Amanda sat on the seat of the gazebo in the darkness and listened to the night sounds. She"d had a delicious dinner with her father and it had been pleasant even if neither of them said much. She was afraid to open her mouth after what he"d said that morning about her boring him to death. She somehow didn"t think he"d like to discuss the President"s new tariff laws. As the meal progressed, she found herself wishing Dr. Montgomery were there. He would know what to talk about. He"d be able to talk about the weather without comparing cirrostratus clouds with c.u.mulonimbus clouds, as Amanda would do. In the end, all she"d said was, "It"s hot," and J. Harker had said, "It sure is." But even without conversation, it had been nice sitting with her father and eating real food.
After dinner she hadn"t gone to her room to do more Greek translation but instead had turned and walked outside in the growing darkness, and now she sat in the gazebo looking at the stars. She began to remember the times she"d sat here with Dr. Montgomery. She remembered watching him eat three slices of cake; she remembered his kissing her and asking to see her hair down. She remembered how he"d returned to the house one night and seen just the shadow of her dress yet he"d still come to her.
She straightened on the bench and told herself she should be thinking about Taylor, not Dr. Montgomery, but right now all she could think about was the unfairness of Greek translation. Taylor had merely blamed her for Dr. Montgomery"s leaving without allowing her to explain, and not believing what little she had told him.
A car pulled into the garage and for a moment Amanda held her breath. It wasn"t Dr. Montgomery returning, of course, and she certainly didn"t want him to return, but just maybe, perhaps it was him.
By the time she heard five footsteps on the gravel, she knew it was Taylor. Dr. Montgomery"s footsteps were heavier, more... more predatory, while Taylor walked light and quick, almost as if he were running.
He didn"t see her, as she knew he wouldn"t, and he went on into the house. She was supposed to be in her room, having had only one tiny meal all day, deep into Moby d.i.c.k, but instead she was outside enjoying the quiet darkness.
She listened as doors inside the house opened and closed and she knew her absence had been discovered. Thank heaven no one had wanted her last night when she"d been at the dance.
After a while the house quietened and the back door opened and closed and she could hear Taylor"s footsteps on the gravel. "Amanda?" he called in a reserved way.
For some reason, Amanda almost didn"t answer him. She told herself it was because he"d been unfair, but part of her said that Taylor was not the sort of man a woman wanted to sit under the stars with. This feeling was Dr. Montgomery"s fault, she reminded herself. If he hadn"t come...
"Here," she called to Taylor, then watched as he approached.
"Do you mind if I sit down?"
"Of course not," she answered, then began to explain. "It was so hot in my room that I couldn"t seem to think. I was just taking a break." She stood. "I"ll get back to work now."
"Wait," he said, and when she paused at the doorway, he continued. "Amanda, maybe I was a little harsh this morning. You have always done your best with any a.s.signment I have given you and I suppose Dr. Montgomery was no different. I"m afraid I was angry at myself as much as at anyone else and I took it out on you."
Amanda stood motionless where she was. Taylor had never admitted to any fault before. "I understand," she whispered. "Dr. Montgomery has made us all on edge."
"I think I sent you off with him because I quite frankly couldn"t abide him."
"Oh?" Amanda said, turning back into the gazebo. Taylor had never been this personal with her before.
"Such an insolent, lazy man. He"s obviously never had two nickels to rub together, and I guess I resented his being in your father"s fine house. Can you forgive me?"
"Why, yes, certainly." She hesitated. "Do I have to do more translation of Moby d.i.c.k?"
Taylor winced. "No." They were quiet for a moment. "Amanda," Taylor said at last, "I have something important to say to you."
Amanda prayed it was no more calculus. Since "she" had made 100% on the test she was afraid Taylor would want her to take up mathematics full time.
"I think it"s time we talk about marriage."
"Oh," Amanda said, not having expected this, and sat down heavily on the bench on the other side of the doorway.
"You"re becoming a young woman now and it"s time to seriously consider when we"ll be married. I have given it some thought and I believe we should be married two months from today. If that suits you, of course."
Amanda"s mind was reeling. This morning her father had threatened to throw Taylor off the ranch and tonight he was proposing that they marry very soon. She couldn"t help wondering if this was an attempt to secure his place on the ranch.
"You have nothing to say?"
Amanda almost answered that it didn"t seem to be up to her. "That sounds fine to me."
Taylor frowned in the darkness. This afternoon had been so pleasant when he and Miss Eiler had chosen the engagement ring together. She"d said how overjoyed Amanda would be and how lucky Amanda was to marry someone like Taylor, but right now Amanda didn"t look overjoyed. He took a breath. "Amanda, perhaps you don"t want to marry me."
