Mother

Chapter 4

"January!" Julie was instantly alert. "Why, but you"ll need all sorts of clothes!"

"Oh, she says there"s a sewing woman always in the house," Margaret said, almost embarra.s.sed by the still-unfolding advantages of the proposition. "I can have her do whatever"s left over." Her father lowered his paper to give her a shrewd glance.

"I suppose somebody knows something about this Mrs. Carr-Boldt, Mother?" asked he. "She"s all right, I suppose?"

"Oh, Dad, her name"s always in the papers," Julie burst out; and the mother smiled as she said, "We"ll be pretty sure of everything before we let our Mark go!" Later, when the children had been dismissed, and he himself was going, rather stiffly, toward the stairs, Mr. Paget again voiced a mild doubt.

"There was a perfectly good reason for her hurry, I suppose? Old secretary deserted--got married--? She had good reason for wanting Mark in all this hurry?"

Mrs. Paget and her daughters had settled about the fire for an hour"s delicious discussion, but she interrupted it to say soothingly, "It was her cousin, Dad, who"s going to be married, and she"s been trying to get hold of just the right person--she says she"s fearfully behindhand--"

"Well, you know best," said Mr. Paget, departing a little discontentedly.

Left to the dying fire, the others talked, yawned, made a pretence of breaking up: talked and yawned again. The room grew chilly. Bruce,--oldest of the children,--dark, undemonstrative, weary,--presently came in, and was given the news, and marvelled in his turn. Bruce and Margaret had talked of their ambitions a hundred times: of the day when he might enter college and when she might find the leisure and beauty in life for which her soul hungered. Now, as he sat with his arm about her, and her head on his shoulder, he said with generous satisfaction over and over:--

"It was coming to you, Mark; you"ve earned it!"

At midnight, loitering upstairs, cold and yawning, Margaret kissed her mother and brother quietly, with whispered brief good-nights. But Julie, lying warm and snug in bed half-an-hour later, had a last word.

"You know, Mark, I think I"m as happy as you are--no, I"m not generous at all! It"s just that it makes me feel that things do come your way finally, if you wait long enough, and that we aren"t the only family in town that never has anything decent happen to it!... I"ll miss you awfully, Mark, darling!... Mark, do you suppose Mother"d let me take this bed out, and just have a big couch in here? It would make the room seem so much bigger. And then I could have the girls come up here, don"t you know--when they came over.... Think of you--you--going abroad! I"d simply die! I can"t wait to tell Betty!... I hope to goodness Mother won"t put Beck in here!... We"ve had this room a long time together, haven"t we? Ever since Grandma died. Do you remember her canary, that Teddy hit with a plate?... I"m going to miss you terribly, Mark. But we"ll write...."

CHAPTER III

On the days that followed, the miracle came to be accepted by all Weston, which was much excited for a day or two over this honor done a favorite daughter, and by all the Pagets,--except Margaret. Margaret went through the hours in her old, quiet manner, a little more tender and gentle perhaps than she had been; but her heart never beat normally, and she lay awake late at night, and early in the morning, thinking, thinking, thinking. She tried to realize that it was in her honor that a farewell tea was planned at the club, it was for her that her fellow-teachers were planning a good-bye luncheon; it was really she--Margaret Paget--whose voice said at the telephone a dozen times a day, "On the fourteenth.--Oh, do I? I don"t feel calm! Can"t you try to come in--I do want to see you before I go!" She dutifully repeated Bruce"s careful directions; she was to give her check to an expressman, and her suitcase to a red-cap; the expressman would probably charge fifty cents, the red-cap was to have no more than fifteen. And she was to tell the latter to put her into a taxicab.

"I"ll remember," Margaret a.s.sured him gratefully, but with a sense of unreality pressing almost painfully upon her.--One of a million ordinary school teachers, in a million little towns--and this marvel had befallen her!

