"Where is your child?" He asked out of the blue since he remembered her longing gaze as she played with those orphans in the park. For that one moment, he actually thought, she was missing the child they lost. How foolish he was! How could she miss the non-existent child?
"His father has the custody of him. I guess even court knew that I won"t be a good mother." Did Wu w.a.n.g felt bad listening to her? Yes! He did! She was a mother who was away from her child. He could tell it was not an ideal situation at all. But was he going to console her or give her moral support? Obviously, not! First, he didn"t have the right to. Second, he didn"t know how to.
"Can you give me an honest answer?" Zhou Qi nodded her head lightly and he asked, "Why did you... I mean... If I really was... You know that child"s father... Would you have still chosen your ex over me?" Why did he ask that question? Perhaps, he was the biggest jerk who wanted to either hold onto a straw of hope or just let himself drown completely.
Zhou Qi thought about his question. Would she have chosen him? Yes, she would have! She wanted to choose him all along but she was indebted to her aunt. She couldn"t possibly go against her words. She couldn"t do it then... She won"t be able to do it even now. "No... I think the outcome would have been the same." But it could have changed if Wu w.a.n.g hadn"t lied about his ident.i.ty back then but if he didn"t have lied about his ident.i.ty, then he would have just been a part of her aunt"s schemes like now.
"Ouch!" That really stung him. The rims of his eyes got red due to the internal battle he was having. This was his last straw of hope and she just s.n.a.t.c.hed that away as well.
"It"s good that you"re here. I actually have a lot to say to you," Zhou Qi was really surprised to hear his sentence since she thought after knowing her intentions of walking back into his life, he"d be furious and that he surely was. But she was forgetting a certain detail that he was from a n.o.ble family. His way of showing his anger was a lot different than normal people.
He sighed as he stood up and walked towards the French doors to look at the bustling city. "The day you broke up with me and that too by telling me about the abortion, I locked my heart and feelings in a dark room. I even left my feelings right there with you but your arrival back into my life was akin to a fire that you started in that closed room where I was. Literally, burning my soul."
"You must hate me a lot now," Zhou Qi spoke with tears swimming in her eyes. She really loved him back then. She did. But she was the weak one. First, she couldn"t control her own desires in that drunken stupor and then she couldn"t fight with her aunt for her love. She knew she was the biggest coward who deserved his hate but his next words really took her off guard.
"Just because I decided not to love you, doesn"t mean I"ll start to hate you now." She stared at his back with wide eyes as she couldn"t possibly understand the man before her eyes. "Don"t get me wrong. I still haven"t stopped loving you completely but now," he turned to look at her face as he added, "Now, I just think that you"re not worth the fight anymore. The more I"ll keep denying it, the more I"ll be letting myself down and I don"t want to do that."
She shot up from her seat and walked up to him with tears stained face and held his s.h.i.+rt. "Why? Why can"t you hate me? You should hate me? I played with your feelings. I made you believe that the child was yours. I left you all alone! How can you not hate a person like me?" She was shrieking hysterically at this point.
Honestly, Wu w.a.n.g suddenly felt pity for her as he held the back of her head and lend her his chest to cry on. "I can"t hate you because I"m not selfish. I can"t be. Not with you! So, my wish had always been that you stay happy wherever you are and with whoever you are." She lifted her eyes to look at him with disbelief in her eyes. How can he possibly wish that? "Just because you broke my heart, I can"t wish for your heartbreak. That"d be really mean if me."
"Why?" She voiced out again.
Wu w.a.n.g pa.s.sed her a sad smile and patted her head saying, "Because I don"t want you to end up like me."
Zhou Qi felt disgusted by herself. How could she let someone like him down? How could she break him like this? Did she hurt him so much that he had become immune to heartache?
She picked up her bag and turned to leave since staying here a minute more, she felt like she"d really be humiliating him and his goodness. As she was leaving, she heard Wu w.a.n.g"s gentle and sincere voice from behind, "I hope you meet someone who doesn"t always make you question what you really mean in their life." Another wave of tears started flowing down her face and she ran out of his penthouse without looking back.
Today, he learned another definition of pain. You love someone, you lose someone. And in the end, you choose to mute your feelings.
After she left, Wu w.a.n.g took a shower and left the house with his car keys. He revved the car aimlessly or it seemed that he had no destination in mind but in reality, he was clear about where he wanted to go.