"I"ve never had a single problem with any of that," she said. "You were always in my life and I always loved you."
"But?"
She smiled and side-stepped with greater skill than he would have thought she possessed. "The night you first kissed me, you ceased being my childhood hero Mr. St. James and became the man I meant to marry. It was simple for me."
"It"s never simple, Deborah."
"I think it can be. If two minds are one." She kissed him on the forehead, the bridge of his nose, his mouth. He shifted his hand from her hair to the back of her neck, but she hopped off the bed and unzipped her dress, yawning.
"Did we waste our time going to Bradford, then?" She wandered to the clothes cupboard and fished for a hanger.
He watched her, nonplussed, trying to make the connection. "Bradford?"
"Robin Sage. Did you find nothing in the vicarage about his marriage? The woman taken in adultery? And what about St. Joseph?"
He accepted her change in conversation, for the moment. It kept things easier, after all.
"Nothing. But his things were packed away in cartons and there were dozens of those, so there may be something still to be uncovered. Tommy seems to think it unlikely, however. He thinks the truth"s in London. And he thinks it has to do with the relationship between Maggie and her mother."
Deborah pulled her dress over her head, saying in a voice m.u.f.fled from within its folds, "Still, I don"t see why you"ve rejected the past. It seemed so compelling-a mysterious wife"s even more mysterious boating accident and all of that. He may have been phoning Social Services for reasons having nothing to do with the girl in the first place."
"True. But phoning Social Services in London? Why wouldn"t he have phoned a local branch if it was in reference to a local problem?"
"For that matter, even if his phoning had to do with Maggie, why would he phone London about her?"
"He wouldn"t want her mother to know, I expect."
"He could have phoned Manchester or Liverpool, then. Couldn"t he? And if he didn"t, why didn"t he?"
"That"s the question. One way or the other, we need to find the answer. Suppose he was telephoning with regard to something that Maggie had confided in him. If he was invading what Juliet Spence saw as her own patch-the upbringing of her daughter-and if he was invading it in a way that threatened her and if he revealed this invasion to her, perhaps to force her hand in some way, don"t you suppose she may have reacted to that?"
"Yes," Deborah said. "I tend to think she would have done." She hung up her dress and straightened it on the hanger. She sounded thoughtful.
"But you"re not convinced?"
"It"s not that." She reached for her dressing gown, donned it, and rejoined him on the bed. She sat on the edge, studying her feet. "It"s just that..." She frowned. "I mean...I think it more likely that, if Juliet Spence murdered him and if Maggie"s at the bottom of why she murdered him, she did it not because she herself was threatened, but because Maggie was. This is her child, after all. You can"t forget that. You can"t forget what it means."
St. James felt trepidation send its current of warning through the shorter hairs on the back of his neck. Her final statement, he knew, could lead to treacherous ground between them. He said nothing and waited for her to continue. She did so, dropping her hand to trace a pattern between them on the counterpane.
"Here"s this creature that grew inside her for nine months, listening to her heartbeat, sharing the flow of her blood, kicking and moving in those final months to make her presence known. Maggie came from her body. She sucked milk from her b.r.e.a.s.t.s. Within weeks, she knew her face and her voice. I think-" Her fingers paused in their tracing. Her tone tried and ultimately failed to become practical. "A mother would do anything to safeguard her child. I mean...Wouldn"t she do anything to protect the life she created? And don"t you honestly think that"s what this killing"s all about?"
Somewhere below them in the inn, Dora Wragg"s voice called, "Josephine Eugenia! Where"ve you got yourself to? How many times do I have to tell you-" A slamming door cut off the rest of the words.
St. James said, "Not everyone is like you, my love. Not everyone sees a child that way."
"But if it"s her only child..."
"Born under what circ.u.mstances? Having what kind of impact on her life? Trying her patience in what sort of ways? Who knows what"s gone on between them? You can"t look at Mrs. Spence and her daughter through the filter of your own desires. You can"t stand in her shoes."
Deborah gave a bitter laugh. "I do know that."
He saw how she had grasped his words and turned them round on herself to wound. "Don"t," he said. "You can"t know what the future has in mind for you."