The night of the Pagets" Christmas play came, a night full of laughter and triumph; and marked for Margaret by the little parting gifts that were slipped into her hands, and by the warm good wishes that were murmured, not always steadily, by this old friend and that. When the time came to distribute plates and paper napkins, and great saucers of ice cream and sliced cake, Margaret was toasted in cold sweet lemonade; and drawing close together to "harmonize" more perfectly, the circle about her touched their gla.s.ses while they sang, "For she"s a jolly good fellow." Later, when the little supper was almost over, Ethel Elliot, leaning over to lay her hand on Margaret"s, began in her rich contralto:--

"When other lips and other hearts..."

and as they all went seriously through the two verses, they stood up, one by one, and linked arms; the little circle, affectionate and admiring, that had bounded Margaret"s friendships until now.

Then Christmas came, with a dark, freezing walk to the pine-spiced and candle-lighted early service in the little church, and a quicker walk home, chilled and happy and hungry, to a riotous Christmas breakfast, and a littered breakfast table. The new year came, with a dance and revel, and the Pagets took one of their long tramps through the snowy afternoon, and came back hungry for a big dinner. Then there was dressmaking,--Mrs. Schmidt in command, Mrs. Paget tireless at the machine, Julie all eager interest. Margaret, patiently standing to be fitted, conscious of the icy, wet touch of Mrs. Schmidt"s red fingers on her bare arms, dreamily acquiescent as to b.u.t.tons or hooks, was totally absent in spirit.

A trunk came, Mr. Paget very anxious that the keys should not be "fooled with" by the children. Margaret"s mother packed this trunk scientifically. "No, now the shoes, Mark--now that heavy skirt," she would say. "Run get mother some more tissue paper, Beck. You"ll have to leave the big cape, dear, and you can send for it if you need it.

Now the blue dress, Ju. I think that dyed so prettily, just the thing for mornings. And here"s your prayer book in the tray, dear; if you go Sat.u.r.day you"ll want it the first thing in the morning. See, I"ll put a fresh handkerchief in it--"

Margaret, relaxed and idle, in a rocker, with Duncan in her lap busily working at her locket, would say over and over:--

"You"re all such angels,--I"ll never forget it!" and wish that, knowing how sincerely she meant it, she could feel it a little more.

Conversation languished in these days; mother and daughters feeling that time was too precious to waste speech of little things, and that their hearts were too full to touch upon the great change impending.

A night came when the Pagets went early upstairs, saying that, after all, it was not like people marrying and going to Russia; it was not like a real parting; it wasn"t as if Mark couldn"t come home again in four hours if anything went wrong at either end of the line.

Margaret"s heart was beating high and quick now; she tried to show some of the love and sorrow she knew she should have felt, she knew that she did feel under the hurry of her blood that made speech impossible. She went to her mother"s door, slender and girlish in her white nightgown, to kiss her good-night again. Mrs. Paget"s big arms went about her daughter. Margaret laid her head childishly on her mother"s shoulder. Nothing of significance was said. Margaret whispered, "Mother, I love you!" Her mother said, "You were such a little thing, Mark, when I kissed you one day, without hugging you, and you said, "Please don"t love me just with your face, Mother, love me with your heart!"" Then she added, "Did you and Julie get that extra blanket down to-day, dear?--it"s going to be very cold."

Margaret nodded. "Good-night, little girl--" "Goodnight, Mother--"

That was the real farewell, for the next morning was all confusion.

They dressed hurriedly, by chilly gas-light; clocks were compared, Rebecca"s back b.u.t.toned; Duncan"s overcoat jerked on; coffee drunk scalding hot as they stood about the kitchen table; bread barely tasted. They walked to the railway station on wet sidewalks, under a broken sky, Bruce, with Margaret"s suit-case, in the lead. Weston was asleep in the gray morning, after the storm. Far and near belated c.o.c.ks were crowing.