Before she allowed herself to think, Amanda blurted, "Do you want me or the ranch?" She put her hand to her mouth in horror.
"Oh, so that"s it," he said and sounded relieved. "Has this man Montgomery put such thoughts in your head?"
"I apologize, sir, it was an awful thing to say. Of course I"ll be most happy to marry you any time you say. If you will give me a date I will begin preparations, or no, you will want to do that. But the groom isn"t supposed to see the bridal gown beforehand, so someone else had better choose it, but you can if you want. I"ll do what I can to help. My lessons keep me busy, but I"ll-"
"Amanda!" Taylor said sharply. "Of course you may plan your own wedding. Sometimes you make me feel like a jailor, that I keep you under lock and key. I have merely tried my best to give you an education. I apologize if you have felt yourself to be a prisoner."
Only since Dr. Montgomery arrived, she thought, but murmured, "Of course I haven"t been a prisoner."
Taylor reached inside his coat pocket and withdrew the little ring box. "May I have your left hand?"
Amanda had no idea what he was going to do. She was afraid she"d get a ruler in her palm, so she was speechless when he slipped a ring on her third finger. The diamond sparkled in the moonlight. She could only stare at it blankly.
"Does it fit?" he asked anxiously. "We tried to get the size right."
"It fits perfectly." Amanda still could barely speak. This was an engagement ring. Now it was official and she was committed to marry Taylor. So why wasn"t she feeling like running and shouting for joy? "Who is "we"?" she asked idly, stalling for time.
"A friend of yours, Reva Eiler, helped me pick it out. Actually, I wouldn"t have the ring if it weren"t for her. It"s Sunday and the jewelry store was closed, but Miss Eiler took me to the jeweler"s house and got him to open it. Miss Eiler said the ring would fit."
It was all Amanda could do to keep from pulling the ring off her hand. Another woman had worn her engagement ring before she had! Wasn"t it enough that Reva had Dr. Montgomery? Did she want Taylor and Amanda"s ring also? "How helpful of her," Amanda managed to say and stopped looking at the ring. She wanted to throw it into the dark night.
"Amanda," Taylor said after a while, "about yesterday evening, when you... when you kissed me."
Abruptly, she stood. "I"m sorry. I apologized then and I apologize now." She felt herself getting irritated and the ring was burning her finger.
Taylor stood also. "That isn"t what I meant. It"s just that I sometimes have a difficult time thinking of you as an adult. I still tend to remember you as that gawky girl I first met."
Amanda began to relax somewhat. This made sense. Perhaps she wasn"t repulsive to him after all.
"If I may?" he said and held out his arms to her.
Amanda was hesitant but she went to him and put her cheek against his chest. He was thin and she could hear his heart pounding against her face, and instantly she began comparing him to Dr. Montgomery. Dr. Montgomery was bigger, stronger, and his arms and body seemed to envelope her, and by now his hands would be all over her, with his lips on her hair and neck, moving down to her mouth.
Taylor moved away from her to look down at her, then he pressed his lips to hers.
Nothing, she thought. I feel absolutely nothing. I don"t feel warmth or interest or an inclination to do anything more. I might as well be kissing a statue.
Taylor pulled away to look at her. "There, does that convince you that I want you and not the ranch?"
She gave him a little smile and a nod. What was wrong with her? This was Taylor, the man she loved. Perhaps if she tried kissing him again, this time she would feel something. She stood on tiptoe and put her face up to his, but Taylor drew back and gave what to her was an infuriating little chuckle.
"I think that"s enough to begin with, don"t you?" He dropped his arms from her. "Too much excitement and you"ll not be able to sleep."
Anger choked Amanda so she couldn"t speak, but she wanted to say that his kisses certainly weren"t going to excite her.
"Now, Amanda, it"s time for you to go to bed. Tomorrow is a workday and you have a history test. I do hope you"ve studied for it. Tomorrow, perhaps we can talk again." He smiled at her, then put the tip of his finger to her nose. "And if you"re a good girl maybe there"ll be more kisses. And, best of all, as soon as the hops are in, we"ll start planning our wedding. That should make you smile."
Amanda didn"t dare open her mouth for fear of what would come out. Now Taylor was making her feel stupid. Did all men, at some point, turn into patronizing, overbearing know-it-alls? Every man seemed to think he knew exactly what was right for her. Her father took her out of school and kept her at home with a tutor. Her tutor took her away from her mother and put her on a schedule. Then along comes Dr. Montgomery and he makes her stop studying and start eating.
