Chapter 354: Look Up If You Think That a Kitsch
Translator: EndlessFantasy Translation Editor: EndlessFantasy Translation
b.l.o.o.d.y Rose was back…
When Li Yi was about to deal a blow to Defiantly Tyrannical and company, this frustrating woman stepped onto the Eastern Continent once more.
Right now, the Iron Alliance was out in full force to claim the Throne. They could gather a few people to kill b.l.o.o.d.y Rose a couple of times, but if it dragged on, she may become a bit of a burden.
Defiantly Tyrannical’s bounty was now ineffective as well. b.l.o.o.d.y Rose grew more and more cunning each time, riding her Fire Hawk everywhere. Her movements were completely unpredictable, and she flew away at the first sight of trouble, unwilling to get embroiled in any battle. That just made her even harder to intercept.
“There’s one person who might be able to stop her…”
Li Yi was surfing the forums on the official site to kill time, and as a result, he came across a surprise.
There was still Sc.u.mbag w.a.n.g!
Sc.u.mbag w.a.n.g had posted the video where he killed b.l.o.o.d.y Rose onto the official site a long time ago, but because the forum t.i.tle was rather stupid, the post received very few clicks. Li Yi had also only seen the video by accident because he scrolled to the very end.
The video uploaded by Sc.u.mbag w.a.n.g was t.i.tled Spy Trying to Drive a Wedge Between Us!
At first, Li Yi just could not figure out how the EXP Pearl ended up in Sc.u.mbag w.a.n.g’s hands, and why Sc.u.mbag w.a.n.g sent the EXP Pearl back to him. It was only when Li Yi saw this video that it finally dawned on him.
The video was filmed in high resolution, and the audio was extremely clear as well. Li Yi watched it from the beginning all the way to the end and burst out laughing.
It seemed like the best way to cripple b.l.o.o.d.y Rose was to get Sc.u.mbag w.a.n.g’s help.
After all, everybody had their own weakness…
Li Yi prepared himself mentally and immediately messaged Sc.u.mbag w.a.n.g.
“Leader Sc.u.m, you there?”
“Yeah, who’s this?”
“I’m w.a.n.g’er’s Uncle, don’t you remember me? We talked before.”
Sc.u.mbag w.a.n.g froze and did not reply for a long time.
Suddenly, Sc.u.mbag w.a.n.g roared out, “I remember you, I remember you! It was your stupid idea last time that cost me the position of Castellan! Tell me where you’re at, gimme your coordinates, and Imma bust your *ss, one on one!”
Li Yi hurriedly closed the conversation.
‘D*mnit, I used the wrong name. He still remembers what happened last time, huh.’
A while later, Li Yi contacted Sc.u.mbag w.a.n.g again.
“Leader Sc.u.m, you there?”
“Yeah, who’s this? Your voice sounds kinda familiar.”
“I’m Hua Feihua’s uncle, we met before. Don’t you remember?”
“Sister Hua’s uncle?” Sc.u.mbag w.a.n.g paused for a moment before saying in surprise, “Oh, it’s you, Uncle! How could I ever forget you? Is something the matter?”
“Sigh, don’t bring it up. I’m being hunted down.” Li Yi abruptly changed the topic.
With a wail, Sc.u.mbag w.a.n.g said, “F*ck!
“Cough, Uncle, don’t misunderstand anything, I’m not saying f*ck you, really, I swear, I’m cursing at the person who’s killing you…”
Li Yi was speechless.
‘Motherf*cking idiot, would it kill you to not explain yourself for once?’
“Uncle, just go on, I’m listening.” Sc.u.mbag w.a.n.g sounded extremely sincere.
“That person’s called b.l.o.o.d.y Rose, and she’s killed me more than 50 times. Sigh…”
“F*ck me, it’s that b.l.o.o.d.y idiot!” Sc.u.mbag w.a.n.g flew into another rage.
“Don’t worry, Uncle, leave it all to me. I won’t stop until I bring b.l.o.o.d.y Rose back to Level 0, or my last name ain’t Sc.u.mbag w.a.n.g!”
“Leader Sc.u.m, your last name isn’t Sc.u.mbag w.a.n.g to begin with…” One of Sc.u.mbag w.a.n.g’s subordinates chimed in beside him.
“We’ll leave it at that for now, Uncle. After I finish off b.l.o.o.d.y Rose, please put in a kind word for me with Sister Huahua, okay?” Sc.u.mbag w.a.n.g had his own ideas as well.
“Of course! Of course!”
Done deal!
Both sides ended the conversation.