A score of old friends met Margaret at the train; there were gifts, promises, good wishes. There came a moment when it was generally felt that the Pagets should be left alone, now--the far whistle of the train beyond the bridge--the beginning of good-byes--a sudden filling of the mother"s eyes that was belied by her smile.--"Good-bye, sweetest--don"t knock my hat off, baby dear! Beck, darling--Oh, Ju, do! don"t just say it--start me a letter to-night! ALL write to me!

Good-bye, Dad, darling,--all right, Bruce, I"ll get right in!--another for Dad. Good-bye, Mother darling,--goodbye! Good-bye!"

Then for the Pagets there was a walk back to the empty disorder of the house: Julie very talkative, at her father"s side; Bruce walking far behind the others with his mother,--and the day"s familiar routine to be somehow gone through without Margaret.

But for Margaret, settling herself comfortably in the grateful warmth of the train, and watching the uncertain early sunshine brighten unfamiliar fields and farmhouses, every brilliant possibility in life seemed to be waiting. She tried to read, to think, to pray, to stare steadily out of the window; she could do nothing for more than a moment at a time. Her thoughts went backward and forward like a weaving shuttle: "How good they"ve all been to me! How grateful I am!

Now if only, only, I can make good!"

"Look out for the servants!" Julie, from the depth of her sixteen years-old wisdom had warned her sister. "The governess will hate you because she"ll be afraid you"ll cut her out, and Mrs. Carr-Boldt"s maid will be a cat! They always are, in books."

Margaret had laughed at this advice, but in her heart she rather believed it. Her new work seemed so enchanting to her that it was not easy to believe that she did not stand in somebody"s light. She was glad that by a last-moment arrangement she was to arrive at the Grand Central Station at almost the same moment as Mrs. Carr-Boldt herself, who was coming home from a three-weeks" visit in the middle west.

Margaret gave only half her attention to the flying country that was beginning to shape itself into streets and rows of houses; all the last half hour of the trip was clouded by the nervous fear that she would somehow fail to find Mrs. Carr-Boldt in the confusion at the railroad terminal.

But happily enough the lady was found without trouble, or rather Margaret was found, felt an authoritative tap on her shoulder, caught a breath of fresh violets, and a glimpse of her patron"s clear skinned, resolute face. They whirled through wet deserted streets; Mrs. Carr-Boldt gracious and talkative, Margaret nervously interested and amused.

Their wheels presently grated against a curb, a man in livery opened the limousine door. Margaret saw an immense stone mansion facing the park, climbed a dazzling flight of wide steps, and was in a great hall that faced an interior court, where there were Florentine marble benches, and the great lifted leaves of palms. She was a little dazed by crowded impressions; impressions of height and s.p.a.ciousness and richness, and opening vistas; a great marble stairway, and a landing where there was an immense designed window in clear leaded gla.s.s; rugs, tapestries, mirrors, polished wood and great chairs with brocaded seats and carved dark backs. Two little girls, heavy, well groomed little girls,--one spectacled and good-natured looking, the other rather pretty, with a ma.s.s of fair hair,--were coming down the stairs with an eager little German woman. They kissed their mother, much diverted by the mad rushes and leaps of the two white poodles who accompanied them.

"These are my babies, Miss Paget," said Mrs. Carr-Boldt. "This is Victoria, who"s eleven, and Harriet, who"s six. And these are Monsieur--"

"Monsieur Patou and Monsieur Mouche," said Victoria, introducing the dogs with entire ease of manner. The German woman said something forcibly, and Margaret understood the child"s reply in that tongue: "Mamma won"t blame you, Fraulein; Harriet and I wished them to come down!"

Presently they all went up in a luxuriously fitted little lift, Margaret being carried to the fourth floor to her own rooms, to which a little maid escorted her.

When the maid had gone Margaret walked to the door and tried it, for no reason whatever; it was shut. Her heart was beating violently. She walked into the middle of the room and looked at herself in the mirror, and laughed a little breathless laugh. Then she took off her hat carefully and went into the bedroom that was beyond her sitting room, and hung her hat in a fragrant white closet that was entirely and delightfully empty, and put her coat on a hanger, and her gloves and bag in the empty big top drawer of a great mahogany bureau. Then she went back to the mirror and looked hard at her own beauty reflected in it; and laughed her little laugh again.

