The New World Symphony had little effect on Mildred, except that three airplanes went over while it was being played, and she became terrified lest one go over while Veda was singing, and ruin everything. But the sky was clear when she appeared again, looking much smaller than she had in the first half, quite girlish, a little pathetic. The parasol was gone, and the bonnet, instead of being on Veda"s head, was carried in her hand. A single orchid was pinned to Veda"s shoulder, and Mildred fiercely hoped that it was one of the six she she had sent. The program said merely "Mad Scene from Lucia di Lammermoor," but there seemed to be a little more tension than usual before Mr. Treviso raised his stick, and presently Mildred knew she was present at a tremendous vocal effort. She had never heard one note of this music before, so "far as she knew; it must have been rehea.r.s.ed at the studio, not at home. After the first few bars, when she sensed that Veda was all right, that she would make no slip, that she would get through to the end, Mildred relaxed a little, permitted herself to dote on the demure, pathetic little figure pouring all this elaborate vocal fretwork out at the stars. There came a tap on her shoulder, and Mr. Pierce was handing her a pair of opera gla.s.ses. Eagerly she took them, adjusted them, levelled them at Veda. But after a few moments she put them down. Up close, she could see the wan, stagey look that Veda turned on the audience, "and the sharp, cold, look that she constantly shot at Mr. Treviso, particularly when there was a break, and she was waiting to come in. It shattered illusion for Mildred. She preferred to remain at a distance, to enjoy this child as she seemed, rather than as she was. had sent. The program said merely "Mad Scene from Lucia di Lammermoor," but there seemed to be a little more tension than usual before Mr. Treviso raised his stick, and presently Mildred knew she was present at a tremendous vocal effort. She had never heard one note of this music before, so "far as she knew; it must have been rehea.r.s.ed at the studio, not at home. After the first few bars, when she sensed that Veda was all right, that she would make no slip, that she would get through to the end, Mildred relaxed a little, permitted herself to dote on the demure, pathetic little figure pouring all this elaborate vocal fretwork out at the stars. There came a tap on her shoulder, and Mr. Pierce was handing her a pair of opera gla.s.ses. Eagerly she took them, adjusted them, levelled them at Veda. But after a few moments she put them down. Up close, she could see the wan, stagey look that Veda turned on the audience, "and the sharp, cold, look that she constantly shot at Mr. Treviso, particularly when there was a break, and she was waiting to come in. It shattered illusion for Mildred. She preferred to remain at a distance, to enjoy this child as she seemed, rather than as she was.
The number was quite long, was in fact the longest number Mildred had ever heard, but when it was done the sound that swept over the vast amphitheatre was like thunder. Ved"a came out for bow after bow, and presently, after her dozenth or so reappearance, she came out followed by Mr. Treviso, and without hat or any enc.u.mbrance, just a simple, friendly little girl, hoping to be liked. A gentleman with a flute stepped forward, carrying a chair, "and camped near Veda. When she saw him she "went over and shook his hand. Then Mr. Treviso took the orchestra briskly through the introduction of Lo, Hear the Gentle Lark Lo, Hear the Gentle Lark, and there was a ripple of applause, for this was one of the things that Veda had made popular on the radio. When she got through there were cheers, and she began a whole series of her radio numbers: Love"s Old Sweet Song Love"s Old Sweet Song, Schubert"s Ave Maria Ave Maria, an arrangement of the Blue Danube Waltz Blue Danube Waltz that permitted her to do vocal gingerbread while the orchestra played the tune, and a Waldteufel waltz Mr. Treviso had dug up for her, called that permitted her to do vocal gingerbread while the orchestra played the tune, and a Waldteufel waltz Mr. Treviso had dug up for her, called Estudiantina Estudiantina.
Many of these had been called for, with insistent shouting, by the audience, and toward the end, the orchestra sat back and listened while Mr. Treviso accompanied her on the piano that had been pushed out during the intermission. Now Veda came out, and said: "Even if it"s not a song that"s supposed to be sung on a symphony program, may I sing a song just because I want to sing it?" As the audience broke into amiable applause, Monty looked at Mildred, and she sensed something coming. Then Mr. Treviso played a short introduction, and Veda began the song about rainbows that had been Mildred"s favorite back in the happy days when she used to come home for her rest, and Veda would play the numbers she liked to hear.