"When the past is its prologue?" She shook her head. He couldn"t see her face, just a sliver of her cheek like a small quarter moon nearly covered by her hair.
"Sometimes the past is prologue to the future. Sometimes it isn"t."
"Holding on to that sort of belief is a d.a.m.ned easy way to avoid responsibility, Simon."
"It can be, indeed. But it can also be a way of getting on with things, can"t it? You always look backwards for your auguries, my love. But that doesn"t seem to give you anything but pain."
"While you don"t look for auguries at all."
"That"s the worst of it," he admitted. "I don"t. Not for us, at least."
"And for others? For Tommy and Helen? For your brothers? For your sister?"
"Not for them either. They"ll go their own way in the end, despite my brooding over what led up to their eventual decisions."
"Then who?"
He made no reply. The truth of the matter was that her words had jogged a fragment of conversation loose in his memory, giving rise to thought. But he was wary of a change in topic that she might misinterpret as further indication of his detachment from her.
"Tell me." She was starting to bristle. He could see it in the way her fingers spread out then clutched the counterpane. "Something"s on your mind and I don"t much like to be cut out when we"re talking about-"
He squeezed her hand. "It has nothing to do with us, Deborah. Or with this."
"Then..." She was quick to read him. "Juliet Spence."
"Your instincts are generally good about people and situations. Mine aren"t. I always look for bald facts. You"re more comfortable with conjectures."
"And?"
"It was what you said about the past being prologue to the future." He loosed his tie and pulled it over his head, throwing it in the direction of the chest of drawers. It fell short and draped against one of the pulls. "Polly Yarkin overheard Sage having a conversation on the telephone the day he died. He was talking about the past."
"To Mrs. Spence?"
"We think so. He said something about judging..." St. James paused in the act of unb.u.t.toning his shirt. He sought the words as Polly Yarkin had recited them. ""You can"t judge what happened then.""
"The boating accident."
"I think that"s what"s been niggling at me since we left the vicarage. That declaration doesn"t fit in with his interest in Social Services, as far as I can see. But something tells me it needs to fit somewhere. He"d been praying all that day, Polly said. He wouldn"t take any food."
"Fasting."
"Yes. But why?"
"Perhaps he wasn"t hungry."
St. James considered other options. "Selfdenial, penance."
"For a sin? What was it?"
He finished with his unb.u.t.toning and sailed the shirt the way of the tie. It too missed its mark and fell to the floor. "I don"t know," he said. "But I"m willing to lay whatever odds you"d like that Mrs. Spence does."
Where Past Is Prologue
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR.
N EARLY START, INITIATED long before the sun rose above the slopes of Cotes Fell, got Lynley to the outskirts of London by noon. The city"s traffic, which daily seemed to become ever more like a Gordian knot on wheels, added another hour to his travel time. It was just after one when he pulled into Onslow Square and claimed a parking s.p.a.ce that was being vacated by a Mercedes-Benz with its driver"s door crumpled like a defeated accordion and a scowling driver harnessed into a neck brace.
He hadn"t phoned her, either from Win-slough or from the Bentley. He"d told himself at first that it was far too early-when, after all, had Helen ever risen before nine in the morning if she wasn"t compelled to do so?- but as the hour grew later, he changed his reasoning to the fact that he didn"t want her to rearrange her schedule just to accommodate him. She wasn"t a woman who liked being at any man"s beck and call, and he wasn"t about to foist that role upon her. Her flat wasn"t that far from his own home, after all. If she"d gone out for the afternoon, he could simply toddle onwards to Eaton Terrace and have lunch there. He flattered himself with thinking how liberated all these considerations were. It was far easier than admitting the more obvious truth: He wanted to see her, but he didn"t want to be disappointed by Helen"s having an engagement that excluded him.
He rang the bell and waited, observing a sky the approximate colour of a ten-pence coin and wondering how long the rain would hold off and if rain in London meant snow in Lancashire. He rang a second time and heard her voice crackle with static from the speaker.
"You"re home," he said.
"Tommy," she said and rang him in.
