She laughed wryly, full of self-mockery. "I even asked one of your men to send him off to a hospital. How are you feeling? I bet you"re deeply hurt. I"m constantly hurting you. You have to stop all this and just leave me be.""I even chose him over being with my friend who"s in a coma."
"I"m getting eaten by guilt little by little."
"I"m such a shame."
Zhu Li Qiang stayed quiet while the lady continued her blabberings. His face was contorted, but he never withdrew his arms around the lady.
He stroked her head. "You"re being too hard on yourself again." He kissed her head. "Don"t decide for me, Man Rui. I"m not looking for someone who"s perfect. You said you love him, but I love you. You"ve said before that you cannot teach your heart. I am faced with the same dilemma. My heart chooses you, not someone who I think is perfect. It"s my fault you must have mistaken me and my actions as me getting blind, and me choosing you because you"re flawless or because of some superficial, earthly criteria."
"It"s deeper than that, even I cannot explain." He tightened his arms around the lady.
"No matter how many faults you have, Man Rui, I will still choose you and venerate you. And you deserve all this from me because you are the only owner of my heart."
"I understand, it"s one-sided…"
"But at least allow me to love you and make you feel special."
"You don"t have to feel guilty. I"m doing it because it makes me happy."
The lady winced at the mention of "happy". "Zhu Li Qiang, all I do is hurt you. How can you be happy?"
"I can feel that you were trying hard to work it out with me. That"s enough with me, Man Rui. Maybe our story is just starting, and it"s taking a slower pace to develop."
"You said you like me, didn"t you? Maybe it will blossom into love one of these days."
"We wouldn"t know. Maybe one day you wake up realizing that I"ve already kicked out that tenant in your heart."
Teng Man Rui pulled back from their embrace while wiping her cheeks with her hands. "Why don"t you ever get angry with me? Why do you have so much faith in our story? I don"t want to give you false hope."
"Maybe it"s too early to tell? It hasn"t been that long anyway. We"ve started to get along for only a few months. Some things take longer than expected."
He grabbed her hands with his and used his thumb to caress hers. He was swelling with his love for her.
"Please, angel, don"t degrade yourself. Your heart is still the purest in this world. It"s what"s important." He kissed the back of her hands, and with undying solemnity, he breathed, "You don"t have to be perfect. You"re prettier now with all your imperfections. It makes you human all the more and more grounded. It makes me want to love you more than I already have."
"Can we keep the status quo?"
"Don"t give up on what we have worked hard on to build. It"s not the end of our story yet. It"s just starting."
"Ahh!!" She pulled away, cradled her head with her palms, and rested her elbows on her thighs. "I don"t know Zhu Li Qiang! What if I choose him over and over again, blindly, illogically? I"m defenseless in front of him. I cannot fight it!"
He exhaled sharply. The lady"s words were like daggers that went straight through his heart. His eyes were becoming misty from unshed tears. He blinked several times to shake it off.
Zhu Li Qiang"s eyes fell lifeless. "What will happen now? Do you want me to keep my distance from you? Tell me honestly…" His heart was so near getting butchered ruthlessly.
"I… uhm… no…" the lady maintained her head bowed down. "I"m fond of you." She added.
"Sorry in advance, then." Zhu Li Qiang grabbed both her cheeks with his hands and pressed his lips onto hers. He kissed, intensely, pa.s.sionately, yet still ever so gently, as if she"s something, rather, someone so fragile.
When their kiss ended, Zhu Li Qiang leaned his forehead onto hers and proceeded in caressing her flushed cheeks. "You"ve hurt me a lot today. But, I won"t give up until your fondness of me becomes love."
He smiles a sad smile. "You aren"t even pus.h.i.+ng me away." He observed. "But your words are intended to push me away, aren"t they? I"ve seen through you."
"I hope I can be someone that you hold dear inside that heart of yours."
"And only me."
"That time will come, my angel."
The lady had not – could not – recover yet from being taken by surprise. She was frozen in a stupor, eyes wide from the man"s sudden attack.
"If I leave, will you see my importance?"
"If I"m the one who"s unwell, will you come to take care of me too?"
"I"ll break the devil"s spell on you."
Under his mesmerizing gaze, Zhu Li Qiang kissed the back of both her hands, without cutting their eye contact. Then he stood up, and without saying any more words, he walked away and out of the hospital.
There are five languages known to mankind – acts of service, words of affirmation, quality time, physical touch, and sharing gifts. For a person, it"s possible that all five were present and applicable, with differing levels of dominance.
Zhu Li Qiang"s most dominant love language was words of affirmation.
That day, the lady told him that he was "too kind, that she doesn"t deserve him". He heard her say, "I like you. A lot." And "I"m fond of you."
Those words were enough to propel him to cloud nine, only if the situation was different.
However, the lady"s words were as sharp as a double-edged sword. She raised him to higher heights, but she degraded herself, creating such glaring illusory gap between them. She tried to push him away with her words, only to pull him back towards her, still with her words.
Zhu Li Qiang"s heart felt as if it was on a spring. At one moment it was on high, at another, at an extreme low. Although hurting, he found himself so much more deeply invested in his love for the lady.
Such is love. It takes courage to love and get loved. It"s a gamble, without any a.s.surance of winning in the end. Even when you thought you have the upper hand, the next instance, you"ll find yourself lying face down on the ground, crying, and hurting and bleeding. That"s why only the brave fights for love. It"s not for the faint-hearted nor for the fickle. It takes a lot of guts and conviction to go on even after facing hurt and rejection. In the end, one can only hope that the brave would find his heart"s yearning.
In the end, Zhu Li Qiang went out of the hospital, more emotionally damaged than when he came, but more determined to win the lady"s heart.