It was all for her.
Veda began it, but when she finished it, or whether she finished it, Mildred never quite knew. Little quivers went through her and they kept going through her the rest of the night, during the supper party, when Veda sat with the white scarf wound around her throat, during the brief half hour, while she undressed Veda, and put the costume away; in the dark, while she "lay there alone, trying to sleep, n"ot wanting to sleep.
This was the climax of Mildred"s life.
It was also the climax, or would have been if she hadn"t got it postponed, of a financial catastrophe that had been piling up on her since the night she so blithely agreed to take the house off Mrs. Beragon"s hands for $30,000, and pay the tax lien of $3,100. She had expected, when she made that arrangement, to do the major part of the financing through the Federal Homes Administration, about which "she had heard. She received her first jolt when she paid a visit to this authority, and found it made no loans of more than $16,000. She had to have at least $20,000, and wanted $25,000. She received "another jolt when she went to her bank. It was willing to lend her whatever she wanted, seemed to regard her as an excellent risk, but refused to lend anything at all until repairs were made to the property, particularly in the way of a new roof.
Up to then, she had known there would be outlays, but thought of them vaguely as "a couple of thousand to put the place in order, and a few thousand to furnish it." After the bank"s report, however, she had to consider whether it wouldn"t be better to give the place a complete overhaul, so that she would have a property that somebody might conceivably want to buy, instead of a monstrosity. That was when Monty was called into consultation. She didn"t tell him about the financial problem, but she was delighted when he hit on the plan of restoring the house to what it had been before Beragon, Sr., put into effect his bizarre ideas for improvement. But while this satisfied the bank, and qualified her for a $25,000 loan, it cost upwards of $5,000, and cleaned out her personal cash. For the furnishings, she had to sell bonds. When she married Monty he had to "have a car, or she thought he had. This meant $1,200 more. To get the money, and cover one or two other things that had "come up by then, she dipped into the reserves of the corporation. She drew herself a check for $2,500 and marked it "bonus." But she didn"t use a check "from the big checkbook used by Miss Jaeckel, the lady she employed to keep the books. She used one of "the blanks "she always carried in her handbag, in case of emergency. She kept saying to herself that she must tell Miss Jaeckel about the check, but she didn"t do it. Then, in December of 1939, to take "care of Christmas expenses, she gave herself another bonus of $2,500, so that by the first of the year there was a difference of $5,000 between"what Miss Jaeckel"s books showed and what the bank was actually carrying on deposit.
But these large outlays were only part of her difficulties. The bank, to her surprise, insisted on amortization of her loan as well as regular interest payments, so that to the $125 a month in carrying charges were added $250 in reduction charges, a great deal more than she had antic.i.p.ated. Then Monty, when he sold her Kurt and Frieda at $150 a month, put her to somewhat heavier expenses in the kitchen than she had expected. Then the endless guests, all of whom seemed to have the thirst of a caravan of camels, ran up the bill for household entertainment to an appalling figure. The result was that "she was compelled to increase her salary from the corporation. Until then, she had allowed herself $75 a week from each of the corporation"s four component parts: the Pie Wagon, the pie factory, the Beverly restaurant, and the Laguna restaurant, or $300 a week in all. This was so grotesquely in excess of her "living expenses that the money piled up on her account, and it was so much less than the corporation"s earnings that a nice little corporate reserve piled up too. But when she hiked it to $400, the reserve ceased growing, and in fact Miss Jaeckel, with stern face, several times notified her that it would be necessary to transfer money from Reserve Reserve, which was carried on a special account, to Current Cash Current Cash, which was carried on another account. These transfers of $500 each Mildred O.K."d hurriedly, and with averted eyes, feeling miserable, and like a thief.