She met him at the door to her flat. Without makeup, with her hair pulled back from her face and held in place with an ingenious combination of elastic and satin ribbon, she looked like a teenager. Her choice of conversation emphasised the similarity.
"I"ve had the most tremendous row with Daddy this morning," she said as he kissed her. "I was supposed to meet Sidney and Hortense for lunch-Sid"s discovered an Armenian restaurant in Chiswick that she swears is absolutely heaven on earth, if the combination of Armenian food, Chiswick, and heaven is even possible-but Daddy came to town yesterday on business, spent the night here, and we sank to new depths in our mutual loathing of each other this morning."
Lynley removed his overcoat. She"d been consoling herself with the rare luxury of a midday fire, he saw. On a coffee table in front of it were spread out the morning"s paper, two cups and saucers, and the remains of a breakfast that appeared to consist mostly of overboiled and half-eaten eggs and deeply charcoaled toast.
"I didn"t know you and your father loathed each other," he said. "Is this something new? I"d always got the impression you were rather his favourite."
"Oh, we don"t and I am, how true," she said. "Which is why it"s so utterly disagreeable of him to have such expectations of me. "Now don"t misunderstand me, darling. Your mother and I don"t for a moment begrudge you the use of this flat," he says in that sonorous way he has of talking. You know what I mean."
"Baritone, yes. Does he want you out of the flat?"
""Your grandmother intended it for the family, and as you"re part of the family, we can"t accuse you or ourselves of ignoring her wishes. Nonetheless, when your mother and I reflect upon the manner in which you spend your time," and all the etceteras at which he so excels. I hate it when he blackmails me about the flat."
"You mean "Tell me how uselessly you"ve been spending your days, Helen darling"?" Lynley asked.
"That"s just exactly it." She went to the coffee table and began folding the newspaper and stacking the dishes. "And it all came about because Caroline wasn"t here to cook his breakfast. She"s back in Cornwall-she"s definitely decided to return and isn"t that the decade"s best news, the blame for which, frankly, I lay directly on Denton"s doorstep, Tommy. And because Cybele is such a model of connubial bliss, and because Iris is as happy as a pig in the muck with Montana, cattle, and her cowboy. But mostly it was because his egg wasn"t boiled the way he wanted it and I burnt his toast-well, heavens, how was I supposed to know one had to hang over the toaster like a woman in love?-and that set him off. He"s always been as p.r.i.c.kly as a hedgehog in the morning anyway."
Lynley weeded through the information for the one point on which he had at least a degree of expertise. He couldn"t comment on the marital choices that two of Helen"s sisters had made-Cybele to an Italian industrialist and Iris to a rancher in the United States-but he felt conversant with at least one area of her life. For the past several years, Caroline had acted the role of maid, companion, housekeeper, cook, dresser, and general angel of mercy for Helen. But she was Cornwall born and Cornwall bred and he"d known London would wear uneasily upon her in the long run. "You couldn"t have hoped to hold on to Caroline forever," he noted. "Her family"s at Howenstow, after all."
"I could have done if Denton hadn"t seen fit to break her heart every month or so. I don"t understand why you can"t do something about your own valet. He"s simply unconscionable when it comes to women."
Lynley followed her into the kitchen. They set the dishes on the work top, and Helen went to the refrigerator. She brought out a carton of lemon yogurt and prised it open with the end of a spoon.
"I was going to ask you to lunch," he said hastily as she dipped into it and leaned against the work top.
"Were you? Thank you, darling. I couldn"t possibly. I"m afraid I"m too occupied with trying to decide how to make something of my life in a fashion both Daddy and I can live with." She knelt and rooted through the refrigerator a second time, bringing forth three more cartons. "Strawberry, banana, another lemon," she said. "Which would you like?"
"None of them, actually. I had visions of smoked salmon followed by veal. Champagne c.o.c.ktails fore, claret with, brandy aft."
"Banana, then," Helen decided for him and handed him the carton and a spoon. "It"s just the very thing. Quite refreshing. You"ll see. I"ll make some fresh coffee."
