"The desire of thine eyes!" repeated Bernard. "How often I thought of that last February."
It was the only time he had referred to the loss of his little boy.
His wife had told her mother that he could not bear to mention it, and had poured out all her own feelings of sorrow and her struggle for cheerfulness and resignation alone with her or with Mysie; but he had shrunk from the least allusion to the little two year old Felix, who slept beneath a palm tree at Colombo.
Now, however, still holding his sister"s hand, he drifted into all the particulars of the little ways, the baby language, the dawning understanding, and the very sudden sharp illness carrying the beautiful boy away almost before they were aware of danger; and he took out the photograph from his breast, and showed her the little face, so recalling old fond remembrances. "Forbear to cry, make no mourning for the dead," he repeated. "Yes, the boy is saved the wear and tear and heat and burthen of the day, but it is very hard to be thankful."
"Ah, and it is all the harder if you have to leave your Lily."
"If--yes; but Travis MAY so arrange that we can stay, or I make only one voyage out to settle matters and then come home for good. If you are still bent on Carrigaboola you might come as far as Frisco with me. I may have to go there about the Californian affairs."
"That would be jolly. Yes, I think it will clench the matter, for I believe I am of more good at Carriga than anywhere else, though the heart of it is taken out of it for me; but one lives on and gets on somehow without a heart, or a heart set where I suppose it ought not to be entirely at least! And, indeed, I think that little one taught me better than ever before how to love."
"That"s what the creatures are sent us for," said Bernard, in a low voice. "And here are, looming in the distance, all the posse of girls to meet us."
"Ah-h!" breathed Angela, withdrawing her arm. "Well, Bear, you have given me something to look forward to, whether it comes to anything or not. It will help me to be thankful. I know they are good people, and the child will do well when once the pining and bracing are over. They are her own people, and it is right."
"Right you are, Angel!" said Bernard, with a fresh squeeze of the hand, as he resumed his own cheerful, resolute voice ere joining his sisters-in-law.
"What! Angela without her satellite!" cried Primrose.
"Too far," murmured Angela; but Mysie tried to hush her sister, perceiving the weaning process, and respecting Angela for it.
And the next moment Angela was challenging Bernard to a game at golf.
CHAPTER XXV--BEAR AS ADVISER
"Weary soul and burthened sore Labouring with thy secret load."
- KEBLE.
The early spring brought a new development. Thekla, who attended cla.s.ses at the High School, came home with unmistakable tokens of measles, and Primrose did the same, in common with most of their contemporaries at Rockstone. Nor was there any chance that either Lily Underwood at Clipstone or Lena Merrifield at the Goyle would escape; indeed, they both showed an amount of discomfort that made it safer to keep them where they were, than to try to escape in the sharp east wind and frost.
No one was much dismayed at what all regarded as a trifling ailment, even if dignified as German. Angela owned that she regarded it as a relief, since infection might last till the summer, and the only person who was--as he owned--trying to laugh at himself with Angela, was Bernard, who could not keep out of his mind"s eye a little grave at Colombo. As he walked home, at the turning he saw a figure wearily toiling upwards, which proved to be Wilfred. "Holloa! you are at home early!"
"I had an intolerable headache!"
"Measles, eh?"
"No such thing! Once when I was a kid in Malta. But I say, Bear,"
he added, coming up with quickened pace, "you could do me no end of a favour if you would advance me twenty pounds."
"Whew!" Bernard whistled.
"There is Lady Day coming, and I can pay you then--most a.s.suredly."
And an a.s.severation or two was beginning.
"Twenty pounds don"t fly promiscuously about the country," muttered Bernard, chiefly for the sake of giving himself time.
"But I tell you I shall have a quarter from the works, and a quarter from my father (with his hand to his head). That"s--that"s--. Awful skinflints both of them! How is a man to do, so cramped up as that?"
"Oh! and how is a man to do if he spends it all beforehand?"
"I tell you, Bernard, I must have it, or--or it will break my mother"s heart! And as to my father, I"d--I"d cut my throat--I"d go to sea before he knew! Advance it to me, Bear! You know what it is to be in an awful sc.r.a.pe. Get me through this once and I"ll never--"
Bernard did not observe that the sc.r.a.pe of his boyhood over the drowned Stingo had hardly been of the magnitude that besought for twenty pounds. He waived the personal appeal, and asked, "What is the sc.r.a.pe?"
"Why, that intolerable swindler and ruffian, Hart, deceived me about Racket, and--"
"A horse at Avoncester?" said Bernard, light beginning to dawn on him.
"I made sure it was the only way out of it all, and they said Racket was as sure as death, and now the brute has come in third. Hart swears there was foul play, but what"s that to me? I"m done for unless you will help me over."
