"FORGET, RENOUNCE ME, HATE WHATE"ER WAS MINE."
Mr. Topsparkle had gone to the City dinner, and Lady Judith had closed her doors against the b.u.t.terfly acquaintance whose visiting hours could scarce be kept within reasonable limits, so eminently social was that age in which ladies of quality met every evening to ruin each other at cards or dice.
The sun was setting, and Judith was alone in her favourite parlour, a fine panelled room on the first floor, with three tall narrow windows facing westward; a room fit for a palace, with ceiling and doors painted by Gillot, and with a chimney-piece by Grinling Gibbons, crowded with rarest Indian cups and platters, and innumerable monsters and G.o.ds in jade and ivory, ebony, bronze, and porcelain. The sofa and chairs were of Gobelin tapestry, brought over by Mr. Topsparkle, and were the exact copy of a set that had been made for Madame de Montespan. Everywhere appeared evidences of wealth and taste. The Princess of Wales had no such apartment. The d.u.c.h.ess of Kendal would have sold the curios and rich furniture, had they been hers to turn into cash. Lady Judith scorned her surroundings as if they had been dirt. She had always talked contemptuously of her husband"s rage for the arts, but the town took that air of hers for suppressed pride. But of late she had felt something worse than scorn for these costly treasures; she had felt absolute hatred for every object a.s.sociated with the man she loathed.
"Why could I not have married Lavendale, to live in a hut or a gipsy"s van?" she thought; and it seemed to her as if all the luxuries in which she had rioted, the cup of pleasure which she had drained to the dregs, had been odious to her from the very beginning. It was a phase of ingrat.i.tude, perhaps, to which runaway wives are subject.
"Thank G.o.d, I shall be far away from this rubbish to-morrow," she said to herself, pacing up and down the room, impatient for the hour which should bring her freedom. "How my soul pants for solitude and simplicity--that sweet solitude of two who in heart and mind are as one!
O, the delight of the long, careless journey to the sunny South! The rapture of strange inns, where no one will know me as Lady Judith Topsparkle; the fortune of the road, good or ill; bad dinners, sour wines, garrulous landlords, changing landscapes, sea, mountain, wood, valley--and my beloved always by my side--in sunlight and moonlight, in calm and in storm!"
She looked at the Sevres timepiece on the mantelshelf. How slowly the hands moved! She almost thought they must have stopped, and went across to listen for the beat of the pendulum. Yes, the clock was going regularly enough: it was she whose life went so fast. No swing of the pendulum could keep pace with that pa.s.sionate heart of hers.
The sun was down; the western sky had reddened to blood colour. Hark!
there was a step on the stairs. His, of course. She stood with throbbing heart, ready to sink into his arms.
No, it was not his step. It was firm, and light, and quick--a young man"s step, but not _his_. There was no melody she had known all her life more familiar to her ear than Lavendale"s footstep. She could not be mistaken in that.
A footman opened the door and announced Mr. Durnford.
Lady Judith turned with an air of haughty interrogation. Her frown and the angry flash from her dark eyes asked plainly by what right he approached her at such an hour. And then she remembered the closeness of the friendship between Durnford and Lavendale, and her heart sank with a sudden fear.
"Is his lordship ill?" she asked eagerly, as if the world knew but one lordship.
"No, madam; but I come from him. I am the bearer of a letter."
He took a sealed letter from his breast-pocket and handed it to her.
She s.n.a.t.c.hed it from him, and turned to the window, where there was just light enough to read it, her bosom heaving, her cheeks whitening to the hue of her powdered hair.
The letter was all tenderness: a letter of renunciation and farewell, eloquent with saddest feeling: a letter which to a less imperious nature might have been salvation. But Judith wanted to go to perdition her own way; and on a woman bent upon losing her soul for her lover, all unselfish reasoning must needs be wasted.
"Have _I_ counted the cost?" she asked herself, "and if not I, why should he be so punctilious? Lavendale! Lavendale, whose very name is a synonym for dissipation and debauchery--for _him_ to turn mentor and lecture me! O, it is too much!" and then, turning fiercely upon Durnford, she exclaimed,
"This is your work, sir."
"Indeed, no, madam."
"Indeed, yes, sir. You know all about this letter. You stood by his elbow while he wrote--you dictated it. "Tis _your_ new-fledged sobriety that has come between my love and me. What, after his letter of yesterday, burning with pa.s.sion, he writes to-day like a schoolmaster, and preaches of repentance and the fear of a lifelong remorse. What is my remorse to him, if it ever came, when he has my love--my soul"s devoted illimitable love? Why, I would hang upon the wheel beside him, hang there and suffer. I would endure the torments that slew Ravaillac, the tortures Brinvilliers suffered, for his sake; and shall I fear the scorn of a little world in which there are scarce half a dozen virtuous women? Mr. Durnford, to speak freely, since you doubtless know all that has pa.s.sed between his lordship and me--I can tell you that I _have_ counted the cost, and esteem it a _bagatelle_. So I pray you take back my lord"s letter, which your virtue has inspired, and bid him come to me at once. I want to see him, and not wise sentences dictated by another."
"I can a.s.sure your ladyship I had no part in that letter. "Twas my friend"s own impulse moved him to write. It is by his wish I am here to bring you his farewell."
