Tom grasped her hand as she stood by him, but he made no further demonstration, nor used any expression of grat.i.tude. He seemed far too ill. Sick people are always absorbed in the sad present; they seldom trouble themselves much about the past. Only there was something in the way Tom clung to her hand, helplessly, imploringly, that moved the inmost heart of Elizabeth.
"I"m very bad, you see. This cough; oh, it shakes me dreadfully; especially of nights."
"Have you any doctor?"
"The druggist close by, or rather, the druggist"s shopman. He"s a very kind young fellow, from our county, I fancy, for he asked me once if I wasn"t a s...o...b..ry man; and ever since he has doctored me for nothing, and given me a shilling too, now and then, when I"ve been a"most clemmed to death in the winter."
"Oh, Tom, why didn"t you write to me before. Have you actually wanted food?"
"Yes, many a time. I"ve been out of work this twelvemonth."
"But Esther?"
"Who?" screamed Tom.
"Your wife?"
"My wife? I"ve got none? She spent every thing till I fell ill, and then she met a fellow with lots of money. Curse her!"
The fury with which he spoke shook him all over, and sent him into another violent fit of coughing, out of which he revived by degrees, but in a state of such complete exhaustion that Elizabeth hazarded no more questions. He must evidently be dealt with exactly like a child.
She made up her mind in her own silent way, as indeed she had done ever since she came into the room.
"Lie down, Tom, and keep yourself quiet for a little. I"ll be back as soon as I can--back with something to do you good. You won"t object."
"No, no; you can do any thing you like with me. You always could."
Elizabeth groped her way down stairs strangely calm and self-possessed. There was need. Tom, dying, had come to her as his sole support and consolation--throwing himself helplessly upon her, never doubting either her will or her power to help him. Neither must fail. The inexplicable woman"s strength, sometimes found in the very gentlest, quietest, and apparently the weakest character, nerved her now.
She went up and down, street after street, looking for lodgings, till the evening darkened, and the Abbey towers rose grimly against the summer sky. Then she crossed over Westminster Bridge, and in a little street on the Surrey side she found what she wanted--a decent room, half sitting, half bedroom, with what looked like a decent landlady.
There was no time to make many inquiries; any thing was better than to leave Tom an other night where he was.
She paid a week"s rent in advance; bought firing and provisions; every thing she could think of to make him comfortable; and then she went to fetch him in a cab.
The sick man offered no resistance; indeed, he hardly seemed to know what she was doing with him. She discovered the cause of this half insensibility when, in making a bundle of his few clothes, she found a package labeled "opium."
"Don"t take it from me," he said pitifully, "it"s the only comfort I have."
But when he found himself in the cheerful room, with the fire blazing and the tea laid out, he woke up like a person out of a bad dream.
"Oh, Elizabeth, I"m so comfortable!"
Elizabeth could have wept.
Whether the wholesome food and drink revived him, or whether it was one of the sudden flashes of life that often occur in consumptive patients, but he seemed really better, and began to talk, telling Elizabeth about his long illness, and saying over again how very kind the druggist"s young man had been to him.
"I"m sure he"s a gentleman, though he has come down in the world; for, as he says, "misery makes a man acquainted with strange bedfellows, and takes the nonsense out of him." I think so too, and if ever I get better, I don"t mean to go about the country speaking against born gentlefolks any more. They"re much of a muchness with ourselves--bad and good; a little of all sorts; the same flesh and blood as we are. Aren"t they, Elizabeth?"
"I suppose so."
"And there"s another thing I mean to do. I mean to try and be good like you. Many a night, when I"ve lain on that straw, and thought I was dying, I"ve remembered you and all the things you used to say to me. You are a good woman; there never was a better."
Elizabeth smiled, a faint rather sad smile. For, as she was washing up the tea things, she had noticed Tom"s voice grow feebler, and his features sharper and more wan.
"I"m very tired," he said. "I"m afraid to go to bed, I get such wretched nights; but I think, if I lay down in my clothes, I could go to sleep."
Elizabeth helped him to the small pallet, shook his pillow, and covered him up as if he had been a child.
"You"re very good to me," he said, and looked up at her--Tom"s bright, fond look of years ago. But it pa.s.sed away in a moment, and he closed his eyes, saying he was so terribly tired.
"Then I"ll bid you good-by, for I ought to have been at home by now.
You"ll take care of yourself, Tom, and I"ll come and see you again the very first hour I can be spared. And if you want me you"ll send to me at once? You know where?"
"I will," said Tom. "Its the same house, isn"t it, in Russell Square?"
"Yes." And they were both silent.
After a minute, Tom asked, in a troubled voice.
"Have you forgiven me?"
"Yes, Tom, quite."
"Won"t you give me one kiss, Elizabeth?"
She turned away. She did not mean to be hard, but somehow she could not kiss Esther"s husband.
"Ah, well; it"s all the same! good-by!"
"Good-by, Tom."
But as she stood at the door, and looked back at him lying with his eyes shut, and as white as if he were dead, Elizabeth"s heart melted.
He was her Tom, her own Tom, of whom she had been so fond, so proud; whose future she had joyfully antic.i.p.ated long before she thought of herself as mixed up with it; and he was dying, dying at four-and-twenty; pa.s.sing away to the other world, where, perhaps, she might meet him yet, with no cruel Esther between.
"Tom," she said, and knelt beside him, "Tom, I didn"t mean to vex you. I"ll try to be as good as a sister to you. I"ll never forsake you as long as you live."
"I know you never will."
"Good-by, then for to-night."
And she did kiss him, mouth to mouth, quietly and tenderly. She was so glad of it afterward.
It was late enough when she reached Russell Square; but n.o.body ever questioned the proceedings of Mrs. Hand, who was a privileged person.
She crept in beside her little Henry, and as the child turned in his sleep and put his arms about her neck, she clasped him tight, and thought there was still something to live for in this weary world.
All night she thought over what best could be done for Tom. Though she never deceived herself for a moment as to his state, still she thought, with care and proper nursing, he might live a few months.
Especially if she could get him into the Consumption Hospital, newly started in Chelsea, of which she was aware Mr. Ascott--who dearly loved to see his name in a charity list--was one of the governors.