Milady's Fine Gentleman

That was weeks ago. It was currently July.

Chen Linyun and Xue Jinxu had pa.s.sed another milestone in their marriage – their third anniversary – apart. Three years ago in June, they tied the knot impulsively one day, just the two of them.

Three years after, that same day pa.s.sed as if it was just an ordinary day for the couple.

Chen Linyun went to the office in the morning and worked his a.s.s off, and by night time he drank with his buddies, Mo Wenbin and Zhu Li Qiang.

Xue Jinxu mostly spent her time inside her room in the Xue Mansion while listening to calming cla.s.sical music. Sometimes, she revisited her canva.s.ses and started to paint again. It helped calm her nerves.

As much as possible she did not want to think, but she still wanted to get the bottom of it.

Yet, she refused any communication with her spouse.

Chen Linyun respected what Xue Jinxu had wanted. It wasn"t the first time that Xue Jinxu asked for s.p.a.ce. Like the doting husband that he was, he would give what she would have wanted.

Even divorce.

Chen Linyun had wanted to explain his side to Xue Jinxu, but then he realized, what"s there to explain?

He knew too well what the ending would be once Xue jinxu learns the truth. That said, he initiated the painful procedure of divorce.

One hot summer day in June, Xue Jinxu received an 4 sized catalog envelop together with fresh fruits and produce. It was an odd combination.

She paid no mind to the organic matter and went straight to opening the envelope.

Lo and behold, it contained the divorce papers already filled out by Chen Linyun.

At the sight of it, she broke down and wailed like a child.

The maids came in hurriedly to her rescue and aid. "What"s wrong, Big Miss?"

"Is anything the matter?"

"Are you hurt?"

"Should we call an ambulance?"

"Butler Lee…"

Sniffing, and wiping her large pearl-sized tears with the back of her hand, she answered, "It hurts so much here." Then pointed on her chest. She clutched her chest with her hand. "Can I throw away my heart?"

"Is there any safe medication that I can take?"

"It hurts in here."

The maids looked at each other, baffled. "Please calm down, Big Miss. It"s not good for your babies if you continue in this state."

"Let"s call Butler Lee and the young master…"

Xue Jinxu scrutinized the divorced papers. "Chen Linyun, you did it first. You asked for it first."

From inside the envelope, she found another smaller one. It contained a letter. 

It was a hand-written letter – his explanation, perhaps?

Xue Jinxu shook her head. "He must have gotten the idea from Zhu Li Qiang". Chen Linyun was never the letter-writing type of guy.

It read:

---

Jinxu, my love,

I"m writing because you wouldn"t want to talk to me and because I know that I wouldn"t be able to express myself fully if we did talk.

I didn"t tell you because I was too scared of its consequences to your health, to our marriage, and to how you would treat our twins. 

In no way did I harbor any malicious intent to you.

I approached you solely because I want to be with you.

I love you to the moon and back - that you already know.

I want to rea.s.sure you again and again that what we shared these past years, and my longing and love for you during the five years I searched for you were all genuine and pure.

I love you.

I will never get tired of telling you how much I love you.

But I understand if you would cease to share that same love with me after learning who I truly am.

I just found out recently, too, and you wouldn"t have believed how devastated I am to be related to the persons who caused your whole family pain, and who had inflicted us the suffering of losing our first child.

I would never have had the slightest inclination to accept my true ident.i.ty if it weren"t for Sola.

But you and I are not the same. 

They turned out to be my family, and wherever I go I cannot just shrug off that fact. It felt like I shared with all the vicious things that they committed even if I didn"t have any contributions to it. 

I cannot get away from them.

But you… You have a choice, my dearest Jinxu. I have sent these partially filled divorce papers. The decision is yours to make whether to file it or not.

If you do, I will accept it and respect it. It will be painful, and perhaps it would kill me, but I understand completely.

If you choose not to pursue it, I would welcome you with open arms. But if you do come back to me, I hope that you will be able to accept me for who I truly am.

It"s something I myself would have a hard time doing.

If I had the choice, I wouldn"t be who I am. I just have to accept myself, too. It"s something I need to learn.

If you realize that you hate me, just think that I hate myself more. I"m sorry I had not known earlier before I met you and pursued you.

I am sorry for everything.

I am full of shame.

Writing this letter is such a good idea because otherwise, I would never have the means to communicate with you. I don"t know if I can even face you.

I told Sola once that she should hold her chin up and keep her shoulders back and walk confidently because her conscience is clean, but hey, do you know that I couldn"t do it?

There"s one more thing I would want to tell you. At this point, I just want you to know everything. I helped s.h.i.+ Corporation not because I wanted to do it or was I obliged to. I did it for Sola. The s.h.i.+ Master, the patriarch, had been eyeing Sola"s inheritance. To save it from harm, I made a deal with him that I would at some point finance and salvage his company on the condition that he would not go after Sola"s inheritance from our mother.

I feel that I have to clarify that fact. Perhaps you thought that I was with them because I helped s.h.i.+ Corporation. That"s the reason behind it. If it weren"t for Sola, I would never help them. Did I not attack the same corporation before?

I guess I"ve clarified everything.

The decision is yours, Jinxu.

I love you and our twins. The three of you are my life, the core of my existence. Please take care of your health.

I am extremely sorry, love.

Chen Linyun

---

Xue Jinxu wailed even more as she clutched the letter near her aching heart.