a gnawin" serpent. How "twill all end I dunno."
When alone in her room, Bertha"s mind again reverted to Ben Fordyce. As she compared him with Humiston, he seemed handsomer and more boyishly frank than ever. What did Joe Moss mean by calling Mr. Humiston "blase."
She had seen that word in novels and it always meant something wicked.
How could this weary, sick man be wicked? She pitied him and wished to help him. "Why should he take so much interest in me? He don"t have to.
Of course the Mosses are nice to me on Congdon"s account, but why does this great artist want me to come to his studio in New York? He talks poor, so maybe he wants me to buy some of his pictures." That her money was a lure for wasps she did not yet realize. That the waiters and clerks buzzed round her because she was rich, she knew; but that these men, who talked of beauty and the higher life, could flatter her with attentions with a base motive was incredible.
She was shrewd as her Yankee forbears, but she was also an idealist, and these artist folk now seemed to her the highest types she had ever known or was likely to know. She felt the mystery and the power in Humiston"s personality, and his bitter and rebellious, almost blasphemous, words were counterpoised by his paintings, which she acknowledged to be beautiful--too beautiful for her to comprehend. He looked like a man of sorrow and weary of battle, and she longed to know more about him. When he was not fierce he was melancholy; evidently his life had been a failure. "Why shouldn"t I buy some of his pictures?" she asked herself.
Hitherto the answer to any such question had been, "Can we afford it?"
but now another and deeper query came in answer, like an echo: "Is it right to spend Mart Haney"s money? I am only his trained nurse, not his wife," and she now knew that she could not be his wife. She shrank from the weight of his hand, and each day made clearer the wide s.p.a.ces of years, of family, of ideals, which lay between them. The kiss Ben Fordyce had pressed upon her lips had brought this revelation. But of this she was not yet aware; she was only conscious of a growing dread of the future. Her duties as his nurse were lightening. Lucius, indeed, now took many of her tasks upon himself, and she no longer helped him with his shoes or coat, and, what was still more significant, she could not calmly think of going back to these wifely services.
She dwelt treacherously on Haney"s own admission: that she had been in a sense entrapped. He had believed himself a dying man at the time, and she had been too excited, too exalted by the lurid romance of the scene to be clear about anything save the wish and the will to save him; and now she knew that at bottom of all her willingness to serve him lay the consciousness that he was on his death-bed. Afterwards he had been to her only a big-hearted, generous friend, in need of love and companionship. This understanding had made it easy for her to prepare his meals, to help him, as a nurse would help him, to dress and undress.
She had lost all of the fear and much of the admiration in which she used to greet him as he swung into the office of her little hotel. He had become to her an invalid, a child to be jollied and humored, and yet respected; for no one could have been kinder or more scrupulously just than he. And it was the recollection of all his acts of self-sacrifice and loving patience which gave her a.s.surance that he would never require obedience, though he might sue for it.
Her danger lay in herself. "If he _does_ ask me to be his real wife--then I must either agree or leave. It won"t be right for me to take all these benefits unless--"
And with this thought, the big house in the Springs, the sleek horses, their shining carriages, the auto-car, her dresses, the service of the big hotel, and the consideration her husband"s money gave to her, all a.s.sumed a new and corrupting l.u.s.tre. She was growing accustomed to luxury and the thought of giving it up made her shiver like one who faces a plunge into a dark night and an icy river. Besides, her sacrifice would involve others. Her mother, her brother, were already roundly ensnared in Mart"s bounty.
Her head was aching with it all, when a comforting thought came to her.
It was not necessary to decide it at that moment, and with a sigh of relief she threw it aside and sat down to write a letter to her mother.
"I ought to have written before, but I"ve been jumped right into the middle of things here. The letters Frank Congdon gave me took me into an artistic bunch about as gay and queer as Frank is, but they"ve been mighty nice to me. I"ve been setting for my bust to Mr. Moss, who is a sculptor. He has a big studio clear on the top of one of the tallest blocks here and has some dandy lamps and things. I"ve bought some to bring back. I met a Mr. Humiston there from New York, and he made a sketch of me--wants me to see his studio in New York. I don"t know whether I"ll go on or let Mart go with Lucius. Lucius is all right--I don"t see how I got on without him. He knows everything. I wish I had half the education he"s got. He"s up on all the society ways and puts me on. For instance, he told me the nice thing would be to give a dinner to this artist push and to the people that Dorothy give me a letter to, and I"m going to do it. Lucius will look out for the whole thing. You should see the way the waiters tend. I reckon Lucius has told "em we"re made of money. I"m afraid we"re getting spoilt, Muzz. It would be pretty tough to go back to the hotel now, wouldn"t it?
