Chapter 426: Why Be Hard on Yourself and Everyone?
Translator: Atlas Studios Editor: Atlas Studios
Liang Mulan revealed a smile, about to praise Lin Ran when she heard, “Granny isn’t that fond of me anyway. In her heart… Lin Nuan is a more suitable candidate to be Second Missy of the Lin family.”
“Xiao Ran!” Lin Jingquan’s face dimmed. “Your grandmother didn’t mean it that way.”
Unlike her usual self, who would argue with Lin Jingquan like a cat with fried fur, she nodded her head at a surprised Liang Mulan. “Perhaps, but I only remember the day I returned to this house. When I was raising my wine cup to toast the elders, granny said, ‘A proper lady from a recognized family doesn’t simply raise her wine cup and drink without a second word. Then again, the environment shapes a person… I guess you can’t be entirely blamed for this. You really have got to learn from Nuan Nuan in the future…"”
Old Madam Lin’s every word from back then was remembered vividly by Lin Ran. Every minute detail about how each word was articulated could be mimicked perfectly by her.
What was supposed to be a joyous occasion to welcome her back turned into an extremely uncomfortable meal for Lin Ran, who feared she might accidentally disgrace herself further.
Lin Jingquan pursed his lips together, and Liang Mulan’s expression also looked ghastly. Only Lin Chen raised his gaze to look at Lin Ran, seemingly probing.
“Ran Ran!” Liang Mulan reached out to grab Lin Ran’s pet.i.te hand on the table, which was still gripping onto the napkin. “All these years, how granny has doted on you, you ought to know…”
Liang Mulan didn’t continue further, only holding her hand tighter and smiling. “Forget it! My bad. Let’s never talk about this again! Nuan Nuan never said she was going to attend Granny’s birthday banquet anyway. Let’s not talk about this…”
Lin Jingquan already learned the truth of how he was released from Lin Chen. Towards Lin Nuan, apart from the father-and-daughter bond of so many years, he also felt grateful and apologetic. a.s.suming the posture of the head of the family, he put down his chopsticks and said to Lin Ran, “Ran Ran, Dad will say this again. I hope you will treat Nuan Nuan like your biological sister. Both of you are kids of the Lin Family, so it’s a tough call for me.”
“Dad…”
Lin Ran’s lips curled into a smile. She subtly retracted her hand from Liang Mulan’s grasp and released the napkin. The pet.i.te hand on her thigh was clenched tightly into a fist, fingers digging deep into her soft palm. However, that physical pain wasn’t even a fraction of the pain she felt in her heart…
She smiled lightly and attempted to cover up the fog at the bottom of her eyes with a smile. “Don’t get mad. I’ve said that I don’t care whether Lin Nuan attends Granny’s birthday banquet. I’ve also never criticized her. Was my performance on the day of her return to the Lin family’s home not satisfactory? Or did I offend Lin Nuan in any way that made Dad so mad?”
Lin Jingquan’s torch-like eyes gazed at Lin Ran, and his tone softened. “I’m only saying that I hope you won’t be calculating with Granny. I hope you will treat Lin Nuan kindly…”
Lin Ran nodded, seemingly in agreement. “I have to be uncalculating with Granny, and I also have to treat Lin Nuan kindly. I have to be magnanimous like Mother Theresa…”
Lin Ran’s speech was obviously not finished, but she stopped abruptly.
She lowered her head and laughed, shaking her head as if mocking herself, as if trying to stop herself from continuing. When she raised her head again, Lin Ran’s eyes glazed, and she smiled brightly. “I get it now, Dad…”
Not just the Lins, even the maids noticed Lin Ran’s abnormal behavior.
They had originally expected a full-blown war this morning, with her raging about how aggrieved and resentful she felt. They didn’t antic.i.p.ate that Lin Ran would so readily admit her defeat and not argue her case.
Likely she has recognized how futile her words were, no matter how much was said.
From a young age, Lin Ran had heard the saying, “the squeaky wheel gets the grease, while those who complain the loudest get the most attention.”
Perhaps the saying was too ingrained in her psyche, so… when Lin Ran who would cry and kick up a fuss was placed next to Lin Nuan who liked to bottle things up inside, the Lin family inevitably felt biased towards Lin Nuan, as they thought that a girl like Lin Nuan would need more care and love.
Lin Ran was seen as that kid who liked to cry and kick up a fuss over nothing.
In the Lin family, Lin Ran had always been a lone wolf.
Even if she filled up the house with her belongings, those things didn’t seem to catch on to the essence of the family, just like Lin Ran herself.
In the past, Lin Ran wanted to vie with Lin Nuan for a more prominent place in the hearts of the Lin family no matter what. To be honest, she merely cared too much about her kin and had a child-like stubbornness about her. But a child… with a heart that loved her family deeply, a pure heart.
When Lin Ran slowly realized that no matter how hard she tried, she was unable to truly have parents and an older brother she could call her own, she suddenly felt tired and no longer wished to fight for it…
No matter how hard she fought for it, she couldn’t win against Lin Nuan, who had no desire to compete for anything. Why then should she be hard on everyone and herself?
The day Lin Nuan came to the Lin family, she said something like that to Lin Nuan in the kitchen as well. This was her last chance for the Lins and her. However, Liang Mulan and Lin Jingquan’s att.i.tude all morning made it painfully clear to Lin Ran that while she could wipe Lin Nuan’s physical presence from the Lin family’s home, she could never hope to wipe Lin Nuan from their hearts.
She could never become Lin Ran; she had always been and would always be Lu Ran!
The Lu Ran who didn’t have a home to return to…
As this realization sunk in, Lin Ran felt as if her heart was pierced with ice, right through her. The biting cold flowed through her blood to the rest of her body.
She smiled with her eyes, indicating to the maids that they could clear the cutlery before her, before saying, “I’m done eating. Dad, Mom, Big Brother, if you’re done eating as well, I have something to announce.”
Lin Jingquan and Liang Mulan had long lost their appet.i.te. Upon hearing Lin Ran, they put down their chopsticks and looked at her.
“I applied to the University of Sheffield’s Postgraduate Program, and my written application has already been approved. I’ll be going for the interview next, and if I should pa.s.s it… I’ll be able to finish my postgraduate studies at the University of Sheffield. The interview is next Monday. I’ve already booked the plane ticket and will be leaving this afternoon. If I pa.s.s it, I’ll stay in the UK to familiarize myself with the environment before school starts…”
This meant that she didn’t intend to return.
This was the reason that Lin Ran said she didn’t care if Lin Nuan attended Old Madam Lin’s birthday banquet. Because she had zero intention of attending it herself…
This wasn’t in her original plans, though.
She was originally planning on telling them that she was going to have fun in the UK for a few days. Only after she pa.s.sed the interview did she intend to tell her family about the good news. If she didn’t pa.s.s, well, they didn’t need to know about it.
But now, Lin Ran no longer had a backup plan; she had to pa.s.s the interview.
Lin Ran’s reason was legitimate, so no one in the family could stop her from leaving. They could only look on as Lin Ran left with her luggage.
The pain that she felt the year Lin Nuan left, Liang Mulan experienced it today once more. She cried her eyes out at home.
Lin Chen’s intention for bringing up this matter to Lin Nuan was for her to go back home to console Liang Mulan.
Lin Nuan was silent for quite a while before speaking. “Brother, if Mom is free these days, she could go accompany Lin Ran in the UK. It’s an important moment, and Lin Ran needs her most important kin with her, especially since she’s heading to a foreign land all by herself.”