"But-" Evard stepped forward to protest. Simon planted his elbow in Evard"s mid-section. "Ooof!"
"Stand aside, Evard. We shall escort the baroness to her husband."
The nearer they came to the bedchamber door, the less certain Tess grew of the wisdom in confronting Kenric. Aye, this was foolish. But it was too late to turn back. Simon had already rapped on the door. She put her hand on the latch but Simon shook his head and pushed her behind his back. He rapped on the door then waited for Kenric"s order to enter.
The sight of Simon in his doorway made Kenric bolt upright from his chair, his sword already in hand. Simon held up his hand to stop him. "The baroness is safe, milord. She believes you are in danger and has reason to fear for your life." Simon pulled Tess to his side. "We felt it necessary to bring her here in all haste."
Kenric sheathed his sword, his eyes never leaving his wife. "Close the door behind you, Simon."
Tess"s gaze swept slowly around the bedchamber, noting that little had changed. She heard the door close and finally allowed herself to look at Kenric. His arms were crossed against his chest and his feet braced, waiting for her to explain what urgency brought her here.
"You forgot this in the solar," she said weakly, holding out the parchment. He made no move to take the scroll and she walked forward to lay it on the table. There was a menacing feel in the air that she tried to ignore.
"What did you see?" He gazed so intently into her eyes that Tess had to look away, bowing her head as she grasped the ta.s.sel of her braid and began to worry at the ends with her fingers.
"Just a warning that you might be in danger."
"You"re lying."
Tess nodded her head without looking up. "I read the king"s message."
"You did what?" His tone said Kenric didn"t believe that, either.
" "Tis truth. Friar Bennet taught me the skill." Tess finally met Kenric"s dark gaze and saw that he thought that another lie. She picked up the scroll and unrolled a portion to read the king"s greeting. "From Edward, King of England, defender of G.o.d"s word on earth, wise in his benevolence and awful in his vengeance, his words as told to Alfred of Carlys on this twenty-fourth day of-"
Kenric s.n.a.t.c.hed the scroll from her hands and tossed it into the fire. "The message was not yours to read. You will have your annulment, Tess. I did not lie to you about that. The king will grant me as much for taking you from the MacLeiths. I have conceded that you are right about our marriage and will convince Edward as well."
Kenric turned away, wondering what she would do next to make his decision more difficult, more painful. Simply saying the words was bad enough. How many times did she want him to repeat them? The scent of flowers came to him. With his back to Tess, he was left staring at the bed. He closed his eyes, knowing her presence was too much of a strain for his starved senses. "Return to the solar, Tess. You should not have come here."
"Nay, I would spend my last night at Montague in your bed."
Kenric turned slowly to face her, his incredulous expression fading to anger and suspicion. "What is your game, Tess?"
"If you truly intend to annul our marriage, then this will likely be the last night we will have any privacy, the last night I can hope to change your mind."
"You"ve wanted an annulment since the moment we were married," he said evenly. "Do not think to convince me that you have changed your mind at this late date."
"I was wrong," she said quietly. Kenric shook his head, refusing to believe her. Tess nodded. "In the time we have been parted, I have given much thought to our marriage, what it would truly mean to have it ended. The price is too high, milord. I thought to sacrifice myself to spare Remmington, yet there is every possibility that the MacLeiths will ignore even the law of the church. They have disregarded every other. I promised before G.o.d to honor and obey my husband, yet I have done neither in great quant.i.ty. Remmington has been yours since the day we married. It will be yours even if our marriage is annulled. I blinded myself to the fact that you are lord of Remmington, that you are capable of judging what is best for those estates and that it is indeed your right alone. I would plead against needless slaughter should you lay siege to my home, but I will honor any decision you make. I would remain your wife willingly, milord."
Kenric closed the distance between them in two easy strides. He wrapped one hand firmly around her throat, pulling her forward none too gently until their foreheads were almost touching. Tess"s eyes grew round with fright, but she did not struggle against his hold.
"Do you think I am fool enough to believe any of those lies?" He shook her once, his eyes narrowing. "What do you hope to gain by them? Tell me the truth, Tess!"
Tears formed in her eyes and the words poured out painfully. "I would do anything to stay with you, even if it means being no closer than the solar. I would forsake Remmington to cling to the hope that I might see you occasionally. I would betray my king if I thought it would buy your forgiveness."
He relaxed his grip on her throat slightly then he released her, pushing her back a step. "You are a better liar than I gave you credit for."
