Have you ever had a moment when you asked yourself, "How did I end up here?"
No?
Well, Wu w.a.n.g was definitely going through that moment when he had to enter a zoo with Yang Ziyi. Standing at the ticket counter, he really wanted to ask himself why did he even agree to be a tour guide?
No matter how reluctant he was he still had to buy the tickets and enter the zoo along with an overly excited doctor. Yang Ziyi was like a kid in a candy store; running around, pointing around, and laughing goofily.
Although Wu w.a.n.g thought that she didn"t seem elegant at all while laughing so loudly, he still felt good seeing her happy. Perhaps the reason was that her happiness was genuine and carefree. It was so infectious that even Wu w.a.n.g couldn"t stop the smile from reaching his own face.
"w.a.n.g, look over there!" Yang Ziyi tugged at his sleeve and dragged him ahead. "That monkey is so cute."
"Monkey? Cute?" Wu w.a.n.g was dumbfounded. He tilted his face to stare at the side of her face while her eyes were glimmering as they were stuck on the monkeys.
"Isn"t that monkey cute?" She asked as she pointed towards a monkey hanging upside down from a branch of the tree.
"It sure is cute." Wu w.a.n.g answered but his gaze didn"t s.h.i.+ft away from her face.
"Are you even looking?" She questioned while hopping around.
"Of course I am!"
Realizing that something was odd with his tone, Yang Ziyi turned her face and sure enough, he wasn"t even looking at the monkeys. He was looking at her!
Did he just call her a monkey?
"You called me a monkey? How dare you?" Yang Ziyi glared at him indignantly.
Wu w.a.n.g cleared his throat. "I called you cute, you dumbo!" He shook his head and gave her a mocking smile. "I have to be fair. How can I call you a monkey when you look like a King Kong?"
Yang Ziyi"s gaped at him in disbelief. "You!" She made a sulking face acting all pitiful.
"Stop sulking! Your already ugly face is looking like a balloon right now." Wu w.a.n.g"s insult didn"t seem to have any effect on her since her attention was caught by something else.
"I can let this matter go if you buy me a tanghulu (Candied fruit on a stick)."
"What?" He looked at her disbelievingly.
"Buy. Me. A. tanghulu." She enunciated each word slowly to help his slow brain to process her words with ease. "Make sure it"s a big one."
Wu w.a.n.g pressed his lips together before mumbling, "Wow! Now I have to buy a big stick for a small stick. How ironic!"
"Did you just call me a stick?" Okay! She was a bit skinny. But... How dare he say that out loud so easily? That"s insulting! And infuriating as well!
"Aren"t you like a stick?" Wu w.a.n.g retorted matter-of-factly. "I"m afraid one day I might try to light you up since it"s very easy to mistake you for a matchstick."
While they were arguing with their own matter, a couple of rogue teenagers pa.s.sed by them and one of actually dared to jeer at Yang Ziyi, "Bro, you"re so handsome why choose this Crown Princess of flat-chest villa as a girlfriend?"
"Oh, you did not just say that!" Yang Ziyi clenched her fists. She was seething in fury. "How dare one called me a stick and the other called me flat-chest? It"s a double attack on my ego!"
She closed her eyes briefly to not let her temper burst out. Wu w.a.n.g was afraid that she might go berserk at them for such a comment but to his surprise, nothing like that happened or so he thought. After a deep breath, she opened her eyes and walked towards those teenagers who were laughing at her to reply with a smile, "Just because you have a di*k doesn"t mean you have to act like one as well."
"You!" Their smiles stiffened while Wu w.a.n.g was left shocked but apparently, there was more to come.
"As a doctor, I learned, having a small di*k is the real cause of you boys acting like a big one."
One of the boys raised his hand to hit her in anger but before Wu w.a.n.g could interfere, Yang Ziyi had already clutched that dainty looking wrist in her iron grip before twisting it so badly that even a bone-crus.h.i.+ng sound could be heard. Unknowingly, Wu w.a.n.g took a step back cautiously just like the companions of that boy who was screaming in pain.
Yang Ziyi kicked his knee before saying, "If you don"t have a face like Calvin Kleins models, don"t expect girls to look like Victoria"s secret angels." Saying that she dusted off her hands and skipped her way back to Wu w.a.n.g"s side.
She held Wu w.a.n.g"s arm saying, "Let"s go."
He really thought she"d be hurt by those comments. He saw a very different side of her just now. She wasn"t just a happy-go-lucky girl or a point-blank doctor. Above all, she was a tough girl who knew how to fight her own battles. Thinking this, Wu w.a.n.g smiled at her and said, "You"re really something."
Yang Ziyi blinked her eyes at him and said, "What other gems of knowledge do you have for me today, Mr. Sherlock? Because everybody knows I"m awesome!"
"More like blockhead! Ouch!" Yang Ziyi pinched his arm as soon as he called her blockhead making him wince in pain. He knocked her on the head and muttered to himself, "This girl needs some serious beating."