"I"m nineteen, I think."
"And I"m two-and-twenty. How aged we are growing!" said Elizabeth, with a smile.
Then she asked after Mrs. Cliffe, but got only the brief answer, "Mother"s dead," given in a tone as if no more inquiries would be welcome. His two sisters, also, had died of typhus in one week, and Tom had been "on his own hook," as he expressed it, for the last three years.
He was extremely frank and confidential; told how he had begun life as a printer"s "devil," afterward become a compositor, and his health failing, had left the trade, and gone as servant to a literary gentleman.
"An uncommon clever fellow is master; keeps his carriage, and has dukes to dinner, all out of his books. Maybe you"ve heard of them, Elizabeth?" and he named a few, in a patronizing way; at which Elizabeth smiled, for she knew them well. But she nevertheless regarded with a certain awe the servant of so great a man, and "little Tommy Cliffe" took a new importance in her eyes.
Also, as he walked with her along the street to find an omnibus, she could not help perceiving what a sharp little fellow he had grown into; how, like many another printer"s boy, he had caught the influence of the atmosphere of letters, and was educated, self-educated, of course, to a degree far beyond his position. When she looked at him, and listened to him, Elizabeth involuntarily thought of Benjamin Franklin, and of many more who had raised themselves from the ink-pot and the compositor"s desk to fame and eminence, and she fancied that such might be the lot of "little Tommy Cliffe." Why not? If so, how excessively proud she should be!
For the moment she had forgotten her errand; forgotten even Miss Hilary. It was not till Tom Cliffe asked her where she lived, that she suddenly recollected her mistress might not like, under present circ.u.mstances, that their abode or any thing concerning them should be known to a s...o...b..ry person.
It was a struggle. She would have liked to see the lad again; have liked to talk over with him s...o...b..ry things and s...o...b..ry people; but she felt she ought not, and she would not.
"Tell me where you live, Tom, and that will do just as well; at least till I speak to my mistress. I never had a visitor before, and my mistress might not like it."
"No followers allowed, eh?"
Elizabeth laughed. The idea of little Tommy Clifie as her "follower,"
seemed so very funny.
So she bade him good-by; having, thanks to his gay frankness, been made acquainted with all about him, but leaving him in perfect ignorance concerning herself and her mistress. She only smiled when he declared contemptuously, and with rather a romantic emphasis, that he would hunt her out, though it were half over London.
This was all her adventure. When she came to tell it, it seemed very little to tell, and Miss Hilary listened to it rather indifferently, trying hard to remember who Tommy Cliffe was, and to take an interest in him because he came from s...o...b..ry. But s...o...b..ry days were so far off now--with such a gulf or pain between.
Suddenly the same fear occurred to her that had occurred to Elizabeth.
"The lad did not see the advertis.e.m.e.nt, I hope? You did not tell him about us?"
"I told him nothing." said Elizabeth. speaking softly, and looking down. "I did not even mention any body"s name."
"That was right; thank you."
But oh, the bitterness of knowing, and feeling sure Elizabeth knew too, the thing for which she thanked her; and that not to mention Ascott"s name was the greatest kindness the faithful servant could show toward the family.
CHAPTER XX.
Ascott Leaf never came home.
Day after day appeared the advertis.e.m.e.nt, sometimes slightly altered, as hope or fear suggested; but no word, no letter, no answer of any kind reached the anxious women.
By-and-by, moved by their distress, or perhaps feeling that the scape-grace would be safer got rid of if found and dispatched abroad in some decent manner, Mr. Ascott himself took measures for privately continuing the search. Every outward-bound ship was examined; every hospital visited; every case of suicide investigated: but in vain.
The unhappy young man had disappeared, suddenly and completely, as many another has disappeared, out of the home circle, and been never heard of more.
It is difficult to understand how a family can possibly hear such a sorrow, did we not know that many have had to bear it, and have borne it, with all its load of agonizing suspense, slowly dying hope,
"The hope that keeps alive despair," settling down into a permanent grief, compared to which the grief for loss by death is light and endurable.
