_Friend._ "Clever as a man? Clever as a woman more like it! Seen her play some fine old games with two or three fellows, I can tell you!"
[Ill.u.s.tration: NUNC AUT NUNQUAM
_Voice from bottom of ditch._ "Hold hard a minute! My money has slipped out of my pockets, and it"s all down here somewhere!"]
[Ill.u.s.tration: A REFORMED CHARACTER
_John._ "Goin" to give up "untin"! Deary! deary! An" "ow"s that, missie?"
_Little Miss Di._ "Well, you see, John, I find my cousin Charlie, who is going to be a curate, does not approve of hunting women, so I intend to be a district visitor instead!"]
[Ill.u.s.tration: MOTTOES; OR, "WHO"S WHO?"
Mrs. Prettyphat. Family Motto--"_Medici jussu_."]
SOMETHING LIKE A CHARACTER
_Huntsman_ (_on being introduced to future wife of M.F.H._). "Proud to make your acquaintance, miss! Known the Capting, miss, for nigh on ten seasons, and never saw "im turn "is "ead from hanything as was jumpable!
Knows a "oss and knows a "ound! Can ride one and "unt t"other; and if that ain"t as much as can be looked for in a "usband, miss, why, I"ll be jiggered!"
A LIBERAL ALLOWANCE
_Huntsman_ (_who has just drawn Mr. Van Wyck"s coverts blank_). "Rather short of cubs, I"m afraid, sir!"
_Mr. Van Wyck_ (_who has very recently acquired his country seat_). "Most extraordinary! Can"t understand it at all! Why, I told my keeper to order a dozen only last week!"
[Ill.u.s.tration: STORIES WITHOUT WORDS
How "the second horseman" went home.]
[Ill.u.s.tration: Scene--_As above._ Time--_Mid-day._ Sport--_None up to now._
_Stout Party_ (_about to leave_). "Most extr"ordinary thing. Whenever I go home, they always have a rattling good run."
_Candid Friend._ "Then, for goodness" sake, _go home at once!_"]
[Ill.u.s.tration: MOST EXTRAORDINARY
_Dismounted Sportsman._ "Now, how the deuce did my hat manage to get up there?"]
STRAIGHT
_Huntsman_ (_to Boy, who is riding his second horse_). "Hi, there! What the doose are yer doin" of with that second "oss?"
_Boy_ (_Irish, and only just come to the Hunt stables from a Racing Establishment_). "Arrah thin, if oi roides oi roides to win! and divil a second is he goin" to be at all, at all!!"
FORBEARANCE
_Member of Hunt_ (_to Farmer_). "I wouldn"t ride over those seeds if I were you. They belong to a disagreeable sort of fellow, who might make a fuss about it."
_Farmer._ "Well, sir, as him"s me, he won"t say nothing about it to-day."
[Ill.u.s.tration: (_Extract from a letter received by Mr. Shootall on the morning when hounds were expected to draw his covers_)
_Leadenhall Market, Thursday._
Sir,--Your esteemed order to hand. We regret that we are quite out of foxes at present; but, as you mentioned they were for children"s pets, we thought guinea pigs might do instead, so are sending half a dozen to-day. Hoping, &c., &c.]
TOO MUCH
(_Pity the Sorrows of a poor Hunting Man!_)
_Sportsman_ (_suffering from intense aberration of mind in consequence of the weather, in reply to wife of his bosom_). "Put out? Why, o" course I"m put out. Been just through the village, and hang me if at least half a dozen fools haven"t told me that it"s nice seasonable weather!"
AT THE HUNT BALL
_Mr. Hardhit._ "Don"t you think, Miss Highflier, that men look much better in pink--less like waiters?"
_Miss Highflier._ "Yes, but more like ringmasters--eh?"
[_Hardhit isn"t a bit offended, but seizes the opportunity._