"Please," she whispered, her tears flowing unchecked. "Tell me what to say and I will say it gladly. If I have hurt your pride then take mine. I have no use for it without you."
"Very pretty words," he drawled, without revealing a trace of his inner turmoil. She"d already told him more than he"d ever dreamt she would say, words he would be ten times a fool to believe. He crossed his arms again and looked down at Tess as if he found her worthless. "There is nothing you can say. If you want to stay here tonight, do so and I will use you thoroughly. It will make no difference on the morrow."
That should make her turn tail and run. Whatever her reasons for this ridiculous game, she would never share her precious body, knowing his decision would not change. He didn"t believe for a minute that she didn"t want the annulment she"d plotted for months. There was some devious reason behind her lies that he couldn"t perceive with his thoughts so muddled by her tempting words. She would retreat to the solar and design some new scheme to get what she wanted. She would plan new lies to torment him. She was undoing her bodice.
"What the h.e.l.l do you think you"re doing?" he demanded, staring at her hands as they fumbled at the laces.
"I would have one more memory. If you will have me this night, then I am yours."
Kenric grabbed her arms and pulled her closer, shaking her once. "I"ve told you it will make no difference! Why are you doing this?"
"Because I love you," she whispered brokenly.
Those were the words. Of any she could have said to him, those were the only ones that could crumble his defenses. He"d heard them too often in his mind, certain she would never think to use them as a weapon. They sliced through him as cleanly as the sharpest knife. He dragged her forward until she was pressed against his chest, his body reacting instantly to the feel of her, lowering his face to within a breath of hers. "Again! Tell me again."
"I love you. Even knowing that people I have known all my life will die because of it, I love you still."
Kenric gazed into the depths of her violet eyes, trying to discern the lie, finding nothing but her soul laid bare. A soul as wounded as his own. "G.o.d help you if you are lying, Tess."
His mouth crushed hers with all the pent-up emotions of too many nights without her, of too many days spent dreading those nights. His arms wrapped around her shoulders and hips, lifting her from the floor and pressing her tightly against his body until he could get her no closer. She was returning his kiss, returning his a.s.sault. Her arms were wrapped around his neck, her hands fisted so tightly in his hair that his scalp burned. He didn"t care. She loved him.
How many nights had he dreamt that she would come to him? Kept prisoner in the solar, she"d still managed to accomplish it. He"d wished impossible wishes that she would have some affection for him. She had told him three times that she loved him. He was afraid to end the kiss, afraid he would wake up in another sweat and discover this was but another feverish dream. Fear was taking hold that she would gaze up at him and say she"d been mistaken, that she didn"t mean a word of what she"d just said. He had to know, had to be sure. He drew away from her mouth reluctantly, intending to separate them, but buried his face against her neck instead, his lips parted against the smooth column, stroking the silky skin while he waited for his heart to stop slamming against his chest. That wasn"t going to happen. He murmured the question that plagued him against her ear.
"Can you overlook the fact that I am a b.a.s.t.a.r.d?" He felt her stiffen in his arms and the pounding in his chest turned painful. He finally drew away and gazed down into her face.
"I can overlook the fact that you are a warlord who has likely killed more people than I will ever know. The circ.u.mstances of your birth bear no comparison." Her hand brushed upward to stroke the lines of his face with her fingertips, her expression intent. "I have never lied to you about that, Kenric. "Tis said b.a.s.t.a.r.ds have no souls, yet the man who raised you was the one who lacked a soul, for he tried to rob yours. I do not fear the name "b.a.s.t.a.r.d." "Tis what that name has made you that I fear. From the time I could walk I have been taught to nurture life, to protect it at all costs. You were taught to destroy it."
Tess eased her hand over his forehead, smoothing away the scowl. "Nay, I do not judge you, husband. "Tis fact and you know it. Have you never wondered if we were meant to be together because of our differences? To balance them against each other?"
Kenric shook his head. Her reasoning was astounding, fanciful at the very least, but he would not challenge it. If this was not the truth, they were the most beautiful lies ever spoken. He was a warlord and women feared him because he was a b.a.s.t.a.r.d. He was a b.a.s.t.a.r.d and Tess feared him because he was a warlord. She made no sense. He didn"t care.
The lies between them were lies he"d told himself. That night before her escape had been truth. Every word he"d tormented himself with had been spoken from her heart. Tess was so obsessed with trying to spare the lives of a few serfs and retainers that she"d intended to sacrifice her own. He reasoned that she"d deserved to be punished for thinking her life any less valuable. He prayed she"d learned her lesson. Another would surely kill him.