"We went to see Mart"s sister, f.a.n.n.y. Her house was a sight. It was clean enough, but littered--well, litter is no name for it--but she"s a good old thing and so is McArdle. He sat and looked at us the whole time like a turkey blind in one eye--never said a word the whole time but "pa.s.s the p-taties." I liked him though. He"s a kind of sculptor, too--makes patterns for all these little acorns and leaves and do-funnies on stoves. They"ve got forty-"leven children and need help and I"m perfectly willing Mart should help "em. We"re looking up houses now. He"s going to buy a place for "em on the west side. Wednesday night I went to see the Doctor Brents, Dorothy"s friends. They had a dinner--very nice, but they all kind o" sat "round and waited for us to perform. I guess they thought we were mountain lions. But they didn"t make much out o" me. They was one chap there with goggles who looked at Mart like an undertaker. He"s a scientific doctor--one of these fellers that invent new ways of doing things. His name is Halliday. I liked Dr.
Brent pretty well--but Mrs. Brent only so-so. The doctor wants to "dagnose" Mart"s case--says it won"t cost a cent. We all went to a show at night and the Captain was just about petered to a point. He"s better though. The lower alt.i.tude helps his circulation. I guess his heart _is_ affected. He"s afraid now he won"t ever be able to go back to the mines.
He wants to slide on to New York and see his father and wants me to go--but I"d rather come home--I"m homesick for the hills. They"re nice to me here--but I want to see the old Peak once more. Tell" (here she wrote "Ben" and blotted it) "tell Mr. Fordyce that we"re all right and to keep us posted every day. We see by the papers that the mine-owners are going to throw the unions out of business. If they try that they"ll be war again. We"ll be home soon--or at least I will. I"m getting home-sicker every minute as I write."
She added a postscript. "Don"t show my letters to _any one_. I wish I"d "a" had a little more schooling."
CHAPTER XIX
THE FARTHER EAST
Haney visibly brightened as the days went by, and took long rides in his auto, sometimes with Bertha, sometimes alone with Lucius, and now and then with some old acquaintance, who, having seen his name in the paper, ventured to call. They were not very savory characters, to tell the truth, and he did not always introduce them to Bertha, but as his health improved he called upon a few of the more reputable of them, billiard-table agents, and the like of that, and to these proudly exhibited his wife.
Bertha had hitherto accepted this with boyish tolerance, but now it irritated her. Some of these visitors presumed on her husband"s past and treated her with a certain freedom of tone and looseness of tongue which made plain even to her unsuspecting nature that they put no high value on her virtue--in fact, one fellow went so far as to facetiously ask, "Where did Mart find you? Are there any more out there?" And she felt the insult, though she did not know how to resent it.
Haney, so astute in many things, saw nothing out of the way in this off-hand treatment of his wife. He would have killed the man who dared to touch her, and yet he stood smilingly by while some chance acquaintance treated her as if she had been picked out of a Denver gutter. This threw Bertha upon her own defence, and at last she made even impudence humble itself. She carried herself like a young warrior, sure of her power and quick of defence.
She refused to invite her husband"s friends to lunch, and the first real argument she had thus far held with him came about in this way. She said, "Yes, you can ask Mr. Black or Mr. Brown to dinner, but I won"t set at the same table with them."
"Why not?" he asked.
"Because they"re not the kind of men I want to eat with," she bluntly replied. "They"re just a little too coa.r.s.e for me."
"They"re good business men and have fine homes--"
"Do they invite you to their homes?"
"They do not," he admitted, "but they may--after our dinner."
"Lucius says it"s their business to lead out--and he knows. I don"t mind your lunching these dubs every day if you want to, but I keep clear of "em. I tell you those!"
And so it fell out that while she was going about with the Mosses and their kind, Mart was explaining to Black and Brown that his wife "was a little shy." "You see she grew up in the hills like a doe antelope, and it"s hard for her to get wonted to the noise of a great city," he laboriously set forth, but at heart he did not blame her. He was coming to find them a little "coa.r.s.e" himself.
Humiston was deeply enthralled by Bertha"s odd speech, her beauty, her calm use of money, and lingered on day by day, spending nearly all his time at Moss"s studio or at the hotel, seeking Mrs. Haney"s company. He had never met her like, and confessed as much to Moss, who jocularly retorted: "That"s saying a good deal--for you"ve seen quite a few."
Humiston ignored this thrust. "She has beauty, imagination, and immense possibilities. She don"t know herself. When she wakes up to her power, then look out! She can"t go on long with this old, worn-out gambler."
"Oh, Haney isn"t such a beast as you make him out. Bertha told me he had never crossed her will. He"s really very kind and generous."
"That may be true, and yet he"s a mill-stone about her neck. It"s a shame--a waste of beauty--for the girl is a beauty."
It was with a sense of relief that Moss heard Bertha say to his wife: "I guess I"ve had enough of this. It"s me to the high ground to-morrow."