Now that it was all settled, Li Yi could just kick back and enjoy the show.
“My uncle’s been hunted, everybody get your *sses here.”
Sc.u.mbag w.a.n.g shouted in the Guild Channel and immediately riled up the crowd, earning a rapturous response.
“Who dares to kill Leader Sc.u.m’s uncle? They tired of living?”
“D*mnit, they can kill me, fine, but killing our Leader Sc.u.m’s uncle? Let me at ’em.”
“Let’s gather, for our Uncle!”
An hour later, more than 500 members of the Huashan Guild gathered at the Little Pinewood.
There were more than 500 of them, and they all had red names. Their equipment was a disordered mess, with Warriors wearing cloth armor and Wizards wearing plate armor. The most ridiculous ones were the Light Priests standing in a row at the very front. Not a single one held a staff; instead, they were all armed with steel swords, and they cut quite the imposing figure as they stood there.
“You think a melee Wizard is OP? You couldn’t be more wrong! A melee Priest is the real OP, just imagine, slas.h.i.+ng away while healing yourself? Who could stand up to that?”
That’s what Leader Sc.u.m said, and so the melee Priests were born.
Sc.u.mbag w.a.n.g nodded, satisfied, before saying in a deep voice, “This battle isn’t like the others, so I hope you put your all into it. We either succeed, or we succeed!”
“Leader Sc.u.m, what do you mean by we either succeed or succeed?” asked Lonely Perfume.
Sc.u.mbag w.a.n.g lost his temper. “Go be Fengxi’s underling tomorrow, your IQ’s disappointing!”
“I’m sorry, Leader Sc.u.m…” Lonely Perfume burst into tears.
There was a sarcastic laugh from the crowd. “A murderer can be sorry too, but what good does that do?”
Leader Sc.u.m’s eyes lit up. “Who said that? Whoever you are, come out!”
“Leader Sc.u.m, it’s me.” A short fatty ran out of the crowd, all smiles.
“Tell me your name.”
The short fatty roared, “I’m Defiant Mountain Gun, I joined the guild yesterday.”
Sc.u.mbag w.a.n.g nodded approvingly. “You’ve plenty of potential. Leader Sc.u.m likes you, so you’ll be coming with me from today on.”
“Leader Sc.u.m, what about me?” Lonely Perfume wept.
“Go look for Fengxi and get your IQ adjusted.”
“Sigh…”
…
It was the same Little Pinewood outside Shattered Frost City.
It was the same clearing.
b.l.o.o.d.y Rose and Sc.u.mbag w.a.n.g were reunited.
No one else could find b.l.o.o.d.y Rose, but Sc.u.mbag w.a.n.g could because he was b.l.o.o.d.y Rose’s only friend.
All it took was a word from him, and b.l.o.o.d.y Rose was there.
“Powerhouse, why did you call me here this time?”
b.l.o.o.d.y Rose still respected Sc.u.mbag w.a.n.g deeply, unaffected by the incident last time where she had been killed.
The corners of Sc.u.mbag w.a.n.g’s mouth twitched slightly, and his triangular eyes gleamed with viciousness.
“You killed my uncle!”
“Your uncle?” b.l.o.o.d.y Rose was utterly confused.
“You can kill me, camp me, curse me, f*ck me, and I’d be fine. I’d take it. But you went and killed my uncle! b.l.o.o.d.y Rose, I always thought you were a r.e.t.a.r.d, but I was wrong.”
“What are you saying, powerhouse?”
“You’re not a r.e.t.a.r.d, you’re a b*tchtard. Have you heard of the idiom, ‘a b*stard in a fireplace gets himself hot and bothered’?”
“That’s a saying, not an idiom, right?”
Sc.u.mbag w.a.n.g laughed coldly. “You’re making me hot and bothered. And you say that you still can’t tell why I called you out here?”
b.l.o.o.d.y Rose shook her head, stumped.
Sc.u.mbag w.a.n.g raised his kitchen knife and rushed at her.
“Kill you and get revenge for my uncle, of course!”
“Pfft! Pfft! Pfft!”
b.l.o.o.d.y Rose lifted her weapon and fought back. Within three moves, Sc.u.mbag w.a.n.g was laid flat.
“Powerhouse, I didn’t mean it. I…”
As soon as b.l.o.o.d.y Rose killed Sc.u.mbag w.a.n.g, she immediately regretted it.
“How dare you kill our Leader Sc.u.m! Brothers, go, let’s gang up on her!”
The short fatty, Defiant Mountain Gun, led more than 500 men into a charge, surrounding b.l.o.o.d.y Rose. However, instead of attacking her, they just spammed her with friend requests.
