Mr. Pim Passes By

Chapter 3

BRIAN. n.o.body yet.

DINAH. Except Mr. Pim.

BRIAN (_crossing down to_ DINAH). Oh, does he--

OLIVIA (_timing as she reaches cabinet, up_ L.), Who"s Mr, Pim?

DINAH. Oh, he just happened--(OLIVIA _takes curtains and work-basket from centre cupboard of cabinet_.)--I say, are those the curtains? Then you"re going to have them after all?



OLIVIA (_with an air of surprise, coming down L., and putting work- basket on table L.C. and sitting with curtains_). After all what? But I decided on them long ago. (_To_ BRIAN.) You haven"t told George yet.

BRIAN (_moving to below stool_ L.C.). I began to, you know, but I never got any farther than "Er--there"s just--er--"

DINAH (_crossing quickly below_ OLIVIA _and speaking into her face_).

George would talk about _pigs_ all the time.

OLIVIA. Well, I suppose you want me to help you.

DINAH (_sitting to_ L. _of_ OLIVIA). Oh, do, darling.

BRIAN (_sits on stool_ L.C.). It would be awfully decent of you. Of course, I"m not quite his sort really--

DINAH. You"re my sort.

BRIAN. But I don"t think he objects to me, and--

(GEORGE _comes in from terrace, a typical, narrow-minded, honest country gentleman of forty odd._ BRIAN _rises hurriedly and crosses to above piano to_ R. DINAH _rises and stands by fireplace._ OLIVIA _unfolds curtains and prepares to sew_.)

GEORGE (_at the windows--he does not see_ BRIAN). Hullo! Hullo! Hullo!

What"s all this about a Mr. Pim? Who is he? Where is he? (_He puts his cap on table, and comes down, into room_.) I had most important business with Lumsden, and the girl comes down and cackles about a Mr, Pim, or Ping, or something. Where did I put his card? (_Bringing it out_.) Carraway Pim. Never heard of him in my life, (_Moves back to writing- table and puts down card_.)

DINAH. He said he had a letter of introduction, Uncle George.

GEORGE. Oh, you saw him, did you! (_Comes down_ C. _to_ R.) Yes, that reminds me, there was a letter--(_he brings it out and reads it_).

DINAH. He had to send a telegram. He"s coming back.

OLIVIA. Pa.s.s me those scissors, Brian.

BRIAN (_crossing to above table_ L.C.). These? (_he pa.s.ses them_.)

OLIVIA (_giving_ BRIAN _a nod of encouragement and looking round at_ DINAH). Thank you.

GEORGE (_reading_). Ah well, a friend of Brymer"s, Glad to oblige him.

Yes, I know the man he wants. Coming back, you say, Dinah? (DINAH _nods_.) Then I"ll be going back too. Send him down to the farm, Olivia, when he comes. (_Going up meets_ BRIAN.) Hallo, what happened to you?

(_Still moving up a little_.)

OLIVIA. Don"t go, George, there"s something we want to talk about. (DINAH _gives a long whistle. All look sheepish and_ GEORGE _notices their att.i.tude_.)

GEORGE. Hallo, what"s this?

BRIAN (_quickly and over back of i.e. table to_ OLIVIA). Shall I---!

(DINAH _pantomimes. "Yes, do."_)

OLIVIA (_with a roguish loot at_ DINAH). Yes, (_Sticks needle in work_.)

BRIAN (_stepping out to_ C.) I"ve been wanting to tell you all this morning, sir, only I didn"t seem to have an opportunity of getting it out.

GEORGE. Well, what is it?

(BRIAN, _taken aback for a moment, looks to_ OLIVIA _for encouragement.

She nods approval and turning to_ DINAH, _takes her hand encouragingly-- _)

BRIAN (_boldly_). I want to marry Dinah, sir.

GEORGE. You want to marry Dinah? G.o.d bless my soul!

DINAH (_rushing to him below and to his_ R. _and pulling her cheek against his coat, and her hands on his shoulder_). Oh, do say you like the idea, Uncle George.

GEORGE. Like the idea! (_Taking her hands from his shoulder_.) Have you heard of this nonsense, Olivia?

(_Movement of annoyance from_ DINAH.)

OLIVIA. They"ve just this moment told me, George. I think they would be happy together.

GEORGE (_crossing to fire-place_ L., _to_ BRIAN). And what do you propose to be happy together on?

BRIAN (R.C.). Well, of course, I know it doesn"t amount to much at present, but we shan"t starve.

DINAH. Brian got fifty pounds for a picture last March!

GEORGE (_a little upset by this_). Oh! (_Recovering gamely_.) And how many pictures have you sold since?

BRIAN (_gives a nervous look at_ OLIVIA _and_ DINAH, _who then sits on settee_ R.). Well, none, but--

GEORGE. None! And I don"t wonder. Who the devil is going to buy pictures with triangular clouds and square sheep? (BRIAN, _annoyed, moves up_ R.C.) And they call that Art nowadays! Good G.o.d, man (_moving up to the windows_), go outside and look at the clouds!

OLIVIA (_busy st.i.tching rings on curtains_). If he draws round clouds in future, George, will you let him marry Dinah?

(GEORGE _looks round, annoyed._ BRIAN _is hopeful and comes down towards_ DINAH.)

GEORGE (_upset by this, coming down to head of_ L.C. _table_). What-- what? Yes, of course, you would be on his side--all this Futuristic nonsense. (OLIVIA _commences to sew_.) I"m just taking these clouds as an example. (_Crossing to_ BRIAN.) I suppose I can see as well as any man in the county, and I say that clouds aren"t triangular.

BRIAN (_ingratiatingly_). After all, sir, at my age one is naturally experimenting, and trying to find one"s (_with a laugh)_--well, it sounds priggish, but one"s medium of expression. I shall find out what I want to do directly, but I think I shall always be able to earn enough to live on. Well, I have for the last three years.

GEORGE. I see, and now you want to experiment with a wife--

BRIAN. Yes--no--no--

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