"All right," Ralph said. "Show Mrs. Waddington up. I"ll clear out."
"Oh, Ralph, what am I to say to her?"
"Tell her the truth, if she wants it. She won"t mind."
"She will--frightfully."
"Not so frightfully as you think."
"That"s what _he_ said."
"Well, he"s right there, the old beast."
5
"Barbara _dear_," said f.a.n.n.y when they were alone together, "what on earth has happened?"
"Oh, nothing. We just had a bit of a tiff, that"s all."
"About Ralph? He told me it was Ralph."
"You might say it was Ralph. He came into it."
"Into what?"
"Oh, the general situation."
"Nonsense. Horatio was making love to you. I could see by his face....
You needn"t mind telling me straight out I"ve seen it coming."
"Since when?"
"I don"t know. It must have begun long before I saw it."
"How long do you think?"
"Oh, before Mrs. Levitt."
"Mrs. Levitt?"
"She may have been only a safety valve. That"s why I made him adopt you.
I thought it would stop it. In common decency. But it seems it only brought it to a head."
"No. It was his canary waistcoat did that, f.a.n.n.y."
The ghost of dead mirth rose up in f.a.n.n.y"s eyes.
"You"re muddling cause and effect, my dear. He wasn"t in love because he bought the waistcoat. He bought the waistcoat because he was in love.
And those other things--the romantic pyjamas--because he thought they"d make him look younger."
"Well then," said Barbara, "it was a vicious circle. The waistcoat put it into his head that afternoon."
"It doesn"t much matter how it happened."
"I"m awfully sorry, f.a.n.n.y. I wouldn"t have let it happen for the world, if I"d known it was going to. But who could have known?"
"My dear, it wasn"t your fault."
"Do you mind frightfully?"
f.a.n.n.y looked away.
"It depends," she said. "What did you say to him?"
"I said a lot of things, but they weren"t a bit of good. Then I"m afraid I laughed."
"You laughed at him?"
"I couldn"t help it, f.a.n.n.y. He was so funny."
"Oh!" f.a.n.n.y caught her breath back on a sob. "That"s what I can"t bear, Barbara--his being laughed at."
"I know," said Barbara.
"By the way, when you"re dying dear, if you should be dying at any time, it"ll be a consolation to you to know that he didn"t see your drawings--"
"Did _you_ see them?"
"Only the one he was looking at when I came in."
"Was it--was it the one where he was getting into bed?"
"No. He was only hunting."
"G.o.d has been kinder to me than I deserve then."
"He"s been kinder to him, too, I fancy."
She went on. "I want you to see this thing straight. Understand. I don"t mind his being in love with you. I knew he was. Head over ears in love.
And I didn"t mind a bit."
"I think he was reckoning on that. He knew you"d forgive him."
"Forgive him? It wasn"t even a question of forgiveness. I was _glad_. I thought: If only he could have one real feeling. If only he could care for something or somebody that wasn"t himself.... I think he cared for you, Barbara. It wasn"t just himself. And I loved him for it."
"You darling! And you don"t hate me?"
"You know I don"t But I"d love you even more if you"d loved him."