Reserve, being a sort of sacred cow outside the routine bookkeeping system, didn"t often come into Miss Jaeckel"s purview, so there was no immediate danger she would learn of Mildred"s withdrawals. And yet in March of 1940, when Miss Jaeckel made up the income statements, and took them down to the notary and swore to them, and left them, with the tax checks, for Mildred"s signature, Mildred was in a cold sweat. She couldn"t now "face Miss Jaeckel and tell her what she had done. So she took the statements to an accountant, and swore him to secrecy, and told him what she had done, and asked "him to get up another set, which she herself would swear to, and which would conform with the balance at the bank. He seemed upset, and asked her a great many questions, and took a week making up his mind that nothing unlawful had been done, so far. But he kept emphasizing that "so far," and looking at Mildred in an accusing way, and he charged $100 for his services, an absurd sum for what amounted to a little recopying, "with slight changes. She paid him, and had him forward the checks, and told Miss Jaecke"l she had mailed them herself. Miss Jaeckel looked at her queerly, and went "back to her little office in the pie factory without comment.
Then, within a week or two, two things happened, of an elusive, tantalizing sort, and it was hard to say what was cause and what was effect, but the Laguna business took an alarming drop, and didn"t recover. The Victor Hugo, one of the oldest and best of the Los Angeles restaurants, opened a place not far from Mr. Gessler"s place, and at once did a thriving trade. And Mrs. Gessler, white-lipped and tense, informed Mildred one night that "that little b.i.t.c.h, that trollop from Los Feliz Boulevard, had moved down here."
"Is Ike seeing her?"
"How do I know who Ike sees? He"s out on call half the time, and who knows where he goes, or when he comes back."
"Can"t you find out?"
"I"ve found out, or tried to. No, he"s not seeing her, that I know of. Ike"s all right, if he gets half a bre"ak. But she"s here. She"s working in that pottery place, up the road about three miles, in a smock and—"
After that, it didn"t seem to Mildred that Mrs. Gessler quite had her mind on her work. Trade slacked off, and Mildred couldn"t think of "any way to get it back. She cut prices, and that didn"t help. She would have closed the place down, but she was bound by a lease, unless she could get rid of it, and the other three places wouldn"t yield enough to pay rent under the lease, and maintain her establishment in Pasadena too. It was almost weekly now that Miss Jaeckel came to her for more cash, and the transfers from Reserve, instead of being $500 each, dwindled to $250, to $150, to $100, to $50, and still the spiral was going downwards. Mildred lived a queer, unnatural life. By day she was nervous, worried, hunted, afraid to look Miss Jaeckel in the eye, sure all her employees were whispering about her, suspecting her, accusing her. By night, when she came home to Monty, to Veda, to the inevitable guests, she abandoned herself to quiet, mystical, intense enjoyment. In these hours, she sealed herself off from the crises of the day, permitted herself no anxious thoughts, stared at Veda, drew deep, tremulous breaths.
But there came a day when Reserve, on the books, was" $5,003.61 and at the bank was $3.61. She had to tell a long story to Miss Jaeckei, to cover her inability to make another transfer. Two days after that she couldn"t pay her meat bill. Bills of all kinds, in the restaurant business, are paid on Monday, and failure to pay is a body blow to credit. Mr. Eckstein, of Snyder Bros. & Co., listened to Mildred with expressionless eyes, and agreed to deliver meat until she "straightened this little matter out." But all during the following week, Archie was raging at the inferior quality of the top sirloins, and Mrs. Gessler had to be restrained from calling Mr. Eckstein personally. By Monday, Snyder Bros. were paid, but Mildred was asking time on other bills, particularly her liquor bill, most of which she owed Bodega, Inc. And then one day Wally Burgan "strolled into the Pie Wagon, and it developed that he had been retained by several of her creditors. He suggested a little conference. As mOst of the trouble seemed to be at Laguna, how would she like to meet them down there the following night? They could have dinner, and then talk things over. The following night was the night Veda was to sing at the Bowl. Mildred shrilly said it was impossible, she had to be at the Bowl; nothing could interfere. Then, said Wally, how about one night next week? How about Monday?