"It"s too good--it"s too much!" she whispered.

She investigated her domain, after quelling a wild desire to sit down at the beautiful desk and try the new pens, the crystal ink-well, and the heavy paper, with its severely engraved address, in a long letter to Mother.

There was a tiny upright piano in the sitting-room, and at the fireplace a deep thick rug, and an immense leather arm-chair. A clock in crystal and gold flanked by two crystal candlesticks had the centre of the mantelpiece. On the little round mahogany centre table was a lamp with a wonderful mosaic shade; a little book-case was filled with books and magazines. Margaret went to one of the three windows, and looked down upon the bare trees and the snow in the park, and upon the rumbling green omnibuses, all bathed in bright chilly sunlight.

A mahogany door with a crystal k.n.o.b opened into the bedroom, where there was a polished floor, and more rugs, and a gay rosy wall paper, and a great bed with a lace cover. Beyond was a bathroom, all enamel, marble, gla.s.s, and nickel-plate, with heavy monogrammed towels on the rack, three new little wash-cloths sealed in glazed paper, three new tooth-brushes in paper cases, and a cake of famous English soap just out of its wrapper.

Over the whole little suite there brooded an exquisite order. Not a particle of dust broke the shining surfaces of the mahogany, not a fallen leaf lay under the great bowl of roses on the desk. Now and then the radiator clanked in the stress; it was hard to believe in that warmth and silence that a cold winter wind was blowing outside, and that snow still lay on the ground.

Margaret, resting luxuriously in the big chair, became thoughtful; presently she went into the bedroom, and knelt down beside the bed.

"O Lord, let me stay here," she prayed, her face in her hands. "I want so to stay--make me a success!"

Never was a prayer more generously answered. Miss Paget was an instant success. In something less than two months she became indispensable to Mrs. Carr-Boldt, and was a favorite with every one, from the rather stolid, silent head of the house down to the least of the maids. She was so busy, so unaffected, so sympathetic, that her sudden rise in favor was resented by no one. The butler told her his troubles, the French maid darkly declared that but for Miss Paget she would not for one second r-r-remain! The children went cheerfully even to the dentist with their adored Miss Peggy; they soon preferred her escort to matinee or zoo to that of any other person. Margaret also escorted Mrs. Carr-Boldt"s mother, a magnificent old lady, on shopping expeditions, and attended the meetings of charity boards for Mrs.

Carr-Boldt. With notes and invitations, account books and cheque books, dinner lists, and interviews with caterers, decorators, and florists, Margaret"s time was full, but she loved every moment of her work, and gloried in her increasing usefulness.

At first there were some dark days; notably the dreadful one upon which Margaret somehow--somewhere--dropped the box containing the new hat she was bringing home for Harriet, and kept the little girl out in the cold afternoon air while the motor made a fruitless trip back to the milliner"s. Harriet contracted a cold, and Harriet"s mother for the first time spoke severely to Margaret. There was another bad day when Margaret artlessly admitted to Mrs. Pierre Polk at the telephone that Mrs. Carr-Boldt was not engaged for dinner that evening, thus obliging her employer to snub the lady, or accept a distasteful invitation to dine. And there was a most uncomfortable occasion when Mr. Carr-Boldt, not at all at his best, stumbled in upon his wife with some angry observations meant for her ear alone; and Margaret, busy with accounts in a window recess, was, unknown to them both, a distressed witness.

"Another time, Miss Paget," said Mrs. Carr-Boldt, coldly, upon Margaret"s appearing scarlet-cheeked between the curtains, "don"t oblige me to ascertain that you are not within hearing before feeling sure of privacy. Will you finish those bills upstairs, if you please?"

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