughter, as did everyone on his team.

After that day"s discussions, it was decided that attorney Johnnie Cochran, well respected in Los Angeles" black and legal communities, would be added to the legal team. Elizabeth had said that she wanted her own attorney, Neal Papiano, to join the team. However, she eventually agreed with Branca and Weitzman that Cochran (who would later successfully defend O. J. Simpson of charges that he had murdered his wife and a friend of hers) was the man for the job. Johnnie would have one job and only one job: to settle "this G.o.dd.a.m.n thing" with money. There would be no trial, it was agreed. Michael would not, could could not survive it. He was now too emotionally devastated to present a strong image for himself on the witness stand. Whatever it would cost, it was decided, he would have to pay it. If the public construed any financial settlement as an indication of guilt, it was decided, there was nothing anyone could do about it. "He will just have to say he didn"t do it, as he has been saying, and that"s going to have to be the denial that lasts through the ages," said one of the attorneys. "The thing for us to do now is to save the man"s life, not worry about the superstar"s image." not survive it. He was now too emotionally devastated to present a strong image for himself on the witness stand. Whatever it would cost, it was decided, he would have to pay it. If the public construed any financial settlement as an indication of guilt, it was decided, there was nothing anyone could do about it. "He will just have to say he didn"t do it, as he has been saying, and that"s going to have to be the denial that lasts through the ages," said one of the attorneys. "The thing for us to do now is to save the man"s life, not worry about the superstar"s image."

Chaos and Rehab.

On 12 November 1993, looking thin, tired and haggard, Michael Jackson performed what would turn out to be the final show of his Dangerous tour at El Estadio del Azteca in Mexico City. The rest of the engagements were cancelled.

Apparently, Michael"s mental state had truly disintegrated while in Mexico City; the damage to his $12,000-a-week, five-room suite on the forty-second floor of the Hotel Presidente was evidence of his serious abuse of drugs. After he checked out, the hotel staff was stunned to discover that the carpets in the living room and in Michael"s bedrooms were stained with vomit. There were deep dents and cracks in the plaster of the living-room wall, as if someone had either banged his head, or his fists, against it. There was enough rubbish in the room to fill two large, trash bags. There were scribblings on the walls ("I love you. I love you."), and even on the fabric of some of the furniture. Chewing gum was squashed into the carpet, everywhere.

After the final show, Michael, Elizabeth and Larry boarded an MGM Grand 727 jet, chartered for the occasion by Elizabeth, to London. When they arrived at Heathrow Airport, bodyguard Steve Tarling met them at the tarmac. All three had on dark gla.s.ses and long coats with hoods covering their heads, as if on some kind of espionage mission. Michael seemed drugged as he walked to the waiting van, held up on one side by a cloaked Elizabeth and on the other by her husband. "He looked like a transvest.i.te who"d had the same makeup on for a couple of weeks," recalled Tarling. "What shocked me most was the tip of his nose, which was like an open cut when it congeals into a scab. It looked awfully painful."

The strategy had been to drive Michael directly to Charter Nightingale Clinic. However, that plan had to be changed when it was learned that reporters had begun to stake out the hospital because word had leaked that Michael might be showing up there. Instead, Michael was whisked off to the home of Elton John"s manager, John Reid.

He didn"t even make it inside the house. As he stepped from the van, he crumpled on to the ground. "That"s it," Elizabeth decided. "The press be d.a.m.ned. He has to go straight to the clinic. Now."

In a matter of hours, Michael was at the Charter, taken in through the laundry entrance in what turned out to be a successful effort to avoid the paparazzi awaiting his arrival in front. He was immediately searched for drugs and, sure enough, eighteen vials of medicine were found in one of his suitcases. Of course, they were confiscated. After a quick induction meeting, Michael was officially enrolled in the centre albeit in a way befitting the King of Pop: he took over the entire fourth floor of the hospital, at fifty thousand dollars a week, and was expected to remain there for about a month and a half. Michael was immediately put on Valium IV, part of the process of weaning him from painkillers.

The next day, 13 November, Michael announced in a press statement that he was cancelling the remainder of the tour because he was now an addict. He explained that he had begun using painkillers seven months earlier after having undergone reconstructive surgery for a scalp burn suffered during the filming of the Pepsi commercial in 1984. "The medications were used sparingly at first," Michael said, but increased as the molestation allegations consumed him.

"As I left on this tour, I had been the target of an extortion attempt and shortly thereafter was accused of horrifying and outrageous conduct. I was humiliated, embarra.s.sed, hurt and suffering great pain in my heart," he said in the statement. "The pressure resulting from these false allegations coupled with the incredible energy necessary for me to perform caused me so much distress that it left me physically and emotionally exhausted. I became dependent on the painkillers to get through the days of the tour." Of Elizabeth Taylor, he said that she"d been "a source of strength and counsel as this crisis came about. I shall never forget her unconditional love and encouragement in helping me through this period."

Many observers felt that the drug addiction was a perfectly timed hoax designed solely to keep Michael away from the United States and, thus, allow him to evade prosecution. Bert Fields addressed the cynicism directly, saying, "The last thing in the world he would want would be the humiliation of admitting that he has become an addict. He"s a man who has hated drugs all his life. If we wanted a smoke screen," allowed Bert, "we would have stayed on tour. That was the perfect one." Bert also told reporters that Michael was "barely able to function adequately on an intellectual level."