The delay made matters worse, for Monday saw more unpaid bills, and in addition to Mr. Eckstein, Mr. Rossi of the Bodega, and representatives of three wholesale grocers, Mildred had to face Mr. Gurney and several small-fry market men who had previously been flattered if she so much as said good morning. Wally, however, kept everything on a courteous plane. He enjoined silence about the matter in hand while dinner was being served, lest waitresses hear things. He insisted that Mildred give him the check for the creditors" banquet, as he somewhat facetiously called it. He encouraged her to talk, to lay her cards on the table, so something could be arranged. He kept reminding her that n.o.body wanted to make trouble. It was to "the interest of all that she get on her feet again, that she become the Al customer she had been in the past.
Yet, at the end of two or three hours of questions, of answers, of figures, of explanations, the truth at last was out, and not even Mildred"s stammering evasions could change it: All four units of the corporation, even the Laguna restaurant, would be showing a profit if it were not for the merciless milking that Mildred was giving them in order to keep up the establishment in Pasadena. Once this was in the open there was a long, grave pause, and then Wally said: "Mildred, you mind if we ask a few questions "about your home finances? Kind of get that a little straightened out?"
"That"s n.o.body"s business but mine."
"None of it"s anybody"s business, so far as that goes. If we just went by what was our business, we"d have gone to court already, asking for receivers, and strictly kept our questions to ourselves. We did"n"t do that. We "wanted to give you a break. But looks like we"re ent.i.tled to "little consideration too, don"t it? Looks like we could go into what we think is importani. Maybe you don"t think so. Maybe that"s where the trouble is. It"s you that"s behind the eight ball, not us."
"... What do you want to know?"
"How much does Ved"a pay in?"
"I don"t charge my own child board, I hope."
"She"s the big expense though, isn"t she?"
"I don"t keep books on her."
"This is what I"m getting at: Veda, she"s making plenty. She had some dough, that I got for her, and she was smart the way she invested it. She"s dragging down $500 a week"" from Pleasant, and even after she pays all them agents, teachers, and chiselers, she must have quite a lot left over. Well, wouldn"t you be justified in deducting an amount to pay for her keep? If you did, that would kind of ease the pressure all around."
Mildred opened her mouth to say she couldn"t do any deducting, that she had nothing to do with Veda"s income. Then, under Wally"s bland manner she noted something familiar, something cold. As her heart skipped a beat, she knew she mustn"t fall into any traps, mustn"t divulge any of her arrangements with Veda. She must stall, say this was something she hadn"t thought of before, insist there were legal angles she would have to look into before she would know how she felt. So mumbling, she kept watching and saw Mr. Rossi look at Mr. Eckstein. Then she knew wha"t this was about. Wally was engineering a little deal. The creditors were to get their money, the corporation was to be placed on a sounder basis, "and Veda was to foot the bill. It didn"t occur to her that there was an element of justice in this arrangement: that the creditors had furnished her with goods, and were ent.i.tled to payment; that Veda earned large sums, and had run a lengthy bill. All she knew was that hyenas were leaping at her chick, and her craftiness, her ability to stall, deserted her. She became excited, said that no child of hers was going "to be made the victim of any such gyp, if she had anything to do with it. Then, looking Wally in the eye, she went on: "And what"s more, I don"t believe you or anybody has any right, even any legal right, to take what "belongs to me, or what belongs to my child, to pay the bills of this business. Maybe you"ve forgotten, Mr. Wally Burgan, that it was you that had me incorporate. It was you that had the papers drawn up, and explained "the law to me. And your main talking point was that if I incorporated, then my personal property was safe from any and all creditors of the corporation. Maybe you"ve forgotten that, but I haven"t."
"No, I haven"t forgotten it."
Wally"s chair rasped as he stood to face her, where she was already standing, a few feet back from the big round table. "I haven"t forgotten it, and you"re quite right, n.o.body here can take one dime of your money, or your personal property, or Veda"s, to satisfy the claims they got, makes no difference how reasonable the claims may be. They can"t touch a thing, it"s all yours and a yard wide. All they can do is go to court, have you declared a bankrupt, and take over. The court will appoint receivers, and the receivers will run it. You"ll be out."
"All right, then I"ll be out."
"You"ll be out, and Ida"ll be in."
". . . Who? Who?"
"You didn"t know that, did you?"
