"There was a girl kept a fruit-stall just by the harbor," said Mrs.
Gannett, "and on this evening, on the strength of having bought three-penny-worth of green figs, you put your arm round her waist and tried to kiss her, and her sweetheart, who was standing close by, tried to stab you. The parrot said that you were in such a state of terror that you jumped into the harbour and were nearly drowned."
Mr. Gannett having loaded his pipe lit it slowly and carefully, and with tidy precision got up and deposited the match in the fireplace.
"It used to frighten me so with its stories that I hardly knew what to do with myself," continued Mrs. Gannett. "When you were at Suez----"
The engineer waved his hand imperiously.
"That"s enough," he said stiffly.
"I"m sure I don"t want to have to repeat what it told me about Suez,"
said his wife. "I thought you"d like to hear it, that"s all."
"Not at all," said the engineer, puffing at his pipe. "Not at all."
"But you see why I got rid of the bird, don"t you?" said Mrs. Gannett.
"If it had told you untruths about me, _you_ would have believed them, wouldn"t you?"
Mr. Gannett took his pipe from his mouth and took his wife in his extended arms. "No, my dear," he said brokenly, "no more than you believe all this stuff about me."
"And I did quite right to sell it, didn"t I, Jem?"
"Quite right," said Mr. Gannett with a great a.s.sumption of heartiness.
"Best thing to do with it."
"You haven"t heard the worst yet," said Mrs. Gannett. "When you were at Suez----"
Mr. Gannett consigned Suez to its only rival, and thumping the table with his clenched fist, forbade his wife to mention the word again, and desired her to prepare supper.
Not until he heard his wife moving about in the kitchen below did he relax the severity of his countenance. Then his expression changed to one of extreme anxiety, and he restlessly paced the room seeking for light. It came suddenly.
"Jenkins," he gasped, "Jenkins and Mrs. Cluffins, and I was going to tell Cluffins about him writing to his wife, I expect he knows the letter by heart."
MONEY-CHANGERS
""Tain"t no use waiting any longer," said Hairy Pilchard, looking over the side of the brig towards the Tower stairs. ""E"s either waiting for the money or else "e"s a spending of it. Who"s coming ash.o.r.e?"
"Give "im another five minutes, Harry," said another seaman persuasively; "it "ud be uncommon "ard on "im if "e come aboard and then "ad to go an" get another ship"s crew to "elp "im celebrate it."
""Ard on us, too," said the cook honestly. "There he is!"
The other glanced up at a figure waving to them from the stairs. ""E wants the boat," he said, moving aft.
"No "e don"t, Steve," piped the boy. ""E"s waving you not to. He"s coming in the waterman"s skiff."
"Ha! same old tale," said the seaman wisely. "Chap comes in for a bit o" money and begins to waste it directly. There"s threepence gone; clean chucked away. Look at "im. Just look at "im!"
""E"s got the money all right," said the cook; "there"s no doubt about that. Why, "e looks "arf as large again as "e did this morning."
The crew bent oyer the side as the skiff approached, and the fare, who had been leaning back in the stern with a severely important air, rose slowly and felt in his trousers" pocket.
"There"s a sixpence for you, my lad," he said pompously. "Never mind about the change."
"All right, old slack-breeches," said the waterman with effusive good-fellowship, "up you get."
Three pairs of hands a.s.sisted the offended fare on board, and the boy, hovering round him, slapped his legs vigorously.
"Wot are you up to?" demanded Mr. Samuel Dodds, A.B., turning on him.
"Only dusting you down, Sam," said the boy humbly.
"You got the money all right, I s"pose, Sammy?" said Steve" Martin.
Mr. Dodds nodded and slapped his breastpocket.
"Right as ninepence," he replied genially. "I"ve been with my lawyer all the arternoon, pretty near. "E"s a nice feller."
""Ow much is it, Sam?" inquired Pilchard eagerly.
"One "undred and seventy-three pun seventeen shillings an" ten _pence_," said the heir, noticing with much pleasure the effect of his announcement.
"Say it agin, Sam," said Pilchard in awed tones.
Mr. Dodds, with a happy laugh, obliged him. "If you"ll all come down the foc"s"le," he continued, "I"ve got a" bundle o" cigars an" a drop o"
something short in my pocket."
"Let"s "ave a look at the money, Sam," said Pilchard when the cigars were alight.
"Ah, let"s "ave a look at it," said Steve.
Mr. Dodds laughed again, and producing a small canvas-bag from his pocket, dusted the table with his big palm, and spread out a roll of banknotes and a little pile of gold and silver. It was an impressive sight, and the cook breathed so hard that one note fluttered off the table. Three men dived to recover it, while Sam, alive for the first time to the responsibilities of wealth, anxiously watched the remainder of his capital.
"There"s something for you to buy sweets with, my lad," he said, restored to good humour as the note was replaced.
He pa.s.sed over a small coin, and regarded with tolerant good-humour the extravagant manifestation of joy on the part of the youth which followed. He capered joyously for a minute or two, and then taking it to the foot of the steps, where the light was better, bit it ecstatically.
"How much is it?" inquired the wandering Steve. "You do chuck your money about, Sam."
"On"y sixpence," said Sam, laughing. "I expect if it "ad been a shillin"
it "ud ha" turned his brain."
"It ain"t a sixpence," said the boy indignantly. ""It"s "arf a suvrin"."
""Arf a wot?" exclaimed Mr. Dodds with a sudden change of manner.