"Oh, I suppose I"m rather like the politician who had his future behind him. But I haven"t made up my mind what to do. I"m living rather from hand to mouth just now, and taking a holiday from thinking."
"Oh, I"ll mind my own business, if that"s what you mean."
"d.i.c.k, how can you? Of course it wasn"t. Please don"t be huffy about nothing."
"I"m worried about you. Don"t let those people up at the Patch get at you again, Winnie--for pity"s sake, don"t! Take care of yourself, my dear. My heart bleeds to see you where you stand to-day, and if you got into any other trouble--you don"t understand that you"re a woman a man might do bad as well as good things for."
Emotion was strong in his voice; Winnie lightly attributed it to his nationality.
"Don"t fret about me. I"ve got to pay for my blunders, and, if I"ve any sense at all, I shall be wiser in future."
"If ye"re ever inclined to another man, for G.o.d"s sake try him, test him, prove him. Ye can"t afford another mistake, Winnie. It"d kill you, wouldn"t it?"
"I shouldn"t--like it," she answered slowly. "Yes, I shall be cautious, d.i.c.k. And it would take a good deal to make me what you call "inclined to" any man just yet." She broke into a laugh. "But it"s your domestic prospects that we were discussing this afternoon!"
"I have none," he answered shortly, almost sourly.
"Oh, you"ve only just begun to think of it," she laughed. "Don"t despair of finding somebody worthy some day!"
They had just reached the station--nearly a quarter of an hour ahead of their time. Dennehy was going back to sleep at the Aikenheads", but he sat down with her in the waiting-room under a glaring gas lamp, to wait for the train. Seen in the light, Dennehy"s face looked sad and troubled. Winnie was struck by his expression.
"d.i.c.k," she said gently, "I hope we haven"t been chaffing you when--when there"s something serious?"
He shrugged his shoulders. "No, no, ye couldn"t call it serious."
"I believe it is, because you were in good spirits till we began about that. Then you looked funny and--well, you don"t look at all funny now.
If there is anything--oh, don"t despair! And all good, good wishes, dear d.i.c.k! Oh, what a pity this should come, just when everything else is looking so bright for you!"
"I tell ye, Winnie, there"s nothing serious."
Winnie nodded an entirely unreal acquiescence. "Very well, my friend,"
she said.
A long silence fell between them. In direct disobedience to a large notice, Dennehy lit a cigarette and smoked it quickly, still looking sad and moody. Winnie, troubled by his trouble and unconvinced by his denial, was wondering why in the world she had never thought of such a thing happening to d.i.c.k Dennehy. Why not? There was no reason; he was a man, like the rest. Only we are in the habit of taking partial and one-sided views of our friends and neighbours. The most salient aspect of them alone catches our eye. To cover the whole ground we have neither time nor, generally, opportunity. They come to stand, to us, for one quality or characteristic--just as the persons in a novel or a play often, perhaps generally, do, however much the writer may have endeavoured to give the whole man on his canvas. Now the quality of lover--of even potential lover--had never seemed to a.s.sociate itself at all necessarily or insistently with d.i.c.k Dennehy, as it did, at once and of necessity, with G.o.dfrey Ledstone. So Winnie had just not thought of it. Yet she knew enough to understand how it is that this very kind of man takes love hard, when it does chance to find him out--takes it hard and keeps it long--long after the susceptible man has got over his latest attack of recurrent fever. Was poor d.i.c.k Dennehy really hard hit?
"Who"d look at me, anyhow?" he had asked. Well, he certainly was not handsome. But Winnie remembered her two handsome men. "I should like to have a word with that girl!" she thought. Her reference was to d.i.c.k"s hard-hearted mistress.
But Winnie was not of the women--if indeed they exist--whose innocence merges in denseness and who can successfully maintain for a twelvemonth a total ignorance of the feelings of a man with whom they are thrown into familiar acquaintance. Suddenly, some two minutes before her train was due, her brain got to work--seized on the pieces of the puzzle with its quick perception. Here was a man, naturally ardent, essentially sanguine, in despair--surely about a woman? He did not deny the woman, though he protested that the matter was not "serious." Merely to look at him now proved it, for the moment at least, grievous. Well, for "serious" she read practicable; for "not serious" she subst.i.tuted hopeless. Then he had looked at her in that queer way; the words had been all right, conceived in the appropriate vein of jocular flirtation; but the look was out of joint. And then his extreme and emotional concern for her welfare and prudent conduct! Would he, even though a Celt, have felt that anxiety quite so keenly, if another and hopeless affection had been dominating his mind? "Who"d look at me, anyhow?" That protest his modesty made consistent with an aspiration for any lady; it need not be taken too seriously. But his abrupt curt answer about his prospects--"I have none"----?
The pieces of the puzzle seemed to fit pretty well, yet the proof was not conclusive. Say that the evidence was consistent, rather than demonstrative. Somehow, intangibly and beyond definition, there was something in the man"s bearing, in his att.i.tude, in the totality of his words and demeanour, which enforced the conviction. There even seemed an atmosphere in the bare, dirty little waiting-room which contained and conveyed it--something coming unseen from him to her, in spite of all his dogged effort to resist the transference. He smoked a second cigarette fiercely. Why, when he had been serene and cheerful all the afternoon, should he be so suddenly overcome by the thought of an absent woman that he could not or would not speak to or look at a friend to whom he was certainly much attached?
The train rumbled into the station. "Here it is!" said Winnie, and rose to her feet.
d.i.c.k Dennehy started and jumped up. For a second his eyes met hers.
"Come along and put me into a carriage," she added hastily, and made her way at a quick pace to the train. "Where are the thirds?"
They found the thirds, and she got in. He shut the door, and stood by it, waiting for the train to start.