"That"s a lie. She wouldn"t—"
"Oh yes she would. Ida, she cried, and said at first she wouldn"t even listen to such a thing, she was such a good friend of yours. But she "couldn"t get to you, all last week, for a little talk. You were too busy with the concert. Maybe that hurt her a little. Anyway, now she"ll listen to reason, and we figure she can run this business as good as anybody can run it. Not as good as you, maybe, when you"ve got your mind on it. But better than a stagestruck dame that would rather go to concerts than work, and rather spend the money on her child than pay her creditors."
At the revelation about Ida, tears had started to Mildred"s eyes, and she turned her back while Wally went on, in a cold, "fiat voice: "Mildred, you might as well get it through your head you got to do three things. You got to cut down on your overhead, so you can live on what you make. You got to raise some money, from Veda, from the Pierce Drive property, from somewhere, so you can square up these bills and start over. And you got to cut out this running around and get down to work. Now, as I said before, there"s no hard feelings. We all wish you well. Just the same, we mean to get our money. Now you show us some action by a week from tonight, and you can forget it, what"s been said. You don"t and maybe we"ll have to take a little action ourselves."
It was around eleven when she drove up to the house, but she tapped Tommy on the shoulder and stopped him when she saw the first floor brightly lit, with five or six cars standing outside. She was on the verge of hysteria, and she couldn"t face Monty, and eight or ten poio players, and their wives. She told Tommy to call Mr. Beragon aside, and tell him she had been detained on business, and wouldn"t be in until quite late. Then she moved forward, took the wheel, and drove out again into Orange Grove Avenue. It was almost automatic with her to turn left at the traffic circle, continue over the bridge, and level off for Glendale and Bert. There was no light at Mom"s, but she knew he was home, because the car was in the garage, and he was the only one who drove it now. At her soft tap he opened a window, "and told her he would be right out. At the sight of her face, he s"tood for a moment in his familiar, battered red bathrobe, patted her hand, and said G.o.ddam it this was no place to talk. Mom would be hollering, wanting to know what was" going on, and Pop would be hollering, trying to tell her, and it just wouldn"t work. He asked Mildred to wait until he got his clothes on, and for a few minutes she sat in the car, feeling a little comforted. When he came out, he asked if she"d like him to drive, and she gladly moved over while he pulled away from the curb in the easy, grand style that n.o.body else quite seemed to have. He said it sure was one swell car, specially the way it held the road. She hooked her arm through his.
"Veda has to kick in."
They had driven to San Fernando, to Van Nuys, to Beverly, to the ocean, and were now in a little all-night c.o.c.k"tail bar in Santa Monica. Mildred, "breaking into tears, had told the whole story, or at least the whole story beginning with Veda"s return home. The singular connection that Monty had with it, and particularly the unusual circ.u.mstances of her marriage, she conveniently left out, or perhaps she had already forgotten them. But as to recent events she was flagitiously frank, and even told about the two $2,500 checks, as yet undiscovered by Miss Jaeckel. At Bert"s whistle there was a half-hour interlude, while he went into all details of this transaction, and she spoke in frightened whispers, yet gained a queer spiritual relief, as though she were speaking through the lattice of a confessional. And there was a long, happy silence after Bert said that so far as he could see, there had been no actual violation of the law. Then solemnly he added: "Not saying it wasn"t pretty d.a.m.n foolish."
"I know know it was foolish." it was foolish."
"Well then—"
"You don"t have to nag nag me." me."
She lifted his hand and kissed it, and then they were back to the corporation and its general problem. It could only be solved, he had insisted, through Veda. Now, on his second highball, he was even more of that opinion. "She"s the one that"s costing you money, and she"s the one that"s making money. She"s got to pay her share."
"I never wanted her to know."
"I never wanted her to know, either, but she found out just the same, when I hit the deck. If she"d had a little dough when Pierce Homes began to wobble, and I"d taken it, and Pierce Homes was ours right now, she"d be better off, wouldn"t she?"
Mildred pressed Bert"s hand, and sipped her rye, then she held his hand tight, and listened to the radio for a minute or two, as it began moaning low. She hadn"t realized until then that Bert had been through all this himself, that she wasn"t the only one who had suffered. Bert, in a low voice that didn"t interfere with the radio, leaned forward and said: "And who the h.e.l.l put that girl where she is today? Who paid for all the music? And And that piano. that piano. And And that car? that car? And And those clothes? And—" those clothes? And—"
"You did your share."
