"Look," Clare snapped, "I"m not the one who started it all. I"m not the one who called me names and left."
"No, you were the one who called her names and stayed."
Clare snorted. "Motherhood has made you disgustingly rational."
Penny gazed down on her sleeping baby. "Rational, no. Some days I"m so sleep-deprived I nearly walk into the walls. But mellow, yes. Really really happy and just, oh, creamy with love, and I want everyone else in the world to be happy, too. Besides, you"re a big girl now, Clare. You"ve got your own great business, and you"re engaged to Jesse. Lexi can"t hurt you ever again as much as she did before."
"Right. Because she"s not going to get the chance."
TEN.
The house Lexi had grown up in was tucked away down a winding dirt lane off Polpis Road, behind a thick stand of evergreen trees. Lexi parked her Range Rover on the white sh.e.l.l driveway and sat for a moment, collecting her thoughts. The old ranch house looked great, tidy and welcoming, and dozens of crocuses dotted the flower beds on either side of the blue door.
Deep breath. Lexi got out, crunched up the sh.e.l.l walkway, and knocked on the door. How odd it felt, to have to knock at her own front door. A younger Lexi wavered ghostily around her like a hologram, barreling up the steps, throwing open the door, stomping snow off her boots as she yelled, "Hi, guys!"
An explosion of barks, yips, yaps, and an odd baritone honk detonated within the house, storming toward the door. Lexi"s family had always had a dog, but this sounded like a kennel. The door opened, and there stood her mother, clad in jeans and a brightly striped sweater, her legs circled by four highly excited canines.
Lexi felt tears rush to her eyes. Myrna was almost sixty, Lexi knew that, but even though it had been years since she"d seen her mother, she hadn"t expected Myrna to have aged quite so noticeably. Her blond hair was thinner, her face lined, her shoulders rounded.
Myrna"s face flushed and her voice was clogged when she said, "Alexandra. Well, well."
Of course her parents suspected that Lexi was still the arrogant little snot she"d been ten years ago. She had to win their trust back. She sucked in a deep breath.
"Oh, Mom, it"s so good to see you." Leaning forward over the wriggling ma.s.s of canines, Lexi grabbed her mother and hugged her tightly. The dogs sniffed Lexi"s ankles, their tails wagging like metronomes.
Myrna scrabbled around in her sweater pocket for one of the endless tissues she kept handy, and blew her nose. "Let"s go into the living room."
"Lexi!" Her huge handsome brother rose to crush Lexi in a bear hug, then held her at arm"s length to study her. "Good to see you."
"You, too." Adam had gotten bulkier, and his thick blond hair was brown now, streaked with a bit of gray, but he was still her older brother, good-humored, affectionate, strong, the guy who had taught her how to ride a bike and told their parents he was the one smoking the cigarettes in the bas.e.m.e.nt.
Lexi"s father was the last to greet her. He was bald and jowly, and he looked wary.
"Hi, Dad." She closed the s.p.a.ce between them and hugged him. He stood stonily, not returning the embrace.
Lexi spoke earnestly. "I"m really glad to be back on the island. It"s so beautiful here. It"s really home."
Her parents exchanged a look, but didn"t reply. The uncomfortable silence stretched in the room until Adam asked, "Drink?"
Both her parents had highball gla.s.ses filled with ice and scotch. "White wine?" Lexi asked.
"Coming right up." Adam went off into the kitchen.
The living room was exactly the same. Moss green wall-to-wall carpet, growing thin near her father"s recliner. A brick fireplace with an antique bra.s.s bucket holding logs and kindling. Photos of Adam and Lexi as children lined up on the mantel. The latest picture had been taken when Lexi graduated from high school. Gad, what a bean pole she had been!
Her mother sank down onto the ancient brown corduroy sofa. Immediately the Jack Russells scrambled to get in her lap, nipping and shoving each other for dominance.
Lexi sat at the other end of the sofa. "Who are these handsome fellows?"
"Fellows?" Myrna stroked their little pointed heads. "These are my girls, can"t you tell? Buddha and Pest." She adjusted them so they lay belly up in her arms. Fondly she gazed down on them, making little kissey faces.
"Mother wants a grandchild," Adam informed her drily as he handed her a gla.s.s of white wine.
"Well, it"s a good thing she"s got two children, isn"t it!" Lexi shot back. Wow, she thought, it came back fast, this family thing.
Adam settled in the armchair with the wonky back leg. Immediately the other two dogs who"d been shadowing his every move lay at his feet. On his feet.
"Um, Adam, your dog is bald," Lexi whispered over the top of the dogs" heads.
Adam nodded. "Yeah, Bella"s got skin problems."
"Bella?" Lexi snorted. "And is that other creature a dog? He looks like a hyena. Not that I"m criticizing."
"Poor Lucky"-Adam bent to pat the dog-"we can"t all be beauties."
Was that a barb? Lexi wondered. A reference to her vanity? She couldn"t interpret every remark anyone made, she"d go mad. She asked her brother, "So you"ve moved back to the island?"
"Two months ago. I was working up in Boston, at Angel Memorial, and heard they needed a vet at the MSPCA on the island, and here I am."
"That"s so great! Where are you living?"
"I bought a small cottage on Crooked Lane."
"He knows he could live here," Myrna interjected with a sniff.
"Mom," Adam said patiently, "I"m thirty-three years old."
"So," Lexi asked, "how"s your love life?"
Adam groaned.
Myrna"s face lit up. "He"s dating Melanie Clark!"
"I"m hungry," Fred said. "I"m going to order pizzas. Two large deluxe, okay? No one"s become a vegetarian recently?"
"Okay," Lexi told her father, then turned her attention back to Adam. "Melanie Clark. I remember her. The sweetest girl, and so pretty. What"s she doing now?"