"Yes, I"m going to bed," Amanda said and turned away quickly before she said something awful, such as asking Taylor if he meant to grade her paper with kisses: You miss four questions on Edward I"s Scottish campaign and no kisses for you, Amanda.
Once in her room, she burst into tears. She wrenched the engagement ring from her finger, tossed it onto the bedside table, then flung herself onto the bed and cried desperately. Everything in her life was so confused. A month ago she"d known everything she wanted out of life. She"d wanted Taylor and nothing else. But now she"d met Dr. Montgomery and nothing seemed to be the same. She was discontent about everything. Instead of feeling as if she were educating herself with her studies, Dr. Montgomery had made her feel like an aging schoolgirl.
Toward midnight, she got up, put on her nightgown and went to bed, but she didn"t sleep much. If only she had any idea what to do. If there were only some way she could get rid of the confusion in her mind.
Morning came and Mrs. Gunston gave Amanda Taylor"s latest schedule, but Amanda hardly looked at it. And she realized that she didn"t like Mrs. Gunston"s att.i.tude either. After all, who was the employer and who the employee?
Amanda felt very discontent with the meager breakfast she shared with Taylor and the equally meager lunch. He sent her back to her room after lunch to get her engagement ring which she"d forgotten to wear. At two o"clock she"d barely pa.s.sed her history test and Taylor had said nothing at all. His cold silence was worse than his berating her. "I guess this means no more kisses," she murmured under her breath as he returned her paper with its low grade.
She went back to her room and glanced at the rest of her schedule, and a great, heavy sinking feeling overtook her. If she wasn"t a prisoner, she certainly felt like one.
At 3:30 she walked to the window and saw her mother sitting in the shade of two almond trees, reading the newspaper. Amanda didn"t even think about what she was doing but left her room, right in the middle of when her schedule said she was supposed to be studying Vermeer"s paintings, and went downstairs and outside to her mother.
"h.e.l.lo," Amanda said softly.
Grace looked up from her paper and saw immediately that her daughter had been crying, and crying quite a lot from the look of her swollen face. She wondered what that b.a.s.t.a.r.d Taylor Driscoll had done to her now.
"Have a seat," Grace said, "and the lemonade"s cold."
Amanda poured herself a cool gla.s.s of lemonade, sat down and sipped it. There was a pile of cookies also and she ate two of them before she spoke. "Have you ever been so confused that you had no idea what to do?"
"Daily, but why don"t you tell me what"s confusing you? That is, unless it"s Latin verbs. I"m no good at schoolwork."
"It"s men," Amanda said, blinking back tears.
"I might be able to help you there."
Amanda didn"t know where to start. "I"m afraid that dreadful Dr. Montgomery has ruined my life."
Grace"s eyes bugged and she envisioned her first grandchild being born out of wedlock. She"d take Amanda to Switzerland. She"d- "He seems to have made me-well, restless," Amanda was saying. "I love Taylor, I always have, and I know I want to marry him. He gave me an engagement ring last night. Oh drat! I"ve left it upstairs again. Anyway, I know I love Taylor, but ever since Dr. Montgomery came I can"t seem to enjoy anything. My studies are harder for me now. My mind keeps wandering."
"That sounds normal," Grace said.
"Normal? Normal for an engaged woman to think about another man?"
"Yes, of course. You know what you really need is to get Dr. Montgomery out of your system. You see, he"s a novelty to you, that"s all. It"s like when a child first eats ice cream. The child should be allowed to eat until he makes himself sick, then the next time he"ll use some judgment and not gorge himself."
"You think I should get more of Dr. Montgomery? I thought it would be the best thing for me when he left."
"Just the opposite," Grace said. "You saw him just enough to be fascinated with him. After all, you have led a rather sheltered life, and this kind of man is different enough to intrigue you. If you were to spend more time with him you"d soon see that he really isn"t half the man Taylor is. After a few days of parties and dances and whatever else young people do today, you"d be back here hungry for Taylor and the way of life you"ve always loved."
All Amanda wanted was the confusion to stop. She didn"t want to look at an empty chair and wish Dr. Montgomery were in it. She didn"t want to compare Taylor with another man and have Taylor lose.
"Dr. Montgomery is a frivolous man," Amanda said. "He goes to motion pictures instead of lectures and he"d rather go on a picnic than to a museum."
"He sounds awful," Grace said, her eyes sparkling. Now she knew for sure that she"d lost her chance to get into heaven.