"Mighty little."
"You did a lot." Intermingling of Pierce Homes, Inc., with Mildred Pierce, Inc., plus a little intermingling of rye and seltzer, had brought Bert nearer to her than he had ever been before, and she was determined that justice must be done him. "You did plenty. Oh we lived very well before the "Depression, Bert, as well as any family ever lived in this country, or any other. And a long time. Veda was eleven years when we broke up, and she"s only twenty now. I"ve carried on nine years, but it was eleven for you."
"Eleven years and eight months."
Bert winked, and Mildred quickly clutched his hand to her cheek. "All right, eleven years and eight months, if you"ve got to bring that up. And I"m glad glad it was only eight months, how do you like that? Any b.o.o.b can have a child nine months after she gets married. But when it was only eight, that proves I loved you, doesn"t it?" it was only eight months, how do you like that? Any b.o.o.b can have a child nine months after she gets married. But when it was only eight, that proves I loved you, doesn"t it?"
"Me too, Mildred."
Mildred covered his hand with kisses, and for a time they said nothing, and let the radio moan. Then Bert said: "You want me to talk to that girl?"
"I can"t ask her for money, Bert."
"Then I"ll do it. I"ll drop over there this afternoon, and bring it up friendly, and let her know what she"s got to do. It"s just ridiculous that you should have your back to the wall, and she be living off you, and rolling in dough."
"No, no. I"ll morgtage the house. In Glendale."
"And what good will that do you? You raise five grand on it, you square up for a few weeks, and then you"re right back where you started. She"s got to kick in, and keep on kicking."
They ran up the beach to Sunset Boulevard and rode homeward in silence. Then unexpectedly Bert pulled over, stopped, and looked at her. "Mildred, you"ve got to do it yourself."
". . . Why?"
"Because you"ve got to do it tonight."
"I can"t, it"s late, she"ll be asleep—"
"I can"t help how late it is, or whether she"s asleep, or she"s not asleep. You"ve got to see her. Because you forgot, and I forgot, and we both forgot who we"re dealing with. Mildred, you can"t trust Wally Burgan, not even till the sun comes up. He"s a cheap, chiseling little crook, we know that. He was my pal, and he crossed me, and he was your pal, and he crossed you. But listen, Mildred: He was Veda"s pal too. Maybe he"s getting ready to cross her her. Maybe he"s getting ready to grab her dough—"
"He can"t, not for corporate debts—"
"How do you know?"
"Why, he—"
"That"s it, he told you. Wally Burgan told you. You believe everything he says? You believe anything anything he says? Maybe that meeting tonight was just a phony. Maybe he"s getting ready to compel you to take over Veda"s money, as her guardian, so he can attach it. She"s still a minor, remember. Maybe you, I, and Veda will all have papers slapped on us today. Mildred, you"re seeing her tonight. And you"re getting her out of that house, so no process server can find you. You"re meeting me at the Brown Derby in Hollywood for breakfast, and by that time he says? Maybe that meeting tonight was just a phony. Maybe he"s getting ready to compel you to take over Veda"s money, as her guardian, so he can attach it. She"s still a minor, remember. Maybe you, I, and Veda will all have papers slapped on us today. Mildred, you"re seeing her tonight. And you"re getting her out of that house, so no process server can find you. You"re meeting me at the Brown Derby in Hollywood for breakfast, and by that time I"ll I"ll be busy. There"ll be four of us at that table, and the other one will be a lawyer." be busy. There"ll be four of us at that table, and the other one will be a lawyer."