The Leaf family went through all this. Was it better or worse for them that their anguish had to be secret? that there were no friends to pity, inquire, or console? that Johanna had to sit hour by hour and day by day in the solitary parlor, Selina having soon gone back to her old ways of "gadding about," and her marriage preparations; and that, hardest of all, Hilary had on the Monday morning to return to Kensington and work, work, work, as nothing were amiss?
But it was natural that all this should tell upon her; and one day Miss Balquidder said, after a long covert observation of her face, "My dear, you look ill. Is there any thing troubling you? My young people always tell me their troubles, bodily or mental. I doctor both."
"I am sure of it," said Hilary, with a sad smile, but entered into no explanation, and Miss Balquidder had the wise kindliness to inquire no further. Nevertheless, on some errand or other she came to Kensington nearly every evening and took Hilary back with her to sleep at No. 15.
"Your sister Selina must wish to have you with her as much as possible till she is married." she said, as a reason for doing this.
And Hilary acquiesced, but silently, as we often do acquiesce in what ought to be a truth, but which we know to be the saddest, most painful falsehood.
For Selina, it became plain to see, was one of the family no more.
After her first burst of self-reproachful grief she took Mr. Ascott"s view of her nephew"s loss--that it was a good riddance; went on calmly with her bridal preparations, and seemed only afraid lest any thing should interfere to prevent her marriage.
But the danger was apparently tided over. No news of Ascott came.
Even the daily inquiries for him by his creditors had ceased. His Aunt Selina was beginning to breathe freely, when, the morning before the wedding day, as they were all sitting in the midst of white finery, but as sadly and silently as if it were a funeral, a person was suddenly shown in "on business."
It was a detective officer sent to find out from Ascott Leaf"s aunts whether a certain description of him, in a printed hand-bill, was correct. For his princ.i.p.al creditor, exasperated, had determined on thus advertising him in the public papers as having "absconded."
Had a thunder-bolt fallen in the little parlor the three aunts could not have been more utterly overwhelmed. They made no "scene"--a certain sense of pride kept these poor gentlewomen from betraying their misery to a strange man; though he was a very civil man, and having delivered himself of his errand, like an automaton, sat looking into his hat, and taking no notice of aught around him. He was accustomed to this sort of thing.
Hilary was the first to recover herself. She glanced round at her sisters, but they had not a word to say. In any crisis of family difficulty they always left her to take the helm.
Rapidly she ran over in her mind all the consequences that would arise from this new trouble--the public disgrace; Mr. Ascott"s anger and annoyance, not that she cared much for this, except so far as it would affect Selina; lastly, the death-blow it was to any possible hope of reclaiming the poor prodigal. Who she did not believe was dead, but still, fondly trusted he would return one day from his wanderings and his swine"s husks, to have the fatted calf killed for him and glad tears shed over him. But after being advertised as "absconded," Ascott never would, never could, come home any home.
Taking as cool and business-like a tone as she could, she returned the paper to the detective.
"This is a summary proceeding. Is there no way of avoiding it?"
"One, Miss," replied the man, very respectfully. "If the family would pay the debt."
"Do you know how much it is?"
"Eighty pounds."
"Ah!"
That hopeless sigh of Johanna"s was sufficient answer, though no one spoke.
But in desperate cases some women acquire a desperate courage, or rather it is less courage than faith--the faith which is said to "remove mountains"--the belief that to the very last there must be something to be done, and, if it can be done, they will have strength to do it. True, the mountain may not be removed, but the mere act of faith, or courage sometimes teaches how to climb over it.
"Very well. Take this paper back to your employer. He must be aware that his only chance of payment is by suppressing it. If he will do that, in two days he shall hear from us, and we will make arrangements about paying the debt."
Hilary said this, to her sisters" utter astonishment; so utter that they let her say it, and let the detective go away with a civil "Good morning," before they could interfere or contradict by a word.
"Paying the debt! Hilary, what have you promised? It is an impossibility."
"Like the Frenchman"s answer to his mistress--"Madame, if it had been possible it would have been done already; if it is impossible, it shall be done." It shall, I say."