"Pshaw! I tell you, sir, I see through it all. Your protestations are useless. Go and send his lordship to me this instant."
"That were not easy, madam. Lord Lavendale is at his place in Surrey, thirty miles from London."
"He is thirty miles off, when I have been expecting him here every moment, when I have made all my plans--looked my last at this hateful house--was ready to fling on my cloak and go with him. O, the trickster, the poltroon, to play fast and loose with the woman who loves him! Tell your master, sir, that he is no gentleman, or he would never have penned that letter."
"I have no master, madam; and I protest, my friend Lavendale was never a truer gentleman than when he renounced a lady whom he adores."
"I do not believe in his adoration. He has basely lied to me. It was a caprice--a transient fancy--an amus.e.m.e.nt--a wager, perhaps. Yes, a wager, like his affair with Chichinette. He has wagered a thousand or so that he would bring me to the brink of an elopement, and now he and his friends are laughing at me."
"You know his heart too well to suspect him of such baseness, madam.
Believe me that it is in your interest alone that letter was written.
Lord Lavendale"s absence to-night is the highest proof he can give you of his love--a self-sacrificing love."
"He is a coward--a coward to strike such a blow! He knows how I love him." She burst into tears, and fell sobbing upon her sofa, her face hidden, her hands clasped above her head, all her body shaken by the vehemence of her grief.
O, bright dream that she had dreamt--never to be realised! That glorious vision of life in sunny lands, a life that should have been an endless love-song--gay, flowing, melodious as a ballad by Suckling or Prior. The journey, whose every stage fancy had pictured; the fetterless existence, unoppressed by the restraints of ceremony, or the formalities of a Court--life lived for its own sake, not to please the public eye. And he baulked her every hope; he flung her back upon the husband she loathed--the splendour of which she was sick unto death. He told her that for her sake it was best they should part; that reputation is the jewel of a woman"s life; that he had reflected in solitude and silence upon the sacrifice she had been about to make for him; and that reflection had convinced him he would be a scoundrel to accept such a sacrifice. Loving her pa.s.sionately, devoted to her with all his heart, honour constrained him to bid her adieu for ever.
"Coward, coward, coward!" she hissed between her clenched teeth, when there came a lull in her storm of grief.
Then she rose in her wrath, tall as Juno, straight as a dart, and faced Herrick with a sardonic smile.
"Well, sir, we have played out our comedy (his lordship and I), and the play is somewhat shorter than I fancied it would be; the curtain is down, and the candles are out; the spectators can all go home again. If "twas not a wager on his lordship"s side, "twas almost as pretty a device any way. I acknowledge that you and he are winners: you have had the best of me."
She made him a low curtsy, one of those graceful sweeping curtsies of the patch and powder period which are an extinct art. She swept the ground with her brocade train and rose again, swan-like, or like a new Venus rising from billows of silk and lace. She had dashed the tears from her cheeks, and when the footman came in presently to light the candles in the sconces, there was no sign of grief upon her face, save its unnatural pallor, and the hectic spot on each cheek which intensified that livid whiteness.
"Is it an impertinence to wish you good-night, Mr. Durnford?" she asked, when the servant had retired.
"Nay, Lady Judith, I would not trespa.s.s on your courtesy for another moment." He bowed, and was departing, when she stopped him.
"There was a wagon to carry my trunks to New Cross," she said. "It will look foolish if my luggage is diverted that way while I--"
"The wagon has been stopped, madam. I saw to that an hour ago."
"Then there is no more to be said, and his lordship need apprehend no ill-consequences from his--jest."
"Lady Judith, I am convinced you know better than--"
"I know nothing, sir, except that I have been fooled," she answered, her eyes flashing angry fire at him from under the darkly-pencilled brows.
"Why are you such ages in taking your leave? Good-night, sir, good-night."
She pulled a bell-rope with an impetuous hand, which sent a loud ringing through the silent house. Two lacqueys flew to answer her summons, thinking there was something amiss.
"The door!" she said. "Show Mr. Durnford to his chair."
The moment he was gone she flung herself upon her sofa, tore down the elaborate edifice of powdered locks, plucked open her bodice, and abandoned herself to a fit of hysteria. She lay, face downwards, on the sofa in her disorder and dejection, like Cleopatra after Actium, when Caesar"s swift galleys had come down upon her, and all the intoxication of false hope was over.
She lay thus for about a quarter of an hour--a long agony--and then rose suddenly and hurried to her dressing-room, which was the adjoining apartment.
Here she changed her brocade for an Indian silk nightgown, bathed her swollen eyelids with scented water, and gathered up her streaming locks before she rang for her maid.
"I have changed my mind, Zelie," she said; "I shall go to Lady Townley"s drum. My headache is cured."
Zelie expressed herself enchanted, despatched messengers right and left for her ladyship"s hair-dresser and her ladyship"s chairmen, lighted the candles in her ladyship"s powdering-closet, brought forth jewel-cases, satin trains, brocaded sacques, embroidered petticoats, for choice.
"I will wear white," said Judith, without so much as a side-glance at that heap of finery; "nothing but white. I have a foolish fancy, Zelie.