Conspiratorial excitement carried Mildred to Veda"s room, where necessity might never have driven her there. It was after three when she came up the drive, and the house was dark, except for the hail light downstairs. She put the car away, walked on the gra.s.s to keep from making a noise, and let herself in the front door. Putting the light out, she felt her way upstairs, carefully staying on the carpeting, so her shoes would make no clatter. She tiptoed along the hall to Veda"s room and tapped on the door. There was no answer. She tapped again, using the tips of her fingers, to make only the softest sound. Still there was no answer. She turned the k.n.o.b and went in. Not touching any light switch, she tiptoed to the bed, and bent down to touch Veda, to speak to her, so she wouldn"t be startled. Veda wasn"t there. Quickly she snapped on the bed light, looked around. n.o.body was in the room, and it hadn"t been slept in. She went to the dressing room, to the bathroom, spoke softly. She opened a closet. Veda"s things were there, even the dress she had put on tonight, before Mildred went to Laguna. Now puzzled and a little alarmed, Mildred went to her own room, on the chance Veda had gone there to wait for her, and fallen asleep, or something. There was no sign of Veda. Mildred went to Monty"s room, and rapped. Her tempo was quickening now, and it was no finger rap this time. It was a sharp knuckle rap. There was no answer. She rapped, again, insistently. Monty, when he spoke, sounded sleepy, and quite disagreeable. Mildred said it was she, to let her in, she had to see him. He said what about, and why didn"t she go to bed and let him sleep? She rapped again, imperiously this time, and commanded him to let her in. It was about Veda.
When he finally came to the door, half opened it, and found what Mildred wanted, he was still more annoyed. "For G.o.d"s sake, is she an infant? Suppose she"s not there, what do I do then? I went to bed—I don"t know what she did. Maybe she went somewhere. Maybe she had a blowout. Maybe she"s looking at the moon. It"s a free country."
"She didn"t go anywhere."
"How do you know?"
"Her dress is there."
"Couldn"t she have changed it?"
"Her car is there."
"Couldn"t she have gone with somebody else?"
This simple possibility hadn"t even occurred to Mildred, and she was about to apologize and go back to her room when she became aware of Monty"s arm. He was leaning on it, but it was across the door, in a curious way, as though to bar her from the room. Her hand, which was resting on the door casing, slipped up, ifipped the light switch. Veda was looking at her, from the bed.
Monty, his voice an emasculated, androgynous yell, crammed all the bitterness, the futility of his life into a long, hysterical denunciation of Mildred. He said she had used him for her special purposes ever since she had met him. He said she was incapable of honor, and didn"t know what it meant to stand by her commitments. He recalled the first $20 she had given him, and how she had later begrudged it. He worked down to their marriage, and correctly accused her of using him as bait to attract the errant Veda. But, he said, what she had forgotten was that he was live bait, and the quarry and the bait had fallen in love, and how did she like that? And what was she going to do about it? But there was considerable talk about money mixed in with the chase, and what it added up to was that he had shown his independence of one woman who had been keeping him, with a pie wagon, by switching over and letting another woman keep him, with a voice.
Mildred, however, barely heard him. She sat in the little upholstered chair, near the door, her hat on the side of her head, her handbag in her lap, her toes absurdly turned in. But while her eyes were on the floor, her mind was on the lovely thing in the "bed, and again she was physically sick at what its presence there meant. When Monty had talked some little time, stalking gauntly about in his pajamas, Veda interrupted him with affectionate petulance: "Darling! Does it make any difference what such nitwits do, or whether they pay, or even know what a commitment is? Look what a pest she is to me. I literally can"t open my mouth in a theatre, or a radio studio, or anywhere, that she isn"t there, bustling down the aisle, embarra.s.sing me before people, all to get her her share of the glory, if any. But what do I do? I certainly don"t go screaming around the way share of the glory, if any. But what do I do? I certainly don"t go screaming around the way you"re you"re doing. It would be undignified. And very—" here Veda stifled a sleepy yawn—" doing. It would be undignified. And very—" here Veda stifled a sleepy yawn—"very bad for my throat. . . . Get dressed now, and we"ll clear out, and leave her to her pie plates, and by lunch time it"ll merely seem funny." bad for my throat. . . . Get dressed now, and we"ll clear out, and leave her to her pie plates, and by lunch time it"ll merely seem funny."