"If it is a betting debt, the only safe way is to have it out with your father, and have done with it."
"You don"t know what my father is! Just made of iron. You might as well put your hand under a Nasmyth"s hammer." And as he saw that his hearer was unconvinced, "Besides, it is ever so much more than what I put upon Racket! That was only the way out of it! It is all up with me if he hears of it. You might as well pitch me over the cliff at once!"
"Well, what is it then?"
Incoherently, Wilfred stammered out what Bernard understood at last to mean that he had got into the habit of betting at the billiard table, surrept.i.tiously kept up in Ivinghoe Terrace in a house of Richard White"s, not for any excessive sums, and with luck at first on his side than otherwise; but at last he had become involved for a sum not in itself very terrible to elder years, and his creditor was in great dread of pressure from his employers, and insisted on payment. Wilfred, who seemed to have a mortal terror of his father, beyond what Bernard could understand, had been unable to believe that the offence for so slight a sum might be forgiven if voluntarily confessed, had done the worst thing he could, he had paid the debt with a cheque which had, unfortunately, pa.s.sed through his hands at the office, trusting in a few days to recover the amount by a bet upon the horse, in full security of success! And now!
Before the predicament was made clear, Wilfred reeled, and would have fallen if Bernard had not supported him, and he mumbled something about giddiness and dazzling, insisting at the same time that it was nothing but the miserable pickle, and that if Bernard would not see him out of it, he might as well let him lie there and have done with it.
Happily they were in the immediate neighbourhood of the house, and it was possible to get him into the hall before he entirely collapsed upon a chair; but seeming to recover fresh vigour from alarm at the sound of voices, he rushed at the stairs and dashed up rapidly the two flights to his own room, only throwing back the words, "Dead secret, mind!"
Bernard was glad to have made no promise, and, indeed, Wilfred"s physical condition chiefly occupied him at the moment, for one or two of the girls were hurrying in, asking what was the matter, and at the answer, "He is gone up to his room with a bad headache," Valetta declared with satisfaction, "Then he has got it! We told him so!
But he would go to the office! and, Bernard, so has Lily."
"Pleasing information!" said Bernard, nettled and amused at the tone of triumph, while Mysie, throwing behind her the words, "It may be nothing," went off to call Mrs. Halfpenny, who was in a state of importance and something very like pleasure. Bernard strode up to his wife"s room, leaving Valetta half-way in her exposition that when all the family had been laid low by measles at Malta, Wilfred had been a very young infant, and it had always been doubtful whether he had been franked or not; and how he had been reproached with looking ill in the morning, but had fiercely insisted on going down to the office, which he was usually glad to avoid on any excuse.
By the time the household met at dinner, it was plain that they had to resign themselves to being an infected family, though there were not many probable victims, and they were likely only to have the disorder favourably, with the exception of Wilfred, who had evidently got a severe chill, and could only be reported as very ill, though still he vehemently resented any suspicion of being subject to such a babyish complaint. But when the break up for the night was just over, Lady Merrifield came in search of Bernard, entreating him to come to speak to Wilfred, who was more and more feverish, almost light-headed, and insisting that he must speak to Bear, "Bear had not promised," reiterating the summons, so that there was no choice but to comply with it.
He found Wilfred flushed with fever, and violently restless, starting up in bed as he entered, and crying out, "Bear, Bear, will you? will you? You did not promise!"
"I will see about it! Lie down now! There"s nothing to be done to- night."
"But promise! promise! And not a word!"
All this was reiterated till Wilfred at last was exhausted for the time, and to a certain degree pacified by the rea.s.suring voice in which Bernard soothed him and undertook to take the matter in hand, hardly knowing what he undertook, and only feeling the necessity of quieting the perilous excitement, and of helping the mother to bring a certain amount of tranquillity.
His own little girl was going on well, and quite capable of being amused in the morning by being compared to a lobster or a tiger lily; and Primrose was reported in an equally satisfactory state, ready either for sleep or continuous reading by her sisters. Only Wilfred was in the same, or a more anxious, state of fever; and as soon as Bernard had satisfied himself that there was no special use in his remaining in the house, he set out for the marble works office, having made up his mind as to one part of what he had expressed as "seeing about it."
He had hardly turned into the Cliffe road before he met Captain Henderson walking up, and they exchanged distant inquiries and answers as to whether each might be thought dangerous to the other"s home; after which they forgathered, and compared notes as to invalids. The Captain had heard of Wilfred"s going home ill, and was coming, he said, to inquire.
"He seems very seriously ill," was the answer. "I imagine there has been a chill, and a check. I was coming to speak to you about him."