"You will not change me," he warned. "I cannot ride into a battle with any worry of where my sword will fall."
"I know," she murmured, framing his face with her hands. "It has taken me a long time to accept that fact."
The kiss he gave her was long and lingering, savoring her sweetness. He lifted her into his arms and carried her to the bed, startling a gasp out of Tess when he took a steep, swift step into the center and turned to sit in the middle with his legs crossed, cradling her in his lap. Smiling down at her, he picked up her braid and slipped the ribbon from the end, deftly unplaiting her hair.
"I just want to hold you for a little while," he explained, brushing his fingers through her hair to spread it across her shoulders. "Have you never wondered why your hair is undone each morning?"
Tess gazed up at him with a puzzled frown. He delighted in the mixture of disbelief and understanding that pushed away the troubled expression.
"Aye, you sleep sounder than anyone I"ve ever known." He leaned down for the kiss he"d wanted each night in her bed. When it was finished, her eyes looked far from sleep. He lowered his head again, intending to banish her thoughts entirely. "I"ve often wondered if the one time was coincidence, or if I can truly make you faint with pleasure."
25.
"When did you eat last?"
Tess"s stomach growled again at the very mention of food. It was nearly time for evening meal and she was starved. The babe was responsible for her hunger these days. The time was right to tell Kenric of his child. They"d made love an hour ago with a fury she still found astonishing. In the sated aftermath that followed, they were using their hands to leisurely reacquaint their bodies, elbows propped on their pillows, lying face-to-face on the bed to gaze hypnotically upon the nudity of the other. The caresses ranged from gentle curiosity to frank intimacy. Tess continued to explore the planes of Kenric"s hip while his fingertips abandoned the pattern he"d been tracing on her ribs and outlined the curve of her breast.
"I ate this morning," she answered, groaning softly when Kenric circled his palm against her. "There is something I would like to tell you."
Kenric kissed a path to her mouth, murmuring against her lips. "Tell me again that you love me."
Kenric made her speak the words around his kiss. His mouth trailed off for a leisurely exploration of her neck and Tess stroked her fingers through his hair. Making her repeat the vow so often probably meant he felt the same, even if he hadn"t actually said the words aloud just yet. She still wasn"t quite certain how he would take the news of his impending fatherhood. Surely he would be happy, yet there was Guy to consider as well. Now that she thought about it, he hadn"t exactly said that he intended to keep her. Nay, his last specific words on the subject were that lovemaking would not change his decision.
"Oh, all right," he murmured, kissing the downward curve of her lips. He rolled off the bed, then smiled down at her. "I will see that you are fed. Your strength must be maintained if we are to keep at this all night."
Tess smiled back, glad of a few more minutes to gather her courage. He was going to be angry with her for keeping the secret so long. She was sure of it.
Kenric found the discarded coverlet and made sure his wife"s exquisite body was hidden beneath it before opening the door to his chamber. He was surprised to find Fitz Alan waiting on the other side with Simon and Evard.
"Fetch our evening meal," he told Evard in a clipped voice, turning to Fitz Alan when the young soldier scurried away. He stretched one arm above his head to drape his hand over the top corner of the open door and leaned his shoulder against the doorjamb, the stance deceptively relaxed, really meant to conceal the delightful view of Tess in his bed. He wouldn"t share that sight with others. "What do you want?"
"Your lack of modesty still astounds me at times, Baron." Fitz Alan rolled his eyes, keeping them conspicuously averted. Simon was gazing at the ceiling as well.
Kenric glanced down and remembered he was naked. His tone turned surly. "I"ve no time to pander to your delicate sensibilities, Fitz Alan. What are you doing here?"
"The baggage carts are being lined up in the bailey," Fitz Alan answered in a stilted voice. "Do we leave for London on the morrow?"
Kenric shifted his elbow on the doorjamb and rubbed his chin. "Nay, we leave three days from the morrow. That will still get us to London within the time Edward allotted."
"What about the herald?" Fitz Alan asked. "He awaits the company of his host in the great hall."
Kenric scowled. He"d forgotten all about the king"s envoy. He didn"t have time for that nuisance, either. "My wife and I must have eaten tainted fish for evening meal last night. Tell the herald we are ill and will be unable to leave our bed before the journey. Convey our apologies."
"Aye, milord."
Kenric wanted to smack the impudent grin from Fitz Alan"s face then noticed that Simon wore the same. Fish hadn"t appeared on a Montague trencher for nearly a fortnight. They were both trying his patience.