Lynley examined the yogurt with a grimace. "Can I actually eat this without feeling like little Miss m.u.f.fet?" He wandered to a circular table of birch and gla.s.s that fitted neatly into an alcove in the kitchen. At least three days of post lay unopened upon it, along with two fashion magazines with corners turned down to mark pages of interest. He flipped through these as Helen poured coffee beans into a grinder and set it to roar. Her choice of reading material was intriguing. She"d been investigating bridal gowns and weddings. Satin versus silk versus linen versus cotton. Flowers in the hair versus hats versus veils. Receptions and breakfasts. The registry office versus the church.
He glanced up to see that she was watching him. She spun away and dealt with the ground coffee intently. But he had seen the momentary confusion in her eyes-when on earth had Helen ever been nonplussed about anything?-and he wondered how much, if any, of her current interest in weddings had to do with him and how much of it had to do with her father"s criticism. She seemed to read his mind.
"He always goes on about Cybele," she said, "which puts him into a state about me. There she is: mother of four, wife of one, the grande dame of Milano, patroness of the arts, on the board of the opera, the head of the museum of modern art, chairwoman of every committee known to mankind. And she speaks Italian like a native. What a wretched sort of oldest sister she is. She could at least have had the decency to be miserable. Or to be married to a lout. But no, Carlo adores her, worships her, calls her his fragile little English rose." Helen slammed the gla.s.s carafe under the spout of the coffee maker. "Cybele"s as fragile as a horse and he knows it."
She opened a cupboard and began pulling out an a.s.sortment of tins, jars, and cartons, which she carried to the table. Cheese biscuits took up position on a plate with a wedge of brie. Olives and sweet pickles went into a bowl. To these, she added a splash of c.o.c.ktail onions.
She finished off the array with a hunk of salami and a cutting board.
"Lunch," she said and sat down opposite him as the coffee brewed.
"Eclectic gastronomy," he noted. "What could I have been thinking of, suggesting smoked salmon and veal?"
Lady Helen cut herself some brie and smoothed it onto a biscuit. "He sees no need for me to have a career-honestly, what a Victorian Daddy is-but he thinks I ought to be doing something useful."
"You are." Lynley tucked into his banana yogurt and tried to think of it as something one could chew rather than simply gum and swallow. "What about everything you do for Simon when he gets swamped?"
"That"s a particularly sore spot with Daddy. What on earth is one of his daughters doing dusting and photographing latent fingerprints, placing hairs on microscope slides, typing up reports about decomposing flesh? My G.o.d, is this the sort of life he expected the fruit of his loins to be living? Is this what he sent me to finishing school for? To spend the rest of my days-intermittently, of course, I don"t pretend to be doing anything far removed from frivolity on a regular basis-in a laboratory? If I were a man, at least I could fritter away my time at the club. He"d approve of that. It"s what he spent most of his youth doing, after all."
Lynley raised an eyebrow. "I seem to recall your father chairing three or four rather successful investment corporations. I seem to recall that he still chairs one."
"Oh, don"t remind me. He spent the morning doing so, when he wasn"t listing the charitable organisations to which I ought to be giving my time. Really, Tommy, sometimes I think he and his att.i.tudes stepped right out of a Jane Austen novel."
Lynley fingered the magazine he"d been looking through. "There are, of course, other ways to appease him, aside from giving your time to charity. Not that he needs to be appeased, of course, but supposing you wish to. You might, for instance, give your time to something else he considered worthwhile."
"Naturally. There"s fund raising for medical research, home visits to the elderly, working on one hot line or another. I know I ought to do something with myself. And I keep intending to, but things just get in the way."
"I wasn"t talking about becoming a volunteer."
She paused in the act of slicing herself a piece of salami. She placed the knife down, wiped her fingers on a peach linen napkin, and didn"t respond.
"Think how many birds the single stone of marriage would kill, Helen. This flat could go back to the use of your whole family."
"They can come here any time as it is. They know that."
"You could declare yourself too busy with your husband"s egocentric interests to be able to live a life of social and cultural responsibility as Cybele does."
"I need to start being more involved in things, anyway. Daddy"s right about that, although I hate to admit it."
"And once you had children, you could use their needs as a shield against whatever judgement your father might cast upon you for inactivity. Not that he"d cast any judgements at that point. He"d be too pleased."