"Aren"t you going on to the metropolis?"
"I don"t think it. I"m hungry for the peaks--and, besides, our horses need exercise. I think I"ll pull out for the West to-morrow and leave the Captain and Lucius to go East together. I don"t believe I need New York."
To this arrangement Haney reluctantly consented. "You"re missin" a whole lot, Bertie. I don"t feel right in goin" on to Babylon without ye. I reckon you"d better reconsider the motion. However, I"ll not be gone long, and if I find the old Dad hearty I may bring him home with me.
He"s liable to be livin" with John Donahue. Charles said he was a shiffless whelp, and there"s no telling how he"s treating the old man.
Anyhow, I"ll let you know."
She relented a little. "Ma"be I ought to go. I hate to see you starting off alone."
"Sure now! don"t ye worry, darling. Lucius is handy as a bootjack, and we"ll get along fine. Besides, I may come back immegitly, for them mine-owners are cooking a h.e.l.l-broth for us all. Havin" a governor on their side now, they must set out to show their power."
Ben kept them supplied with home papers, and as Bertha took up one of these journals she found herself played upon by familiar forms and faces. The very names of the streets were an appeal. She saw herself sporting with her hounds, riding with Fordyce over the flowery Mesa, or facing him in his sun-bright office discussing the world"s events and deciding upon their own policies and expenditures. She grew very homesick as these pleasant, familiar pictures freshened in her vision, and her faith in Ben"s honesty and essential goodness came back to her.
Moreover her mind was not at rest regarding Haney; much as she longed to go home, she felt it her duty to remain with him, and as she lay in her bed she thought of him with much the same pity a daughter feels for a disabled father. "He"s given me a whole lot--I ought to stay by him."
She admitted also a flutter of fear at thought of meeting Ben Fordyce alone, and this unformulated distrust of herself decided her at last to go on with Mart and to have him for shield and armor when she returned to the Springs.
There are certain ways in which books instruct women--and men, too, for that matter--but there are other and more vital processes in which only experience (individual or inherited) teaches. In her desultory reading, little Mrs. Haney, like every other citizen, had taken imaginative part in many murders, seductions, and marital infidelities; and yet the motives for such deeds had never before seemed human. Now the dark places in the divorce trials, the obscure charges in the testimony of deserted wives, were suddenly illumined. She realized how easy it would be to make trouble between Mart and herself. She understood the stain those strangers in the car could put upon her, and she trembled at the mere thought of Mart"s inquiring eyes when he should know of it. Why should he know of it? It was all over and done with. There was only one thing to do--forget it.
Surely life was growing complex. With bewildering swiftness the experiences of a woman of the world were advancing upon her, and she, with no brother or father to be her guard, or friend to give her character, with a husband whose very name and face were injuries, was finding men in the centres of culture quite as predatory as among the hills, where Mart Haney"s fame still made his glance a warning. These few weeks in Chicago had added a year to her development, but she dared not face Ben Fordyce alone--not just yet--not till her mind had cleared.
In the midst of her doubt of herself and of him a message came which made all other news of no account. He was on his way to Chicago to consult Mart (so the words ran), but in her soul she knew he was coming to see her. Was it to test her? Had he taken silence for consent? Was he about to try her faith in him and her loyalty to her husband?
His telegram read: "Coming on important business." That might mean concerning the mine--on the surface; but beneath ran something more vital to them both than any mine or labor war, something which developed in the girl both fear and wonder--fear of the power that came from his eyes, wonder of the world his love had already opened to her. What was the meaning of this mad, sweet riot of the blood--this forgetfulness of all the rest of the world--this longing which was both pleasure and pain, doubt and delight, which turned her face to the West as though through a long, shining vista she saw love"s messenger speeding towards her?
Sleep kept afar, and she lay restlessly turning till long after midnight, and when she slept she dreamed, not of him, but of Sibley and her mother and the toil-filled, untroubled days of her girlhood. She rose early next morning and awaited his coming with more of physical weakness as well as of uncertainty of mind than she had ever known before.
Haney was also up and about, an hour ahead of his schedule, sure that Ben"s business concerned the mine. "It"s the labor war breaking out again," he repeated. "I feel it in my bones. If it is, back I go, for the boys will be nading me."
They went to the station in their auto-car, but, at Bertha"s suggestion, Mart sent Lucius in to meet their attorney and to direct him where to find them. The young wife had a feeling that to await him at the gate might give him a false notion of her purpose. She grew faint and her throat contracted as if a strong hand clutched it as she saw his tall form advancing, but almost instantly his frank and eager face, his clear glance, his simple and cordial greeting disarmed her, trans.m.u.ted her half-shaped doubts into golden faith. He was true and good--of that she was completely rea.s.sured. Her spirits soared, and the glow came back to her cheek.