"Simon, you will see that meals are delivered to our door during this "illness," but no one is to enter this room without first gaining permission. Leave the tray outside the door if there is no response. See that a bath is delivered each night as well. Nay, the baths will be delivered in the mornings." Kenric decided he wanted to enjoy that particular ritual in full daylight. Another thought made him scowl and he spared a quick glance over his shoulder, knowing Tess was too far away to hear this conversation, but lowering his voice just the same. "Under no circ.u.mstances will my wife be allowed outside this door. Do we understand each other?"
Simon rubbed his mouth and stared down at the tips of his boots to hide his grin. "Aye, milord."
"Good." He took a step back and slammed the door with enough force to satisfy his irritation. He was smiling again by the time he turned around to walk back to the bed. "Now, where were we?"
He pulled the covers away to admire the curves of Tess"s naked bottom and trim back. He"d grown accustomed to the traces of scars on her back long ago and noticed them no more than he did his own. He kissed a path from the back of her knee, across her hip and waist, then up over her shoulder to nuzzle playfully at her neck. "I think we were about to work on our appet.i.tes."
He eased onto the bed behind Tess and fit his body against hers, reaching down to sweep his hand from one trim ankle to her slender neck, lingering occasionally in between. She caught his hand between hers and pressed an urgent kiss in the palm. He shifted closer, pleased by the effect of that kiss, but she eased away and turned to face him.
"There is something I must tell you."
Kenric"s fingertip drew an outline around the serious look in her eyes, knowing it had nothing to do with her appet.i.te for food or her husband.
"What is it?" he asked quietly.
Tess caught his hand for another kiss, this one pressed against the back. When she lifted her eyes to meet his gaze, they were pale with fear and he shifted uneasily.
"You will be made a father before this year is done, milord."
Kenric"s smile grew slowly until his whole face was transformed by the exuberant expression. But the smile faded just as slowly and his hand drew away from her. "How long have you known?"
"A few days." She caught a stray lock of her hair with her fingers to twist the ends.
"How long have you known?" His voice was quietly menacing now. His hand covered hers and pushed it onto the bed. "Tell me."
"I suspected when the morning sickness started the day after you sent me to the solar." She didn"t mention that it had lasted day and night. It was at an end and no longer mattered. What mattered now was Kenric"s expression, growing more remote by the second.
"Was that the reason you came here today?"
"Nay! I did not know if you would welcome the news. Knowing your pledge to Guy, I had no idea which way it would sway your mind about our marriage. I-I still don"t know if you intend to keep me!"
Tess turned her face into the pillow to hide her tears, but they subsided abruptly when she felt his hand stroke her hair.
"You have to ask?" He brushed her hair away from her face and she risked meeting his intense gaze. "No man alive could take you from me."
"You believe me?"
Once before he"d fooled himself into thinking he couldn"t tell her lies from truth. He would never doubt his instincts again. "How could you think I would be anything but overjoyed?"
"The child will be the heir to Montague, as well as Remmington. Your pledge to Guy-"
He placed a finger over Tess"s lips to silence her. "Our child will have no claim to Montague."
"But-"
Kenric pressed his hand over her mouth. "I will be stripped of my t.i.tle to Montague and any claim to these estates as my punishment for kidnapping you and marrying without my king"s permission, taking as my own a woman betrothed to another."
Tess bit his hand. He eased it aside and she propped herself up on one elbow to glare down at him. "That is outrageous! The king, himself, ordered you to do all of that! Against your wishes! You are to be punished for your loyalty?"
" "Tis the "punishment" I requested, Tess."
"But why would..."
Kenric nodded, encouraging the flicker of understanding. "Aye, Tess. The t.i.tle will fall to Guy. "Tis nothing I ever wanted. My army and what I have earned on campaigns will still be mine. And you," he added with a teasing smile, flicking his fingertip down the slope of her nose. " "Tis possible the king will someday bestow your father"s t.i.tles on me as payment for past services, but the t.i.tle will fall to my son regardless. Still, I would find it irksome to bow my head to my own child, simply because he outranked me."
"I cannot picture it," Tess said honestly, settling her head against the pillows again. Kenric frowned at his wife, hesitating a moment before he forced her to look up at him. "I shall manage to survive the indignity," he a.s.sured her, wrapping her in his arms.
"I thought you would be angry because I didn"t tell you sooner."
"I am not overly pleased." His thoughtful expression grew darker. "You knew you carried my child the day you risked your life on the training grounds."
Tess nodded guiltily, lowering her lashes.