Monty went to his dressing room, and for a time there was silence, except for Mildred"s breathing, which was curiously heavy. Veda found cigarettes on the floor, and lit one, and lay there smoking in the way she had acquired lately, sucking the smoke in and letting it out in thick curls, so it entered her mouth but didn"t reach her throat. Mildred"s breathing became heavier, as though she were an animal, and had run a distance, and was panting. Monty came "out, in tweeds, a blue shirt, and tan shoes, his hat in one hand, a grip in the other. Veda nodded, squashed out her cigarette. Then she got up, went to Monty"s mirror, and began combing her hair, while little cadenzas absentmindedly cascaded out of her throat, and cold drops cascaded over Mildred"s heart. For Veda was stark naked. From the ma.s.sive, singer"s torso, with the dairy quaking in front, to the slim hips, to the lovely legs, there wasn"t so much as a garter to hide a path of skin.
Veda, still humming, headed for the dressing room, and Monty handed her the kimono, from the foot of the bed. It was then that Mildred leaped. But it wasn"t at Monty that she leaped, her husband, the man who had been untrue to her. It was at Veda, her daughter, the "girl who had done no more than what Mildred had once said was a woman"s right. It was a ruthless creature seventeen years younger than herself, with fingers like steel from playing the piano, and legs like rubber from riding, swimming, and all the recreations that Mildred had made possible for her. Yet this athlete crumpled like a jelly fish before a panting, dumpy little thing in a black dress, a hat over one ear, and a string of beads that broke and went bouncing all over the room. Somewhere, as if from a distance, Mildred could hear Monty, yelling at her, and feel him, dragging at her to pull her away. She could feel Veda scratching at her eyes, at her face, and taste blood trickling into her mouth. Nothing stopped her. She clutched for the throat of the naked girl beneath her, and squeezed hard. She wrenched the other hand free of Monty, and clutched with that too, and squeezed with both hands. She could see Veda"s face getting red, getting purple. She could see Veda"s tongue popping out, her slaty blue eyes losing expression. She squeezed harder.
She was on the floor, beside the bed, her head ringing from heavy blows. Across the room, in the kimono now, huddled in a chair, and holding on to her throat, was Veda. She was gasping, and Monty was talking to her, telling her to relax, to lie down, to take it easy. But Veda got to her feet and staggered out of the room. Mildred, sensing some purpose in his exit, and taking its evil nature for granted, scrambled up and lurched after her. Monty, pleading for an end to "this d.a.m.ned nonsense," followed Mildred. Letty and Frieda, in night dresses, evidently aroused by the commotion, stared in fright at the three of them, as Veda led the way down the big staircase. They made in truth a ghastly procession, and the gray light that filtered in seemed the only conceivable illumination for the hatred that twisted their faces.
Veda turned into the living room, reeled over to the piano, and struck a chord. Then her breath came fast, as though she was going to vomit, but Mildred, a "horrible intuition suddenly stabbing at her, knew she was trying to sing. No sound came. She struck the chord again, and still there was no sound. On the third try, a dreadful croak, that was like a man"s voice and yet not like a man"s voice, came out of her mouth. With a scream she fell on the floor, and lay there, writhing in what appeared to be convulsions. Mildred sat down on the bench, sick with the realization of what she had done. Monty began to weep hysterically, and to shout at Mildred: "Came the dawn! . . . Came the dawn—G.o.d, what a dawn!"
CHAPTER XVII.
IT WAS CHRISTMAS again on Pierce Drive, a balmy golden California Christmas. Mildred, after the most crushing period of life, was beginning to live again, to hope that the future might hold more than pain, or even worse, shame. It wasn"t the mad, spinning collapse of her world that had paralyzed her will, left her with the feeling that she must wear a veil, so she needn"t look people in the eye. The loss of Mildred Pierce, Inc., had been hard. It had been doubly hard because she would always know that if Wally Burgan had been a little less brutal, if Mrs. Gessler had been a little more loyal, and not gone off on her four-day drunk, telephoning the news of Ike"s blonde at hourly intervals, with reversed charges, from Santa Barbara to San Francisco—she might have weathered the storm. These calls had been one of the features of her stay in Reno, that six-week fever dream in which she constantly listened to Mr. Roosevelt, and couldn"t get it through her head "that she couldn"t vote for him this year, as she would be a resident of Nevada, not of California. And it had been hard, the wilting discovery that she could no longer do business under her own name. That, it turned out, was still owned by the corporation, and she thought "bitterly of the many debts she owed to Wally.