"You are unique. You are different from anyone else."
"Ah, yes, I am as unusual as Frances is ordinary."
"Frances," he said heavily, "is beautiful."
Abruptly, Axia moved so she could glare at him. "Frances is not beautiful."
"Oh?" he asked, one eyebrow arched. "Then what is she?"
"You laugh at me, but I say to you that you do not know what beauty is."
"It is what you paint, and since you seem to draw Frances often enough, you must think she is beautiful."
"No, beauty is what inspires love. It is..." She lay back in his arms, her head tucked into his neck. "To be beautiful is to make someone love you. It is when a woman is old and fat, and her husband still sees her as slim and radiant, her eyes bright, her hair dark. To be truly beautiful you have to think more of other people than you do of yourself."
"So are you beautiful?"
"You are laughing at me! No, I am not beautiful. I never think of anyone but myself. But Tode is very beautiful. You could not know, but he runs all the Maidenhall estate. He knows every person on it, knows all their problems. When a person is ill, Tode sees that he is taken care of; if he is melancholy, Tode sees to him-or her, he makes no distinction. Small children are the special concern of Tode, for they do not see him as different but..." She smiled. "Children see the kindness within him. Tode is a very good person."
"But he does not like Frances."
"No one who sees past her face likes Frances," Axia said in disgust. "Except you. You see past her face to her money. As does everyone else in the outside world."
"Frances did not take care of the people on the estate?" He was thinking of his sisters telling him that he was responsible for the surrounding villagers: "Montgomerys have owned that land for hundreds of years so how does your responsibility cease after a mere two years?" was his sisters" philosophy.
"Frances does not know their names. Frances wants-"
"Yes, what does Frances want?"
"Do you ask me again how to court her? Shall I tell you to give her more daisies? Perhaps you should seal her in a room full of them."
"No, I was not asking you how to court her. I was..." Yes, what was he asking? "What do you want in life?"
"Freedom," she said quickly. "To not live locked away, secret. To be able to go where I want when I want." Quickly, she turned to look up at him. "Have you been to France?"
"Many times." Smiling, he looked down at her. He was still damp, parts of his body were cold, he was caked with thick patches of dried mud, and he held a girl wrapped in a smelly horse blanket. None of these things in themselves were conducive to romance, but he felt as though he wanted to - Axia drew back from him in disgust, tried to get away from his grasp. "Do you mean to try to seduce me?" she asked in horror. "Is that the way you are looking at me? First poor scarred Diana, then witless Frances, and now me?"
"No, of course not," Jamie said tiredly. "What could I have been thinking of? When I am around you, I should not take my clothes off-I should put my armor on." With more strength than he meant to use, he pulled her back down on his lap.
"I can remain here alone," she said stiffly. "There is no need for you to stay with me. I am sure that Tode is all right. He has had many attacks with his legs, and I have been there with him. Tode and I need no one else."
Abruptly, Jamie tightened his arms around her, pinning them immobile to her sides so she would not be able to fight her way out of the blanket. "Are you two lovers?"
For just a second, Axia tried to loosen herself, but his hold was too strong, so she gave a great sigh and quit fighting. "No, we are but friends. Why do you put everything in such terms? Is it the great love for Frances that runs through your veins night and day that causes you to think of nothing else?"
"I do not love Frances, and you know I do not."
"But you plan to marry her."
"As you said, I plan to marry her money. It will be a good match for us."
"For her perhaps, but you will be very unhappy. Frances is quite stupid, you know."
"So is my horse, but I still like him."
Axia gave a sigh. "It is not my concern who you marry."
Jamie was thinking that her father would never give his permission. Or was he just hoping that Maidenhall would refuse? He took a deep breath. "I have heard that Gregory Bolingbrooke"s father paid a lot to have her inheritance."
"Where did you hear that?" Axia snapped.
"What the Maidenhall heiress does is the interest of all England. But then, perhaps her father will not accept me as his son-in-law."
"I"m sure he will love having his daughter at court," Axia said.
"If Maidenhall charges a man to marry his daughter rather than giving her a dowry, why would he welcome the marriage of his only child to a penniless earl like me?"
"Perhaps he loves her and will allow her anything," Axia said softly.
"A man who has never bothered to see his daughter in all of her life cannot bear her much love."
