At around seven in the evening, Xue Guangxi dropped Kang Sola off at the university after they had such a fun-filled afternoon and a hearty dinner.
They decided to spend some more time at the open soccer field since it was still early for bedtime.
They lied on their backs in the middle of the field while they did some stargazing. The gra.s.s beside them swayed with the night wind.
"Thanks for today, Guangxi. You"re really quite observant." Her voice was soft. He couldn"t see it but her cheeks were a bit flushed. Kang Sola had never been confrontational. She was used to running away from her own emotions, from other people. But now, she felt she simply had to relay her purest grat.i.tude.
"What are talking about? It"s me who"s thankful to you, Sola. You"ve done so much for me. You saved my a.s.s, you know that?" The young man was equally feeling warm inside. He was more than touched.
"Guangxi..."
"Hmm?"
"We broke up." Her voice broke. It was laced with evident hurt.
Xue Guangxi was speechless. He knew the boyfriend and girlfriend did fight that afternoon, but he did not expect that it was to that extent. The young man did not know what to say next. Just when he thought he already succeeded in cheering her up, it appeared that she"s going to cry again.
But she didn"t.
Xue Guangxi propped himself up in a sitting position, one leg still outstretched while the other was bent on the knee. He glanced at Kang sola who was still lying beside him.
She was smiling a sad smile.
"I have not experienced this kind of hurt before. It"s really tearing me from the inside. But, do you know? I feel relieved, too. I don"t know. Does it make me a bad person for feeling this way?"
She sighed. "I guess it"s really not how it is intended to be in the first place. I know so well even before we started the relations.h.i.+p that somehow this day will come, but I ventured into it anyway. "Charge to experience" is what they say."
"It hurts though." She sighed.
Silence enveloped them. The night wind howled, and the gra.s.s beside them danced with it.
Xue Guangxi returned to lying down on his back.
"I will never leave you, Kang Sola." He gazed at the stars. "Even as friends."
"We can never be sure of that, Guangxi." She retorted sadly.
"You don"t believe me? I promise."
"What if you get yourself a girlfriend and she happens to feel awful with our closeness? I bet she"ll get affected - get jealous and stuff."
"Is that what happened, Sola? I heard snippets of your conversation. I had no intentions of eavesdropping, I swear."
She laughed a little. "You"re getting unnecessarily defensive."
"But yeah."
The young lad balled his fists. "It"s my fault, Sola. I"m sorry. I"ll talk to him. I"ll explain your side to him."
Still gazing at the stars, she grinned. Her flushed cheeks turned a brighter shade of pink. "You"re too kind. No need for that. He doesn"t trust me. Sooner or later it will happen again. I don"t like it.""Maybe that"s how things work. That"s real life. You meet people for a reason. But once the purpose is fulfilled, you"ll both part ways and move on to the next phase of your lives. Such is what happens during graduation, or in cases of one"s pa.s.sing." She sighed.
"We just need to accept it."
"Do you know, Guangxi, I was brought up by my mother"s relatives in South Korea until I graduated from high school. Afterwards, even if they didn"t tell me, I felt that I was becoming a burden to them."
"I didn"t know, Sola. You haven"t opened up about your family before."
The girl shrugged. "I don"t really have one to share. I don"t have a home, either. That"s why it so hard to answer you when you asked me before what my address is outside the university."
Xue Guangxi turned to his left where Kang Sola lied on her back. He stared at her side profile. They had been friends for a good while, and he even claimed he has deep-rooted feelings for her, yet he failed to know the very basic information about her, or her pain and frustrations. What kind of a best friend was he?
Kang Sola seemed in the mood to open up about the very sensitive topic of her lineage. "My mother died giving birth to me. My mother"s relatives thought that my father was not suited to take me, an extremely fragile new-born daughter so they took care of me instead. They said my father agreed to it, but according to them when I grow older he wanted custody over me too."
"But then he never came back for me..."
There was silence between them. "I only saw him in pictures. I went to study here in Beijing under scholars.h.i.+p in the hopes of finding him one day."
"But this country is huge. I"m not getting my hopes up."
Kang Sola giggled wryly. "Maybe when I finally meet my father, my purpose in this world would have been fulfilled."
"Don"t say that. Don"t live for someone who"s not with you. No, don"t live your life for anyone else. Live it for yourself, Sola."
"Perhaps, that"s the very reason why I started my vlog in the first place - for exposure. Maybe my father will accidentally see one of my vlogs and reach me."
"I don"t know, Guangxi. That"s a yearning I always had ever since I was little."
"I never had a family of my own. My mother"s relatives have their own families. Even if they raised me, I felt I"m an intruder."
"Sorry, I am getting overly emotional." She propped herself with an elbow.
"The stars are bright tonight." She commented in an attempt to end the previous heavy topic.
"But it"s getting late. Let"s head back and rest for the night."
"Anyhow, I"m just so glad I have you as a friend. I can count on you and you can count on me too."
"Remember the song by Bruno Mars?" She smiled while she brushed the back of her head for remnants of gra.s.s, and then stood up. She brushed with her hands the back of her skirt, too.
Xue Guangxi grinned knowingly, then nodded. "Yeah, some sort of a theme song of ours." He retorted playfully as he stood up.
"I can be your family." He spouted without thinking. Then his ears turned red as it somehow came out wrong. "I mean, I can be the nearest figure of a family. My family can be your family too. I"ll share Xu-jie with you." He added hurriedly. He was as quite fl.u.s.tered.
"That"s so thoughtful of you. I really like Xu-jie."
They sauntered away towards the girl"s dormitory. Xue Guangxi"s one arm hooked around the girl"s shoulder while her arms wrapped around his waist in a friendly hug.