BANKER
Do not apologize Now that you"ve brought me. As I said at first, I am prepared to see a mountebank Perform his pretty tricks of eloquence To set the crowd agape. Why, once a week The Ethical Society hires one To work the same performance--quite the same Each time. Unearth a few forgotten doubts, Or dig your elbow into some new dogma, And you will see the mob fawn at your feet, Believing you the greatest mind since Plato.
RICH YOUNG MAN
I"m sure he isn"t that kind.
BANKER
We shall see!
And afterwards, the drinks shall be on you.
[_A gawky young man who has flour in his hair, and a vivacious and pertly dressed girl enter together._
GIRL
I go to all the lectures that I can.
I do think culture is the grandest thing; And one acquires it so easily Nowadays that one shouldn"t let it slip.
BAKER
I"d go to lectures, too, if I could go Always with you.
GIRL
Well, now, perhaps I"ll try To educate you!
BAKER
Oh, I wish you would!
[_Satan enters, dressed as an artisan. He takes a seat in the far corner, out of sight of the platform. Two young men enter. Both have books under their arms._
YOUNG STUDENT
His is the subtlest mind I ever knew.
The gulfs through which he whirled bewildered me When he would talk. So I am quite prepared For a great treat to-day.
YOUNGER STUDENT
Oh, I forgot My note-book. Can you tear a sheet from yours?
SATAN (_to a man beside him who rises, apparently tired of waiting_)
What, going? Well, I wouldn"t, if I were you.
You ought to hear this: I have had a hand In getting him to speak; and I am sure There will be something doing.
THE MAN
Well, I"ll stay, Since you, of the committee, vouch for it.
[_More people enter and take their seats._
YOUNG PLUMBER (_to his companion_)
What do you get by being philosopher?
I don"t see how you do it. I could never Think about nothing all the time, like you.
OLD PLUMBER
Perhaps your mind is not just made for it.
It takes a thinker, that it does. And I Did not get into it so easy, either.
I read a lot of books before I saw The greatness of Philosophy. Now I wonder How I got on without it. Why, to-day I could not clean a sewer in peace of mind If I did not know that, when I got home, I could philosophize on s.p.a.ce and Time.
YOUNG PLUMBER
It must be wonderful to know these things.
[_Brander and Midge enter together. They seem to find some difficulty in choosing their seats._
MIDGE
Are you quite sure that we can hear him here?
BRANDER
Yes; and besides, I do not wish to sit Too near the front. I"d rather not have come At all to-day. But you...
MIDGE
Oh, don"t go back Now on your promise! I must hear him speak.
I must, I must. I cannot tell you why; I do not know. But I have never seen A face that seemed to promise me so much-- Things that I cannot utter, cannot think.
BRANDER
I never want to see his face again.
I shall try not to listen.
CHILD
Mother, when Will the show start?
MERCHANT"S WIFE
Hush, very soon! Yes, see-- There he is coming in.
CHILD