"But how do I see him again? Should I invite him to dinner? I don"t think Taylor will like that."
And Taylor must always be appeased, Grace thought, rather like an ancient hungry G.o.d. She folded the newspaper back. "I just happen to have noticed an ad in today"s paper." She handed the paper to Amanda and pointed.
Translator Wanted. Needs to speak and/or write as many languages as possible. Needed to help with incoming hop pickers. Five dollars a day. Apply Kingman Arms. Dr. Henry R. Montgomery.
"How many languages do you speak, dear?" Grace asked.
"Four," Amanda answered, "and I write three others. Mother, do you think I should apply for a job? I don"t think Taylor would approve of-"
"But you"d be doing it for Taylor. As soon as you spend a little time around this riffraff and see what wasteful lives the others in the world lead, believe me, you"ll come running back to the serenity of life with Taylor. You"ll be glad to get back on a schedule and study something that has some meaning. And then, too, you"ll be sure of your love for Taylor. You"ll get this restless feeling out of your blood. You"ll be a better wife and mother when you"re ready to settle down."
Amanda wanted to believe her mother because the idea of the job excited her. And, also, what her mother said made sense. She would be a better person if she got Dr. Montgomery out of her mind. As it was, she found herself getting more impatient with Taylor by the hour.
She sighed. "I don"t believe Father or Taylor will allow me to do this."
Grace clenched her fists. Years ago she"d lost out to Taylor, she"d lost her husband and her daughter to that man"s need for possession, but she wasn"t going to lose again. This time she"d fight until she was b.l.o.o.d.y. Amanda was beginning to love her again, beginning to come out from under Taylor"s rule, and Grace wasn"t going to let this transformation stop. Thank you, Dr. Montgomery, she thought, thank you for breaking the spell over our house. "I"ll take care of your father," Grace said, "and your father will take care of Taylor."
"Are you sure?" Amanda whispered in awe.
Grace leaned forward and clutched her daughter"s hand. "I"m very sure."
"A job?" Taylor gasped. "Amanda is to work outside her home? As a translator for those... those...?" His upper lip curled into a sneer.
J. Harker chewed on his cigar. Less than an hour ago Grace had come to him and talked about Amanda working for that Dr. Montgomery. Grace had looked so good and smelled so good, fresh out of a bath, and as she"d sat there her dress kept creeping up over her legs. "If we can"t get the professor to stay here where we can keep an eye on him, we can send Amanda there."
Taylor seemed to hear crashing in his ears and knew it was more building blocks of his life falling down around him. He wished he"d never heard the name Montgomery. And to think! He was the one who had wanted him to come to the Caulden Ranch in the first place. "But field workers," Taylor said in disgust. "A woman of Amanda"s sensibilities couldn"t deal with such men."
"I"m beginning to think my daughter has more of me in her than I thought. She"ll go to see about whatever the professor"s doin" and she"ll come back and report everything. We"ll always be two steps ahead of the unionists. I"ll get my hops picked and I won"t have any union problems. She"s goin" first thing in the mornin" to get that job." Harker didn"t give Taylor time to reply before he turned away. "And she"ll be havin" breakfast with me in the mornin". I want her to have some strength tomorrow." He left the room.
Taylor sat down and put his head in his hands.
Amanda had never been so nervous in her life. She gave a quiet burp from the enormous breakfast her father had insisted she eat and looked out the car window. She hadn"t seen Taylor since yesterday, and she knew his absence meant disapproval of what she was doing. She would have liked to have explained to him that she was doing this for the good of both of them but he"d never given her the chance.
Her father had certainly seemed pleased, though. He"d smiled at her and given her second helpings of everything. Perhaps her mother had explained what Amanda was doing.
"We"re here, miss," the driver said.
Amanda looked out the window and saw the long line of people standing in front of the Kingman Arms. She"d never spoken to the chauffeur before, except to give directions (Taylor said that one did not speak to underlings unless absolutely necessary), but now he seemed almost like a friend. "Why are all those people there?" she asked.
"Five dollars a day is a lot of money and an awful lot of people speak more than one language."
Amanda was surprised that he seemed to know exactly why she was there.
"Shall I get you to the head of the line, miss? I could go in and tell Dr. Montgomery you want the job. I"m sure he"ll give it to you."
Amanda wasn"t as sure. He"d already said some awful things about her money and her sn.o.bbery. "No, thank you, I"ll just wait in line with the others." She grimaced at that because most of the people in line looked as if they hadn"t had a bath in all their lives. A man with a missing front tooth grinned and winked at her.