"Teaching elementary school," Adam told them. "Fourth grade."
"Is this serious?"
"Maybe!" Myrna said hopefully.
Adam was firm. "No."
Fred ordered the pizzas, then carried the phone with him as he settled back in his chair. "Twenty minutes. I"ll pick it up."
"How"s Clare?" Lexi asked.
Myrna smiled fondly. "She"s doing very well. Her shop, Sweet Hart"s, is thriving, and I heard she got a ring from Jesse this Christmas."
"Has Jesse grown up any?" Lexi asked.
Adam gave her a look. "Do you mean has he stopped sleeping around?"
Lexi"s father made a face. He hated s.e.x talk.
"So," Myrna changed the subject, turning toward Lexi. "Tell us about you."
Lexi hesitated. "Well, you know I"m divorced. I"m not sorry I got divorced. But I"m not sorry I married Ed, either. I had a few amazing years."
"You certainly got to travel a lot," Myrna said coolly.
"The traveling was the best part of the marriage, actually. And I suppose I grew up a bit. But I always missed Nantucket. I didn"t expect to, and yet, when I had to decide where to live, I knew at once I wanted to come home."
Adam nodded. "I know just what you mean. You can"t wait to leave, and then you can"t stand to live anywhere else."
"It"s true. Nantucket is, well, magical."
"But how do you intend to make a living?" Her mother"s face wrinkled with concern.
"Believe me, I"ve given this a lot of thought. I know what I love and what I"m good at. I"m opening a clothing shop."
Her father frowned. "I"m not sure that"s such a workable idea, Lexi. You know what happened to our shop. And rents have gotten exorbitantly expensive around here."
Lexi nodded. "Yes, I know. That"s why my shop will be upscale. And my merchandise will be special."
Adam lifted his winegla.s.s to her in a toast. "Good for you, Lex."
"Thanks, Adam."
Myrna squinted her eyes. "How special?"
"My own designs. I"ve got a seamstress I know in New York who will be making the clothes. Well, she and her staff. She did a lot of alterations and custom work for me when we lived in New York, and I got to know her and respect her work."
"It"s a lot of work, running a business," her father warned her. "Not much glamour, lots of window washing and paperwork."
Lexi leaned forward. "I know, Dad, I remember how it was at the store. I"m not afraid of hard work."
"If you don"t mind my asking," Fred continued, "how are you paying for your inventory?"
Lexi wasn"t surprised by the question. She knew money would always be a touchy subject with her parents. "I"m not rich," she admitted. "I stupidly signed a prenuptial agreement when I married Ed that leaves me with, basically, nothing. No alimony, nothing like that. But I did come away with a lot of amazing jewelry and designer clothing. I sold most of it, and that"s what I"m using to start this store."
Her father was quiet a moment, considering. "Well," he said slowly, "this all sounds very exciting."
Lexi"s eyes filled with tears. "Oh, Dad, I know I was a horrible little snot when I was nineteen. I know I said a lot of really stupid, hurtful things, and I"m so so sorry about that. Perhaps I was just too young to know how much I loved my family, or how much I love this island."
Fred was beginning to get that pinched look he got when things got too emotional. He cleared his throat. Myrna"s attention was fixated on the dogs.
Again, Adam came to the rescue. "About your shop, Lex. You"ll have to join the Chamber of Commerce."
"Good idea, Adam!" Lexi brightened, glad to be out of the Slough of Remorse and up on firmer emotional ground. "I need all the advice I can get. But I have a shop s.p.a.ce and a living s.p.a.ce. I came to the island two weeks ago and looked at rental properties, and I"ve signed the contract, and tonight I"ll sleep in my new apartment and tomorrow I"ll start organizing my shop for its grand opening in July!"
"Where is it?" Fred asked.
"On Commercial Wharf. The brick building."
"You mean the duplex where Clare"s shop is?" Myrna asked. When Lexi nodded, she said, "Well, have you spoken to Clare?"
"Not yet," Lexi said. "I"ve got some apologies to make there, too."
Her father rose. "Time to get the pizza."
"I"ll ride in with you," Adam said.
"Come into the kitchen with me," Myrna told Lexi. "We can make a salad."
At the end of the evening, Lexi drove back to her new home on the wharf. Her parents didn"t invite her to stay in her old room, and that was fine. She wanted to be on her own. She was the new, improved, grown-up Lexi, and as she drove along Lower Orange Street, past Marine Home Center and Hatch"s and Orange Street Video, she looked at it with affection, remembering how, when she was nineteen, this same street, these same buildings, all weathered gray shingles and low to the ground, had seemed shabby to her, and unfashionable-rural. She had craved city lights, skysc.r.a.pers, opera houses, fabulous shops.
And now here she was, back on the island. True, the island itself had changed in the past eleven years, becoming more sophisticated-and more expensive. But she had changed, too.
She parked her car on the cobblestones, crossed the narrow lane, slid her key into the lock, and went into the silent building. She climbed the stairs, opened the door, and entered the long empty room. Moonlight spilled in from the wide windows. For a while she leaned against the window, entranced by the shimmering path of white moonlight on black water. She had missed this so.
She wished she could stay awake all night, just staring out at the harbor.
But an enormous yawn overtook her, making her eyes water and her jaw nearly crack, so she unloaded her duffel bag and shoved her clothing around to make a kind of nest on the floor. She folded up some sweaters for a pillow, and spread her coat over her for a blanket, and as she curled up on her funny little pallet, she was deeply content.
ELEVEN.
So what"s the scoop?" Jesse demanded.
"Hang on." Clare untied her ap.r.o.n, settled in her chair, and looked around, savoring this moment. Jesse stared at her like a sleek tawny-pelted mountain lion, captured and tamed at her table.