Miles.

I"d rather have put on a sock with a tarantula inside of it.

Jason Cromwell welcomed me to his dinner table with a fearsome handshake and slap on the arm. Even as I took my seat between him and Felix, I could feel Jason"s sharp eyes sizing me up. He was about six feet tall, graying, maybe a few years older than Arlene, and seemed quite fit. He shared his wife"s unusual November tan. I didn"t know it was that sunny in Cleveland. Like his wife, his clothes sported a western touch: snakeskin belt with a wide silver buckle, jeans, fancy brown boots, and a denim shirt with silver collar edges. A pair of mom-and-pop Jewish cowboys - what would Johnny Reb say? Hee-haw!

We began with a fantastic Caesar"s salad and very fresh banana m.u.f.fins, and headed directly into the steak, filet you could cut with a fork, nicely broiled in thin peppercorn au jus. Felix and I exchanged amused glances when Arlene and Jason hummed along to a soft country & western ballad playing on the nearby cathedral radio. I expected a polite, velvet-gloved interrogation from Jason at any minute, you know, the new friend"s first visit routine, but we finished dinner in relative silence, Johnny Cash"s "Home of the Blues" notwithstanding.

"What a fabulous meal. Thank you for having me."

"I"d have to die, waiting for one of my sons to give me a compliment like that." Arlene dipped her fingers into her water gla.s.s and flicked a few drops into Felix"s face, who responded by picking up his entire gla.s.s, threatening to wing it at his mom.

Felix cleared the plates from the table as Jason sat back and lit a large, dark cigar. "Do you guys have much homework?"

"We"ll be done by nine, Dad."

"Then get to it, so you can go swimming before they close." We began to leave the room. "Did you let your parents know you"re spending the night?"

"No, sir, I hadn"t. I will right now." Ugh.

Felix touched my arm. "You can call from my room, buddy." Arlene and Jason sent us off with big country smiles. I"d rather have made that call from somewhere out in that countryside.

Eight rings.

"h.e.l.lo?"

"Hi, Dad."

"Where the h.e.l.l are you?"

"Downtown. A friend of mine from school invited me to spend the night. Is that OK?"

Pause.

"Well, it"s too late to be taking the train home, so there isn"t much point in giving you permission."

"I have all my school stuff. We"re doing our homework together."

"You could have called hours ago. You"d better, next time."

"Fine."

"I don"t need that tone of voice from you, son. Save it for your teachers."

My pause.

"I"ll leave a note for your mother. Make sure you come straight home tomorrow."

"I will."

"By the way, that teacher of yours, Nicolas? He called."

My second pause.

"Did he leave a message?"

"He likes the opera you gave him."

Click.

I stared at the phone on Felix"s desk until he squeezed my shoulder from behind. My face was blank as he handed me a white terrycloth robe, oversized towel, and a yellow nylon bathing suit.

"Which one did you talk to?" The scotched one, I think.

"My Dad."

"Was he p.i.s.sed?"

"He"s been like that for a couple of years."

We finished our calculus without too much panic, our dull sociology with a sigh of relief, and the chapter on Prokofiev rather quickly, all before eight-thirty. We didn"t switch off using my books. We did it together, sitting next to each other on Felix"s bed, something I had never done before, but thought I"d like to do again.

It was a nice feeling, being so close to someone for so long.

I hid the photo alb.u.m in a separate pouch of my bag when Felix took a pee break.

"Are you ready to go swimming, pal?"

"I"ve been ready since dinner."

"Me, too."

Felix was naked before I began to pull my clothes off. He threw a sock at my face when he saw me watching him. He slipped on a pair of red floral Hawaiian print shorts, and waited for me to try on his dad"s suit, which was a little baggy on my frame.

"We look like we"ve been shopping at the Salvation Army."

Arlene and Jason"s bedroom door was closed as we pa.s.sed by. The apartment was dark, except for the television set and the skyline beyond the window.

