He dips his tongue in further as he positions himself on top of me. His weight held up by his forearms.
He kisses with so much pa.s.sion I almost forget that this is our first time. His lower body pressed against mine and his hardness grinding into me.
His kisses move from my mouth and work there way to my jaw, then down my neck to my chest.
I"m trying to take his shirt off because I need to feel him, all of him. He sits up to remove his shirt and does the same with mine.
"I want you so bad, Kayla," he whispers into my neck.
"I"m all yours," I tell him. Because I am.
And then he reciprocates.
Three times in a f.u.c.king row, he reciprocates, and it feels so fricken good, I don"t know if I"m dreaming it. After the second time, I beg him to stop but he just keeps f.u.c.king going, with his mouth and his tongue and his fingers, and I know that everything before must have been done so G.o.dd.a.m.n wrong, because Jake Andrews knows. He knows how to do things so G.o.dd.a.m.n right.
Once he"s inside me, I work it out, why I never felt like this before. Because if I compare my feelings for Jake to anyone else, then I know. I know I"ve never loved anyone before. Not even a little bit. Not even at all.
Chapter 49.
*Mikayla*
*Age 8*
"Okay, sweetheart. What story would you like to read?"
"I want you to tell me a story, my own story please, Mommy," she smiles at me. Her brown eyes softening when she sees my pleading face.
"Okay, I"ll tell you a very special story. It"s a fairytale, about kissing a Prince."
"Yuck, Mommy! Kissing is gross."
She laughs a little. I don"t know why, I don"t think it"s funny.
"This is about a special kiss. Are you ready?"
"Yep." I nod.
"One day in the future Kayla, you"ll meet a handsome Prince. A Prince so handsome, he will make your heart skip."
I giggle, so does she.
"Every Princess has one Prince to share the loves and joys of life, and do you know how that Princess knows which Prince is hers?"
"How Mommy?"
"From the kiss."
"But how?"
"The very first kiss with your Prince will change your life. When your lips touch for the first time, the earth will feel like it stops moving, but in the same moment, the world around you spins. It"ll feel like fireworks in the night sky. Like a bright light in the darkness. You"ll feel your heart beat fast in your ears but silence will surround you. And when you pull apart and open your eyes and look at each other, and really see each other. You"ll know it in that moment, through that kiss, that you"ve just let someone own a piece of your heart, and you"ll live happily ever after."
Chapter 50.
*Mikayla*
"Jesus Christ, Kayla. Where the f.u.c.k have you been? Where is your phone?" His hands are out, asking me to hand it to him. I get it out of my purse. It"s flat.
I"ve just walked into the house and everyone is here. Jake, Logan, Lucy, Cam, Heidi and Dylan.
Jake takes the phone off me and sees it"s dead.
He walks to the bedroom in a huff, presumably to charge it.
When he walks back he seems p.i.s.sed.
"Start charging your f.u.c.king phone, Kayla. I"m sick of this s.h.i.t," he growls out.
"Jake," Logan says, its a warning.
I look at Jake, he"s never acted like this before.
Only that one time when he thought me and Logan were f.u.c.king around.
Jake snaps his eyes to Logan, then looks to me, and his features even out. Something else takes over.
He walks up to me and takes my hands, I"m wary, because I don"t know what the h.e.l.l is going on.
"I"m sorry, baby. I"ve just... we"ve been trying to call you. Has no one talked to you today?"
I look at him, brows furrowed, confusion all over my face. I sweep the rest of the room and everyone is watching me, waiting.
For what?
I slowly shake my head no.
"I"m scared, Jake. What"s going on?"
He takes my hand and walks me to our bedroom.
He sits me on the edge of the bed and starts pacing the room.
He keeps looking up at me, and I know he"s nervous or something, like he"s trying to find the right words to say next. It"s like the conversation is playing out in his head and he keeps restarting it.
He"s opened his mouth three or four times already but keeps snapping it shut, changing his mind.
What the f.u.c.k is going on?
"What the f.u.c.k is going on? Just say it already. You"re scaring me. Is it your parents? Did something happen? Julie?"
"s.h.i.t!" he says. "No, baby, s.h.i.t, I"m sorry, I didn"t mean to scare you. No, they"re all good. It"s not that, sorry, babe."
"Then what is it? Just tell me. Just get it out. Please?"
He sits on the floor, on his heels, in front of me.
His head bowed.
His hands hold both of mine, playing with the rings on my fingers. My mom and dad"s wedding and engagement rings.
It"s about them.
When he looks up there are tears br.i.m.m.i.n.g in his eyes.
"They caught him, Kayla. They found the a.s.shole that killed your family."
I don"t leave the bedroom for three days, and the whole time, Jake is beside me, leaving only when absolutely necessary.
I hate this me, this stupid, broken me.
I hate that Jake is back to being the guy that has to save me.
And I hate him.
I hate him so f.u.c.king much.
Christopher Leon.
That"s the a.s.sholes name.
The murderer.
The one that took everything.
It shouldn"t matter, that they caught him. I mean, it shouldn"t make me this upset, because whether they have him or not, it"s not going to bring back my family.
Apparently he was busted breaking into another house and the DNA matched.
Nathan, Jake"s dad, has kept Jake informed on the situation. He"s been keeping a close eye and making sure the a.s.shole doesn"t find any loopholes in the system that might make him think he deserves less than what he f.u.c.king is.
A murderer.
The guys came around to check on me a few times but Jake said I wasn"t up for visitors. Even James came around once. I even heard him and Jake talking, like a legit decent conversation. No name calling. No punches.
Nothing like a f.u.c.ked up girl to bring peace between to enemies.
So for three days I cried, I sulked and I went through all the stages of grief all over again, like I was reliving their deaths.
Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and today, I woke up, and reached the final stage, Acceptance.
I was not going to let this a.s.shole ruin me, not again.
I will not let bad people dictate what should be a good life.
Jake walks into the bedroom and pauses slightly when he sees me up and dressed.
He"s been super wary of me, not wanting to push me too far, or suffocate me, or be too far away.
He has been perfect.
My perfect boyfriend.
He eyes me sideways, a little confused.
I would be too.
I"m wearing yoga pants, one of his baseball jerseys and holding his bat.
"Hey, baby." I saunter over to him and kiss him. Really kiss him. He kisses me back and cups my a.s.s lightly.
"Jesus, Kayla. I"ve missed you," he says, as he deepens the kiss and leads me toward the bed.
I laugh into his mouth. "Jake, its been three days, not three years"
"I know but it"s hard... I was going to say it"s hard keeping my hands of you but I think I"ll leave it there... yep... it"s just hard," he says this with a smirk, as he thrusts into me and I laugh out loud.
"It"s so good to hear you laughing again," he says, as he takes my face in his hands and looks into my eyes. "I so much more than a lot love you, you know that right?"
I nod. Because I do. I do know. And I so much more than a lot love him too.
"So what"s with the outfit?" he asks, slowly standing up from the bed, and pulling me up with him. "Not that I don"t love it. It"s hot as f.u.c.k, you wearing my jersey, but why?"
"I want you to pitch to me." I throw him a baseball.
"What?"