BRIAN (_with exaggerated dignity_). Sir Brian Strange, R.A., if you please, Miss Marden. Sir Brian Strange, R.A., writes: "Your Sanogene has proved a most excellent tonic. After completing the third acre of my Academy picture, "The Mayor and Corporation of Pudsey," I was completely exhausted, but one bottle of Sanogene revived me, and I finished the remaining seven acres at a single sitting."
OLIVIA (_rising and looking about her_). Brian, find my scissors for me.
(_Sits again_.)
BRIAN (_rising and crossing to_ C.). Scissors. Sir Brian Strange, R.A., looks for scissors.
(BRIAN, _clasping his hands behind his back, with a very important walk, looks first on the top end of piano, then on writing-table at back_.
DINAH _playfully follows him round, imitating his walk_. BRIAN _crosses to cabinet up L. and finds the scissors on top, takes them up and in a threatening att.i.tude turns to_ DINAH, _exclaiming,_ "Ha, ha!" DINAH _with a little playful scream backs to chair below writing-table, and sits.
Holding up scissors_.)
Once more we must record an unqualified success for the eminent Academician. (_Turning to_ OLIVIA _and with a bow hands them over the back of settee to her_.) Your scissors.
OLIVIA. Thank you so much.
DINAH. Come on, Brian, let"s go out. I feel open-airy.
(_They go up_ R.)
OLIVIA. Don"t be late for lunch, there"s good people. Lady Marden is coming.
DINAH. Aunt Juli-ah! Help! (_She faints in_ BRIAN"S _arms_.) That means a clean pinafore. Brian, you"ll jolly well have to brush your hair.
BRIAN (_feeling it_). I suppose there"s no time now to go up to London and get it cut?
(_Enter_ ANNE _from stairs up R. and comes to foot of staircase, followed by_ PIM, _who comes half-way down the stairs_.)
ANNE. Mr. Pim!
DINAH (_delighted_). Hullo. Mr. Pim! (_Imitating a clown_.) Here we are again! You can"t get rid of us so easily, you see.
PIM. I--er--dear Miss Marden----(_Crosses down to_ C.)
OLIVIA. How-do-you-do, Mr. Pim? I can"t get up, but do come and sit down (PIM _shakes hands with_ OLIVIA.) My husband will be here in a minute.
Anne, send somebody down to the farm----
ANNE, I think I heard the Master in the library, madam.
OLIVIA. Oh, will you tell him then?
ANNE. Yes, madam,
(ANNE _goes out up staircase_.)
OLIVIA. You"ll stay to lunch, of course, Mr. Pim?
DINAH (_coming down_ C. _to_ R.) Oh, do!
PIM. It"s very kind of you, Mrs. Marden, but-----
DINAH. Oh, you simply must, Mr. Pim. You haven"t told us half enough about yourself yet. I want to hear all about your early life.
OLIVIA. Dinah!
(DINAH _sits at piano and plays thirty-two bars of "If you could only care."_)
PIM. Oh, we are almost, I might say, old friends, Mrs. Marden.
(BRIAN _comes down and kneels on settee_ R., _listening to_ DINAH _playing_.)
DINAH. Of course we are. He knows Brian, too. There"s more in Mr. Pim than you think. You will stay to lunch, won"t you?
PIM. (_sits on stool_ L.C.) It"s very kind of you to ask me, Mrs. Marden, but I am lunching with the Trevors.
OLIVIA. Oh, well, you must come to lunch another day.
PIM. Oh, thank you, thank you.
DINAH. The reason why we like Mr. Pim so much is that he was the first person to congratulate us. We feel that he is going to have a great influence on our lives.
PIM. (_to_ OLIVIA). I, so to speak, stumbled on the engagement this morning, and--er--
OLIVIA. I see. Children, you must go and tidy yourselves up. Run along.
BRIAN. Sir Brian and Lady Strange never run; they walk.
(DINAH _stops playing_.) (_Offering his_ R. _arm and bowing_.) Madam!
(DINAH _curtsies and takes his arm and they go up_ C.)
(DINAH _takes mincing steps and playfully shakes her hand at_ MR. PIM, _who is amused_.)
DINAH. Au revoir, Mr. Pim. (_Dramatically_.) We--shall--meet--_again_!
(PIM. _laughing heartily, rises and bows_.)
(BRIAN _and_ DINAH _go out through the window up_ C. _to_ L.)
OLIVIA. You must forgive them, Mr. Pim. They"re such children. And naturally they"re rather excited just now.
PIM. Oh, naturally, naturally!
OLIVIA. Of course you won"t say anything about their engagement. We only heard about it five minutes ago, and nothing has been settled yet.
PIM. Of course, of course!
(_Enter_ GEORGE _from staircase up_ R.)
GEORGE. Ah, Mr. Pim, we meet at last. Sorry to have kept you waiting before. (_Shaking hands_.) How are you? How are you?