“What are you doing?”
b.l.o.o.d.y Rose had long since closed her friend requests. She could add others as friends, but if others tried to add her, she would not even see the request.
“Open your friend requests. Our Leader Sc.u.m said that we should add you as a friend.”
“Powerhouse said that?” said b.l.o.o.d.y Rose suspiciously.
“Yep, Powerhouse said that.”
“Alright then…”
In lieu of an apology, b.l.o.o.d.y Rose allowed herself to receive friend requests.
“Ding! Ding! Ding!”
More than 500 players sent b.l.o.o.d.y Rose requests all at once, making her dizzy…
“Go, brothers!”
With a wave of his hand, Defiant Mountain Gun sent several dozen Huashan subordinates pouncing at her at the same time. b.l.o.o.d.y Rose’s blade rose and fell, and seven players crashed to the ground, but there were just too many of them. Since they had all added her as their friend, they could approach her, and as a result, tragedy befell her…
Defiant Mountain Gun seized the chance to hug b.l.o.o.d.y Rose from behind, knocking her to the ground mercilessly.
“Strip her! Gang up on her!”
b.l.o.o.d.y Rose was quickly stripped down, the Durability on all her equipment disappearing. Even the scarf she used to cover her face fell off.
b.l.o.o.d.y Rose was not a beauty by anyone’s standard. In terms of her appearance, she was much more like a certain internet celebrity known as Sister Feng.
Her eyes bulged like a toad’s, her mouth was large enough to throw a dumpling into, and her upturned nostrils even dripped with mucus…
“F*ck, Brother Gun, I’ve gone soft.”
“Brother Gun, I can’t do it either. This’s just too much for my tastes.
“Brother Gun, I… Blergh…”
The others kept gagging, but one man continued to labor away, mounted on top of b.l.o.o.d.y Rose.
It was Defiant Mountain Gun!
“She’s still a woman! I just gotta close my eyes, and it’s all the same to me!”
As Defiant Mountain Gun said that, he took off his trousers and raped b.l.o.o.d.y Rose right in front of Sc.u.mbag w.a.n.g’s 500 subordinates!
He raped her!
This was the first and only successful rape in the history of the King of Pantheon game…
It was terrifying to behold. The heroine of a generation, b.l.o.o.d.y Rose, fell at the hands of Defiant Mountain Gun, just like that.
Sc.u.mbag w.a.n.g corpse-ran back to the scene. It was not that his Priests could not use the Resurrection Spell, it was just that everyone was too busy craning their necks and trying to catch a glimpse of the scene, such that they had clean forgotten about him.
“What’s happening over there? Make way, make way!”
“Leader Sc.u.m, it’s horrifying, don’t look…”
“What is it? What is it?”
All it took was 18 seconds!
Defiant Mountain Gun was already climbing off of b.l.o.o.d.y Rose.
“How do you feel, Brother Mountain Gun?”
“Not too bad, it’s just that I got some snot on my lips when I kissed her, so that’s a little icky.”
“Blergh blergh blergh…”
“Aren’t any of you gonna give her a go? C’mon, gang it up.”
“Blergh blergh blergh…”
Sc.u.mbag w.a.n.g squeezed his way through the crowd, and when he saw that scene, he was instantly stunned speechless.
“Leader Sc.u.m, wanna give it a try?” Defiant Mountain Gun grinned at Sc.u.mbag w.a.n.g, a wisp of snot trickling from his mouth.
The 500 subordinates threw up in all directions. Sc.u.mbag w.a.n.g was the only one who could still take it.
Sc.u.mbag w.a.n.g gave Defiant Mountain Gun a big thumbs-up. “Genius… I, Sc.u.mbag w.a.n.g, have lived for this long, but other than my old man, I’ve never admired anyone. You’re the first!”
Before Defiant Mountain Gun could reply, b.l.o.o.d.y Rose leaped up from the ground and hugged Defiant Mountain Gun from behind. She then summoned her Fire Hawk and flew into the sky…
“I, b.l.o.o.d.y Rose, have lived for this long, but I’ve never loved anyone. You’re the first!”
“Save me, Leader Sc.u.m!”
Defiant Mountain Gun’s screams of terror echoed through the sky as the Fire Hawk lifted them higher and higher, until they vanished from sight…
Ten days later, when Sc.u.mbag w.a.n.g was at home, he received an invitation to Miss Rose’s and Mr. Mountain Gun’s Wedding of the Century.
Exactly, it was a real-life wedding!
…