Chen Linyun found himself crying after that. He turned around so that the little girl will not see him crying. He rubbed his forearm over his burning eyes, spectacles already removed. "What has gotten into me?"Then, he somehow heard murmurs – whispers – inside his head. "Come back to me, darling, hmm?"
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The pleadings went straight to his heart as if shot by an arrow. He clutched his chest as his eyes widened, and gooseb.u.mps rose from his arms and back. He shuddered.
"Daddy?"
Chen Linyun felt a soft tug on the hem of his s.h.i.+rt. The little girl, Xiao Zhizhi blinked her doe almond eyes at her father who was acting strange at this very moment.
"Did you hear anything, honey?" Chen Linyun inquired, all senses hyped up for any consequent actions or movements from who-knows-what.
"No, daddy."
Chen Linyun shook his head as he lifted the little girl up in his arms. They were on their way to meet his wife, Xue Jinxu. They were supposed to go on a camping trip as a family of three for the first time. He rented a camping van fully equipped with useful outdoor and indoor amenities.
At two in the afternoon, the family of three had hit the road, and at around half past four, they had arrived in their camping site, just in time for the lovely sunset. The parents scampered onto their feet to prepare for their basic needs, and for the bonfire that night. Since they rented the van, they didn"t have to pitch a tent. They could also cook in the van via the built-in stove and spend the night inside it.
That night, while grilling some sausages and meat over the open fire with a long stick, the family of three around it on stools, clad with thick clothes and an additional bundle of blankets. Little Zhizhi was all bundled up and was comfortably stuck to her mother"s side. Xue Jinxu rubbed her arm with her hand to keep her even warmer albeit the blankets.
They had a sumptuous and simple dinner, quite even more lovely under the moonlight. Xue Jinxu played some music. After dinner, the little girl dozed off quite easily. Chen Linyun fetched her from Xue Jinxu"s lap and settled her safely inside the van, comfortably tucked under some more warm blankets. Afterwards, Chen Linyun rejoined his wife under the moonlight, enjoying the peace and the quiet of the night. He opened a can of beer, looked up to the sky, closed his eyes and simply zoned out.
…But then…
Three big water droplets landed on his bare face, on his cheeks – two on his left and one on his right. As he wiped them away, he popped his eyes open, surprise imminent on his face as he studied the sky.
"Looks like it"s raining soon."
"Hmm? I don"t think so. The sky is clear. There"s no weather disturbance reported in the news." Xue Jinxu reb.u.t.ted.
"But."
Just then, Chen Linyun heard faint sobs of a lady that seemed to be quite distant, yet near.
"Hu."
"Uhu. Hu. Hu."
"Come back to me please. You promised me."
"You promised me."
He felt his cheeks got wet from some more water droplets that seemed to be raining on his face alone.
"Did you hear that?"
"What?" Xue Jinxu frowned and checked his temperature with her hand. She caressed his face, and forehead, and even planted a worried kiss on it. "Are you not feeling well? Are you alright?"
"No, uhm, Jinxu…"
"Jinxu…"
He turned his body while remaining seated and faced his wife fully. "Do you remember the day we first went camping, Jinxu?" He lightly chuckled at the fond memory. "You attempted to elope with me. And in that trip, you proposed to me, remember that? And, I wept because you"ve hurt my feelings and my innocent, pure intentions." He laughed some more. "Remember that?"
Xue Jinxu gawked at him. "I asked you to marry me while making out in your office when you"ve just a.s.sumed CFO. Who are you talking about?! Who were you with?!" Humor had left her altogether. She was fuming.
Rather than getting anxious from being confronted, Chen Linyun was overly bewildered. "How can it be not Jinxu?"
He started zoning out, and before he knew it, he was swept into a whirlwind of scenes which appeared to be memories, of whom he couldn"t be so sure of, and if they were real or just a figment of his imagination.
"Am I going crazy? Am I losing it?" He cupped his head with both hands.
"Darling, what"s wrong? Are you feeling sick? Let"s rest. We shouldn"t leave our daughter alone for too long." Xue Jinxu caressed her dear husband"s hair and back, but he relentlessly remained unfazed. All her previous fury dissipated and was replaced with worry.
"What is the truth?"
"Why do I get the feeling that I shouldn"t be here?"
"Who"s the lady that I have been hearing?"
"Isnt it Jinxu?"
"But she"s right here with me."
"I"ll follow shortly. Go on in and have some rest." He responded to Xue Jinxu"s invitation, still cupping his head in his hands, and slightly pulling his hair in vexation.
"Aaaahhhh!!!"
"I have the perfect life with my wife and child."
"I am successful in my career."
"Family and friends are supportive of me."
"My little girl is growing fast and well."
"Everything"s perfect, yet..."
"Why do I feel uneasy? As if I am turning my back onto something equally important?"
Something flashed inside Chen Linyun"s head. Those were glimpses of his b.l.o.o.d.y fingers. He heard the sound of a blood-curdling scream of a female voice he"s most accustomed to, and Xue Jinxu fainting right in front of his very eyes. It stopped there. The next scene that invaded his mind was Xue Jinxu on a hospital bed, hysterical. She was shouting at the top of her lungs, with all the strength her feeble body could muster. "My baby. My baby." Her red red crumpled face was all wet with tears and sweat.
Chen Linyun felt his eyes glimmered with his own tears, and his already impaired vision got even blurred.
"But…"
"Whose memories were those?"
"What are those?"
"It"s clearly Jinxu."
"My Jinxu. Writhing with pain. I couldn"t help her."
"Our little Zhizhi is here with us, healthy and getting bigger each pa.s.sing day."
He had lots of questions left unanswered, yet his heart felt as if it was trampled on by thousands of horses, pierced by millions of daggers. He felt what Xue jinxu in his mind felt of what could be a loss of a dearest, yearned for… baby.
He couldn"t stop crying, couldn"t stop discerning what"s happening.
Something"s definitely wrong and out of place.