Others in Jackson"s camp thought it a mistake to portray Michael as being out of control. John Branca would later send a news clipping to Michael quoting Bert as having made such a statement. Michael was angry about it, even if it was true. "That p.i.s.ses me off," he told John. "Bert"s not thinking about my fans. How does that look to them? And my mother? How must she feel?" In his own defence, Bert explained, "I felt that honesty was important. Larry [Feldman] was trying to make a case that Michael wanted to evade prosecution. I wanted to dispel that notion."

It was true that Larry Feldman had encouraged the critical press to be sceptical of Michael"s motives in cancelling the tour, particularly because it happened just prior to its Puerto Rico date. It was was suspicious. Puerto Rico is a United States territory. Michael could have been arrested there under United States law. All of this was occurring against a backdrop of persistent news reports that Jordie Chandler had described Michael"s genitals in detail, and the authorities were serious about having Michael stripped and photographed so that they could inspect hidden evidence. "You"ve got to be kidding," exclaimed Howard Weitzman when asked about it at a press conference. suspicious. Puerto Rico is a United States territory. Michael could have been arrested there under United States law. All of this was occurring against a backdrop of persistent news reports that Jordie Chandler had described Michael"s genitals in detail, and the authorities were serious about having Michael stripped and photographed so that they could inspect hidden evidence. "You"ve got to be kidding," exclaimed Howard Weitzman when asked about it at a press conference.

Meanwhile, Michael got his first taste of much-needed counselling.

Rehabilitation is never easy, but it"s even more challenging for people who have lived privileged lives. During his first night there, he roamed the halls asking other patients if they knew "a secret way to get out of here". He didn"t want to listen to the authorities. No one told him what to do in his private world, and he expected that it would be the same at Charter. It wasn"t. Soon, he found himself mopping floors, which he hadn"t done since he lived in Gary.

In the days to come, group therapy also proved to be difficult. Michael had never been in any type of therapy programme. How could he now be expected to sit in a room full of strangers and be candid about his personal life?

Led by well-known therapist Beechy Colclough, Michael"s private sessions were more intense and productive than the group ones, during which he hardly spoke for fear that someone there might go to the tabloids. It was during private sessions, according to someone still close to Michael, that he began to finally deal with the root of so many of his problems: his anger at Joseph. It was a fine line, though, between blaming his father for everything that had ever happened in his life and taking responsibility for some of it, himself. In the past, Michael had never been one to own up to his actions, always intent on blaming family members, the press and even his fans for actions that have caused him unhappiness.

"In therapy, he began to see that he was his own worst enemy," said his a.s.sociate. "It was slow-going, though. He was not eager to accept that he could change his life if he would just change his mind about it. Old habits die hard. He was determined to dwell on his lost childhood, on how mean Joseph had been to him, how cruel Evan had been to him. He practically equated them as one and the same."

After many hours of therapy at Charter, it seemed as if Michael had a sudden rush of clarity. "It"s me," he told his a.s.sociate. "It"s not Joseph. It"s me. Not Evan. I"m the one who blew it, and I need to start over again. I want another chance."

"You can have it, Michael," said his a.s.sociate.

"I deserve it," Michael said, crying. "Do you still believe I am innocent?"

"I do."

Michael didn"t say anything for a few moments. Then, finally: "When I get out of here, I"m starting over. Let"s end this thing with Evan. I want my life back." He always referred to the molestation business as a matter having to do with Evan Chandler because, in his mind, Jordie could never have truly been behind what he viewed as a nefarious plot against him.

Back in the States on 23 November, Bert Fields made what some thought was another serious blunder when, while standing in front of a judge and arguing the motion to have Michael"s civil case delayed to the year 2000 the year the criminal statute of limitations would expire he indicated that a Grand Jury was about to convene in Santa Barbara, and that a criminal indictment against Michael was imminent. Though Bert claimed that he got his information from Howard Weitzman, it was news to everyone in Jackson"s camp that an indictment was "imminent". Bert"s reason for making the statement, as he later explained, was that he felt the civil suit should be delayed so that any impending criminal case could be tried first. He wanted to prevent information obtained for the criminal case from being used against Jackson in the civil suit. He was being a good lawyer. However, the strategy did serve to make Michael look as if he was trying to evade responsibility, at least in the eyes of the suspicious public and cynical media.

Immediately afterwards, Howard Weitzman attempted to deflect Bert Fields" comments. With a chagrined-looking Bert standing next to him, Howard said that Bert had "misspoke himself". No Grand Jury was convening at that moment; no indictment was "imminent". Who knows what kind of behind-the-scenes battles the two attorneys were having, but there was obviously a communication problem between them, one that served to make Michael look like he was trying to weasel out of the civil trial.

"I don"t want to start more trouble," John Branca told Michael, according to his memory. "But you know that people here think you"re trying to delay the trial for six years?"

"Six years? What are you talking about, Branca?" Michael wanted to know. "I don"t want to delay the trial, not even a day."

John explained to Michael what happened in Los Angeles between the other two attorneys. "No way, Branca," Michael said of Bert"s strategy. "That"s not what I want. I"m not guilty. I want this over with." He was angry. "What"s Bert doing? No wonder everyone thinks I"m running scared."

Later that same day, Michael came up with a pretty good line when talking to another a.s.sociate on the telephone: "I got a ship of fools representing me, and we"re all going down."

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