"That is not true!" Axia said fiercely. "Perhaps he loves her very much. You do not know."
"Perhaps," Jamie said, puzzled by the vehemence of her outburst.
"Perhaps he locked his rich daughter away to protect her," Axia insisted.
"The queen was not so protected in her childhood as the Maidenhall heiress is. Prisoners have more freedom than she does. Criminals-What is wrong with you?" he asked when she began to try to get off" his lap.
"There is naught wrong with me. I do not think it is amusing to make light of parents who do not love their children."
"Oh," Jamie said in understanding. "Because of what Tode"s father did to him?"
"Yes," she whispered, refusing to think about what he had said. It was not something she wanted to think of. When she was with Tode or Frances, Axia mentioned her father often. Even though they"d had a regular correspondence since Axia was a child, it was true that she had never seen him, never once held his hand... No, she did not like to think of that.
Settling back against Jamie, Axia took deep breaths to calm herself.
"What do you think Perkin Maidenhall would say if I were to marry his daughter in secret?" Jamie asked honestly. Twice now since that first night, Frances had said they must marry in secret.
Axia liked this kind of question as it implied that she knew her father well. Tode often asked her what she thought her father would say about this or that. Pulling back, she looked at him. "I think Maidenhall would like to have his daughter marry into the aristocracy if he can get the man without paying him anything."
Immediately, Jamie thought of his leaking roof and the villagers who wanted the Montgomerys to again be their landlords. "Nothing?"
Axia smiled. "No major capital outlay. The husband of the heiress would, of course, receive what is her due from her mother, but the bulk of the wealth, the fabulous h.o.a.rd as it were, will not come to her husband until after the death of Perkin Maidenhall. That is, if he so wills it."
"Ah, well, if there is enough to put food on the table and buy a few acres of land, I am content."
"If that is all you want, then why bother with the riches of the Maidenhall heiress? Surely, with your looks you could entrap any wealthy young woman."
Jamie shrugged. "Frances is here and there is some-some urgency."
"I see. It does not matter who you sell yourself to."
"Stop it!" he commanded. "You do not know what you speak of. I am not free to marry. I have responsibilities that you know nothing about. What of you? Who do you marry? How will you be supported?" As he said the words, he felt himself stiffen. What did it matter to him who she married? But even as he thought that, he was very aware of her body in the circle of his arms.
"I do understand responsibility and lack of freedom," she said softly. "I understand as well as anyone." For a long while she was silent as she lay back against him, for she well knew that her father would not allow his daughter to marry a penniless knight or to remain married if she dared such. If he were to hear of this, Perkin Maidenhall would react in a rage that such a thing had been done. Her father had not become wealthy by giving anything away for free. Even his daughter. He sold everything.
But he would not care that Frances had married this penniless knight. Perhaps it was cruel of Axia to continue this charade, but if Jamie secretly married Frances for her money, then found she had none, he deserved what he got. But then Axia well knew that she would stop this charade before he went to the altar. It did not matter what happened now, just as long as her father was not involved.
With a crooked smile, Axia imagined halting the wedding ceremony with an announcement that Frances wasn"t worth the clothes on her back. Oh, how she was going to enjoy the look on James Montgomery"s face then.
Just so her father did not know of this, she could play out the game to within seconds of its conclusion.
As for answering him about her own marriage, she did not want to think about that. As soon as they reached their destination, the charade would end and she would have to marry the man her father had chosen for her.
Jamie put his hand on her forehead. "I think something plagues you. You have secrets," he said softly. "Tell me what is in your thoughts."
No! she screamed in her mind as she began to remember that night he had made love to her. Sometimes it seemed far away and sometimes only yesterday that he had held her and kissed her and said that he loved her.
"You!" she said. "You make me sick. You try to seduce me as you do Frances. Or do you leave her chaste for your wedding night? Or is it only poor girls like Diana and me who you use for your lechery? What if you have impregnated poor Diana? Who will take care of her?"
Abruptly, Jamie dropped his arms from around her. "You are free to go," he said coldly, then when she struggled to free herself, he helped with the blanket and she got away from him.