We rode down in the elevator ward with an old woman, who was bundled up for a cold night"s stroll and looked at us oddly, standing there in a couple of bathrobes and bare feet. She seemed relieved to exit at the lobby, while we continued to the building"s second bas.e.m.e.nt.

Walking into the health club, we were instantly overwhelmed by a powerful chlorine odor from the pool. A cute blond girl in snug green shorts and a white sweatshirt with the club"s emblem on the left breast waved us past the reception desk after recognizing Felix. She smiled at me as I followed my friend into the men"s locker room, where we left our robes and towels, and acknowledged two thoroughly exhausted racquetball players who staggered in behind us.

The pool area was large but deserted, and somewhat claustrophobic, with a low ceiling, dark blue walls, and fairly dim lighting. In fact, there were more lights inside the rectangular pool itself than there were in the warm, musty room. It certainly had an atmosphere about it.

We stood at the edge of the deep end. "Pretty nice, isn"t it, buddy?"

"You"re right. I love it."

"Good. The last one to the other side has to strip in the elevator!"

I stared at Felix incredulously, and he winked at me. Before he could react, I pulled Felix" shorts halfway down to his knees and pushed him in the water before diving in and racing to the opposite side. I heard Felix begin his pursuit behind me and increased my speed, coming to a halt at the shallow end two full lengths ahead of him.

I jumped up and sat on the smooth concrete edge, my legs hanging in the clear water. Felix stroked up to my feet and spun around underwater, hurling back toward the deep end with a push from the wall of the pool. d.a.m.n! I sprang to my feet and shot back into the water, a few feet behind him. I nearly caught him as Felix reached the other side.

We draped our arms over the pool"s edge, out of breath. "I won! I won! I won! Na na, na NA na!" Felix stuck his tongue out at me before I decided to dunk him into shutting up. He climbed up the back of my legs and wrapped his arms around my waist from behind, pulling me off of the edge into the chlorinated depths. We wrestled underwater, trying to get a better hold on each other"s twisting body before stopping to get some air.

"I"m sick of losing races to you, Felix!"

"Hey, that"s what you get for underestimating us little guys!"

"Hm. Modest and aggressive."

"You"ll never beat me in any water sport - swimming, diving, water skiing, sailing, whatever!"

"Too bad you almost killed yourself getting out of East Berlin today." I splashed him in the face.

"I"m pretty proud of that!"

"Proud of what? Crawling under a train platform?"

"No, putz, being good in the water." He splashed me back. "Ever since I was two, we"ve spent the holidays at my Grandma"s place down in Fort Myers."

"Did you ever learn how to play ball?"

"A little bit. I catch better than I throw, and run a lot better than I hit. Dad thinks I"m a natural shortstop, but I don"t really play enough to be much good."

"You just don"t want anyone calling you "shortstop"."

"Well, that, too." We exchanged smiles. "So what are you good at?"

"Hitting." And keeping my hands off of you, Felix.

"Do you play in a league or anything?" I shook my head regretfully.

"You should, if you"re good at it."

"I hate groups." I don"t think I could handle having twenty three friends all at once.

Before Felix could encourage me further, the young receptionist trotted out from the ladies" locker room with an armful of towels. She pointed at a clock on the wall. "We"re closing in a few minutes, guys."

Felix nodded and climbed out of the pool, eyeing her carefully as she straightened up the chairs and switched off the underwater lights. The dark pool seemed scary, all of a sudden. Felix offered his hand and helped me from the water.

"Isn"t she cute?"

"You should have pushed her in with me," I lied.

We peeled off our suits and hurried into the shower. Felix unnerved me when he chose the showerhead facing mine, chatting happily about having won a swim meet back in Cleveland while he rubbed hot water over his body and I nodded and smiled and kept my eyes locked on him, forcing myself to listen With our wet suits wrapped in our towels, we headed back upstairs. As soon as the elevator door closed, Felix pointed at me.

"Take off your robe." Oh my G.o.d. "You lost the race, buddy. Remember?"

"I beat you to the shallow side," I stammered.

