He grabbed her hand and continued to walk side by side at the sun in the west prepared to retire for the day.At around half past four in the afternoon, the two sat on a bench overlooking a manmade pond. Some ducks floated by the sh.o.r.e in groups of three. Some floated near the middle of the pond.
Kang Sola wanted to ask Guangxi what"s going on, but she refrained from doing so. Her heart drummed that it disrupted her normal train of thoughts.
This version of Guangxi alienated her. It was foreign to her. She could not tell whether he"s just pranking her or being genuinely serious.
They sat in silence at first. Some birds squawked in the distance and cicadas started to sing their afternoon lullaby.
They sat right next to each other, without talking, yet Xue Guangxi never let go of Kang Sola"s hand which now rested on his lap, clasped by both his hands.
"I think you know it already, but I still want to say it directly. I like you, Sola." He said it in one breathing. He rubbed his thumb on the back of her captured hand. While saying his confession, his eyes full of sadness stared at the horizon.
Kang Sola bit her lower lip and remained silent.
"I know you wouldn"t want any of it." Xue Guangxi continued. "And…"
"I"ll stop right here."
"This would be the first and last instance that I would tell you about it. After today just forget about it."
"I"m leaving."
Kang Sola could not believe her ears. Xue Guangxi blabbered one mind-blowing thing after another.
"!!!"
Kang Sola turned her whole upper body towards Xue Guangxi and faced him. "You"re leaving? What do you mean by that?"
Xue Guangxi did not fail to notice that Kang Sola did not react to his confession at all. It somehow made him even sadder.
"Remember, I"m supposed to go and study abroad? I"m going to pursue it." He retorted, direct to the point.
"When are you leaving?"
"Tomorrow."
"So soon? Why is it so sudden?"
"I discovered some things I would never want to know about two weeks ago. My world has become so small that it"s getting hard to breathe. I can"t breathe, can"t live in it. So I decided to leave and start afresh somewhere else."
"I looked like a fool, trying to win the trust and acceptance of the people that the girl I like treasures. It took me a while to realize that those are the same people who…"
He trailed off, seemingly realizing that his next words might hurt Kang Sola.
"I"ve always liked you, but…"
"I will remember this day forever. Thank you for spending your precious time with me. The flowers, clothes, and other things are yours. Those are my last gifts to you. Keep them, throw them away – it"s up to you."
"I don"t know when I"m going back. Maybe I won"t come back."
All this time, Xue Guangxi never looked at Kang Sola. He maintained his gaze at the fiery hue of pink and purple and orange twilight skyline.
Kang Sola exhaled sharply. "I learned some nasty things, too. I heard about what happened to you years ago and who…"
"It"s so difficult to talk about it." She added. Some things couldn"t be openly discussed even between the best of friends.
"Yeah." The lad agreed.
"Well, we shouldn"t if we"re both not comfortable around that topic, right?"
"If you leave now after saying that you like me and after all those discoveries, what would that make me? I feel bad for you, Guangxi. I have never felt your pain this much. I apologize for him. I wish I can apologize in his stead. But I don"t think such apologies should be taken lightly."
"I thought before that you"re just a shallow rich kid who only knows how to break hearts and grumble."
"Well, that"s harsh. Is that your first impression of me?"
"No, second. My first impression of you was that you"re a jerk who smells like trouble."
Xue Guangxi chuckled a bit. "It isn"t any better."
Then he sighed. "Well, I guess that"s what I had become."
"You know how much I abhor his existence?" Xue Guangxi thought he could open up a bit to his best friend even if he"s talking about someone she knew.
"You understand where I am coming from, right?"
"Him and all those who had helped him take advantage of me. Jingjing, too." Xue Guangxi whispered the name softly.
"En. I understand." Kang Sola studied Xue Guangxi"s rugged face, then wrapped her arms around his neck. "I am really sorry, Guangxi. I hope that your wounds from that incident would heal over time. I"m sorry." She bit her lower lip, controlling her own emotions.
"Are we still friends?" Kang Sola asked anxiously. She pulled away from her comforting hug and sat properly.
"Sure. It"s just that I would have to really keep distance and lie low for a bit."
"Are you really… his sister? Your father and his father… It"s the same person. You"re a s.h.i.+?"
"En."
"Then, brother-in-law…"
"En."
Xue Guangxi scowled at the air. "Xu-Jie doesn"t seem to know it yet."
"Not yet. Linyun-Ge"s already getting sick out of anxiety and stress. You know how much he loves her. He"s so scared of the consequences. They"re just starting a family. They waited so long for the children to come to their lives. To think that they almost broke up before… They"ve gone through a lot already."
"I think, Linyun-Ge will not be able to survive if… well, if things get awry between them."
"He couldn"t tell her right now. He"s worried about Jie-Jie"s condition. He"s worried about lots of things, too. He thinks that Jie-Jie would hate him, and the kids."
"Is it possible for a mother to despise her own kids?" Kang Sola muttered to herself. "But my Ge-ge is a good person."
"Do you hate me just because I am his sister?"
"I don"t hate you but…"
"You can"t look at me in the eyes anymore." Kang Sola completed his statement for him.
"It"s odd how fate plays with us." Xue Guangxi rubbed his face roughly. "So messed up. Well, my sister isn"t that faint-hearted. Unlike me. Hehe."
"She"ll manage to get out of this mess and untangle the knots one by one. She always does the right things." Xue Guangxi relayed his high regard for his mighty sister.
"Will I really not see you again?" Kang Sola asked desolately. "You know you"re an important person to me, right?"
The boy chuckled. "He. He. He. But not important enough to reciprocate my feelings."
"Guangxi." Kang Sola reprimanded him.
"I know. After today, you can forget about it. I"ll be gone anyway. But let me do this even just for today." He grabbed Kang Sola"s hand again.
"Okay."
The two stared at the horizon glumly as they spent the last of their moments together.