"You"ve got a wrong idea. I tell ye it"s not serious, Winnie."
He made his protest again, in a hard desperate voice. Then, with an effort, he took a more ordinary tone.
"I"m full of business over this new idea--and with winding up the old connection, if I do it. I mayn"t be seeing you for a few weeks. You will take care of yourself?"
"Surely if anybody"s had a warning, I have! Good-bye, d.i.c.k."
She put her hand out through the window. He took it and pressed it, but he never lifted his eyes to hers. A lurch back, a plunge forward, and the train was started. "Good-bye, d.i.c.k!" she cried again. "Cheer up!"
Leaning out of the window, she saw him standing with his hands in his pockets, looking after her. He called out something, which she heard imperfectly, but it embraced the word "fool," and also the word "serious." She could supply a connexion for the latter, but travelled to town in doubt as to the application of the former. Was it to her or to himself that d.i.c.k Dennehy had applied the epithet? "Because it makes a little difference," thought Winnie, snuggling down into the big collar of her sealskin coat--quite out of place, by the way, in a third-cla.s.s carriage.
CHAPTER XIX
A POINT OF HONOUR
Mrs. Lenoir"s boast was not without warrant; in the course of her life she had held her own against men in more than one hard fight. She admired another woman who could do the same. In her refugee from the West Kensington studio she rejoiced to find not a sentimental penitent nor an emotional wreck, but a woman scarred indeed with wounds, but still full of fight, acknowledging a blunder, but not crushed by it, both resolved and clearly able to make a life for herself still and to enjoy it. She hailed in Winnie, too, the quality which her own career had taught her both to recognize and to value--that peculiarly feminine attractiveness which was the best weapon in her s.e.x"s battles; Winnie fought man with her native weapons, not with an equipment borrowed from the male armoury and clumsily or feebly handled. Under the influence of this s.e.x-sympathy pity had pa.s.sed into admiration, and admiration into affection, during the weeks which had elapsed since she brought Winnie to her roof.
Her ethical code was pagan, as perhaps is already evident. When she hated, she hurt if she could; when she loved, she helped--she would not have quarrelled with the remark that she deserved no credit for it. She was by now intent on helping Winnie, on giving her a fresh start, on obliterating the traces of defeat, and on co-operating in fresh manoeuvres which should result in victory. But to this end some strategy was needful. Not only other people, but Winnie herself had to be managed, and there was need of tact in tiding over an awkward period of transition. As a subsidiary move towards the latter object, Mrs.
Lenoir projected a sojourn abroad; in regard to the former she had to be on her guard against two sets of theories--the world"s theories about Winnie, which might perhaps find disciples in her own particular friends, the General and his son, Major Merriam, and Winnie"s theories about the world, which had before now led their adherent into a rashness that invited, and in the end had entailed, disaster.
She had pleasant memories of Madeira, which she had visited many years ago under romantic circ.u.mstances. She outlined a tour which should begin with that island, include a sea-trip thence to Genoa, and end up with a stay at the Italian lakes. On the day that Winnie spent at Shaylor"s Patch she sketched out this plan to her friend, the General.
"Upon my word, it sounds uncommonly pleasant. I should like to come with you, but I don"t want to leave Bertie for so long, now he"s at home for once."
"No, of course you don"t." For reasons of her own, she preferred that any suggestion should come from him.
The General pondered, then smiled rather roguishly. "What would you say, Clara, if two handsome young officers turned up at Madeira, for a few days anyhow? Just to bask in the sun, you know?"
"I should say that two handsome young women wouldn"t be much annoyed."
"By Jove, I"ll suggest it to Bertie!" All right--so long as it was the General who suggested it!
Mrs. Lenoir smiled at him. "Of course it would be very pleasant." A slight emphasis on the last word suggested that, if there were any reasons to weigh against the obvious pleasantness, they were matters for her friend"s consideration, not for hers. If he chose to go out of his way to expose his eldest son to the fascination of a young woman about whom he knew nothing at all, it was his own look out. By now there was no doubt that Bertie Merriam was quite conscious of the fascination, though by no means yet dominated by it.
"We should make a very harmonious quartette," the General declared. "I shall certainly suggest it to Bertie."
"Oh, well, you must see how it strikes him. Remember, he may prefer the gaieties of London. Don"t press him on our account!" She would not in any way invite; she preserved the att.i.tude of a kindly, but not an eager, acquiescence in any decision at which Bertie might arrive. But she was strongly of opinion that the handsome officers would turn up--on the island, and not improbably even at Southampton docks.
All this, then, was in Mrs. Lenoir"s mind when Winnie came back from Shaylor"s Patch, her thoughts still occupied with two questions. One related to d.i.c.k Dennehy; it was a private matter and did not concern her hostess. But the problem of conduct which she had submitted to the Aikenheads did. On that she was bound in loyalty to consult Mrs. Lenoir.
That lady had indeed given an opinion once, but circ.u.mstances alter cases. As she ate her dinner, she described humorously the difference of opinion between husband and wife, putting the case in the abstract, of course, without explicit reference to the Major, and taking the liberty of implying that it was Stephen who had initiated the debate. These concessions to modesty and discretion scarcely deceived Mrs. Lenoir, though she accepted them decorously. Both women knew that it was Bertie Merriam who might make a settlement of the point necessary before many days, or, at all events, many weeks, were out.
Worldly-wise Mrs. Lenoir took up a middle position. She was not prepared for Tora"s uncompromising doctrine; yet she agreed with the view that there was much to be said for telling people what they might probably find out--and find out too late in their own opinion. All the same, she dissented from Stephen"s extreme application of the rule of candour.
"You wouldn"t accept a man without telling him, but you needn"t blurt it out to anybody who makes you a few pretty speeches."
"Wouldn"t it be fair to tell him before he got much in love?"