Feeling angry and not knowing the cause of her anger, Axia went to Tode and felt his hands to see that they were warm. When Jamie came to stand near her, her lips tightened. "You may go. Had you better not spend time courting your heiress? I can attest to the fact that Frances will have all the men in the hall swarming about her. And since everyone knows that she is the Maidenhall heiress-"
"What?!"
Axia could not resist a smile at his reaction; obviously he thought his secret safe. "I heard it in the stables when I went to get the blanket."
"And you did not tell me?" he demanded.
"I beg your pardon, but the life of my friend was more important to me than the protection of gold."
"The gold you refer to is in the person of your own cousin."
That sobered Axia. "Yes, do go." Her head came up. "Yes, please do go. I do not need you."
"Axia, you..." Words seemed to fail him.
"Yes? I what?" she asked, shoulders back.
For a moment, Jamie could only stare at her. Are beautiful, is what he wanted to say. If beauty was thinking of others, then Axia, standing in this cold room in her wet clothes while nursing an injured friend, was more than beautiful. But self-preservation kept him from saying such. She is not for you, Montgomery. Not under any circ.u.mstances can you have her.
He had to marry for money. Think of Berengaria, he reminded himself. Think of the villagers who p.a.w.ned everything they had to make you clothing meant to entice an heiress. Think of... Oh, think of anything except this muddy, damp, bad-tempered, big-hearted witch who has occupied your every thought since you met her, he told himself.
"You are every man"s nightmare," he said softly, meaning that no man wanted to meet a woman who overtook him as completely as she had.
"Of course," Axia said, misunderstanding. "Go to your heiress and leave me alone," she said as she turned away.
"Yes," Jamie said and left the tack room.
A few hours later, after a bath and a hot meal, Jamie lifted the quill and began to write to his sisters.
I am sending a letter to Perkin Maidenhall to ask for his daughter"s hand in marriage. I do not know if he will give permission or not. Axia thinks he would like to have an earl for a son-in-law, but I am not so sure.
I have not talked to Lachlan yet, as everyone has now gone to bed. Since it has rained for days here, the roads are like the bottom of a pond, and the wagons were stuck repeatedly. It has caused us some problems, mainly that Axia"s friend was injured.
I have not told you of Tode and I will not now, but suffice it to say that I might bring him home with me. We will need an estate manager, and he comes highly recommended. Berengaria, you will like him very much. You will see him as he really is, as only Axia sees him now.
I must go now as it is late. I would like to sleep, but I must watch for Axia as she is nursing her beloved Tode, and I must see that she is safe.
My love to you both. You are in my prayers always.
With great affection, James "One, two, three, four," Berengaria said. "Yes, I counted that he wrote this Axia"s name four times. Is that right?"
"Mmmmm," Joby said in disgust. "You are right. And he mentions the heiress only once. Oh, but I would like to go to him and put some sense into his head! One of those odious Blunts burned a field today."
"Their own field," Berengaria reminded her sister.
"My point exactly. No longer a Montgomery field. I am tempted to write our Montgomery cousins and tell them what is going on."
"Jamie would skin you."
"Better to die that way than of hunger."
"And how does the burning of a field that is not yours affect your belly?" Berengaria asked her sister, but they both knew the answer. Under no circ.u.mstances could they look like failures to their rich, successful cousins. Berengaria took a deep breath. "We should write him. Ask him to tell us more of the heiress. What does she say? What is her favorite music? Flowers? We will think of many things to ask her, so he will have to talk to her to find the answers."
"If this Axia allows him near her," Joby said spitefully.
"Do not tell me you have grown to dislike this Axia?" Berengaria said hesitantly.
Joby eyed her sister thoughtfully. "As I think you have also. I am sure she has set her eye on an earl and means to have him. It is her only opportunity to meet a man of his rank. What do you think she does to entice him away from the beautiful heiress? Does she wear gowns that reveal an excessive amount?"
Berengaria was thoughtful. "No, Jamie would like intelligence, someone who can talk to him. Do you think she entices him with discussions of Aristotle"s theories? Does she read books in Greek to impress him?"
"Come, we must set our minds on this. What can we do to make him love the heiress?"
"I wish we could get them alone, away from this Axia. You know that Jamie cannot resist a weak creature in need."
"A damsel in distress," Joby said. "Yes, let us see what we can arrange."
Chapter 14.