"After you pulled my trunks down, cheating b.a.s.t.a.r.d." Felix must have sensed my growing panic. He smiled devilishly. "I beat you round-trip, though."

The tiny elevator bell sounded and we reached our floor, thank G.o.d. "Too late, shortstop!" I gave Felix the finger and ran out down the hall, trying to keep my borrowed terrycloth robe out of his hands. We stopped at the foot of the apartment door and I wrestled the laughing Felix to the burgundy carpet. I began tickling him into submission, my hands reaching into his loosening robe, poking and pinching and pulling every inch of his soft, hairless chest, stomach, back, abdomen, and neck. Felix begged me to stop through his hysterical laughter, completely immobilized by my a.s.sault.

As soon as I saw it, I placed my hand around his thick erection for a moment and held it there, a moment we were both still and silent. "No," Felix whispered. I squeezed upward once, slowly, as Felix put his hand over mine. "Please don"t." I let go and stood up, tightly closing the borrowed robe around my shaking body. Felix"s face was flushed as he slipped back into his, his eyes pointed downwards.

My throat was dry and tight. I could barely breathe, afraid to imagine what would come next. Felix began to open the apartment door, but turned to look at me, instead. Our faces were filled with an odd mixture of apprehension and wonder, staring at each other as if for the first time. He hesitated, trying to collect his thoughts. I would have said something first, if I wasn"t too petrified to collect a few thoughts of my own.

"I"m sorry." Felix said it like he was afraid I might punch him to the floor, or turn around and walk out into the night.

"So am I." I tried to smile, and my friend tried to smile back.

I felt strangely rea.s.sured, listening to Felix lock the bedroom door behind us. He did not turn on the lights. My jeans, t-shirt, underwear, and socks were neatly folded at the foot of the lower bunk, beside an extra comforter and pillow. The clothes were freshly washed. The corner of the room was illuminated by the metallic glow of the high-rise hotel outside the bedroom window. Felix stood beside me.

"Did my Mom wash your clothes? She"s really cool that way." I nodded in the dark, suddenly wanting to tell Felix about my visiting Nicolasha"s house last weekend, about the fights with my Dad, about the divorce, about the photo alb.u.m, about everything, but all that came out was a babyish little sob that made me feel like a clown.

Then a few tears dropped down my cheeks, d.a.m.n it. I guess I was going to end up crying all this week, now.

Felix"s arm was around my shoulders in an instant, the hallway carpet scene swept off into some forgotten corner. "What"s the matter, buddy? Please don"t cry." Oh, well, that sure helped. Now I really began to cry, despite trying hard not to. Felix folded me into his arms, snuggled his face against the base of my neck as his hands delicately rubbed my back, and waited for me to cry myself out with patience.

And I thought I was embarra.s.sed in cla.s.s today...

I took a deep breath and stepped out of Felix"s arms into the full view of his toothy smile. "I"ve never cried in front of anyone else, before now."

Felix"s hands squeezed the side of my arms. His voice was a tender whisper, holding the a.s.surance of someone who already knew the answer to the question he was about to ask. "Is it as bad as crying alone?" I shook my head silently and glanced away. Felix squeezed my arms again. "Does that mean we"re real pals, now?"

I looked back at Felix and held a hand out, oh so formally. "How about buddies?"

"I like friends, better." Felix took my hand in both of his and pressed tightly.

"To h.e.l.l with it. Let"s be best friends." This time, Felix looked like he was wobbling with some unspoken emotion. I thought he"d like that. We hugged each other tight for a long time. I was too bushed to notice or care if Id popped a bone between us. If I did, Felix wasnt saying.

"We better get some sleep, buddy."

"I like friend, better." I messed up Felix"s hair and gave him a tiny push as he climbed to the top bunk. I put my clothes on the floor and slipped out of the robe and under the comforter before I realized what I was doing, or noticed Felix looking upside-down at me from above.

"Don"t you want some pajamas or something?"

"I"m more comfortable like this." Aside from the burning blush that was raising my body temperature. "Thanks, anyway."